You Got This
Chapter 17: You Got This
“Hey! Don’t climb on Po's back like that!”
Tawan rushed from the picnic table to her children who were climbing on their grandfather who was wrestling around in the grass with them. Ira and her mother laughed behind their hands as they watched Tawan get sucked in to their fun when Star grabbed her hand and dragged her down.
They had just finished their Sunday dinner of grilled fish in her parents backyard when the twins asked their grandfather to play with them. The women continued their discussion of Ira’s trip to Paris and what other projects she had lined up.
Yesterday, they had one of the best quality family times that they had, had in a long time. Everyone slept in a little later than usual on the weekends then Tawan went out to pick up a late breakfast rather than her and Ira cooking. They enjoyed their meal together as a family in the living room with cartoons much to the twins enjoyment.
The rest of the day consisted of rotating between movies and video games before Ira and Tawan crashed together onto their favorite spot on the couch. Below them, the twins had made a small fort out of pillows and cushions for their movie viewings.
“So, how does it feel?” Ira’s mother asked, a knowing smile on her lips.
“What?” Ira asked, jutting her chin at her in amusement.
“You know,” her mother continued and rolled her eyes teasingly. “Closing that big of a job so quickly. You thought it would take years.”
Ira pursed her lips to the side, ever the most humble. “I don’t know. Everyone there was so young and fit and had been working for years compared to me. I’m just glad I did good,” she shrugged with a small smile.
“Ira,” her mother scoffed and patted her thigh. “Talent is talent. You more than earned the right to be there. It was always meant to be.”
She knew this deep down and was glad her mother reminded her.
“I know, I know,” she agreed and nodded. “It just hits me sometimes thinking about how high the cards were stacked against me.”
“Nothing too tall for you to climb,” her mother said off handedly.
“Well, I do have you to thank,” Ira smiled and grabbed her hand. “You always tell me to be patient and let things take their natural course.”
“As long as you remain true and your heart is in the right place,” her mother smiled back.
Ira kissed her cheek and they turned back to watch their family.
Though she would still stress herself out with some things, when Ira applied her mother’s teachings she always came out on the other side prepared. It’s what helped her through college, marriage at such a young age, becoming a mother at an even younger age, and going back to work in a demanding and unforgiving field. She understood that challenges were a part of life, so she was thankful she was blessed with her mother and father who guided her so well through them.
“How has Tawan been?” Her mother asked, jutting her chin at the woman in question.
Ira sighed as she stared at her wife. “Mom, I wish she would quit her job and take some time for herself,” she told her and looked to her.
“Her boss,” she stated, frowning.
“He’s so mean to her and he doesn’t appreciate her or the hard work she does,” Ira continued, teeth clenched. “He hired this consultant lady or whatever and didn’t even think about how that would be insulting to Tawan. Now we have to go to a dinner next weekend to welcome her. It’s so ridiculous.”
“Consultant?” Her mother asked confusedly. “What help could they possibly need that Tawan cannot already do?”
“My thoughts exactly,” Ira agreed and shook her head in disbelief. “I want to kill him with my bare hands for how he treats her. But I’m trying to not stress Tawan anymore, especially about quitting. I have to trust her to make that decision when she feels its right.”
“Well, why doesn’t she want to quit?” Her mother asked and tilted her head at her.
“She doesn’t want me to stress about being the only income,” Ira said and looked back to her. “I already told her I could handle it, but she said she would rather have something lined up before making a decision like that. I know she’s not going to budge on that.”
“That girl,” her mother said to herself, a rueful smile as she looked to her daughter-in-law. “Stubborn. But also loyal even if it is to a fault. She always takes care of you. All of you.”
“She takes that promise she made to you and Dad seriously,” Ira said, a small and thoughtful smile on her lips as she looked down at her wedding ring.
“Then we need to tell her that it included her being happy, too,” Ira’s mother said and smiled when she looked up at her.
“You know her, Mom,” Ira said and sighed a little sadly. “She might take her time, but she always finds her way. All I can do is keep encouraging her and giving my support.”
“Well, then hopefully it is soon,” she said and looked back to their family.
“I think it is,” Ira mused and followed her gaze. “We talked about it a bit before I left. We just need to talk a little more so she can plan better.”
“Good. Talking is the hardest thing to do in a marriage,” her mother said sagely.
“Yes, it is,” Ira said, playing with her wedding ring on her finger. “But the only way is through.”
Ira’s mother looked at her she as she looked up and stared at Tawan, a small smile forming and eyes sparkling with adoration. She had not expected her daughter to get married so young, and she never expected her to want to become a mother at an even younger age. But the moment she was introduced to Tawan and she saw how her daughter looked at her like she was the only person in the world, things started to make sense.
Moreover, Tawan worshipped the ground her daughter walked on and lassoed the moon for her.
“You two need a couple’s getaway,” her mother mused out loud and patted her thigh.
“I would love that,” Ira laughed a little ruefully and looked to her. “But that would be a long time from now.”
