Trust and Faith
Chapter 38: Trust and Faith
“Are you ready?”
Ira, standing behind Tawan with her hands over her eyes, was leaning over to her ear and grinning excitedly in anticipation.
It was almost a week after the Versace show and so many new developments had occurred in that short amount of time. Ira was one of the top models from the show featured in magazines, news shows, articles, and an array of social media engagement. There was a lot of buzz about her story as a "comeback kid" that inspired and intrigued so many people around the world now.
On top of that, she was becoming so booked and busy that Mali had to turn down a few opportunities that conflicted with already scheduled agreements.
For Tawan, her commitment to taking a month off from working had reached its expired time. Between being more active at home with the kids, supporting Ira’s endeavors, and dabbling in freelance work, she felt that time had flew by faster than she anticipated. She actually thought about extending her sabbatical, even being vulnerable and sharing this with Ira, but she also felt like something was on the horizon.
Despite Ira’s unwavering support and almost begging her to take more time off for herself, Tawan felt like she needed to at least send out feelers to a few contacts to ascertain opportunities.
Ira, on the other hand, had other plans and she had been having a hard time keeping them a secret.
“Should I be nervous?” Tawan joked, earning a playful knee to her butt.
“What do you think I’m going to do? Kill you?” Ira asked, feigning offense and firmly securing her hands over her eyes.
“So that’s why you asked about the life insurance policy…,” Tawan said to herself, trying to hide her smirk. They had to make some minor changes now that their finances increased some more with Ira's work.
Ira kneed her butt a little harder and she laughed. “You’re worth more to me alive than dead but you are pushing it,” she threatened jokingly.
“Okay, okay. I’m sorry,” Tawan chuckled, awkwardly raising her hands in their embrace. “I’m ready.”
Ira’s excitement took control again at her answer and she had to mentally remind herself to stop bouncing on her feet or else her hands would slip from Tawan’s eyes. She calmed herself down, swallowed in anticipation, then leaned over some more to look at the side of her face.
Tawan’s mouth was open in a smile as she tried to use her other senses to guess where they were and what they were doing. Ira had went through a lot of trouble to take her out for lunch downtown then for a walk to spend some time together before telling her she had a surprise for her. Tawan had goosebumps as she felt the climax of what was about to happen seep into her.
Though she had no idea what Ira had to show her, she just knew that it had to be something major for her to be so secretive and excited at the same time. Ira had worked very hard over the last year, and it was Tawan’s unwavering support that saw her through so much adversity and challenges. Not to mention, Tawan’s ability to charm and promote Ira to a few of the projects and campaigns she would be taking on soon.
The Versace after party consisted a lot of Mali and Tawan tag teaming brands for deals for Ira.
“Now, its your turn, baby,” Ira whispered by her ear.
Ira dropped her hands and stepped back to give her space to absorb what was being revealed to her. She clasped her hands to her mouth to contain her excitement and anticipation. Tawan, her face still frozen in her opened mouth smile, adjusted her eyes to what lay before her.
They were standing in an empty building and Tawan blinked a few times as she took in her surroundings. The space had a modern feel with the skylights and cream colored walls, but with a sort of vintage trim with the lone brick wall and small spiral staircase that led up to what looked like a loft area. Tawan was struck by the sudden feeling of a sense of home and familiarity.
Her jaw dropped a bit as she took a few steps to observe her surroundings a little more closely. She was trying to piece together why Ira brought her here and what she meant when she whispered by her ear. The overwhelming feeling of this bare bones space started to accumulate at the bottom of her stomach and she put her hand to it. She swallowed hard as she slowly took everything in while turning back to her wife for clarification.
Ira watched her intently, her grin threatening to break her face so she tucked her lips into her mouth. Tawan then felt her stomach floating away.
Butterflies.
“Ira,” Tawan said from deep within her chest. Her eyes were looking around her in wonder as she opened and closed her mouth.
“Tawan,” Ira smiled gently, stepping to her to cradle her unoccupied hand in hers. “I love you with everything that I am. I trust you with my whole heart. I believe you can move mountains. All the things that I know you feel for me.”
Tawan swallowed hard and let out a shaky breath. “And always will,” she promised.
Ira winked and tilted her head at her adoringly. “This is your building. This is FleurDe,” she informed, smiling both sweetly and nervously at her.
Tawan leaned her head closer, unsure. “W-what?” She asked, eyes bulging some. She turned her head all around in search as if she thought she was being pranked or something.
“Yes, my love,” Ira chuckled and tugged on her hand. “You heard me. This is all yours.”
“Ira,” Tawan breathed shakily, moving her hand up to press to her forehead in shock.
“Before you start just know we signed a two-year lease,” Ira cut in, chin up in amused defiance.
“Ira!” Tawan exclaimed, smacking her forehead. She was at such a loss for words.
Ira chuckled and dropped her hand. “You can come out now,” she called as she headed to the middle of the room.
