Proper Life

Technically this chapter takes place in between If It's Meant to Be and First Year, hence the chapter title, but it's out of chronological order for dramatic effect.

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Lily yawned as she awoke on a dull Tuesday morning to silence. Glancing over at her clock she was rather surprised at this, since her son normally would have awoken hours ago and demanded his feeding. Stretching and getting leisurely to her feet, she dressed anyways and prepared herself for her work as she trotted down into the kitchen and beamed at what she found.

James was bouncing around, going from spoon feeding Harry and prepping up breakfast. She leaned against the door jam for a moment and continued smiling indulgently at the scene even as he glanced up and lit a mirror smile of his own.

"You look beautiful love." He greeted her in this exact same way every morning no matter how she ascended the stairs, and it never ceased to cause a warmth to spread through her. He continued while turning back to the stove "I've got everything taken care of, so don't you even worry. You enjoy your first day back in the office."

Her stride over to him and the kiss she planted on his cheek was as natural as breathing as she took her seat and allowed him to lay out a lovely breakfast in front of her. The two had a very pleasant chat as she quickly ate her meal before noting it really was time for her to head out. The couple exchanged one more loving embrace and Lily couldn't help but give her precious little HareBare a kiss on the forehead as well, as he ate the last spoonful of his own breakfast.

His wild black hair was already as flyaway as his father's, the toothless grin he gave her for the attention just as endearing. Having been on maternity leave for the whole of his life so far, it felt almost wrong to leave him now. What on earth was she to do all day with herself without her son? James wasn't giving her much time to dwell on it, he was now shooing her to the fireplace and insisting he could handle it and who was she to argue?

She had a rather hectic day at work, being gone for so long had put her well behind in a mountain of paperwork, and she was more than happy for her lunch break when their bright orange Screech Owl Click appeared with unmistakable handwriting.

As the clock dulled out its final tone and Lily scooped up her remaining work papers, she barely acknowledged her coworkers' goodbyes as she bustled back to her exit and popped back into her house, wiping soot off and already calling out, "James?"

She seemed to have startled their cat, Hickory. His bushy brown tail disappearing under the couch at her sudden appearance the least of her concerns.

"Sorry Lil, but I really don't think I look that much like him," came a familiar voice from the kitchen.

Lily turned on the spot and raised a brow at Sirius, at her table, eating a sandwich and looking without a care in the world as he flipped through a copy of the Daily Prophet. To be perfectly honest she was more surprised than anything not to see Remus and Peter sitting there as well.

"Honestly Sirius, don't you have your own house to eat out of?" She demanded good-naturedly, not at all concerned by his presence and only saying this more because it would have been weirder for her to not ask this of him by now. Couldn't ruin a tradition after all.

Sirius' response was as predictable as her question as he told her, "sure, just not the same company. He's upstairs by the way, kid needed his diaper changed."

Even before he'd finished speaking, James's footsteps could be heard making their way back downstairs and as soon as he'd spotted his wife his smile grew all the wider and he hurried forward. Lily took a moment to embrace him before reaching out eagerly and taking up her son, cooing to him how much she'd missed him as she followed James back into the kitchen. "I loved your letter during lunch by the way," she informed him as she took a seat. "I don't care how many strange looks I received, how could I not laugh at that?"

"Glad you thought it was funny," Sirius sniffed, pushing his hair out of his face and putting on a vain front, then finishing on a wince and rubbing his shoulder as he said, "personally I think that's a bad omen for his future."

"Really Sirius? Coming from you that's pretty rich?" James demanded with a light smirk in place.

"Something happen?" Lily asked lightly, thinking back and wondering when the last time Sirius had been on a mission for him to get injured.

"Don't know," he shrugged without concern, "just woke up this morning with a bruise."

The cheerful conversation continued well into the night until Sirius excused himself to really head home to Remus, he needed to wake up and get back on a normal sleeping schedule anyways.

Granted no one could call their life perfect. The war against Voldemort was still in full swing, her family was in danger every day for fighting on the opposing side for what they felt was right, but it was their life, one full of loving friends and a lively son, so the most they could hope for was the life when it was all over.

16

Over seven months later and not much had changed. James had remained fairly inactive with the Order, what with staying home and taking care of Harry while Lily worked. Of course that never stopped him from going out with his friends and doing everything he could on the secretive missions, but even those he didn't deem dangerous enough to even bring his cloak out.

There was also the fact he spent whatever free time he had working on his own chosen career of designing model brooms. He mostly sketched and sent those in, and gave his opinion and advice about the different types of wood and twigs that should be used. As of right now he had only just started, but whatever he offered seemed to be gaining more attention with every model so it was unsurprising he was quickly gaining ranks.

Their happiness didn't seem destined to last however, as July began rolling around once more. Lily was busy poring over a guest list, adding up the numbers as she intended to invite the whole of the Order, and counting exactly how many extra guests that would cost as surely they would want to bring their own family. A light knock on the door alerted her to a present guest and she quickly put her quill down to go see.

