'Study' Partners

‘Study’ Partners

Chapter 6

If anyone glanced behind the back of Three Queens college, they would have noticed a rather strange sight.

Two students of Three Queens, better known to the world as Crope and Tibbett, were standing against the wall. That wouldn’t have been strange in itself- only they were headstanding against it. They had been in this position for the past minute and a half.

Their faces were very flushed, which probably had something to do with the copious amount of blood rushing to their heads. Watching this odd display was a woman better known to the world as Elphaba Thropp, or otherwise by the name of miscellaneous grocery items.

Tibbett arms were shaking with strain. He bit his lip, looking at the green girl from upside down. “Ahh… miss Elphaba… how much longer are we supposed to hold this?”

She said nothing. Her eyes were narrowed down to slits and her expression was stormy.

A moment of silence, before Crope tried his luck. “D-did you hear us, miss Elphaba? How long-“

“Until I tell you to stop.”

“And when might that be?” Tibbet was starting to feel dizzy.

“When I’m satisfied.”

“And when might you be satisfied? It’s been five minutes already-“

“Actually, it’s only been two. Don’t worry. I’ve been paying very close attention.”

Crope swallowed. “Five minutes has to be the cap. It wouldn’t be safe to hold a headstand for longer than that. You don’t want us to die, do you?”

“…”

“Do you?!” His voice was becoming desperate.

“You know, it’s rare to someone even more colourful than I am,” Elphaba drawled, ignoring his inquiry. “As a green-faced girl, I’ve been waiting my whole life long for a red-faced boy to sweep me off my feet. Complimentary colours are just so romantic.”

“We don’t swing that way,” Crope muttered.

“Currently, they only way you swing is upside down,” Elphaba pointed out, her voice clipped. “Regardless, I intend to enjoy the sight as long as I can.”

“It must’ve been three minutes by now. Please let us down-“

“Two and a half. You can manage a little more.”

“Miss Elphaba, this doesn’t feel good-“

“Doesn’t feel good?” Elphaba’s arms tightened. “Really? Well, that’s a shame. Perhaps you could describe your symptoms. Do you feel stressed, perhaps? Uncomfortable? Forced into a completely unnatural position by someone you thought was your friend? Oh yes, master Crope. I can sympathise. It doesn’t feel good at all.”

By the end of it, her voice had become a hiss. Crope winced. Tibbett nearly lost his balance and was sad not to.

“We’ve already apologised a dozen times over,” the latter gasped out. “We can’t keep this up forever!”

He wasn’t lying. After Elphaba had confronted them, there had been a hasty explanation of the initial prank and their following period of cowardice. Then came a period of silent vegetable steaming. Afterwards, there were headlocks, then preliminary retribution in the form of headstands. Elphaba’s anger would by no means be sated by this alone, but it was a good start.

“Soon, you’ll be apologising to Glinda a dozen times over too,” she snarled. “But for now, I want revenge, and revenge isn’t best served cold. It’s best served repeatedly.”

Three minutes had come and gone. Their position really was starting to get unhealthy. Both were light-headed and about to collapse.

“W-what about now, miss Elphaba?” Crope whispered.

“You’re lucky I don’t keep you headstanding all night. After all, that’s how long my period of light-headedness lasted.” She gritted her teeth. “I’ve absolutely no idea how long a person can hold a headstand before fainting. Now’s as good a time as any to find out.”

“Is that what we are to you now? Your test guinea pigs?”

“Please. In my book, Guinea Pigs have rights. You two are more like insects.”

“Oh, just trample us already. A swift death would be preferred,” Crope moaned.

“Then pray my mood grows more merciful.”

“The rumours were right,” Tibbett whispered. “You really are a wicked witch.”

“Wickedness was thrust upon me. Rather like Glinda Upland.” She clenched her fist. Thoughts of her roommate- her girlfriend, by Oz!- would only make her feel like she was participating in those headstands.

By the time Crope and Tibbett fell to the floor, unable to hold it anymore, Elphaba had gone quiet. She was staring off into the distance, her breath shallow, her eyes vacant. It was obvious what she was thinking about.

The two student actors got to their feet, dusted themselves off, and considered the possibility of an escape while Elphaba was distracted. Both knew that would be like closing the stable doors after the horses had already bolted. They hesitated before approaching her again.

“We really are desperately sorry about this,” Crope repeated, doing his best impression of a broken record.

“It was supposed to be a joke…”

“Go on then. Laugh. I am.”

Elphaba was, in fact, not laughing.

“We wouldn’t dream of it.” Tibbett hesitated. “But can I just say one thing?”

“What?”

“Might there be a universe where-“

“Tibs, don’t-“

“No, I shall speak my mind.” He waved his boyfriend off and started again. “Might there be a universe where this ends up being a good thing?”

Elphaba stared, silent as the grave, as if daring him to continue.

Tibbett did so. “I mean, look at this way. You realised the truth last night, but you haven’t told Glinda yet, correct?”

She nodded, still silent.

“Okay. Soon, you’ll tell her about the misunderstanding-“

“Of course I will,” Elphaba snapped. “Unlike you, I own up to my mistakes.”

“Yes, yes. In other words, there’s every chance this has a happy ending..?”

“A happy ending. Really.” The green girl stepped forward, her eyes like slits. “Tell me how you’ve arrived at such a ludicrous conclusion, master Tibbett.”

He pinched his collar. “Well… Glinda… she did agree to be your partner, so… It might be a little embarrassing when you tell her it was all a misunderstanding, but there’s no reason it can’t not be a misunderstanding. All’s well that ends well, right?”

Elphaba opened her mouth to give him another verbal lashing, but it never came. She bit her lip, then turned her back on them. She didn’t want them to see the conflict the written on her face.

Her mind went back to last night. Glinda had… Glinda had kissed her. She’d said things that, considering these new revelations, could only be taken one way.

All of those feelings she’d thought were directed towards Fiyero… had they really been directed towards her?

‘I don’t think you realise how much you mean to me either, Elphie.’

Elphaba swallowed. That had been her first kiss. Glinda Upland had been her first kiss. The girl she’d loathed with everything she had and now adored with everything she had. When Glinda fell asleep on her lap, her heart had trembled with a yearning so strong it frightened her.

Crope and Tibbett glanced at each other. They knew exactly what Elphaba was feeling and thinking about. They’d guessed it by the Suicide Canal, when they tried to tell the hopeless pair about their situation.

Tibbett peered over the green girl’s back, trying to catch her eye. “Miss Elphaba? I know you’re furious with us right now, but we’re still your friends. You can talk to us, if you like.”

“About what?” she snapped. “What do you think is going to happen, exactly? I’ll tell Glinda the truth, and we’ll just ride off into the sunset? It doesn’t work like that, Tibbett.”

“No… There may be some awkwardness-“

“Some?!”

“There may be a great deal of awkwardness,” Tibbett corrected, “but Glinda is… what’s the term you use in Vinkun Hold’em?”

“Don’t say it,” Elphaba muttered quietly.

“Sorry honey. She’s all in.”

