Immortal Kimchi
A few days passed by uneventfully as they all adjusted to the additional person in the house. Semi had taken Junhee to her appointment two days prior and the doctor said she was doing good. All things considered, the apartment was suspiciously quiet.
Semi leaned back against the couch, she was watching a drama with Junhee and Minsu. It was a romance-y show that Semi honestly found a little boring. She smiled as Junhee and Minsu started gushing about how romantic the male lead was. Semi looked at the screen; the male lead was just wandering at night looking for the female lead. Semi must have missed the scene that gave context to the interaction.
A door behind her creaked, and Subong and Namgyu walked out of their room towards the kitchen. Semi ignored them and went back to pretending to watch the show.
“SEMI!” Namgyu shouted.
Semi scowled and turned around. “What? Don’t fucking yell; I’m literally a meter away.”
“You looked like you were daydreaming about going on a date with your girlfriend.” Namgyu retorted.
“H a h a, I’m dying of laughter.” Semi deadpanned.
Subong turned around from where he had been staring in the cabinet. “We’re out of that microwave rice stuff.”
Semi stood up and walked over to the kitchen. “Are you sure?” She squirmed her way through and checked the cabinets. They were mostly empty. Semi turned to the living room. “Minsu, did you buy groceries?”
Minsu looked up and shook his head. “I’m sorry, I don’t have any money right now.”
“Why do you ev-” Namgyu started.
Subong smacked Namgyu on the chest. “Shut up, man.”
Junhee looked over. “I have some money; I can go to the grocery store.”
Semi looked at Junhee. “It’s okay, we can go.” She turned to Namgyu and Subong. “Come on.” She started to walk over to the door, with Subong trailing her, and Namgyu trailing Subong. Like a row of ducks, Semi laughed to herself.
☺
“You’re not supposed to ride the carts.” Semi lectured as the other shoppers stared at Namgyu pushing Subong in the grocery cart, coasting down the aisle. She ran after them and grabbed the cart. “Stop, you’re embarrassing yourselves.”
Namgyu hopped off the cart. “Wet blanket.”
“Dumpster fire.” Semi retorted as she pushed him aside from the cart and started pushing it down the aisle.
Subong looked up at her. “Sorry, señorita.” He stayed seated in the cart.
Semi sighed. “It’s fine.” Sitting wasn’t hurting anyone.
Namgyu walked up beside her. “Why does he get to stay?”
“Because I hate you more, obviously.” Semi replied to Namgyu.
“Fucking bitch.” Namgyu muttered.
Subong held his hands up. “No fighting. And you don’t call beautiful señoritas bitch.”
Semi snorted. “Simp.”
Subong pouted.
“Why do you know that word? You’re such a loser, Semi.” Namgyu cackled.
Semi smirked. “Yeah, and I’ll lose your balls. So, shut up.” She turned and grabbed an armful of the instant rice, and dumped them in the cart. “What else should we buy?”
Subong shrugged. “I dunno.”
“Soju.” Namgyu answered.
Semi kicked his ankle and pulled out her phone. “What are pregnant women supposed to eat?”
Subong furrowed his brow. “Eggs? Because y’know, they’re laying an egg.”
Semi giggled as she scrolled through her phone. “Who taught you how babies were made?”
“Porn.” Subong replied.
Semi looked up from her phone. “What kind of weirdo ass porn are you watching?”
“Monster girl porn.” Namgyu supplied.
“No, alien anal birth porn.” Subong replied.
Semi coughed and stared at him. “What the fuck is that?”
Subong shrugged. “It was mad weird.”
Semi scoffed. “Where do you even find that?”
Namgyu stared at him. “Why did you even click that, bro?”
Subong put his hands on his temples. “Too many questions.” He pointed at Semi. “You.”
Semi shook her head. “I take back my question. I don’t wanna know.”
Namgyu nodded. “Yeah, bro, I really don’t either.”
Subong nodded. “Fantastic.”
Semi looked back down at her phone. “So pregnant women are supposed to eat food with a lotta iron and calcium.”
“What are those?” Subong asked.
“I don’t kn—oh there’s a list. It says yogurt, beans, sweet potato, fish—this is a super long list. Let’s just get eggs and sweet potato.” Semi pushed the cart.
“My mom said that eating beans and nuts makes babies smart or something.” Namgyu said as he tailed along.
Semi stared at him. “Why do you know this?”
Namgyu scowled at her. “Why do you care, bi-baby?”
Semi made a disgusted face. “Just call me bitch. I think I’m gonna throw up.”
“She really doesn’t like to be called baby.” Subong added.
Namgyu scoffed. “I didn’t notice.”
Subong shrugged. “You should pay more attention, man.”