From the heavily crooked nose to the long white beard, it only took Lily a glance to recognize Dumbledore, and she quickly welcomed him inside, instilling a warmth in her voice as she pleasantly noted the surprised visit. The mood began to dampen at once as she noticed his rather grave appearance.

He stepped inside easily, thanking her for the hospitality as she escorted him to the couch and offered him something to drink.

"A pot of tea might do us with some good," the Headmaster replied calmly. "I've something I must discuss with you both. Is James home?"

Lily couldn't help the note of unease rearing up in her as she glanced at her staircase where James was upstairs with their son before nodding and excusing herself to go fetch them.

The following haunting conversation where in Dumbledore was forced to inform them that he had a spy on Voldemort's side, unnamed for security purposes, informed him that Voldemort found their family a threat in particular and that they needed to go into hiding.

James tried his best to argue the point, stating, "but why us? What on earth could we have done to warrant this?"

Dumbledore was clearly hesitating, choosing his words very carefully as he stated, "you both made it clear at a young age what you thought of Voldemort's ways, his current Death Eaters from your own school years would have made that obvious to him. Before young Harry was born, in your few short years when you were full time active members of the Order you both collectively helped to round up nearly as many of his followers as he gathers. We may never know for certain why he chose you in particular above any others, perhaps because he finds you vulnerable with a child," he finished with a gentle smile at Harry who was now being clutched in Lily's lap.

James sat there with a twisted face, still looking like he might like to argue the point that he still didn't much like the idea of going into hiding without a more credible reason, but then Lily piped up, "What about Frank and Alice? They've had a son recently as well, are they being targeted to?"

"I'm afraid so," he sighed, and in that moment the spirited youth he normally showed seemed to dim all the more. "I have already spoken to them, as we speak they are making arrangements to go underground. I will suggest the same method to you as I did to them."

Here he waited, as if expecting more protest, but when James heard that the Longbottoms were going into hiding, it seemed to cowl himself. Recognizing that he really should put his family's safety first and foremost, no matter how little he thought of the threat itself. In fact, the more he thought about it, the more he agreed, like a voice whispering in his head this made perfect sense. So it was him who demanded, "and what security measures are these?"

Dumbledore looked a might bit better at their agreeing, and was quick to explain something that he was looking into. "It is known as the Fidelius Charm. Used back in Medieval Times to protect royals of a castle, the incantation has been lost with time. I'm currently on the search for it, but until then you should know that, simply put, it is a secret hidden inside a living soul. That individual is known as a Secret Keeper, and so long as this one person does not divulge the information, no one would know where you were."

James and Lily exchanged a look. The spell sounded fool proof to them, three more than trustworthy people coming to mind at once of who they would entrust this with. Yet it set off some deeply embedded warning bell...they glanced around their living room, a feeling of paranoia starting to rise. When neither of them raised a protest to this, Dumbledore continued, "but we shall leave the details of this for another time. For now, do you accept and agree that it would be safer to choose refuge?"

Their cat Hickory chose that moment to begin creeping towards the couch, and upon spotting Harry pounced onto the edge of Lily's seat and began playing his usual game of swatting his tail across Harry's line of vision. The nine-month-old squealed in delight and used his chubby little fists to clutch at the fur his fingers would just miss. This was something the parents had seen countless times now, but the peals of laughter it created from their son riled up something within them like never before. In that singular moment, they would have given the world to never lose this. They agreed to Dumbledore's plan.

Their old Headmaster hammered out a few details and informed them he would be back in a few hours, giving them a chance to pack up some essentials. James and Lily were left in the silence that followed, clinging to each other and more afraid than ever of the unknown future. Then James cleared his throat and offered his hand, helping his wife to her feet.

The couple made quick work of packing up a few essentials, James taking out the time to send three identical letters to his friends and explaining they needed to go and talk to Dumbledore as soon as possible to get details as they hadn't even been told where they would be headed. Then as he sent all of those off, he went upstairs and was fixing to go into their shared room when he hesitated in front of his son.

Harry was playing happily in his playpen while his mother was packing, but James's eyes were instead lingering on the wall opposite his son's crib. Hidden in a secret panel only the Marauders' and Lily's wands could open with the correct incantation was his most treasured object, his Invisibility Cloak. He had been considering this for quite some time, feeling almost selfish for hoarding this against the other members of the Order when he was letting it collect dust. Perhaps he should pass it along to Dumbledore now, give it some more use?

After mentally arguing this for a few more moments he nodded in a decision and marched over, tapping the panel lightly and muttered, "Dissendium!"

The light blue wallpaper slid out of place only to reveal an empty space.

He felt a tingling feeling crawling up his spine for a moment, an echo of something he really should have known, but instead called out casually, "Lily, do you have my cloak?"