Cue the head shaking and denial. “It’s all your fault.”

“Dearie, the prank didn’t win her affections,” Crope said. “That was all you-“

“I don’t want to hear anymore of this.” The green girl was tired and overwrought. She sighed. “The main priority is to tell her the truth. I’ll worry about that later.”

Tibbett hesitated but gave her an encouraging smile. “I don’t think there’s any need to ‘worry’, greenie.”

Elphaba could only stare at him. She couldn’t formulate her response. A part of her wanted to say, ‘really?’, like a child asking their parent a question. The other part of her wanted to die. One thing at a time, she thought, trying to remove any persistent thoughts of blonde hair and pink lips on hers for the moment.

She’d left Glinda alone in their dormitory, leaving a note to ‘explain’ her absence. The message regarding an early library visit was nonsense, as Crope and Tibbett could testify. Now that she had the truth, it was important she spoke to Glinda as soon as possible. Elphaba went over their schedules in her head (she had both of them memorised, of course).

“Tibbett, you have architecture with Glinda this morning, don’t you?”

He blinked. In all the excitement and headstanding, he’d almost forgotten. “Yes. It’s a double period.”

“Alright…” Elphaba nodded to herself, formulating a plan. “I don’t have any lessons with Glinda today. Tell her to meet me in the quad outside the humanities building after architecture.”

“You’re going to tell her today?”

“No, I’m going to let her believe we’re in a relationship for the rest of our lives.” She scowled. “Yes, I’m going to tell her today.”

Tibbett stepped back. “Okay okay, it’s just… this will probably require a delicate touch, something you’re not exactly known for. It’s just as important whether you’re ready to tell her.”

“I’m ready whether I like it or not.”

Tibbett recognised it was hopeless. Any suggestion he made right now would be pointedly dismissed.

“Anything else we can do to help?” Crope asked. “We want to make it up to you-“

“You can worry about making it up once I’ve decided the rest of your punishment. Asking Glinda is just the favour you should’ve carried out in the first place.”

An image of being thrown into freezing cold canal water appeared in Crope and Tibbett’s collective consciousness. They shuddered in turn.

Elphaba checked her watch. It was almost time for the first lecture of the day. For her, that meant politics. With Fiyero. Oz. How was that only the second most painful interaction on today’s agenda?

Another surge of anger. She curled her lip at the boys. “What are you waiting for? Go and tell blondie about her impending appointment with heartbreak.”

The two student actors knew a dismissal when they heard one and had already failed to persuade Elphaba of their prank’s ‘upsides’. Tibbett headed back round to the front of Three Queens with his tail between his legs. Crope lingered for just a moment.

“Won’t you come with us?”

Elphaba shook her head rapidly. She wasn’t ready to face Fiyero yet, let alone Glinda. “You go ahead. I need some time to think.”

He nodded and followed his boyfriend, leaving the green girl alone. As soon as they disappeared round the front of the building, she let out a deep breath.

Today was going to be an almighty struggle.

Glinda was used to Elphaba waking up first. So, when she opened her eyes, and thoughts of last night flooded back, a dreamy smile took over.

If memory served her correctly (and in this case it definitely did), she and Elphaba had kissed. What a lovely, lovely world she was waking up in! The blonde wanted to yank her pillow out and hug it like a makeshift Elphaba- but why settle for the makeshift?

If precedence took hold, the real deal would already be awake.

Glinda shifted in her bed, turned over, stretched, yawned, all as loudly as possible. She was hoping Elphaba would notice and give her some much-coveted early morning attention. The Gilikin girl had an idea for extra credit. Her dreams had been very pleasant that night, but her roommate didn’t need to know that.

“Oh, Elphie, I had the most appalifying nightmare!” she announced, turning over. “I’m so frightened I fear I won’t make it to class today! You’ll have to comfort me-“

Glinda cut herself off. A quick survey of the room showed a distinct lack of the colour green. She frowned. If that wasn’t unusual enough, there was a slip of parchment lying on her roommate’s well-made bed.

Confused, she climbed out of bed still in her nightdress and walked over to Elphaba’s bed, appalifying nightmare conveniently forgotten. It read as follows:

Glinda,

I’m afraid I misjudged the amount of work required of me. I have thus adjourned to the library for the morning. Hopefully I don’t wake you up when I try to leave. As you said last night, ‘this princess needs her beauty sleep’.

I’m sure you’ll be able to handle my absence. It will only be for a few hours. Hold out, my sweet. (1)

Ever yours, Elphaba

Glinda took a moment to swoon all over the place. She was not going to let Elphie forget she’d called her a ‘princess’- it was there in writing!- and the ‘sweet’ nickname was as faint-worthy as ever. The green girl may only have been quoting Glinda’s words last night, but the adorable monikers were now on record.

My first love letter!Well, not my first, I’ve had plenty of those, but my first from Elphie. This will take pride of place at the top of my drawer.

She was too thrilled to care about the weakness of Elphaba’s excuse. She assumed her girlfriend was embarrassed about last night- it would be very Elphaba to self-isolate as a response. It had occurred to her that any kiss would probably be Elphaba’s first, but what did it matter? No one else would be kissing her girlfriend in the meantime.

Ah… If her memory served her correctly (and it still did), Fiyero had confessed to Elphaba yesterday.

That put a dampener on things. She hugged the letter to her chest, pouting. It was a reminder that she had work to do today- that is, work other than coaxing more intimacy out of her lover.

There were two main issues at play. First was the wannabe wedding-wrecking Winkie. Second was the need to ward off other wannabe wedding-wreckers from wanting her unwilfully wanton woman.

There was a solution to both of these issues. They were both self-explanatory, though one was rather more intimidating than the other.

Glinda couldn’t abide the possibility of more jealous breakdowns. That would be far more stressifying than the solution.

The Gilikin girl allowed herself a dramatic, confidence boosting hair toss. It was time to get to work.

It wasn’t the best time in the world to be a Winkie prince. Or maybe just to be Fiyero Tigelaar.

He hadn’t told anyone about his failed confession last night, retreating to Briscoe Hall to lick his emotional wounds. He couldn’t tell what hurt more; the sting of being told no or the simple sting of his pride. When he finally wanted something, really wanted something, he wasn’t allowed to have it. The irony did not go unnoticed.

The first person he told was Boq the morning after, who expressed all the sympathy of a close friend. Afterwards, they made their way towards Crage Hall; Boq had promised he would meet Nessa before lectures, and if that meant seeing Elphaba, so be it.

She’s a friend, just like before, Fiyero told himself reluctantly. No more pining, if you can help it. Back to the status quo.

Boq was knelt in front of Nessa, whispering something or other. She giggled in response. Neither of them had told her yet about Fiyero’s confession- Boq because he considered it Fiyero’s job, and Fiyero because he didn’t really want to.

His eyes were on Crage Hall. They were waiting by the Suicide Canal again. Soon enough, a pairing of pink and green would emerge.