Tawan gulped at the weight of the responsibility she had been thrust and the butterflies in her stomach started to flap their wings more faster. Ira held her hands to her front, smiling at how cute she looked still trying to process and absorb everything she said, always a few steps behind but would always catch up. She rested her weight on her right hip and looked to a room whose door suddenly opened and out stepped Meena.
Ira smiled at her and Meena grinned as she approached her with both of her thumbs up. Reality really hit Tawan like a million bricks right then.
“I think you broke her,” Meena laughed as she went to stand by Ira.
“I know how to fix her,” Ira said and winked at her.
Meena chuckled as she turned back to Tawan who she could see was now piecing things together. Tawan blinked at them a few times before visibly taking a deep breath. Ira, smile never wavering, walked back over to her to grab her arm to lead her to where they were standing.
“I knew you would be shocked but I didn’t expect you to forget how to talk,” Ira teased, linking their arms together.
“I-Ira…,” Tawan sputtered, truly at a loss for words.
“Yes, that’s my name,” Ira answered jokingly, rolling her eyes in amusement.
“Let me try,” Meena chuckled and took a step back to raise her arms. “This is our dream finally coming true, partner. We’re finally launching FleurDe!”
Tawan, eyes bulging some, gulped and slowly shook her head. “H-how? What about Vibe/Me? The money we need? I’m still short-,”
“Don’t worry about any of that,” Meena interjected, smiling as she looked to Ira.
“Don’t worry about 850,000 baht?” Tawan said shocked.
“It’s taken care of, darling,” Ira assured softly by her ear, a tinge of insistence.
Tawan looked to her like she was not comprehending what she was saying about the veracity of the amount of money. Her mind started to list a million and one reasons why it was impossible to have the money for this business venture before realization hit her. She sharply looked to Mali, who had a knowing smile as she watched her, then she turned to look at Ira, who’s lips were puckered as if she would burst as she watched her.
Tawan’s bottom lip started to tremble and her tongue reached out to calm it.
“This is my gift to you for always putting our family first,” Ira confessed, her eyes starting to well as her emotions overtook her.
“Ba-baby,” Tawan whispered, reaching up to touch her jaw as her eyes searched her face. “You didn’t have to-,”
“Nope!” Ira laughed watery, moving her head away and sniffling. “We’re not doing that. I know I didn’t have to do this - I wanted to do this, Tawan. This is your moment. I love you and our kids love you. We have all the faith in the world in you. We just want you to be as happy as you make us.”
Tawan stared at Ira, her shock mounting but her nerves calming themselves instinctively at the way she looked back at her. Ira had the most sweetest, confident, happy smile on and it was all for her. If a plane were falling from the sky right now, Tawan was confident she could reach up and catch it with ease to set it down safely.
“I’ll give you two a moment,” Meena said, smiling when Ira looked to her. She headed up the stairs to inspect the loft area and jot down some mental notes for plans up there.
Ira smiled as she watched her depart from them before turning her attention back to her wife. Tawan’s eyes had never left her face as she was hit with blow after blow of just how much her wife loved her.
“Ira…this is a huge responsibility. I haven’t worked for a mont-,”
“But I have,” Ira cut in gently, squeezing her arm reassuringly. “You needed that break. Hell, you were long overdue for one. I still wish you would take more time, but I trust you to do what’s best for yourself. If you say you want to get back to work then you’re going to go after your dream.”
“But it’s 850,000 baht,” Tawan croaked, eyes wide in disbelief. “We should be saving until I can find another job.”
“We are fine, Tawan,” Ira promised again, forcing eye contact as insistence.
Tawan opened her mouth to protest again but the look that Ira was giving her told her that she had more than planned and prepared for this. Ira saw the gears in her head turning and bit down on her bottom lip lest she crack.
“Versace pays well,” Ira confessed nonchalantly. She dropped Tawan’s arm and took a few steps, sneaking a glance over her shoulder at her.
“Ira!” Tawan gasped, grabbing her head.
“And Polo and YSL and Rolex…,” Ira listed on her fingers, smirking a little teasingly.
“Ira,” Tawan hissed for what felt like the thousandth time as she stepped to her. “You worked hard for that! That’s your money to-,”
“It’s our money,” Ira rebuffed, offended as she whirled around to her. “There is no ‘my money’, Tawan. We share everything, same as we did when I wasn’t working and you provided for us.”
“Yes, but that’s different-,”
“How? How is it different??”
“Because you wanted to stay at home and take care of our family-,”
“Exactly! That was my dream and you gave it to me. This is your dream and I want to give it to you.”
“This is a huge risk, though,” Tawan tried to explain, waving her hand around them in frustration. “You worked too hard to throw your money away like this.”
Ira took a deep breath through her nose. “Tawan, stop saying our money is my money,” she warned gently, raising her hands some.
“Ira,” Tawan groaned and scratched her forehead before sighing. “You know what I’m trying to say.”