"No dear," she called back patiently, "haven't touched it, I knew you'd want to pack it."

James swallowed hard for a moment, brushing his hand through his hair as he cast his mind around, trying to remember the last time he'd had it. October, he thought, sometime to do in October...the thought was gone as soon as he tried to grab it and he huffed in frustration and turned around, hand on his hips to give a mock glare at Harry and say, "well, that just leaves you son, what'd you do with it?"

The baby made a gurgling noise at the attention, lifting his hands up and demanding he be held now.

James couldn't help the indulgent smile as he did as requested, and then spent the time sweeping every inch of his house before finally in utter exasperation crying, "Accio Invisibility Cloak."

To his utter astonishment the cloak came sweeping out from on top of the bookshelf? He caught it easily in his hand and ran the material through his fingers for a few moments in disturbed thought.

He had no memory of the cloak being anywhere near there, no knowledge as to why it would be moved at all? Perhaps it was a prank from one of his friends, that wasn't out of the realm of possibilities... but still.

James went back upstairs, lost in thought, coming into the room where Lily was just zipping a bag closed when she spotted him. "Find it then? Where did you leave it?"

James might have answered, but in that moment as he just stood there staring at the love of his life no words managed to escape. Instead he came forward and wrapped his arm as tight around her as it could go, burying his face in her hair and just holding her to him, his son still cradled in his arm.

Lily responded instantly by wrapping her arms tight around his waist, pressing her face into his chest for a prolonged moment before leaning back slightly and whispering, "it's going to be alright James, I promise. Dumbledore's going to make it alright." Then she hesitated and James made sure to glance down at her face when she suddenly switched to a teasing tone of voice, "Perhaps this is slightly my fault anyway? I really should have started dating you sooner, then you wouldn't be as clingy?"

He managed to give her a wane smile he didn't really feel, still to wound up for the laugh he knew she needed in that moment, but he made an effort anyway. She gave him a kind kiss on the cheek before taking their son into her arms and smacking him lightly on the butt as she walked out of the room, scolding, "now make sure all your stuff is packed while I go get Harry's. It's just like you to spend an hour rummaging for your cloak when you probably knew where it was this whole time."

They were set up in a little cottage in Godric's Hollow. Only James's most trusted friends from school were allowed to visit, and even those began to grow less frequent as the Order kept them so busy.

Sadly Harry's first birthday came and went, not nearly the indulgent party the parents had been planning, but a simple quiet dinner.

Sirius, Remus, and Peter seemed so busy with the Order of late the only thing keeping James from going stir crazy was Lily and Harry. He still designed in his spare time, but was no longer allowed to send in his work for fear of it being traced back.

Their most frequent visitor turned out to be Bathilda Bagshot. She was a fascinating old thing with all the most interesting stories, Lily's favorites being about Dumbledore himself. They couldn't believe her stories claiming Dumbledore and Grindelwald were friends, and they laughed about her mixing up names in her old age.

In the third week of October, Dumbledore came to visit again, saying he'd finally found the enchantment that was to guarantee their safety, and they refused it.

Like a little niggle in the back of their mind one just couldn't reach, they let the feeling guide them to believe this spell just couldn't be trusted, something would go wrong. They'd move as often as they needed to, telling only Dumbledore and their three friends as need be, and even that had been argued.

"Lily, I can't just never speak to them again!"

"I know that James," she whispered, closing the door to Harry's room. Even at over fourteen months, she still didn't want him to have to hear his parents arguing. "I just, think for a moment dear, please. We agreed to go into hiding without a second thought because something's wrong, I know you feel it too! I think we should be careful about who we tell-"

"We can trust our friends!" James snapped. He refused to show the worry sprinkling his own mind, but instead latched onto one very clear feeling living inside of him. He didn't know where it had come from, or why, but whatever his friends had done in the past to make him even consider for a moment going along with Lily would be ignored, and he'd shove every instinct trying to tell him otherwise as far away as need be, and same to anyone else who tried to tell him otherwise.

Surely she was just being paranoid, the war was putting a strain on them all so this was rather normal. She never could have put into words her underlying fear. Something about that cloak being moved without either of their knowledge, something about that little bit of paper that Sirius had once found she couldn't shake, it seemed to have made their paranoia ramp up a few degrees, so Lily knew she'd much rather be safe than sorry...but she wanted to believe as badly as him nothing was going to happen, so she didn't bring it up again.

Halloween came and went, and each tried to calm themselves, nothing had happened. They sat together in the living room that night together until the clock struck midnight, and it was the first of November.

16

November 13th, 1981

He called the meeting to a close, and sighed as he spent an extra hour consulting with a few members of the Order who had more questions. As always he tried his very best to give tactful and explainable reasons how he couldn't divulge his source, and kept a lingering eye on a few whom he wouldn't have trusted with the answer anyways.

