Chapter 1
It's dark. Pitch black. Well, tinted blue, but that's the darkness in and of itself. You're not entirely sure where you are- Hold on, you are! In the void, that's where. You could try opening your eyes.
Were they even closed to begin with? Jeez, this is... too much to take in. You slowly open your eyes, and find yourself in a crowd, chock-full of people.
"Where... am I?" You mutter to yourself. Some people side-eye you for NO REASON, but fuck them. It feels like you're standing on grass. You are, actually. Where even are you? Before you could try gathering your own thoughts, you hear a voice coming from somewhere.
"Hello, all! Dis must be confusing, yes, but do not worry! I am Kalei, and I'll be here to help you all!" A man appears to be on some sort of c-shaped stage. Kalei was, for lack of better wording, elegantly dressed. He had white hair, like foam that caked a beach shore. He had... wings. Huh. An pattern surrounded his left eye.
He's clearly nervous. Reminds you of yourself, doesn't it? He's on the left side of the stage, and there looks like on the opposite side, there's another man.
"Late to work again, Kalei? Yeesh, your predecessors were a tad better than you at this. Hello, all, my name's Ramón. Call me whatever." He chuckled a bit afterwards.
"Zip it, will ya?" Kalei looked dead in Ramón's eyes, before turning to the crowd. "...Was dis ting on all dis time?" A few amused chuckles could be heard from the crowd, including your own. I mean, it WAS pretty humorous seeing what looked like an angel nearly tell a demon off.
"Anyways! Aloha everyone, and welcome to de garden! I know, I know, you all must be pretty confused, ya? Lemme-" Kalei was abruptly interrupted by a pretty smug looking Ramón.
"Us. You mean us. We will explain the situation. You continue to be juuuust worse than your predecessors in every manner possible." Ramón feigned being offended for around 3 seconds before going back to his smug silence.
Without even bothering replying to Ramón, Kalei resumed. "You may be wondering where you are right now, ya? Like I said, dis is de garden. De Garden of Eden, of course. You are somewhere dat is not above nor below, but in de middle. It is quite rare for humans to end up here! The reasons are plenty, but y'know..."
Ramón interjected in the silence. "Here, I'll rapid fire the reasons. Any questions, to Kalei. Listless life, over indulgence, being morally gray, life ending too early, the list goes on."
You... zone out during the explanations. They're kinda boring. You're brought back to reality when you hear a scream.
"I'M DEAD?!" A woman dressed in an overly pink waitress dress yells out, looking mortified at the prospect. The person with a.. rabbit mask and ears or whatever joins in.
"Wait, shit, we are! What the fuck?" It's pretty obvious that everyone's kind of either angry or despaired. Eventually, someone sobbed, and from there on it was an entire sobfest. Except... you weren't feeling anything. Yeah, you're never going to see your friends and family, but who cares? Your family sucked, and you know for a fact your friends aren't going to ACTUALLY miss you... Wh- No, what are you thinking? Your family didn't suck. Jesus christ, girlie, what are you on? None the matter.
After a while of freaking out, another woman (okay this is getting kinda bad for your Lesbian Genes™) goes up to Kalei and asks. "Hey, how'd I die? Just... curious, is all." Apparently, that's Mitts.
"Well, you were dismantling a robot gifted to you by an associate for its AI system for a personal project when suddenly de machine went off and bit your hand off. You bled out, and no one could hear you because of your sound-proofed garage."
This went on for a while, and one of it's highlights were a random person asking: "Angel, please tell me, what'll become of my remains now that I'm dead?" They seemed genuinely curious.
Ramón interjected. "Well you're gonna be part of a sick Will Wood and the Tapeworms music video so that's cool."
"Oh..." That was funny, yeah. After that, the pink waitress girl went up and asked how'd she die. Oh shit that's... pretty grotesque. Apparently, a mishap with a gas leak that nobody noticed, and when the cook went to, well, cook, they blew everything up. Apparently, this girl's name is Rosita. The bunny-mask-whatever person's DJ Roadkill. That's ironic, actually. Died ran over by a cop during a protest. Oh well.
Eventually, you went up to Kalei and Ramón and asked. "Soooo... how'd I die?" Ramón looked at you with the straightest face possible while Kalei laughed nervously.
"No fucking clue. You don't know, we don't know, only God knows. In the literal sense."
"Oh that's really comforting! Totally. Yeah. I- Thanks, I guess..." You went back to whereever you were, looking extremely down.
When you get back, the only 3 people of note went up to you. Apparently, birds of a feather flock together, be it that the feather is standing out from the crowd one way or another.
"So, how'd you die?" Mitts was the first one to speak up.
