Satisfaction isn’t Happiness
Cover art for "Can we love again?"
Narcissus and Lilies
A quaint little shop left behind by Aunt Andy. It has fallen to me ever since she had been admitted to St. Mungos. Flowers have always surrounded me. I love the scents, the sights, the colours. The way the light of the sun streams through the petals around me. This shop is my home, my heart, and soul. And I love it, the simplicity, the routine, and-.
“Lavenders?”
Startled, the purple pen makes a slight slash mark across the small leaf I doodled on my left forearm. I cap the pen, looking up at the raven-haired man in front of me.
The lopsided grin, milk chocolate skin, and bright emerald green eyes, framed in round black glasses greet me as I gaze shyly, peeking out behind strands of platinum blond hair that have fallen out of my short braid.
“Forget-me-nots, actually,” I reply, as I lean behind the counter. Harry chuckles, leaning the broom against the wall and picking up the steel watering can. Two girls hiding behind flower displays giggle and whisper. Oh, teenage love.
Harry is one of the reasons the shop is still running. Ever since he started helping out, the girls all come here to gossip and giggle. Boys see girls through the window, and they buy them flowers, most of the time. But the shop is up and running so I’m not complaining if it’s used as a hangout.
Little do they know he’s taken already….
“Harry, you’re overwatering the Lilies.”
The bell above the door rings.
“Dracoooooo!” I turn, there I see my best friend of years. She hugs me, her bushy brown curls bouncing everywhere in a haze of sweet peach and creme scented conditioner.
“You free? I’m heading for some drinks tonight, and I think you should come! There’ll be some cute guys there~!”
I giggle, the A honor student of 1st year was long gone and replaced with a bold and bad Hermione Granger. Smart and sassy, or at least those are her words. Mine? Well, I’m just glad my friend finally let herself go.
If only I could do that…
“Sorry, Mione but I’ve got plans,” I say pushing her playfully. She pouts, poking my cheek.
‘But you never~ spend time with me anymore,” She whines, and I roll my eyes,
“We hung out yesterday at your flat remember?” I poke her back and she sticks her tongue out at Harry when he butts in,
“I’ll be stealing your ‘BFF’ tonight little sis,” Harry’s family had adopted Hermione when she was just born. Since Lily Potter had been cursed after her first pregnancy the Potter family had adopted 2 other children making Harry the oldest of 3.
“Ugh, are you guys going bike riding again?” She turns to me, eyebrow raised.
I look away and respond, fiddling with a leaf on a nearby orchid. “Well, the moon is full and it’s quite nice out, and we haven’t able to hang out much since-” Harry cuts me off,
“Ah, Ginny’s here! Give me a moment guys, I have to go give Gin a quick goodbye before she leaves town for her tryout.” He says as he heads off, already out the door.
Hermione turns to me, “Ugh thank Merlin, she never tries to hang out with us ever since she started dating Bhai and got onto the quidditch team. I missed the old Ginny!” She eyes me, knowing that I know exactly what she means. I’m not new to the game after all, but she isn’t new to mine either. My game of pretend. (Bhai- means brother in Hindi)
“I know Herm, you’ve told me before. But you know how stressed she is with the Quidditch tryouts and such- And she still makes Harry happy, that’s all that matters!”
“C’mon Dray, you can’t honestly say she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to him now can you?” I look away, back at the window where two men walk hand in hand crossing a street. One leans his head against the other’s shoulder and the men share a small smile.
For a moment, I see the two morph into Harry and myself. Harry smiling down at me as I lean on him, tired from the day’s work. He turns to place a small kiss on my forehead, gently brushing away my blonde locks, and I tilt upwards-
“A-Are you sure you don’t want to come with me tonight? It’ll be fun!” Hermione’s voice leads me away from my dangerous daydreams. Her coffee-colored eyes are filled with concern, and I nod already looking away.
“It’s fine, maybe next time.” She shakes her head fondly, muttering, her lips tilting upwards.
“You say that every time, yet…”
“Yet I stay here, where I belong. In my home, where I’m happy!” I cheerfully try to pull her from the rabbit hole she always tries to pull me into.
“I just want you to be happy, Dray. Remember that.”
“I am happy, Mione.”
“Satisfaction isn’t Happiness, Malfoy…” I roll my eyes, and poke her nose.
“Whatever Granger, besides I do go out sometimes. And I live upstairs! I don’t sleep behind the counter!”
“I mean that one time…”
“That was one time, Hermione! Once! And you and Harry won’t let it go!”
“Alright alright, but if you change your mind, do call me ok? Speaking of calls, I gotta go make one! Love you Dray~!”
“Love you too, May.” I laugh, calling her a name that she had hated ever since preschool. She wiggles her fingers in goodbye, and I echo back.
Sighing, I wrap up the shop for the day. Watering the last of the flowers, wiping off the counters, and rearranging bits and bobs. I look out the window and pause. Harry and Ginny stand outside. The ginger-haired girl standing close to Harry, her bare arms around his neck as they hug near her scooter. I look at them, the extravagant couple, who make big gestures and declarations.
Not the small things I imagine like leaning on each other at sunset. Things like ridiculously singing Indian songs I know Harry loves, and sweet songs in French that I know by heart.
I’m dreaming a hopeless fantasy, but as I stare at the man I know I have loved since I first knew I could love, I know it’s worth the pain.
Because midnight bike rides are the closest I’ll get.
I could never ruin what little I have.