It had been just over a week since both the Potters and the Longbottoms had gone into hiding, and tensions were beginning to run higher than normal. Their numbers were continuing to disappear. The McKinnon's Massacre had struck a hard cord inside of them all, the Prewett Twins had a very close call and were only saved by Alastor Moody having chosen to accompany them on that particular foray. He'd lost his right leg and hadn't been able to attend the meeting, but at least he was still alive and could easily survive with a prosthetic. Amelia Bones and Benji Fenwick had left the meeting muttering about how they thought their next job felt more like a suicide mission by this point. Something needed to change, and soon, or the spirit of the Order would be in real danger.

He noticed Remus and Peter lingering in the corner, so he quickly finished reassuring Caradoc Dearborn that the fullest security measures were already in place and his family was as safe as any before going over to the clearly squabbling pair.

"-haven't been around in months, except for the meetings, what's gotten into you, Peter?" Remus was clearly badgering. Dumbledore couldn't help but notice how pale the poor man looked, he seemed to be getting thinner by the day. He felt pity well up in him when he reminded himself he'd gotten a new lead on something he would like Remus to catch up on.

"I, just, you'll understand, you have to," Peter was babbling, reaching up to wipe a bit of sweat from his lips. "I really think you should go on this mission Remus, it'll be good for you to, get away."

Remus did not look convinced, and was clearly reluctant to let it go. It was so tempting though... "Well, look, promise not to tell anyone I'm leaving, alright? I'll be back soon, before they even notice I hope-"

Upon noticing Dumbledore's approach, Peter muttered something inarticulate before scuttling out the door, not seeming to notice Remus' confused look he left behind.

"Is everything alright Remus?" he inquired quietly.

The man sighed, slumping back against the wall and resting his eyes for a moment before opening them and straightening back up to face his old headmaster. "Yes sir, but as you know Peter's mother's still very ill, and I think it's putting that extra strain on him. He's been so out of it lately, it's like I hardly know him." He cut himself off by glancing back towards the stairs, but shook his head and turned back when Dumbledore continued speaking.

"How are Lily and James doing? And Sirius?"

"Alright," he sighed, pushing his hand through his hair in clear frustration. "James and Sirius are bored out of their mind, they feel they're not doing enough to help anymore and it's taken everything I've got to keep them put. I have to remind them every day it's too risky for them to go running around in their current positions." He paused to give Dumbledore a sweeping look, but the man remained as neutral as ever, so releasing a blistering sigh he continued, "I'm sure Frank and Alice feel the same."

"They do," he acknowledged. Thankfully Dumbledore had convinced them that he should be their Secret Keeper, but all this meant was that they had even fewer visitors. Then again, if Dumbledore had his way in the beginning, James and Lily wouldn't have any either. Dumbledore shook his head sadly to get back on track, stating, "If you'd rather stay closer to home, I do understand. Your work with the other werewolves is tenuous at best-"

"No," Remus said with determination. "I, think I need to get away for a bit. I just, don't feel I'm doing much good here," he finished with one last uneasy look at the stairs. Peter would come around, James kept saying so. Not to mention Sirius was still waiting for an answer, one Remus didn't feel he could ever give, and it was only putting further strain between them. He wouldn't normally imagine leaving now, but he could not shake this feeling there was an answer for him out there, one that would offer some bit of hope. With so many questionable looks between those he'd once called friends lately, surely it would be best to get away. Besides, Halloween had come and gone, and nothing had happened. This paranoia was sure to fade. "This place in Armenia, it, sounds like a good lead. I'll leave tonight sir."

"I wish you luck finding it to be true," Dumbledore said sincerely.

"You promise not to say anything about this to James and Sirius?" Remus pleaded. "I, don't want to get their hopes up."

"Theirs, or yours?" He returned kindly.

"Goodnight sir," he replied calmly and quietly, acknowledging him with a bow of his head before making his own leave and heading out.

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry remained fairly quiet during the school holidays, most all of the teachers having families to go home to during the summer with a few exceptions who kept a permanent residence at the school much like Dumbledore himself. He calmly escorted himself through the silent halls and remained up for several hours yet, supposedly working on paperwork, but truly lost in thought over those in his care, and not just his current students anymore. He longed to save them all, but feared it was not meant to be.

16

"-be anymore careful! James, I can't take this anymore," Sirius sighed in frustration as he continued twirling the mirror irritably in his hands.

He heard the same sigh of frustration even as James said, "I know Pads, you think I'm enjoying this either? What can we do though, we've given Dumbledore every argument in the book and he still won't budge."

"When I agreed to go into hiding, we were being paranoid loons! Now I want back out! Prongs, I mean I really can't take this anymore. I'm going stir crazy cooped up here with nothing to do! Can't I come over to your place for a bit? We'd at least be laying low together." He persisted, hoping if he just kept saying it someone would agree with him.