“No, I don’t. And I don’t care,” Ira rebutted and stepped to her determinedly. “After everything we’ve been through this month, after all of the challenges we faced, we deserve to be happy. We deserve to do the things we want and love. We both deserve to follow our dreams.”
“I’m not saying I don’t agree with you,” Tawan sniffed, reminiscing with her. “But this is a serious investment. One that could have waited a little longer.”
“Tawan, I love you but you are very stubborn when it comes to us,” Ira stated from experience, folding her arms over her chest. “I believe that you would do this one day, but sometimes you need a push. You would have rather went back to working for someone else just to take care of us rather than chasing after your dream."
“Babe, I love you for always pushing me to do things but this is now our bet,” Tawan persisted, trying to control her frustration at her not getting it. “Do you understand that? The expectation and need to make this work?”
Ira quickly stepped to her and grabbed her face to force her to look into her eyes. “I trust you!” She told her strongly and firmly, eyes insisting and determined.
Tawan came to a halt as she looked into her eyes and saw reflections of nothing but the utmost truth, love, and confidence. She had so much fear and insecurity about doing this with what felt like her family's survival on the line if she failed. Though Ira was more than capable of taking care of their family solely if need be, she did not want to put that pressure on her. FleurDe would be a huge risk for them and their family with both the investment and gamble if it would be successful or not.
Ira did not care one way or the other, all she wanted to do was gently push her wife towards her dreams the way she did for her. Her late start and jump back into her career was made so much possible by Tawan's unwavering love and support combined with her gentle encouragement and nurturing faith. She cannot count how many times she was was able to lean on her through the most difficult moments of her career, Tawan being a buoy and lifejacket she so desperately needed.
Tawan was suddenly grounded into this moment, like her feet were rooted deep into the Earth's soil or core, and she stared into her beautiful eyes that were always her source of strength. Ira swallowed hard, satisfied that she was now starting to listen to her.
“I trust you,” Ira repeated, thick and raw with emotion as her eyes watered and she paused for effect. “This is me trusting you, Tawan. This isn’t a bet. This is your dream, the one you worked so hard for, for so long now."
Ira could see she really had her undivided attention now. Tawan was staring back into her eyes as if she was pulling all of her thoughts out of her mind like a very long receipt for safekeeping. All the evidence was there as to how confident her wife was in her abilities along with the faith she had in her to achieve her wildest dreams.
"Baby, you’ve more than earned this, just like you tell me every single time when I can’t believe a job I booked," Ira continued, swallowing as she stared deep into her eyes and caressed her cheeks. "It's your time now. I trust you, Tawan.”
Tawan, overcome with emotions and the implications of her words, stared deeper into her eyes for a moment as her own eyes welled. She knew how lucky she was to have met this person and every day she was reminded that she needed to always send up thanks and appreciation for that. Every time she thought about the fact that she would get to know Ira and be a recipient of her love and her patience and her kindness forever jolted her to life every single time.
Ira wanted to drive her point home until she felt the emotions she was feeling, so she opened her mouth to continue just as Tawan crashed her lips onto hers. She only took just a second in surprised reaction before melting to her and turning her head, pulling her close to wrap her arms around her neck to lock her there. Ira meant every word she said and she felt accomplished that Tawan now understood and could see it for herself.
Tawan was beyond touched by Ira’s words, by the feelings and emotions that spilled from her soul and poured through her eyes. The one thing that had tested them this past month was never more on display or clear and evident than now. Ira would spend the rest of her life affirming to Tawan her trust she had in her, and Tawan would never make her regret it for as long as she lived.
“OMG! Get a room!”
Both women broke their kiss to look up to Meena who was bending over the low wall of the loft like she was throwing up. Ira groaned shyly as she buried her face in her wife’s chest to hide her blush. Tawan looked up to her now official partner and raised an eyebrow at her in slight annoyance but mostly amusement at her antics.
Meena stood straight and jokingly put her finger down her throat while making a gagging noise before smiling and winking at her. Tawan chuckled and shook her head at her as Ira picked her head back up. She looked back to her greatest cheerleader, the person who would always have faith in her and bet on her, and smiled as she met her eyes.
“You know…,” Tawan trailed off in thought, the air still thick with their moment. “There is one more thing I need to do to make it official.”
“Oh?” Ira asked curiously, watching her with her lips pursed in thought.
Tawan smiled mischievously then looked to her for a second before a belly laugh escaped her as she quickly bent down to wrap her arms under her butt to lift her up.
Ira squealed but quickly squeezed her arms that were still wrapped around her neck to hug her close as she spun them around the center of her new building. Meena, leaning on the low wall now and observing them, could not contain the grin that spread across her face. She watched them thinking they looked like two people who had just fallen in love under the rain, their laughter echoing throughout the building.
Tawan set Ira down carefully then stepped to her to grab her face to kiss her with all the love in the world she possessed.
“The most perfect couple indeed,” Meena said to herself, an enchanted smile ghosting her lips.
Knowing now that they were officially in business, she pushed off the wall and left them in their own world.