Remus stared down at Sirius, an unreadable expression on his scarred face. It concerned the young animagus; he’s never seen Remus this worked up. Sirius hadn’t meant to cause any trouble. All Sirius wanted was to prank Snivillus, slimy greasy Snivillus. It was a mere prank; besides, Prongs had kept that git from being too close to call.
“What the ever loving fuck is wrong with you!” Roared Remus, “What went through your head! I could’ve been expelled-no-I could’ve become a killer, Sirius! What did you expect?”
“I-” Sirius tried.
“No Sirius! You can’t redeem yourself for this! He’s going to get me expelled. I hope you still find this funny now that we’re done. I can’t believe I ever trusted you.” With that, Remus left their dorm room.
Sirius hadn’t thought of the consequences when he informed Snape about the Shrieking Shack until he had to endure the rightfully deserved yelling from Remus. It’s been months since the prank, since Sirius has been banned from going with James and Peter. At least, Prongs and Wormtail were talking to him still, but it wasn’t the same as Moony-Remus-talking to him. Unfortunately, his friends had not warned him. They didn’t warn him he would find Moony, his Moony, on the common room couch sucking face with some Ravenclaw. Sirius couldn’t believe his eyes. He lost him. His heart was broken. It was difficult to process his partner was with someone else. Remus moved on. Why would he still love Sirius? Hopefully, for Sirius’ sake, he would go back to speaking terms with Padfoot.
After another full moon went by, Remus spoke up at dinner, “Sirius. Pass the potatoes, will you?”
His voice was distant, but Sirius handed the potatoes to his old friend. The look of shock hadn’t wiped off his face, but hope filled his chest. Maybe, just maybe, he could get his Moony back! He longed for the day he could wake up wrapped in Remus’ strong arms. Only the day hadn’t come as soon as Sirius assumed. Remus appeared to be serious about this Ravenclaw lad. Sirius despised this dumb git; all Sirius wanted was to feel Remus’ soft, slightly chapped lips against his own. He yearned to have that warmth back; however, all Sirius had left was a small polaroid James took of Sirius being kissed on the cheek by Remus. It was all he had left.
All of Remus’ promises were now broken. No small cottage in the woods after graduation. No more sweaty kisses after Quidditch. And no more sweet kisses after Sirius had chocolate. It stung. It felt as if Remus felt none of the same feelings. Sirius hated it. Remus acted as if they never loved each other. He didn’t even show he once held Sirius after nightmares. Sirius’ nightmares had only worsened throughout all of this; however, Sirius knew Remus. He was aware of how Remus acted when he didn’t feel complete. When he sat beside his boyfriend, hr appeared reserved, unhappy. Sirius just wanted their love to return.
Years later, long after Sirius and Remus got back together, a prophecy came to light. It sounded just like James and Lily’s baby, his own godson. Sirius couldn’t even trust the love of his life anymore. In fact, he wrongfully accused Remus of being the spy, leading to a terrible argument. Why? What wouldn’t Voldemort offer for a struggling werewolf in need. Once again, Padfoot was terribly mistaken when he put the Potters’ lives in Peter’s pudgy hands. Why would sweet, innocent Peter be the one to betray the marauders? Sirius would have never suspected that anxious lad to be the rat.
If only Sirius had been the secret keeper. James and Lily would have never been murdered. Sirius would rather die than become the reason for their tragic deaths; however, Sirius continued to blame himself. That day he showed up in Godric’s Hollow, holding onto his godson. He couldn’t believe he handed Harry and his motorbike over to Hagrid to go get rid of the true traitor.
That’s when Sirius Black came to his senses. His wild grey eyes darted across the dingy cell he’s lived in for the past twelve years through his long hair. He hated the hell the dementors put him through, but he felt he deserved being tortured because he blamed himself. Sometimes Sirius wanted to forget everything he’s been through with the marauders. He glanced up, seeing Cornelius Fudge.
“Fudge,” Sirius grunted gruffly, “done with the paper?”
The minister approached the edge of the cell, shocked at the normalness of Sirius’ behavior, “yes,” he responded.
“Can I have it?”
The minister tossed Sirius the paper. He examined the front cover, recognizing the redheaded family on the page. He had befriended Molly and Arthur during the whole wizarding war-what is that in the youngest boy’s hand? A rat… a rat missing a toe… why was it so-
Pettigrew.