His best friend made an irritated noise, clearly just as annoyed by this whole situation, but then there was a lingering silence and his voice instead called out, "Lily, you alright?"

"Everything okay?" He said at once, finally flipping the mirror upright so he could study James profile more properly.

James was frowning at something behind him, hesitating for a moment too long before saying, "Lily's been in the bathroom a while, and I think I just heard her throwing up. Merlin if she's sick, I really am going to lose my mind around here. Let me go check on her, I'll get back to you in a bit."

Sirius called out a goodbye he wasn't sure his friend heard as he dejectedly put the mirror to the side and slumped back on the couch. He'd never been more bored in his life, and the more hours that passed in this manner the more he was sure he was actually losing his mind. Merlin he'd go on a killing spree at this rate just for some action.

He hadn't realized he was dozing off until a harassed knock on the door jolted him upright. Wand clenched tightly in his fist at once, he edged over to the door and pressed his ear to it for a moment before whispering a spell. Whoever was on the other side must have passed the odd test, because Sirius then lost all tension as he cracked the door open further and then fully smiled and stepped aside to allow Peter in.

"Hey Pete, long time no see!" He said enthusiastically, quickly closing the door behind him and all but bounding over to his long time friend. Merlin at this point he would have taken Severus making an appearance for some company.

Peter on the other hand didn't look nearly as energized, but instead rocked backwards on his heels as he eyed Sirius wearily. Sirius downright refused to allow his friends constant sallow nature of late to ruin his good mood now, grabbing up a pair of drinks and pressing one into the others hand as he persisted, "What's been going on? How come you seem to only just now remember where I am this week?"

Peter fidgeted with the bottle cap for a moment before popping it off and taking a long drag before beginning cautiously, "You doing alright Sirius?"

"Absolutely not," he scoffed, mimicking his actions and taking an even longer drink. "Feel like I've been locked up in a prison for years! Why do you look like crap?" He persisted, then his smile began to finally flicker away when he saw Peter flinch and avoid his eyes. "Peter what's wrong?" He demanded now, setting the bottle down and crossing his arms for emphasis.

"Got some bad news Padfoot," Peter sighed, flipping the cap between nimble fingers for a distraction as he continued, "and I'm not sure how you're going to take it. Remus around?"

"No," he replied slowly, trying to keep all notes of strain out of his voice in concern for any number of bad things this could be leading up to. "He's been around nearly as often as you, bloody wankers, the both of you."

Peter began fidgeting then, his muscles starting to shiver so much his finger missed a step and the bottle cap clattered to the floor. Neither of them made a move to pick it up, and the silence seemed likely to drag on forever before Sirius lost his patience and snapped, "spit it out will you, the suspense will kill me faster than the news."

"Your brother's dead," he blurted nearly at the same time as Sirius had spoken.

Sirius blinked once, twice, then swallowed hard before simply saying, "oh." Then he shook his head roughly and turned on the spot to pad over and pick his bottle back up, finishing it in one long pull.

"I'm sorry Sirius," Peter sighed, and a glance over showed him running his hand through his hair in frustration. "It seems to have happened a while ago, but we've only just gotten the news. I felt like I should be the one to tell you. I know you two didn't get along well, but..." he trailed off and shuffled his feet awkwardly, still not really meeting the others eyes.

"S'alright Pete," Sirius finally sighed, turning back around and shrugging, trying his very best to put a devil may care smile back in place. "Knew those were his odds with the idiot deciding to join up Voldemort's team. Thanks for coming to me though, know you did it as soon as you could."

Now Peter really didn't meet his eyes, casting his own to the ceiling and white knuckling the bottle in hand. Wondering for a moment if Peter thought he was mad at him for some insane reason, Sirius kept up the high bravado, even if it was getting shakier by the minute. "Really, it's alright. Can't say I don't feel bad, but it's hardly a surprise either. Kind of stopped thinking about Regulus bout the time I started considering you lot my brothers," he finished with an amused chuckle.

To his dismay, Peter's lower lip actually began to quiver, like he was going to suddenly burst into tears. Sirius took a concerned step towards him, wondering if this wasn't perhaps all the bad news on the table, but then Peter suddenly blurted, "Sirius I-" then he bit his lip as if forcefully cutting off some deep rooted secret.

Taking a stab in the dark, Sirius decided, "hey, how about you go over and see James and Lily for a while."

Peter placed his bottle down and said quite suddenly, "sorry Sirius, but I've really got to get back to work, just thought you should know. Stay here yeah, safe?"

"Peter, wait-" he called, but too late, as suddenly as he'd entered Peter had dashed right back out the door.

Sirius was left to stare vacantly at nothing, more hurt than anything at the abrupt departure, but after a few more beats of silence he got angry. How was it fair Peter got to come and go as he pleased? Remus was hardly any better, only coming around once in a blue moon now, literally. Even James had Lily and Harry to keep him occupied, while Sirius was left in this dungeon. Well, not anymore. If his own baby brother had gotten free range, even before his death, well he had even more of a right!