He kicked his feet. Seeing her would sting, no doubt. It would probably sting for awhile…

Nessa noticed his strange mood. Boq glanced at him, wondering if he would tell her. Fiyero just shrugged and played it off.

They didn’t have to wait much longer. A sole figure emerged from Crage Hall at about the right time; even from a distance, the three of them could immediately discern the colour green. Fiyero prepared himself, only to frown. The expected accompanying shade of pink didn’t follow. Nonetheless, the solitary figure was striding right towards them.

Oh well. I suppose Fae left early this morning, he thought.

However, his frown became morphed into open-mouthed shock when the figure came closer.

The green they were seeing wasn’t the green of Elphaba’s skin. It wasn’t Elphaba at all. Rather, it was an outfit, and the one wearing it was Glinda.

Fiyero glanced around, double-checking he wasn’t in the Emerald City. The Gilikin girl’s clothes were much more suited to the Ozian capital than Shiz university. She was wearing a gauzy, skin-tight dress with a high slit that revealed her left thigh. The shade of the dress was a gorgeous pale green, practically celadon. Glinda’s blonde hair was usually worn down- today, she’d tied into a bun with the help of an absurdly bright scrunchie. A pair of dark sunglasses and similarly green handbag completed the look.

He had never seen the dress before and was almost glad he hadn’t. Glinda drew stares at the best of time, but this was another level.

She stopped right in front of them, without removing her large-rimmed sunglasses, and struck a pose. “It’s alright, dearies. You can use the ‘g’ word.”

Boq blinked. “Is the ‘g’ word green?”

Glinda smiled winningly. “I was thinking ‘gorgeous’, but ‘green’ is also accurate.”

The Munchkin’s roving eyes earned an unforgiving elbow from his girlfriend.

“Hello, miss Glinda. You look very…” Nessa cleared her throat, her eyes falling on Glinda’s very visible curves and exposed leg with poorly concealed disapproval. “… Very fetching. As usual.”

Glinda either didn’t notice or didn’t care. “Why thank you! A girl should never fetch for themselves.”

“Is there a reason for today’s wardrobe choice?” Elphaba’s sister inquired. “You’re not off to the Emerald City, are you?”

“Oh no, Nessie. I’m just making a statement.”

“A fashion statement?”

Fiyero snorted. “Well, it’s certainly not a religious one.”

For some reason, Glinda didn’t respond immediately. She just stared at him, though her expression was hidden behind the shades.

“It’s more of a romantic statement, really,” she said. Her smile remained, but it was rather… thin.

The Winkie prince raised an eyebrow. Romantic? But before he could even begin to contemplate what Glinda meant, she was already changing the subject.

“Fifi, dearest,” she said, with a flourish, “could we have an itsy bitsy chat?”

The phrase ‘itsy bitsy’ had never sounded so menacing. Fiyero assumed it would be about Elphaba- he glanced at Boq, who shrugged, and Nessa, who was still pouting over Glinda’s colossal sex appeal. He nodded his assent.

The blonde turned on her heels and beckoned him away from the other two. He followed her a little way from the bridge, where they could enjoy some quasi-privacy.

When they were alone, she smiled at him again, sunglasses still covering her eyes. Fiyero frowned. There was definitely something off about Glinda. She had the look of a employer about to tell their employee they were being made redundant.

“Good morning,” she said, and then under her breath, “you wannabe wedding-wrecking Winkie.”

 He blinked. “Excuse me?”

“I said, ‘Good morning Fifi’.”

The prince was ninety percent sure she hadn’t said that. “Good morning, Glin…?”

She was tapping her left foot, the same as her exposed thigh, as if someone she didn’t like were lodged beneath it. “How are you feeling?”

“You mean in general, or about…” He gestured uncomfortably. “About last night?”

Glinda laughed very, very loudly. “Straight to the point, hmm! That’s fine. That’s just fine.”

Fiyero had a feeling it wasn’t. Before he could express his confusion, the Gilikin girl opened her handbag and removed a piece of paper, unfolding it for him.

“Here you go,” she said, with forced brightness.

The Winkie took the piece of paper. “What’s this?”

“Your new rules.”

“Rules?”

“Yes, yes. I wrote them up this morning.”

Fiyero, baffled, perused the document, written out in Glinda’s outrageously flamboyant cursive. All of her ‘is’ were dotted with heart symbols- except for the ‘is’ in his name, he noted. The ‘is’ in Elphie’s name, however, had two hearts piled on top of each other.

Glinda’s Totally Fair and Reasonable Rules for Fifi!

(They’re Great!)

Fifi Rule Number 1: You may not talk to Elphie without a supervisor.

Extra Conditions- None! Just follow it!

Fifi Rule Number 2: You may not look at Elphie without a supervisor.

Extra Conditions- None! Just follow it!!

Please Note: Any revisions to these rules must be submitted in writing to Glinda first.

Please Also Note: The only supervisor allowed is Glinda!!

Please Also Also Note: Any rule breaks, accident or not, will be punished puniticiously!!!

(No need to sign here, Fifi, your opinion doesn’t matter XXX)

Signed, Glinda Upland of the UPPER Uplands

The Winkie prince read the ‘rules’. He read them again. Then, his eyes shifted back to Glinda, whose dark sunglasses were reflecting the light.

“What is this?”

“Didn’t you hear me? They’re your new rules.”

Fiyero’s eyes moved from paper to author. “This is a joke, right?”

She laughed very loudly again. “I don’t see anything amusifying about it.”

“Glin, these are crazy. I mean, not talking to Fae without supervision? Not looking at Fae without supervision? How is that even possible?”

“That sounds like your problem.” The violent tapping of Glinda’s foot increased in frequency.

“I’m confused. Fae and I… Well, it seemed like we were on decent terms afterwards. Did you talk this over with her?”

“No.”

“So this is something you’ve come up with yourself? Fae doesn’t even know?” He shook his head. “I thought you gave me permission, Glin.”

The Gilikin girl went quiet for a moment, her smile almost completely gone. Then, she reached up and removed her sunglasses, fingers trembling.

Fiyero gulped. Any hint of a smile had faded.

“You confessed to Elphie,” she said, matter of fact.

He flushed but straightened his posture. “Y-yeah, I did. And I’d do it again-“

“Do it again and I’ll tell everyone about that!” Glinda went from zero to one hundred in a flash. Fiyero stepped back, shocked.

“What do you mean, ‘that’?”

“You know what.” She glared at him. “Would the girlies be so keen if they knew you liked doing that between the sheets-“

“What in Oz’s name is the matter with you?” Fiyero spluttered, aghast. “First of all, that’s private, and second of all, isn’t this blackmail? Again, and I stress, you gave me permission-“

“No I didn’t!” she shrieked. Boq and Nessa could hear them now, and were looking over worriedly, but the Gilikin girl didn’t care. “I thought you were checking up on me after the breakup!”

“But… but I said it outright! How could you possibly have misunderstood me?”

Glinda opened her mouth to continue the onslaught, but even she knew her next response was weak. Her arms crossed themselves.

“Well, I… I may have been a little distracted when you asked me. But really, that’s on you! You’re just not interesting enough!”