“Why?” Her mother challenged and raised an eyebrow at her. “You have to always make the time, darling. If you don’t then it will make you.”
“I know, I know,” Ira half groaned, wincing a bit at last part. “I just want to close a few more jobs and take her out myself.”
“Don’t you two share money?” Her mother laughed.
“Yes, but now that I’m working I want it to be solely my treat,” Ira said proudly with her chest a little puffed out.
Both women laughed then looked back to their family.
When Ira started talking about a conversation she had with a group of representatives from various luxury brands, her mother felt her heart skip a beat with joy. Her daughter was glowing, absolutely radiating with a confidence she had not seen since her newlywed days and the early days of motherhood. Ira looked like a woman that had a newfound purpose and was excited for every lesson that it would bring.
“I’m so proud of you, Ira,” her mother said, throat coated in emotions, sniffling as she patted her hand.
“Mom,” Ira said, pouting her bottom lip and trying to contain her emotions behind a smile.
“I mean it,” she continued, smiling and swallowing hard. “You never let anything hold you back. When you see something and you want it, you go for it. Everything you have in your life is because of your hard work and dedication. Your love makes you so much more stronger.”
Ira’s eyes were now watering and she laughed to try to control her rushing emotions. Her parents were her only backbone before she met Tawan and she helped share the load. They never pressured her to be anything other than herself, and they were so patient with her as she navigated life for herself.
Ira often wondered who she would have become if she did not have her parents love and support, and the thought always made her upset because she knew she would not like that person.
“You and Dad are the best parents I could have ever asked for,” Ira told her and squeezed her hand. “I‘m so blessed to have you both.”
“You are our pride and joy,” she told her and kissed her hand. “We cannot wait to see what else life has in store for you.”
Ira’s watery smile made her mother reach up to cup her cheek and thumb away a tear. Her mother smiled and looked her in the eyes for a moment before Ira nodded in understanding. It was a bonding moment that only they could understand - a mother passing the last lessons on the knowledge of womanhood and motherhood at this stage to her daughter.
Ira received it and she looked to her own daughter, smiling in anticipation but all the patience in the world if it meant keeping her six years old forever.
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“What are you doing?” Ira asked, poking her head around the door.
Tawan looked up from her computer and sat up straight to wave her into her office. They had just put the twins to bed over 30 minutes ago, and since it was still a little early for their own bedtime, Tawan snuck off into her office while Ira took a shower. She wanted to go over her presentation again to make sure no fine tuning was needed.
Meena, whom was the only person form work that she told she had actually skipped work on Friday to be with her family, told her that the presentation was on for Monday according to Mr. Tek. She knew her work best friend would keep her little secret.
“I was going over my presentation one last time,” she answered and held her hand out to her.
Ira walked around the desk and sat in her lap, snuggling up to her and draping her arm around her shoulders.
Tawan leaned them up to press a few keys and then brought her mouse down to her chair to scroll on. She explained each slide in detail and practiced some of the things she was going to say. Ira just smiled at her, looking between the screen and her as she focused on what was on the screen.
The presentation seemed to get better and better to Tawan the more she kept talking about it with someone.
“What do you think?” Tawan asked looking up to her expectantly.
Tawan loved bouncing ideas off of Ira because she had graduated with a degree in business and was the true expert on fashion in their household. And not just because she was a model.
“I think you were right about this being the best launch,” Ira said and looked to her.
“Seriously?” Tawan pressed and looked back to the screen. “You don’t think it needs anything? I was thinking about adding-,”
“It is perfect, babe,” Ira said as she pressed a finger to her lips. “Trust yourself.”
Tawan looked up into her eyes then smiled around her finger. She kissed it and then grabbed her hand to kiss the back of her knuckles in thanks. Ira watched as she pointed back at the screen and started going into detail about fashion styles in New York, but Ira was mostly watching how her eyes lit up.
She could not remember the last time she saw her wife so lively and excited about a work project, and it made her wish she would bet on herself right now for her own magazine.
“Should you be giving all your best ideas to Vibe/Me?” Ira asked, resting her chin on top of her head and wrapping her arms around her neck. “Save some for FleurDe.”
Tawan chuckled and hugged her close. “I always save the best for FleurDe,” she said as she adjusted them in her chair.
Ira ran her fingers through Tawan’s hair, pressing an occasional kiss there as she continued scrolling through her slides.
With the somewhat feeling of impending doom, Ira wanted to do what Tawan had promised they would do when she got back. She wanted her wife to know she was serious about her being happy and fulfilled at work however that would look. But she also hoped Tawan would be open to the conversation instead of stressing about the challenge it could be.
“Speaking of FleurDe…,” Ira started, pressing her nose into the side of her head. “Is that the thing you would rather do than go work for another magazine or newspaper?”
Tawan shrugged and exhaled through her nose in thought. “Journalism was tough on my mental,” she said and sat them back in the chair.
Ira nodded and pressed a few kisses to the side of her head. “I remember,” she agreed.
“I still think its meaningful work, you just have to work around those corrupt assholes,” she added, scratching her fingers up her back in thought.