Semi tossed some canned fruit and canned beans into the cart.
Subong looked over at Semi. “That hurts.”
Semi picked up the cans and moved them off of him.
Subong made a heart with his hands. “Thank you, señorita.”
Semi rolled her eyes and pushed the cart down towards the fridges. She looked around; where had Namgyu gone? She shrugged, oh well. Subong was scrolling on his phone and rapping to himself, so Semi had peace and quiet as she walked over to get eggs. She grabbed a carton and stared at it, where could she put it where it wouldn’t get broken.
She tapped Subong’s shoulder.
He looked up at her. “Huh?”
Semi handed him the carton of eggs. “Don’t let them break.”
Subong stared intently at the carton like it was gonna run away. “Yes ma’am, señorita”
Semi chuckled and pushed the cart over to where she thought the vegetables were. Were sweet potatoes a vegetable? She looked around and found them. She grabbed a bag and put a couple in, stared at the bag, then put a couple more in. She carefully placed the bag in the cart.
“Did you find everything?” Subong asked.
Semi nodded and pushed the cart towards the front of the store. “Except Namgyu, he wandered off.”
Someone placed something cold against Semi’s back.
She turned around, it was Namgyu holding two bottles of alcohol. “Don’t put cold things on my back, asshole.”
Namgyu made a face. “You’re no fun.”
Semi rolled her eyes as they continued toward the check-out. “You should get out of the cart.” She told Subong.
He leapt out of the cart. “No problem.” Miraculously he didn’t break the eggs.
Semi took the eggs from him. “Thanks.”
They went and checked out uneventfully, with the auntie checking them out only giving them one or two dirty looks.
“Your total is 62,150.” The auntie told them as she bagged their items.
Semi pulled out her wallet. “I have 35,200.”
Subong stuck his hands in his pockets and pulled out a couple bills and handed them to Semi. “I think it’s like 30,000.”
Semi counted it. 50,000. “It’s 50,000.”
Subong nodded. “Okay.”
Semi handed the auntie the money and waited for their change. She accepted it and grabbed the bags. “We’ll stand over here while Namgyu buys the alcohol.”
“Okay.” Subong grabbed the rest of the bags and stood by the door with Semi.
Semi leaned against the wall. “One of my coworkers said that they asked for everyone’s ID even though only one person bought alcohol.”
Subong stared at her. “That’s fucking crazy.”
“You still never got a new one?” Semi asked.
Subong shook his head. “Keep forgetting, so much paperwork.”
Semi stared at him. “It’s been over a decade, how?”
Subong shrugged. “You don’t have one either.”
Semi sighed. “I never got one though.”
Namgyu walked over to them. “You need to get your stupid ID cards; I want to stop filing your taxes.”
“How is it different from filing your own? And all of our money goes into your bank account. I swear you’re skimming.” Semi said as they walked to the bus station.
“You both mostly only get paid in cash.” Namgyu kicked at her shin but Semi dodged. “Plus you can get in serious trouble and shit.” He hissed.
Semi shrugged. “I feel like it’s worse to try to get one a decade late than to not have one.”
“You also don’t have insurance.” Namgyu continued.
“We’re healthy, though, man.” Subong defended.
Semi stared at Subong and laughed. “What’s your definition of healthy?”
“Not dead.” Subong answered.
“Eh, I guess that works.” Semi replied as they hopped onto the bus.
☺
Semi walked into the apartment, slipping her shoes off before putting the bags on the counter. “We’re back, surprisingly alive.” She started to put stuff away.
Minsu waved at them as Subong wrapped him in a giant hug. “Hi.”
Subong let go of Minsu and headed over to the kitchen. He held up the carton of eggs and pointed at Junhee. “We got you eggs for your egg.”
Junhee stared at him. “What?”
Semi grabbed the eggs and smacked Subong. “She’s not gonna lay an egg.”
Namgyu pointed at Subong. “He learned about it fr-”
Subong smacked Namgyu. “Not cool, man. She doesn’t wanna hear about that.” He looked over at Junhee. “Sorry, señorita” He looked back at Namgyu. “You know I didn’t go to high school, man.”
Namgyu blinked and stared at Subong. “Wait, you never went to high school?”
Subong stared at Namgyu. “Yeah, bro, I just said that.”
Semi chuckled. “Why else do you think he thought babies came from eggs?”
Namgyu opened his mouth. “Al-” Semi smacked him.
“You don’t have to keep bringing it up. It’s a curse on my ears.” Semi complained.
Junhee walked over. “Wait, did you think I just had a giant egg in my body?”
“I didn’t think about it. But yeah, that sounds wrong.” Subong replied. He handed her a can of beans.