“Let me get this straight,” Fiyero said, his confusion quickly turning into annoyance. “You weren’t listening when I asked for permission, and said yes without clarifying? And this is somehow my fault?!”

“You should’ve been more clear!”

“You should’ve been listening!”

“Yeah, well, it’s not my fault that you’re a… that you’re a…” She scrambled for a good comeback. “It’s not my fault that you’re a stupid annoying boy! How about that?”

Fiyero pinched the bridge of his nose. “Perhaps you should leave the zingers to Elphaba.”

“Hey! I can totally zing!”

“Cannot.”

“Can too!”

The Winkie prince decided to defuse the situation before they fully descended into a playground argument. “I still don’t understand where this is coming from. It’s been well over a month since we broke up, Glin. I thought it was mutual-”

“It’s not about you,” she snapped. “It’s about Elphie.”

“What do you mean?”

Glinda flushed against her will. She’d come here with the express intention of saying it, but the old insecurities emerged at the decisive moment. She swallowed. “She… I… well, um…”

Fiyero glanced back down at her outrageously green outfit. It’s more of a romantic statement, really. That’s what she’d said…

A crazy idea popped into his head.

“Wait, you… you don’t mean…?”

Glinda flushed all the more. She was burning up beneath Fiyero’s gaze. If only there were some sort of loophole- but keeping it a secret had been the cause of all this trouble, and would be the cause of more in the future.

Her eyes flickered over to Boq and Nessa, who were watching them anxiously. Her intention had been to tell the rest of the Charmed Circle, at a minimum. It didn’t make sense to exclude them from the conversation.

“C-come with me,” she said, with faux confidence. She grabbed Fiyero by the sleeve and dragged him back towards the bridge, where their friends were waiting.

Nessa looked between her and Fiyero, concerned. “Is everything alright-“

“Everyone! I have a little announcement to make,” Glinda declared. She pushed Fiyero back over, so that all of them were facing her. Three pair of eyes only made it more embarrassing, but she didn’t have much choice.

“Now, um… This may be a little shocking- confusifying, even- but I want you all to remain calm.”

“What is this, a fire drill?” Fiyero muttered.

Glinda glared at him, but Boq got their first. “It’s not about Elphaba, is it?”

“Elphaba?” Nessa looked between them all, exasperated. “What’s she done this time-“

“Nothing! It’s… um… you see, it’s…” Glinda’s drew a blank. They were looking at her expectantly, and she couldn’t think of a subtle way to say it.

“You… you may have noticed my choice of dress today!” She started again, from another angle. “Now, this is a very clever and nuanced way of showing the world that I really really like the colour green. Isn’t it just amazing? I mean, who doesn’t love the colour green? And the reason why I love it so much is because… um…”

Subtlety had never been Glinda’s strong point. So, despite her embarrassment, the blonde decided to just go for it.

She sighed, voice turning blunt. “Elphie and I are together. You’re not to tell anyone outside our friendship group. Any questions?”

“…”

“…”

“…”

Glinda hastily shoved her sunglasses back on. “No? Alrighty then. Off to class I go.”

She strode past them, not daring to look back at their stunned expressions. As the green-clad figure crossed the bridge, Boq, Nessa and Fiyero just looked at each other, trying to process what they’d been told.

Nessa blinked. “Sorry, I think I misheard her. Something about her and Fabala?”

Boq quickly latched on to her train of thought. “You know, I think I may have misheard her too. Fiyero, what did she say?”

The Winkie prince just stared after Glinda, feeling like he’d been run over by the express train to the Emerald City.

“Sorry, you two. I think we all heard correctly.”

After their headstanding session, Crope and Tibbett headed straight to architecture. Only Tibbett and Glinda had that particular class together, but Crope could afford to be late for his lecture with Boq and Nessa. They had a promise to uphold. Properly, this time.

“You know, other than the headstands, I think greenie took it rather well.”

Crope looked at him reductively. “She said there were more punishments on the way. How does that qualify as ‘taking it rather well’?”

“Sure, but just think. After meeting with Glinda, she might have a change of heart! She might begin to see the genius of our vision-“

“We played a prank and it went tits up,” he said flatly.

Tibbett rolled his eyes. “You’ve got no appreciation for the game.”

“Just don’t count on Elphaba to go about this the right way. She’ll tell Glinda the truth without any sweeteners.”

“But they like each other. Once that becomes clear-“

“Elphaba is Elphaba. She’ll do her very best to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. I’m not sure how, but she’ll find a way. Just you wait and see.”

Tibbett wished he could argue, but the green girl’s extensive track record of self-sabotage was making that difficult. He put his arm round his partner, turning them towards the wall. The corridor was already full of students waiting for architecture start, but Glinda hadn’t arrived yet.

“When we tell Glinda about the appointment with Elphaba, do you think we should tell her anything else?”

Crope frowned. “Elaborate.”

“It’s like you said. If we can’t trust our dear green friend to manage the situation properly, maybe we should take matters into our hands?”

“You mean tell her about the misunderstanding beforehand?”

Tibbett nodded, but his boyfriend shook his head. “We shouldn’t complicate this anymore than we have already. We’re the messengers here. That’s all.”

Their teacher opened the door to the lecture room. The pair noticed and made their way towards the hall, only to realise they seemed to be the only ones doing so. All the other students were looking the other way- as indeed was the teacher.

Whispers started to spread around their peers. Crope and Tibbett followed the stares, already expecting who would be attracting so much attention.

Glinda had outdone herself this time. In ordinary circumstances, the pair might descend into supportive gushing, but the breathtakingly green outfit had an obvious and troubling symbolism. She might not have draped herself in an orange-pink flag (2), but make no mistake. This was a public announcement (though most of the public didn’t know it yet), and the announcement was ‘Glinda Upland is a lesbian’.

The Gilikin girl preened and pranced around their class, accepting their compliments and waving like a newly minted celebrity. Crope and Tibbett watched with a mixture of existential dread and fashion-savvy appreciation.

She arrived before her friends last. “It’s alright, you can use the ‘g’ word,” she said, repeating what she’d said earlier, hoping for a similar reaction.

Tibbett looked at her. “The ‘g’ word is gay.”

“With a capital ‘G’,” Crope finished off.

She blushed bright pink, bringing her more in line with the typical Glinda colour scheme. “Shh. N-not so loud.”

“The only loud one here is you. Loudly gay.”

She tried to keep up the confident façade. “I usually to dress to kill, but today I dress to pronouncify.”

The two boys shared a moment of eye-contact. This could be a serious problem. “So, uh… have you told anyone what the dress means, or is this just for your own satisfaction?”

Glinda moved a little closer. The rest of their class, though still stealing glances at her outfit and what the outfit showed off, were now entering the lecture hall.

“I’ve not told everyone,” she said, a little defensive. “Not that I won’t soon, hahaha… But I did tell Nessie, Boq and the Winkie who shall not be named.”

The blonde explained the circumstances which had led to her telling the truth, and why she was now referring to Fiyero in such allusive terms.