“FleurDe could have a section for investigative journalism,” Ira posed.
“Hmm, now that would be interesting,” Tawan chuckled in thought.
“What would FleurDe look like exactly?” Ira asked curiously, looking up in thought.
Tawan looked up at her then to where she was looking on the ceiling, settling back to think. She did not know if Ira was asking about branding or content, but it made her mind immediately dive into a million ideas and possibilities.
Her and Meena had not had many opportunities to discuss their idea over the last year, so they never got around to the brand part in terms of insignia, colors, or design. Every time they had an idea about content, they would email it to each other’s personal email to save for later which is how they were able to pull their idea for the presentation for tomorrow from their vault.
“The insignia would be a fleur-de-lis with an ‘F’ on the left side and a ‘D’ on the right,” Tawan started, smiling at the ceiling. “Simple colors of white and green, the same as the flower. The lettering will be gold, though.”
“Okay. I can see it now. Very elegant,” Ira said and closed her eyes to keep the picture.
“We would talk about past, present, and future fashion,” Tawan continued, her eyes widening some at the possibilities. “We would be inclusive of areas that don’t get as much coverage when it comes to fashion like sports or workplace or traveling. Culture is important, so we would pay homage to cultures around the world to preserve them. We would bring Thailand to the world and then the rest of the world to Thailand.”
Ira had been staring at her the whole time, running the back of her pointer finger knuckle along her jaw as she spoke. She smiled at the passion in her eyes and her toothy grin, the way she was becoming more animated when she spoke. It was like she had all of this bottled up and was waiting on feeling comfortable to share with someone who had the time to hear her thoughts.
Tawan stared up at the ceiling silently as if she could see everything there right now. Ira kissed her cheek then moved her lips to be by her ear.
“I love how you looked just now,” she said then kissed the side of her head.
Tawan rubbed her hand up her back. “I’m leaning more and more towards it,” she confessed.
Ira pulled back to look at her. “Seriously?” She asked, trying to contain her excitement.
“Mhmm,” she hummed and nodded, looking into her eyes. “I kind of came up with an idea. The last week and a half with the twins and the time we all got to spend together these last few days really made me think.”
“What?” Ira asked, tilting her head at her.
Tawan looked back to her computer and smiled in thought about something she did yesterday.
She had snuck away for about 20 minutes to open a folder on her desktop that she had created a few days before Ira surprised them. Inside the folder was a document of a small list of things she wanted to manifest for herself in the next two years, and one of them needed to start right away. Tawan had such a great time with her children and then all together as a family that it reinforced in her she needed to not miss out on anything else.
“Hey?” Ira coaxed, cupping her cheek to make her look back to her.
“I love you guys so much,” Tawan said a little watery and swallowed hard. “You and our children are the most important things in this world to me. I need to be at home more. I want to be at home more.”
Ira nodded, caressing her jaw as she stifled a sniffle, not wanting to speak so that she could finish her train of thought.
“You needed to go back to work for yourself, but it also helped me realize just how much I’m missed here,” she continued, pouring her soul into her eyes. “I need to be a better parent to our children and I need to be a better wife and partner to you. My job comes second and I need to actually do that.”
“Tawan,” Ira sighed, smacking her lips and wiping at the corner of her eye quickly. “Stop talking like you’re a neglectful parent and wife.”
“I’m being serious, Ira,” she persisted and grabbed her chin to make her look at her. “I promised you that I would take this more serious so we can talk about it. I meant that.”
“I know you did, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to let you talk bad about yourself like you barely see our kids and treat me like just a caregiver or maid or something,” Ira said dismissively and grabbed her hand to hold in her lap.
“I felt like I have, though,” Tawan pressed, turning her hand so their palms touched to lace their fingers. “I needed that reminder. That’s all I’m saying.”
Ira rubbed her thumb over hers for a moment. “What did you want to tell me?” She asked, looking back to her and smiling softly.
Tawan smiled back and brought their hands up to kiss her thumb. “Give me two more years with Vibe/Me. In two years, I will have some much needed time as an editor-in chief and that experience will make me more comfortable. It also gives me time to get my half of the investment,” she shared and waited with bated breath.
Ira smiled in thought then nodded as she reached her hand up to hold her jaw. “I always have your back, baby. We can do two more years,” she agreed, leaning down and kissing her.
“Just like that?” Tawan asked to be sure.
“Just like that,” Ira promised and kissed her again, her thumb stroking her jaw.
“You know you will also be Asia’s top model before then, too,” Tawan whispered against her lips.
They both laughed and Tawan ran her hand up her back to grab the back of her neck, stretching up and bringing her down to her for a long kiss.
“If I become Asia’s top model before two years then you have to quit then,” Ira half joked and they laughed again.
Tawan circled her arms around her waist to pull her closer. “Deal,” she agreed and nodded.
Ira wrapped her arms around Tawan’s neck for a hug then pressed a kiss to her temple before Tawan opened up her manifestations list to share with her.