Junhee accepted the can of beans. “Uh, thank you?” She looked over at Semi.
“They make the baby smart or something.” Semi replied.
Junhee nodded. “Oh.”
“Are you having a boy baby or a girl baby?” Subong asked.
Junhee set the can of beans down. “A girl baby.”
Subong counted the number of people in the apartment. “Woah, we have more girls than guys in the apartment now.” He turned to Semi and hugged here. “You’re not alone, señorita.”
Semi shook him off. “Other girls have lived here before. And by the way, you forgot to count yourself.”
Junhee giggled.
Subong counted again on his fingers. “Oh.” He turned to Junhee. “Am I stupid, señorita?”
Junhee looked over at Semi. “Uhm.”
Semi patted Subong on the shoulder. “Very.”
Subong nodded. “Cool.” He grabbed Namgyu’s arm and dragged him over to the couch. “Come on, man. Let’s watch smart people shit with Minsu.”
Namgyu looked up from his phone as he let himself be dragged over. “Huh.”
Semi turned to Junhee. “Whaddya want for dinner?”
“Soup would be nice.” Junhee replied. She looked back at the guys. “Not to be rude, but why is he like that?” She whispered.
Semi pulled stuff from the fridge. Kimchi, water… She looked over at Junhee and shrugged. “I don’t think he likes thinking. And he’s just really bad with numbers in his head.”
Junhee nodded. “Ah.”
Semi held up a can of fish. “We don’t have any other meat. Is this okay?”
“Yeah, that’s fine.” Junhee walked over towards Semi. “Do you need help with anything?”
Semi waved her off. “Don’t worry, just rest.” Semi walked over and grabbed a random folding chair that was leaning against a wall. She set it down near the kitchen. “Sit.”
“Really, I’m fine.” But Junhee still sat down in the chair. “Thank you.”
Semi dumped the fish, kimchi, and water into the pot and turned the stove on. She looked in the cabinet for seasoning. There was soy sauce and chicken bullion. Where was it from? She pulled it out and sniffed it. It wasn’t chicken bullion; she put it back into the cabinet.
“Was that expired?” Junhee asked.
Semi shook her head as she added some of the soy sauce to the pot. “It’s something different in the container.”
Junhee nodded. “Oh.”
Semi looked around the cabinets again and grabbed some sugar packets, adding them to the pot. “This probably won’t be that great. We didn’t buy seasoning or anything.” Semi spotted a stray ramen seasoning packet. She opened it and sniffed it before adding it to the pot. She tasted it, not bad. “We don’t have any vegetables other than kimchi.” Semi frowned. “Kimchi doesn’t expire, right?”
“Well, everything expires, but kimchi is fermented, so it shouldn’t go bad quickly. Why? How old is it?” Junhee asked.
Semi looked at the jar. It smelled fine and didn’t have any mold. “Like two years? Namgyu’s mom gave it to us when he moved in.”
Junhee stared at her. “Two years? Did you just say two years?”
Semi ate a piece from the jar, it tasted fine. “I think so.” Semi shrugged. “No idea. I’ve never made kimchi; I don’t know how, and I doubt anyone else knows how to make it.” Maybe one of Subong’s ex-girlfriends, Semi thought.
“Did your mom never teach you?” Junhee asked.
Semi played with her lip ring. How was she supposed to respond to that?
Junhee walked over and rubbed her back. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—that was careless of me.” She sniffled. “Please don’t be upset.”
Semi smiled. “It’s okay, and you don’t cry. I’m fine.” She patted Junhee’s back.
Junhee looked down at the floor. “I don’t usually cry this much; I hate it. It’s like everything is sad.”
Semi shrugged. “Not your fault; it’s the pregnancy chemicals.”
Junhee wiped her eyes on her sleeve and nodded. “You’re right.”
Semi turned around. “I’ll add some extra ramen packets and noodles.”
Junhee stepped away from Semi. “I’m not supposed to eat a lot of salt.”
Semi pulled three packets of noodles out. “I’ll just add one and a half seasoning packets. Everyone else can just deal with it.”
Junhee smiled. “Thank you.” She looked at the pot. “Is that enough noodles for everyone?”
Semi pulled some of the microwavable rice from the cabinet and set it on the counter. “We have rice too.”
Junhee walked over. “I can make those.”
Semi picked them up and placed one in the microwave. “Don’t worry about it. I’m cooking.” She held out the spoon to Junhee. “Taste this.”
Junhee tasted the soup. “It’s not bad.”
Semi tasted it. “It’s not good either.”
Junhee chuckled. “It’s edible.”
Semi smiled. “True. She stirred the pot; it was sort of fun to cook.