Tibbett was already groaning in pain by the end of her explanation. Crope tried to cover it up by nudging him, but Glinda had already noticed.

“Hey! Why are you groaning? This is a good thing! It means that soon, Elphie and I can be all lovey dovey in public. It’s what she deserves. It’s what we deserve.” She was blushing again. “Because we’re a c-couple, you know?”

About that… was what Tibbett wanted to say, but he also wanted to keep his head. A glance between him and Crope showed they were on the same wavelength: buy time.

“It’s an excellent plan, faultless really, though I do think we should keep this in our circle for now. You’ve only told Boq, Fiyero and Nessa, I trust?”

She nodded. “And I also told them to keep it a secret.”

“Marvellous.” Tibbett gave Glinda a ‘friendly’ shove towards the lecture hall. “Alright, go find your seat. The class is getting impatient. They’re just dying to ogle your behind as you walk in.”

“Naturally,” Glinda said. “Oh, I can’t wait till Elphie sees me. She’ll be eating out of my hand.”

“And other places-“

She squealed, cutting over him. “Tibbett, you’re outrageous!”

“It’s what you were thinking, wasn’t it?”

“No it wasn’t! I’m new to all this!”

“You’re new to girl on girl, not to the ways of women. Even I’m questioning my sexuality right now.” He turned to Crope. “Why don’t you ever dress up like that, darling?”

Glinda put her hands on her cheeks, pleased. “You think she’ll like it that much?”

“You know damn well she’ll like it.” The question is whether you’ll still like her, once the misunderstanding’s cleared up.

Crope gave him a look that said ‘move it along’. Tibbett did so. “I mean it. Head on in, Glinda.”

The blonde, however, was staring off into the distance, apparently distracted.

Tibbett coughed. “Enough with the fantasising. If all goes well, Elphaba will give you the treatment for real.”

Glinda snapped out of it, looking a little hot under the collar. “S-stop being dirty minded.”

“Hypocrisy is a sin, dearie.”

She turned towards the lecture hall, eager to escape the topic, but then turned back. “Wait. Why aren’t you coming too?”

He’d expected that question and already prepared his response. “I meant what I said about questioning my sexuality. The sight of you has necessitated some urgent homosexual therapy.”

Tibbett grabbed Crope by the collar and yanked him into a passionate kiss. Crope, though shocked, returned it for the sake of the greater good (and only that, of course).

The Gilikin girl laughed. “Ah, I see how it is. Enjoy yourself, boys!”

They pulled apart once Glinda had disappeared into the lecture hall, but not as soon as one might expect.

Crope put his hands on his hips, flushed. “You’re lucky we have a reputation for making out in public. Otherwise, she would have asked more questions.”

“It’s all calculated, my love. I only kiss you for the sake of escaping awkward situations.”

“I thought you kissed me because I was your one and only,” he said sniffily.

“Well, that too...”

“Maybe you should reaffirm the depth of your feelings.”

“Is that a challenge? You’ll soon-“ Tibbett shook his head. “We’re getting distracted.”

Crope shook himself out of the erotic stupor. “Right, yes… Glinda. What to do about miss Glinda?”

“Why did she have to come out now, of all times?”

“It’s awkward, but it doesn’t change much. Our plan should still be the same. Tell Glinda about the appointment, and hope for the best.”

Tibbett thought it over. “Your next class is with Boq and Nessa…?” His partner nodded in affirmation. “What about Fiyero?”

“He has politics with Elphaba. Yikes.”

Tibbett imagined the Winkie prince’s predicament and shuddered. Getting rejected was one thing, but to then be told the girl you confessed was in a lesbian relationship the whole time? Although technically she isn’t...

“You need to tell Boq and Nessa that Glinda was mistaken,” Tibbett insisted. “I know they promised to keep it a secret, but this is a disaster waiting to happen. Boq could blurt it out any moment, and who knows how Little Miss Pious is reacting?”

Crope rolled his eyes. “What happened to your optimism?”

“You were the one who said we couldn’t trust Elphaba to handle the situation properly.”

Tibbett was right and he hated it. “But what would I say? ‘Hey, you know when Glinda said she was in a relationship with Elphaba? Forget it, that was all a joke’?”

“Just keep it vague until Elphaba’s told Glinda the truth. It doesn’t need to be anything specific.”

“They’ll ask questions-“

“Hence why should you keep it vague,” Tibbett cut in. “As long as you keep them at bay for a few hours, it’ll be fine.”

Crope wanted to protest more, but at this point, it was a case of choosing which fire to fight.

He sighed in defeat. “Okay. I’ll tell Boq and Nessa that Glinda and Elphaba aren’t dating. You keep an eye on Glinda.”

“Got it.” Tibbett smiled at his boyfriend weakly. “See you on the other side, lover boy.”

Crope gave him a half-hearted peck on the lips and dashed off, leaving Tibbett to rue their current predicament. My capacity to spread chaos is truly frightening.

He needed to look on the bright side. His task during architecture- to supervise Glinda and tell her about the appointment- was a lot easier than Crope’s.

But the shortest straw of all, without a doubt, belonged to Elphaba.

The green girl had made a habit of talking with Fiyero before politics and sitting next to him during the lecture. It took all she had to maintain that sense of normalcy.  

She was saved the awkwardness for a while on account of Fiyero arriving late. This was a bad sign in of itself. Elphaba took her seat in the classroom without her usual educational fervour. Even her contributions once the lecture began were limited.

By the time Fiyero walked in, ten minutes had already passed. She sat up, resisting the urge to shrink in on herself and look away. You need to be mature about this, Elphaba told herself strictly.

The lecturer gave him the typical scolding for tardiness. He accepted it all without complaint- without even a word, actually. He was staring out the window, a spaced-out expression on his face.

Elphaba had saved a seat for him. She wasn’t sure if he would take it, but had determined the offer should be extended nonetheless. Fiyero had asked her to be patient; he was more than entitled to sit somewhere else if he wanted.

Their eyes met as he walked up the isle. Elphaba swallowed but kept her face strong. He didn’t smile back. In fact, he just looked at like her with that same, almost blanked out expression. The green girl felt her smile sag.

But Fiyero seemed to change his mind at the last moment. He swept in and took the seat beside her, producing his rarely used notebook without a word.

Politics class continued, the only sounds being the scratch of quills and the droning about Princess Ozma. Elphaba had royalty on her mind, though in her case it was of the Winkie variety.

Soon, she could stand the quiet no longer. She scribbled out a note on her paper, tore it off and handed it discreetly to Fiyero. He sighed and took it.

Are you angry with me?

Elphaba,

Fiyero handed it back, contemplating his response. In all honesty, his anxieties about seeing Elphaba again had been eased by a different and far more unexpected feeling. He wrote out his own note.

I’m more confused than angry.

Fiyero,

Elphaba frowned. Another exchange.

Confused?

Another.

Yeah. I feel like everything would’ve been easier if you just told me the truth?

The truth? I believe I was very honest with you indeed, Fiyero.

Fiyero shook his head, more and more baffled.