"Yeah, c'mon, tell us! Surely it was a freakshow, just like her over here, right?" Roadkill pointed to Rosita, who looked... just as sad as you.
"It... wasn't my fault." Rosita sighed heavily, and slumped over, almost as if she had to carry the entire weight of the world on her back.
"First things first-" You coughed a bit. "I have no idea, nor do the angel or demon. Which is great news for me."
You accidentally made eye contact with Rosita for a bit, but turned away, and started speaking. "Hey, Rosita, was it? Cheer up, will you? Hurts me to see a pretty lady like you sad like this. Anyways, seems like Kalei has a last warning for us."
Kalei touches the microphone, and announces. "For all of dose that have made a choice already, follow either me or Ramón! If you're not set on anything yet, you can remain here in Limbo for a while! But dere IS a time limit."
Oh. That makes sense, yeah. "So, where are ya'll going?" You ask.
"I'm staying here in Limbo. Seems chill enough." Roadkill piped up, first.
"I'm going to Utopia, for sure, but I should scavenge enough stuff to tinker a bit up there. So, I'll stick with you guys for a while, yeah?" Mitts looked... unsure about it.
Rosita, meanwhile, just looked happy to be there. "I'll probably stay here in Limbo while you guys are!"
"...I guess I'll stay here, too. Why not?" You answer the wind.
"Let's get going, then. If I wanna find somewhere where the DJ in DJ Roadkill can actually work, I need to get moving. See ya'll later!" Roadkill ran off. That's awesome.
Mitts, you and Rosita stuck around for like... around 20 minutes, before Mitts said something about going to search for scrap pieces. She waves you both with her left hand, and walks off.
That leaves you... and the pretty woman Rosita.
"So, uhm, anywhere you wanna go in specific?" You ask her, just to... say something.
She looks around, curiously, before pointing to somewhere. "Look! A diner! We can go there, right?" She looked at you with near puppy-dog eyes. You can't say no to those.
"I... suppose we can, yes-" "YAAAAYYY!!!" She squealed, as happy as a child. She dragged you by the arm, and ran off with you to the diner. You catch a glimpse of two odd looking people in the corner of your eye, but surely, those aren't important. The diner looks... rather beat up, to say the least. Rosita thinks so too, but she doesn't say anything.
"Hey, I never actually introduced myself, did I?" You mentioned, even though Rosita was cooking something (dubiously, at that) in the back.
"Oh, yeah, we never did! You know my name, so it's mostly you introducing yourself to me!" She chuckles a bit, and you can hear Rosita making chop sounds.
"Well... I suck at these, but oh well. I'm Y/N, nice to meet'cha." You laid your head down on the counter, and stared silently at Rosita, as she made her way back.
"Hm... that's a pretty name, if I do say so myself! Nice to meet you!" As she says that, she immediately runs back, coming back quickly with a plate with... a burnt sausage and SOMETHING on it. "One Late Night Crunch for miss Y/N!" She seemed extremely excited, so... just play along with it.
"Oh. Thank... you... I think... What is this?" You ask.
"It's our night-time special! Sausages and hashbrown skillet! It got that name because it's suuuuuper popular with the college students. Legend has it, someone ate it every night, and got perfect scores in all their tests!" That's the usual waitress body language, that's for sure. "Although, it was probably made up just to sell more."
"Most likely. Oh well." You just shrugged, and chuckled.
"Doesn't stop it from being delicious! Dig in!" She said, as she sipped from an empty cup... You should probably do the same, and just fake eating it. You raise the fork to your mouth, but move it to the left, hiding it from her and looking like you ate it.
"Munch munch." You said out loud. "Tell the chef that it's delicious. For sure."
"I will!" She giggled... Why'd that giggle make your heart skip a beat? Nevertheless... this was fun. Roleplaying your life back on earth. You, a random costumer, and her, the waitress.
"Hey, can I get an extra soda with this?" You asked her, still playing along.
"Surely! Which one can I get you?" She got up, and prepared to give you her empty cup.
"The worst one. I want it to be baaaaaaaad." She laughed, you did too, and she ran over to the kitchen, made some 'pssssssshhhhhhhh' sounds, and came back with her own empty cup.
"Bottoms up, am I right?" You tell her, and chug the air down. Wow, the air in this place feels disgusting. What the Hell.
You two go on this back and forth, you acting as multiple customers at once, and her during her lunch rush. She was happy, and so were you. After a while, both of you were getting pretty sleepy, so, as anyone sleepy does, you both lay your heads on the counters and... go to sleep. It's uncomfortable, sure, but it's the best you can get. Atleast you're with Rosita.