He slammed his drink down, and left his door open behind him.

16

"Peter, I wasn't expecting you toni- what's wrong?" James demanded.

Peter looked ashen, like he was about to be sick. He stood trembling in the doorway for only a second before James grabbed him forcefully over the threshold. "Peter, Wormtail, I mean it, what happ-"

Peter had to swallow convulsively, and didn't look him in the eyes as he whispered, "I think Moony's done something James. He was, talking about leaving the, the country-"

"James?" Lily called in concern from the kitchen, but he hardly heard her any more than he could keep breathing. It would have made more sense for his heart to flee right from his chest. "No, you, must have misunderstood-"

"I'm sorry," he whispered in pure misery, finally meeting his eyes.

"I, I'm going after him. He, he can't do this-", but stood rooted in place as he looked back at Lily, as she came out with Harry on her hip.

For the briefest second, a quiet voice tried to spin through his mind, a lie, but he didn't know what the truth was anymore. "Sirius, where's-"

"I tried there first," Peter was back to hardly stringing words together, he seemed in pain delivering this as much as James was hearing it. "He just took off then- I don't know what's happening with either of them anymore-"

She came to his side and took his hand, the two stood gazing at each other for several heartbeats, before she finally whispered, "go James."

"I shouldn't leave you here alone," he whispered automatically, but the heated adrenaline was already dumped into his system, he had to do something, find them, right now, before something irreversible happened.

"They need you more," she said without hesitation. "We'll be here when you get back, no matter what day it is."

"I love you," he'd said it so many times, and she still smiled every time.

"We love you too," she promised, giving him the moment he needed to lean down and kiss them both before running.

She knew he'd go to Dumbledore first, if anyone knew where to start looking for them, it would be him.

Lily was fighting back the impulse to go after him and the only thing stopping her was her son. Whatever had happened, she instinctively knew she could protect him.

She'd went up the stairs, and came back down with a bag over her arm. She was going to Alice and Franks for the night, she didn't feel safe alone in this house. Thankfully, it was that she dropped in surprise, and her son she clutched tighter to her upon seeing who was still here. "Peter!"

She loathed how frightened her own voice sounded, how her hand crept towards her pocket for her wand upon seeing him. "I, I thought you would have, gone with James- Wha- what are you doing here?" She could have sworn she'd seen him leave with James...but he was now staring about the house, as if trying to memorize its every texture rather than look at her.

It sank in like slowly moving poison, reaching each muscle in her with a new jolting spike of ice. She couldn't help but take a step farther away from him, heart pounding so hard it almost drowned out her own reasoning. Had he really thought they'd both leave, or did he just not care, so long as the lie got his own friend out of the house. Had he ever really cared about her? Harry? She watched his face the entire time, the guilt in his watery brown eyes as he wrung his hands.

She did react then, but had not managed to raise her wand before he'd drawn his own and cried, "Expelliarmus!"

She met his eyes as her wand flew right to his hand. "I'm sorry Lily," he told her with genuine remorse, holding it as tight as his own as the door began to open again.

16

Again James found himself standing before an old house with a creepy legend around it, but this wasn't the Shrieking Shack, and they weren't thirteen anymore.

Thankfully he found the house just before dusk was about to fall. After having searched the little village for any of the signs of werewolf in-habitation he came across a local who explained where he should go to really ask the questions. Both equal amounts of curious and weary for what this could mean, James came across an isolated cottage on the very outskirts of town and took a few moments just to stand there and observe it.

Dumbledore had been very evasive about the whole thing, and only at James' pure panic did his headmaster relent where he knew Remus would be. It made no sense, if Remus was running, why would he be here? Moony had no connection to this village, let alone on a full moon tonight, risk being so close to so many innocent people. Dumbledore had still tried to tell him not to come, and it frustrated him down to his core to realize someone was lying to him. If Sirius was after Remus too though, and he had to be there was no other explanation, surely he'd be along soon...

He just needed to look Remus in the eyes. He'd know what was going on for sure, then he could go home to Lily and Harry and finally shake away the last of this nonsense from himself for good.

He approached openly, having no intentions of looking for a fight, until he got right up to the door and heard a noise inside. A choking noise, a muffled spluttering as if someone were being smothered, then an unfamiliar voice say, "almost done Remus, we should see some results as soon as-" and that was all he heard before the door was blasted off its hinges.

James bounded through the doorway, wand raised sighting the threat at once. An elder man tried to turn on the spot, but James was already reacting faster.

A man was stepping away from Remus, a smoking goblet clutched in his hand. There was hardly a second of remorse in James as he realized he was unarmed, stunning him before he'd taken five full steps away from Remus, chained to the wall.