I’m guessing it was a secret, but I needed to know you and Glin are together. Then, I wouldn’t feel like such an idiot.

The Winkie prince waited for his next response with bated breath. He kept his eyes on the chalkboard, a little scared to see Elphaba’s reaction, but tension forced his hand.

The green girl was clutching his note like it was the last tether of her sanity. She only let go, her breathing suddenly heavy, to write him a new one.

Meet me outside after the lecture immediately.

The word ‘immediately’ was underlined four times.

Politics class began to feel like much longer than a double period.

As soon as the words ‘class dismissed’ passed their professor’s lips, Elphaba shot out of her seat like a bullet from a flintlock rifle. Fiyero took her urgency as more than the simple desire for a swift exit and followed her.

They didn’t say a word until they were standing outside the faculty building. The humanities quad was extremely large, housing the largest number of subjects and lecture halls at Shiz. The lawn was open and a common meeting point for students. Elphaba glanced around frantically, checking whether Glinda had already arrived. This also happened to be where she’d specified their meeting point. Her roommate would be here soon.

In other words, she didn’t have long to figure out why Fiyero knew about their pitiful excuse for a ‘relationship’.

She rounded on the prince in a panic, all hesitance forgotten. “Who told you?” was her desperate rasp. “Was it Crope and Tibbett? So help me, I’ll gut them like the rotten fish they are. No, I’ll scalp them-“

“Whoa whoa whoa, calm down Fae!” he interrupted. “There’s no need for that.”

“Then who was it?”

“Glinda. She told me this morning.”

“Just you?”

“Uhhh…” He scratched the back of his neck.

“Lurline help me.” Elphaba started up the breathing regimen again, this time for the purpose of stress relief. In, out, in, out. “Who else?”

“Boq and Nessa. Those are the ones I know about.”

“So she could’ve told everyone by now,” she muttered.

“I guess so, yeah…?”

Elphaba put her head in her hands, unsure where to look. She didn’t want to see Fiyero’s expression, knowing she would melt like a snowman in embarrassment. She didn’t want to look around the quad, knowing that Glinda would likely arrive any moment now.

A crawling sense of helplessness overtook her. She’s on her way, at my own request…

What was even the point of getting angry? The only thing she could do now was clear up the misunderstanding and hope Glinda hadn’t told too many people. She would apologise, apologise again, distance herself, perhaps change dormitory, and apologise again. There was no coming back from this, not when she’d put through the blonde through the humiliation of mistakenly telling everyone she was dating a celery stick.

A voice that sounded like Tibbett echoed in her head. But what if she ends up dating a celery stick for real?

She punched the stupid subconscious voice in its stupid subconscious face.

“Fae?” Fiyero said quietly. “Just a reminder that I’m still here.”

Elphaba swallowed, eyes on her feet. “Yes… Fiyero, it’s… I’m sure you want an explanation-“

“That would be nice-“

“But in all honesty, I’m not sure I can provide one. Apologies are the extent of what I can offer right now.”

Fiyero visibly twitched in frustration. “Seriously? You’re not going to explain why you look like someone ran off with your favourite pair of slippers?”

“I need to speak to Glinda first,” she said desperately. “She’s on her way to meet me. You’ll probably see her any moment now. After that, I’ll be happy to go through it with you-“

“Are you or are you not dating Glinda?”

The green girl’s mouth formed an ‘o’ shape.

“Well?” he demanded. “It’s a simple question. Yes or no?”

She bit her lip, knowing full-well how idiotic her answer would be. But it was the most accurate answer she could currently provide.

“Neither.”

“…”

“…”

Fiyero lost the remnants of his patience, throwing his hands up in the air. “Neither?! What the hell do you mean, neither?! It’s yes or no, isn’t it?!”

“Unfortunately not. It’s really quite complicated, and I’m afraid I don’t have the…” She trailed off with a sigh. “I don’t have the time or the energy to go over why. Fiyero, look. I’m dead inside. As dead as a daisy in a drought.”

“If you’re dead inside, think about how I feel!” he shot back, struggling to restrain his voice. “If you’re only into girls, why didn’t you tell me earlier? Oz, I said all those things without knowing I was barking up the wrong tree-”

“No! It wasn’t like that!”

“Then why lie about it?” Fiyero glared at her, not in the mood to be merciful. “I’m sure all my compliments did wonders for your stunted ego.”

“Has it occurred to you that perhaps I wasn’t lying? Some of us don’t limit ourselves to one tree!”

The retort slipped out before she could stop herself. Elphaba’s face turned as dark green as the head of a broccoli. Fiyero reddened too and almost forgot to be annoyed at her stubbornness.

“Y-yeah? Well, that’s totally fine! I respect your decision to tell me that!” he shouted, angrily supportive.

“Thank you! I respect how understanding and tolerant you’ve been the last few days!” she shouted back, angrily receptive of his support.

“But I still want the full truth, not just some of it.” Fiyero wasn’t going to let her off that easy.

“I’ve already told you as much as I can,” she mustered out. “It’s complicated. You’ll know everything in an hour or so anyway. In fact, half of campus will probably know.”

The Winkie prince waited for her to change her mind. It was a vainglory pursuit. The Thropp family had a longstanding, dominant gene of stubbornness.

“Fine,” he rasped. “Between you and Glinda, I thought you were the straight-talker, Fae. I guess I’ll have to rely on your ‘girlfriend’ instead.”

He started to walk away from her, across the lawn of the quad, in the direction of the architecture building.

“Fiyero, wait!” she called out, paralysed. “She’s coming this way-“

“Then I’ll talk to her first.”

Elphaba could only watch as the Winkie prince strode off, her heart reaching thus far uncharted territories in the pit of her stomach.

Come quickly, my sweet, she thought, grinding her teeth. And please, for the love of all that is holy, don’t tell anyone else.

“But why does she want to speak to me?” Glinda whined.

It was the seventh occasion the Gilikin girl had asked that question. Each time, her whine had grown more and more like a discontented puppy, and Tibbett feared said puppy would never be satiated.

They were walking out of the architecture building amidst the typical student throng, taking their sweet time. He didn’t understand how the Gilikin girl could keep her focus, knowing the sheer volume of eyes on her because of the suggestive green dress.

Then again, it was probably no more attention than she was accustomed to. Give a girl like Glinda the right outfit and she could probably conquer Oz, Tibbett thought gravely.

The aspiring actor sighed. He’d told her about the appointment with Elphaba in hushed tones during the lecture, thus giving Glinda even more of a reason not to educate herself about the architecture of the Wizard’s reign.

“Shouldn’t you be asking her that question?” he replied, exasperated.

“Oh I will, but knowing in advance is so much more fun.”

“Isn’t the fun in the anticipation of waiting?”

“No,” she said, as if he were stupid. “The fun is in the instant gratificution.”

“I bet your parents let you open Lurlinemas gifts early.”

“They did, actually! Momsie and Popsicle are ever so nice to me.” She laughed.

