Retreating Dark
The blade slashes across Regina’s belly. She winces, lucky that it was only a graze. Twice as lucky that the sword didn’t contact Emma for a second time. She throws the blade back in a swelling burst of bright white. She is still getting used to the feeling of light magic, of protector’s magic. She takes deep breaths, a bead of sweat trickles down her temple. She doesn’t know how much longer she can keep this up. But the man stands back up and Emma is still on the ground bleeding and clutching her middle. Regina’s brows dip, she doesn’t have time for this.
Emma doesn’t have time for this.
She throws her hands up and with them comes a tangle of roots, she wraps them around the man. She should kill him. He has earned that much. But she looks at Emma and the urges melts away. The woman had done so much to take the darkness out of her, she decides that she won’t bring it back right in front of her.
Instead she leaves the man there, she’d have someone come to pick him up and arrest him in due time. Emma requires her attention much more. She drops to her knees and brushes a sweep of blonde aside. The woman’s face is pale and clammy and it sends trills of fear down Regina’s spine. She swallows down a lump in her throat, her eyes are already beginning to blur with tears. She doesn’t know what to do and she can’t lose a third lover. It will destroy her. She takes Emma’s hand and squeezes. She presses her lips to Emma’s own, hoping with all of her soul that it will work this time around. But it doesn’t, it never does.
Of course it doesn’t and she should know better. True love’s kiss is for curse breaking.
Death isn’t a curse. It is as natural as things come. It isn’t something she can break.
Pain and sword strikes aren’t curses either. And so she can’t true-love’s-kiss it better. She squeezes Emma’s hand harder. “I’m going to get you some…”
Emma grabs her wrist. “There’s no time for that. You have to heal me.”
Regina flinches, the words tie knots in her stomach. “I’m not...my magic isn’t that light. My heart is…” It’s too dark, but she can’t bring herself to say it out loud. “I can’t use light magic with my heart…”
“You have to try. If you don’t…” Emma trails off and Regina is glad for it. She doesn’t want to hear the word ‘die’.
But it doesn’t change that her heart is still too tainted to use light magic in full. She stares at her hands, stained scarlet with Emma’s blood. She squeezes her eyes shut. She doesn’t know if it will be more painful to know that Emma died without her even trying or if it would be more painful to know that her best wasn’t good enough. That she has done too much evil to accomplish anything heroic.
She dwells on the feeling of Emma’s hand in hers. Maybe she can do it if there’s an edge of dark magic within. A life for a life. All the same, she doesn’t want to leave Emma feeling what she had in losing Daniel and Robin. She supposes that she would rather weather that pain again than force it upon Emma. She just wants to heal the woman.
She closes her eyes and draws to her palms, as much magical energy as she can. She holds her hand over the wound. Emma’s soft wince shatters a little more of her blackened heart. She just wants to take the pain away from the woman. Even if she has to take it for herself.
She pulls forward more energy and then more, until her world goes fuzzy and then black.
She wakes to the feeling of warm breaths on her neck. It takes her a moment to gather that she is being held. Her head is pressed against Emma’s chest. She can hear the beat of the woman’s heart. It is comfortingly steady.
She has to be sure.
She trails her hand under the woman’s shirt. Her hand comes away slicked with uncleaned blood, but it has found no trace of the puncture that spilled it. Regina hugs Emma close.
She is still so dizzy and so scared. She doesn’t know what she is afraid of. Perhaps that Emma’s safety is an illusion. Because she still can’t process that she had used magic that light. She wants to speak but she doesn’t know what to say. Emma speaks first, “can you stand?”
Regina tries to heave herself up. She is able, but her head spins and she sees sparks. She holds a hand to her head. She knows that she has taken a lot out of herself. Emma allows her to lean against her. “See, you can use light magic.”
Regina nods. She can use it, she supposes, but it drains her so. Maybe in time she’d be able to use it without causing herself to feel so disoriented. The dizziness passes and she helps Emma into her car. The man is still snarling and cussing in his earthy prison. She will send David to pick him up.
For the time, she drives Emma home. The savior looks more out of it than Regina, herself, feels.
She pulls into her driveway and tucks the woman into her bed. She comes back with two glasses of hot cider and puts them on the nightstand before dropping onto the mattress with the woman. She drapes an arm over Emma’s shoulder and curls her leg around Emma’s. She doesn’t think that it is possible to wiggle her way any closer. Holding Emma tightly she whispers “You’re safe now.”
Emma chuckles, patting Regina’s hair. “So are you, Gina.”
Regina furrows her brows.
Maybe she is safe.
She does feel safe when she is close to Emma. The woman makes her feel as though she isn’t as dark and vile as she thinks. Emma makes her feel as though her heart can go light again. Emma makes her feel as though love won’t end disastrously this time.
Regina smiles.
Emma returns it, patting her head again.
“Do you feel safe?” Regina asks.
Emma nods. “It’s hard not to after seeing all of that.” Her hand leaves Regina’s head to make a sweeping motion. “I feel safe with you.”
Regina nuzzles her head against Emma’s collar. She feels safe too.
Perhaps for the first time in years.