"Remus are you okay?" He yelped, at his side in an instant and attempting let him free in pure fury. "What on earth's happening?"

Remus had remained frozen, he'd seemed too stunned by the entrance to react much at all, but now he shook his head fiercely and snarled, "what did you do?"

James didn't seem to be paying much attention, he was tapping his wand in every way he knew possible to try and release the chains pinning him to the wall.

"No, you don't understand!" Remus howled, and some energy really seemed to be returning to him now as he began fighting, but then his leg lashed out and it seemed his goal was to get his friend away from him as he continued, "you set him right, I need him to finish!"

James just stood there for a moment, flabbergasted and unable to think of a single thing to say to that, before his eyes landed on the cup in disgust. "What was in this?" He muttered of no one now. Then he looked up to take in the rest of the room fully.

It was obviously a workshop, Lily had one just like it. Potion ingredients, some of which he didn't even recognize, lined the shelves, bits of parchment were neatly stacked along a desk that had piles of textbooks on it, and a cauldron was bubbling merrily in the corner. He carefully padded over and investigated the potion from as far away as possible.

"Should probably take some back," he sighed, before looking down in disgust at the still stunned man, "I'm sure Lily could figure out what it is."

His skin crawled with unease as Remus shouted behind him, "would you listen to me, I'm trying to tell you- that's not supposed to happen! He thinks he fixed it. I'm not going to transform!"

There was a ringing silence left over from that, James staring him down and trying to decide if this was more effects by whatever he'd been forced to drink.

"Just let him back up," Remus pleaded, throwing his head towards the last man pleadingly, "his wand's over there by the cauldron, so's mine. He'll explain better than I could, but I'm telling you, he thinks he's fixed it and I believe him."

James ruffled his hair and began pacing uneasily, this was not what he needed right now! This was the absolute most distracting, best news he ever could have heard for him, but he needed to get back home to Lily.

"Prongs, trust me, please, there's not much time," Remus begged.

His mind seized on that, he wondered if he'd blacked out for a moment. He did trust Remus, of course he did- before he realized what Remus meant. The full moon would rise, very soon now.

"Alright, alright," he breathed, wishing more every second Sirius was here. He'd be with Lily by now though, surely. He kicked himself all the way to the desk, grabbing up the two wands and wishing he'd listened to Padfoot about needing to get out. Now he'd gone and run off for some air, pre-full moon spirit was perfectly understandable- but surely he'd be with Lily by now himself. Asking where James was, he'd probably pop in here any second.

"Worth getting his word on why he's doing this," James said aloud, "it's not like we can really do anything to him anyways. What's the Ministry really going to care if we take this to them. They won't bat an eye someone doing experiments on a werewolf."

Remus didn't look particularly relieved this was his line of thinking, but watched eagerly as a flash of light lit the place and the man unfroze.

Having been conscious but unable to speak this whole time, the man sat up and began speaking at once. James noticed for the first time he seemed to have a hair lip, and between that and the thick accent, it was hard to follow.

"Please, I am not trying to hurt your friend, just the opposite. I believe there's something, a potion I've deemed Wolfsbane. Now the effects have only been tested once before, and Remus here has agreed to try it himself-"

"So you've got him chained to a wall, yeah that's real complacent," James snapped.

"That was my idea," Remus butted in, "in case it doesn't work, I wanted some barrier encase something went wrong."

The man nodded in complete agreement, "please, I mean no harm, I only wish to help. My sister, she was bitten many years ago, I only wish to find some way to help."

"You say this worked once before?" James probed, eyes still narrowed suspiciously, "any chance it's a local so I can confirm that?"

"Please, your friend, he spoke too soon, so far the results are not a cure. It is a sort of temporary fix, he seems more capable of keeping his mind so long as he drinks the potion the week of the full moon. He comes tonight though, and I hope it will still do him some good. The man before, he is no longer around, just a traveler as so many werewolves are. A blond man, he came seeking these same questions, and he helped me how to make this potion. There are rumors of a book, but I don't know-"

"Okay," James waved him off, "I get it, you had some help."

Neither of them seemed to notice the small smile that had appeared on Damocles's face upon this topic, Remus was already trying to pick up where the other man had left off. "Belby here, he just wants to help. The stuff tastes awful, but if it really works, even a little...Prongs please, just let me try this."

James wasn't at all pleased someone was playing guinea pig on his friend, but what could be done? Remus was already doing it, all he could do now was wait. After agreeing as much out loud, Remus finally relaxed against the wall.

He couldn't leave now, and loath though he was to share this secret with anyone who wasn't his best friend or married to, he also couldn't leave the innocent man here without protection. He said without a trace of argument he was going to stay as an animagus, and Damocles looked like he was about to wet himself with pleasure for the idea of being able to study such an interaction.

When the moment came, at first James thought nothing had changed. He knew the transformation as well as Remus as many times as he'd seen it happen.