Tibbett couldn’t help but laugh too. Glinda took him by the arm and continued her attempts to wile out the reason for Elphaba’s proposed meeting. If he weren’t so thoroughly crooked, her wiles would have been more effective. His urgent homosexual therapy from earlier had worked, it seemed.

They stepped outside just as the sun emerged from behind a cloud, and with it a pleasant wave of heat.

“It’s still summer!” Glinda announced. She punctuated her apparent rule over the seasons with an ostentatious twirl. “Oh, I’m just bursting with life today!”

“You’re bursting alright, honey. Bursting right out of that dress.”

“For Elphie, if she asks nicely.”

“Please. I doubt she’d have to ask.”

Glinda took hold of his arm again, unabashed. “You know Tibbett, you might be the second most fabulous person on campus.”

“Behind yourself, I assume?”

“Who else? And since we’re such good friends-“

“Take a hint, Glinda. I’m not telling.”

She gasped. “But I complimented you and everything!”

“Just go and ask Elphaba, for goodness sake. She’s waiting for you.”

Glinda thought about it and smiled. “That’s true. I do like the idea of her waiting for me. And I would get to see her all blushy-mushy-“

“You see, there’s no downside.” He nudged her in the direction of the humanities quad. Now go before you cause any more serious damage.  

“Hmm. I’m not happy that you won’t tell me, but-“ Her eyes suddenly fixated on something behind his back. “Wait! Look whose coming our way!”

No! Bad puppy! Go back to your owner! Tibbett thought, trying to shepherd her back in the right direction, but Glinda’s attention had already been stolen. What, had a squirrel popped out of a bush?

He followed her gaze to see a group of three familiar faces approaching them. Hurriedly, at that. There were no squirrels in sight. Just Boq, Nessa and his boytoy.

Glinda beamed at them as they approached, as if competing with the sun itself. Tibbett, however, paid close attention. Nessa was moving herself over to them on her own, and fast at that. It looked to him like Boq and Crope were chasing after her.

She probably wants to know more about her sister’s relationship, Tibbett thought. I doubt Glinda went into much detail earlier.

“Hello again, you three! And so soon after our last meeting.” The blonde somehow found a way to toss her hair despite it being tied in a bun. “No one can get enough of me today.”

“Is that so?”

Glinda didn’t seem to notice Crope and Boq’s concerned breathing. The girl they’d been chasing, however, only had eyes for the Gilikin girl. She was smiling, but Tibbett could sense something beneath the gaze.

He looked over at his boyfriend, a question in his eyes. Crope was mouthing something at him- he wasn’t sure what.

The blonde gasped excitedly. “Nessie! Does that mean we’re-“

“Could you lean a little closer?” the Munchkinlander asked.

“Why? Do you have something to tell me?”

“You could say that.”

Glinda did as she was asked, leaning closer to Nessarosse. Crope and Boq seemed a little relieved. At what? Tibbett wondered. The civility of the conversation? He tried to catch his boyfriend’s eye again, to find out what he’d been trying to mouth, but Crope’s attention was on the two girls.

Glinda was still beaming. The girl in the chair was smiling too.

So it was a bit of a surprise when Nessa lifted her hand and slapped the blonde hard across the face.

Everyone froze, including Glinda. She was still smiling, the expression stuck in place, even as the red mark on her cheek lingered.

Then, time sped up again. The Gilikin girl yelped in shock and pain, backing away from the Munchkinlander. Boq lunged forward and turned Nessa towards him, protesting. Crope had dropped to his knees, head in hands over the disaster that had unfolded.

Tibbett went to Glinda’s side to check on her. The red mark was bright and angry; hot tears had appeared in her eyes.

“Nessie?! Why?!” she shrieked, incoherent.

Elphaba’s sister arms were still crossed, her nose upturned haughtily. “That’s what you get for corrupting my sister, you brazen hussy.”

Glinda gasped. The pair launched into an exchange of confusion on the Gilikin’s part and unforthcoming vitriol on the Munchkinlander’s. Boq did his best at a defusal job, which wasn’t much of a defusal at all. If anything, his presence seemed to be making things worse.

“Why are you defending her?” Nessa demanded. “You heard what Crope said.”

“Well, yes, but-“

“I believe he was very clear about the situation. It makes an awful lot more sense than the alternative.”

“Alternative?” Glinda squeaked, scrambling for a foothold. “What do you mean, alternative?”

Nessa huffed. “Don’t act oblivious. You know exactly what you’re doing. No one with a clean soul could wear a dress so… so licentious, lascivious, libidinous, libertine-“

“I think she gets the idea-“

“Quiet, Boq! You were looking at her like everyone else!”

As Boq defended his masculine urges and Glinda defended her ‘libertine’ fashion choices, Tibbett sought a way out of this mess. He knew there could only be one person responsible, and said person was currently kneeling on the ground in dread.

He stomped over to his boyfriend. “What the hell’s going on?” he hissed, under breath.

Crope head just shook, dismayed at how fast things had gotten out of control.

His boyfriend resorted to violent shaking. “Crope?! Now is not the time to go into your shell! How has this happened?”

“I was just trying to keep it vague,” he mumbled.

“Evidently, you failed! Whatever you said, it’s convinced Nessa that Glinda’s some kind of decadent lesbian stereotype-”

“She made that jump on her own,” he insisted. “Nessa was already convinced something was wrong. She couldn’t believe they were actually dating.”

“And?”

“I told her they weren’t, and Nessa seemed placated. But she insisted I tell her why Glinda used the word ‘together’.”

“And?!” He repeated. His boyfriend hesitated, but Tibbett shot him a warning glance. “Crope…”

He cleared his throat. “In my effort to keep things vague, I may have implied that, by ‘together’, Glinda meant that they were ‘experimenting’ more so than ‘dating’…”

“So what, Nessa thinks Glinda is just fooling around?” Tibbett glared at him. “Brilliant, Crope. You’ve really outdone yourself this time. Why didn’t you contradict her?”

“All she said was that she wanted to talk to Glinda! I didn’t know she would slap the poor girl!”

Tibbett forced his boyfriend back up to his feet. “Come on, we’ve got to sort this out.”

“How? By keeping it vague?” he said sarcastically.

“Shut up and help me.”

They walked over to the other three, who were still in a state of total disarray.

“I don’t understand, Nessie,” Glinda sniffled, nursing her cheek. “That really really really hurt.”

“My sister will be hurting too, once you’ve finished toying with her. Fabala can be difficult sometimes, but she’s much more sensitive than she lets on.”

“I know that! And I’m not toying with her. I’m serious about this!”

Nessa snorted. “Serious about Fabala? Rubbish. I thought you were a nice enough girl, but ‘experimenting’ with someone in her position is just cruel.”

“Experimenting?” Glinda spluttered. “Me and Elphie aren’t ‘experimenting’. Where did you get that idea from?”

“From Crope.” Nessa turned to him. “Isn’t that right?”

He winced. “Well, look here-“

The Gilikin girl stomped her feet. “So it’s you whose behind this. You’ve betrayed me. You’re a big mean traitor!”