Remus doubled into himself, groaning and straining as fur began to sprout, his whole body began morphing in the most painful way possible. True to his prediction, the werewolf was in fact powerful enough that he wrenched himself free of the wall on his own, but even as an enormous stag stood in his way, he recognized there was one thing in particular that was different this time. His eyes were the same.

Moony stood quivering on all fours, but they were familiar green eyes that scanned his surroundings. His muzzle twitched, his ears pressed flat back and his tail tucked underneath himself as he backed into the wall, his usually powerful limbs giving out and he collapsed onto his belly.

Prongs came forward, nuzzling him all over and circling around him and occasionally shoving his head encouragingly against his hide.

"Fascinating," Belby whispered, staying tucked away in his little corner behind his desk, even as he kept peeking out to scoop up a loaded quill and parchment. "Truly remarkable, all markers show he's taken his change, but there's no indication whatsoever of the true beast."

He continued jotting down notes the rest of the night in this same manner, but the other two didn't pay him much mind. Prongs never once strayed farther than a foot from Moony's side, more than once reaching over and playfully nuzzling his companion as if to reassure him. Perhaps his friend's presence may have been a factor, but Damocles didn't really seem to think so as he continued noting other things about how complacent the wolf was. As far as he could tell, there wasn't true intelligence present as there was with the animagus, but the wolf seemed in mind enough to be harmless and curl away in the corner.

James wasn't as entirely convinced. As had been warned, the potion was only dampening the effects of the werewolf before him. He was still acting rather aggressive to the stranger in the corner, it was very clear if his long time pack-mate wasn't here he would have long since lunged towards him, but this same one that Moony knew so well also kept him just the slightest bit cowed like he'd never been before. He recognized Prongs, truly seemed to look at him and merely paced the floors with anger, but didn't fight back. If this was how he'd reacted now, how docile would he be after a full round of the potion?

When the moon finally began waning again and Remus appeared, James hardly knew what to feel anymore. That had to be hands down the most boring full moon of his life, and he couldn't be more pleased!

Remus groaned as he fully came to, blinking sluggish eyes for a moment before his surroundings came back to him and he grinned lazily, whispering, "hope nothing too exciting happened."

James couldn't help but chuckle lightly as he bent down and helped Remus carefully to his feet, helping him dress in their familiar way from years of practice, before embracing him and responding, "don't worry, you've always been the boring one, we'll still keep you around."

He spent a brief moment to let Moony stay leaning against the wall, trying to force his eyes to stay open. James came back over quickly, stuffing a bit of parchment into his robes, Remus knowing it to be the list of ingredients and how to create it. Then James roped Remus's taller frame around him and began making for the door, fully intending to take Remus home for a good nap now.

"Where's Sirius?" Remus slurred, but growing more awake by the moment as he saw in James the fear stemming from his core he couldn't shake even in the wake of such happiness for his friend. The night's events had been so fantastical, but it hadn't quite made him forget why he'd originally come here.

"I don't know," James admitted, "Peter, Peter said he-"

It clicked in his mind, and he wished with all his heart he could take back what clunked into place. Dumbledore hadn't lied, but he knew who did.

16

"Did you say Black? As in Sirius?" Bellatrix confirmed.

"Yes mam, him," he ducked his head low. "You ah, killed the last bloke who said his name, I didn't know how-"

"Where is he you idiot?"

"He was spotted at Grimmauld place madam, having quite the argument with his parents. One of our spies watching the house, waiting for Regulus's return ma'am, saw him go in, and he hasn't come out yet. What, what shall we do ma'am?"

Bellatrix's face slowly bent into that of a child who'd just been promised a new toy. She hardly glanced at Rodolphus before purring, "bring him here."

In a spectacular moment even he himself would find hard to describe later, Sirius allowed himself to get caught to find a Death Eater stronghold, and then proceeded to do what he did best, cause chaos. He'd meant to leave them like that, blood thirst as avenged as it could be for the cretins who had let him die, when Sirius gazed at the wailing child in the unconscious woman's arms, and all he could see was Regulus, the boy he'd failed. He wouldn't let that happen again.

"Get away from my son!"

Sirius didn't hear, nor care. He scooped up the babe, leaped out the window, and vanished, appearing in front of the Potter's temporary house in Godric's Hollow without even realizing that's where he'd intended to go, but he needed his best friend. James would understand, he couldn't abandon another to the life Regulus had died in.

He looked up from the cherub face, and felt his heart drop out of him at the ruined house before him.

He finally understood the note, found in his pocket so long ago, that had tried to warn him of this moment.

It had simply said; Don't go after him.

Time

"Wish it didn't have to happen this way," Harry had whispered to their sleeping forms. He watched for one more moment that would never last his lifetime before accepting Hermione's hand even as he tucked the note securely into his godfather's pocket without her seeing. "I'm sorry Sirius..."