“He didn’t mean it,” Tibbett cut in. “He was only trying to exercise damage control.”

Crope raised his hands. “And I wasn’t lying, persay-“

“You see?” Nessa sneered at Glinda. “This confirms it.”

“No, I-“ Crope tried to sneak back in, but couldn’t find a place.

“Nessa, why do you think I’m wearing this dress?” Glinda tried to get through to her from a different angle. “Like I said, it’s a romantic statement.”

“Yes, some debauched symbol of your romantic conquest-“

“I’m not ‘experimenting’ with Elphie! I said we’re ‘together’, and I meant it!”

“’Together’ is a loaded phrase,” Nessa shot back.

Tibbett gave Glinda a nudge on the shoulder, trying to alert her to their surroundings. They were causing a commotion right in the middle of Shiz; a lot of students were filing out of lectures and beginning to look their way. The girls, however, were too caught up in their argument to care.

He glanced towards the humanities building and moaned. Yet another familiar face was approaching them, someone with their very own special place in the chaos.

Fiyero Tigelaar only had eyes for Glinda- not because he liked the look of her in green (on a different day perhaps), but because he needed clarity from someone. Anyone.

He paused when he saw the disruption on display. “What’s going on?”

“You really, really don’t want to know,” Tibbett said, giving Crope a scathing look.

The Winkie prince took in the sight of Glinda’s red cheek and Nessa’s angry glares. A loud snort escaped his nostrils. “You’re probably right.” Instead, he grabbed Glinda’s arm, demanding her attention.

“Glinda, I want an upfront answer. No nonsense, no bullshit.” The prince then leaned in, lowering his voice so only those nearby could hear. “Are you or are you not dating Elphaba?”

Everyone looked at Glinda, waiting for her response. Except for Crope and Tibbett, who looked at each other.

The Gilikin girl stood up tall. “Yes!”

“No!” Crope and Tibbett contradicted her at the same time.

“I can’t believe this,” Fiyero snarled. “Glinda’s saying ‘yes’, you two are saying ‘no’, and Elphaba’s saying ‘neither’. By the Unnamed God, which is it?”

“Elphaba said ‘neither’?” Nessa piped up.

“That’s right. I was speaking with her just a moment ago.”

Her eyes narrowed again. “So in other words, she’s confused. Confused because this blonde vixen is experimenting with her-“

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

A long, high-pitched scream pierced the air.

It carried on for an unbearably long time. Fiyero resorted to covering his ears. The sound came from a very annoyed and very mistreated Glinda Upland, who had lost the last vestiges of her composure. The Charmed Circle, minus Elphaba, stopped their squabbling. The scream was loud enough for any nearby students to turn and look, if indeed they hadn’t been looking already.

When Glinda stopped, she had the attention of just about everyone in the immediate vicinity. Her face was bright red, not only from the slap but from losing her temper. Not only had she been borderline assaulted, but she’d had her integrity- no, her feelings- questioned in the most invasive way possible.

How dare they say I don’t care about my Elphie! she thought, furious.

Now that she’d achieved her aim of everyone shutting up, she rounded on Fiyero. “Elphie said ‘neither’, you say?”

“… Yes,” he said, rather worried about receiving a slap of his own.

“Well, that’s understandable. I told her to keep everything a secret. She was just respecting my wishes.” She clicked her lips. “You probably pressured her to say yes or no, didn’t you, you Winkie brute!”

“But I-“

“I’m going to clear this up once and for all!” Glinda announced, holding her head up high. “Elphie’s by the humanities building, yes?”

The Winkie prince nodded.

That was all the confirmation she needed. The blonde turned her back on the Charmed Circle and headed in the direction of her ‘girlfriend’, her well-emphasised hips swaying aggressively from side to side.

“W-wait, Glinda! Hold up!” Tibbett followed like a shadow, Crope in close procession, both hoping to assuage her. Nessa came next, accompanied by Boq and then Fiyero, all three of them as desperate for answers as the last.

But it wasn’t only them. By this point, many of the onlookers had grown interested not only in what could have incited such a violent debate, but why exactly the gorgeous Glinda Upland was so worked up. As such, she was soon trailed by a sizeable crowd, one which only grew when other students noticed this unprompted migration of students across campus.

The subject of this furore, one Elphaba Thropp, was waiting impatiently at her specified meeting point. Fiyero had only left her a few minutes ago, but that only deepened her anxiety to see Glinda. She was aware how much could go wrong if they didn’t speak soon.

Regrettably for her, it already had.

When Elphaba noticed the large group of students coming her way, she ignored it at first. The green girl was only looking for one individual. It soon grew too close to ignore, however- particularly when she caught sight of a flash of yellow at the head of the crowd.

Is that… Glinda?

Indeed it was, and what a sight she was greeted with. This wasn’t just Glinda Upland in her natural state of beauty. This was Glinda dressed up, in green, and Elphaba damn near forgot how to think.

What was she wearing? Was it legal to show that much off? Definitely not by Madame Morrible’s standards. Glinda would be in detention until the end of time if the old bat saw her.

Elphaba’s pulse quickened to the speed of light. She’d seen Glinda in showy outfits before- why, she saw her in her nightdress on the regular- but the colour made the likewise green Munchkinlander gulp. If the blonde thought they were dating, could the choice of dress really be incidental?

Suddenly, the blonde was standing before her, and for some reason they had an audience including not only their friends but a great many others. Yet all Elphaba could think about was how wonderful Glinda looked, and how lucky she was to occupy this ludicrous girl’s orbit.

The green girl’s gaze strayed- not downwards, where it was tempted to go- but to their audience.

“Sorry for the confusion. The circus isn’t in town, despite what mine and miss Glinda’s appearance may suggest.”

Her eyes met Glinda’s. The blonde girl’s lip was quivering. There was an unpleasant red mark on her cheek.

Elphaba looked past her to Crope and Tibbett. “I wanted Glinda to meet me, not Glinda and half the faculty,” she remarked, cutting.

Tibbett shrugged helplessly. “Sorry. It just kind’ve happened.”

“You should use that defence in court. I’ve heard it works wonders.” Elphaba turned to Glinda, and her voice softened. “Are you alright-“

“Elphie,” Glinda interrupted, closing the gap between them. “I have a point to prove.” Her contracted eyes danced from Nessa to Fiyero.

“As do we all, my sweet.”

There was a feral look on the blonde’s face. “Oh, always with the ‘my sweets’. You asked me to hold out in your note. I hope you were holding out for me too.”

Elphaba swallowed. She could feel Nessa staring daggers at them and wondered why. “Forever and always. But perhaps we could talk in private-“

Glinda put her finger on the green girl’s lips. “No more talking…” Her voice became husky. “We’re together, aren’t we?”

She was going to say ‘yes, together as roommates’, or some other nonsense. Anything to cover up what Glinda had said.

But nothing could have covered up what happened next.

Thus, in front of Nessa, Boq, Fiyero, Crope, Tibbett, and a great many more curious onlookers, Glinda Upland kissed Elphaba Thropp full on the lips.