'Study' Partners

'Study' Partners

Chapter 3

While Glinda and Elphaba were ensconced in the library, on a ‘study date’ which yielded little studying, Crope and Tibbett had a rendezvous of their own. This time, they chose to reunite in the courtyard of their very own Three Queens college.

The couple’s excitement to see each other was heightened by the day’s revelations. Both were desperate to relay the news that Elphaba and Glinda had told them. Both were hoping the other would fill in the blanks.

Tibbett saw Crope waiting for him by the bushes outside Three Queens and marched over. He didn’t have time to swoon and pretend to faint, falling into his boyfriend’s arms. Tempting though it was, he meant business, and their star-crossed lovers routine would have to wait.

“Crope, dearest,” he rushed, taking his boyfriend’s hands. “What a day I’ve had. Unending drama!” (Just because he meant business didn’t mean he wouldn’t be theatrical about it. This was still Tibbett.)

“Huh. For me, it’s been unending confusion.”

“You spoke to miss Elphaba, I assume?”

“And you spoke to miss Glinda…?”

They both nodded, gripping each other’s hands harder.

“It’s incredible,” Tibbett said, shaking his head.

“It’s strange.”

“It’s confusifying.”

“It’s all of the adjectives, that’s for sure,” Crope muttered. “I just can’t wrap my head round it.”

“Neither can I. Elphaba and Glinda, in a relationship!”

“Exactly, it’s-” Crope trailed off, looking puzzled. “Wait, what?”

“Elphaba and Glinda are together, dearest. Think of it! Glinda and Elphaba, sitting in a tree! I wish I could say this was all part of my matchmaking masterplan, but I have to concede the result was unintentional-“

Crope let go of Tibbett’s hands and stepped back. “Tibbett, please tell me you’re pulling my leg.”

“I’m not pulling anything. That’s what Glinda told me.” He frowned. “Why do you look so worried?”

“Tibbett, that’s not what Elphaba told me at all!” Crope exclaimed.

“Excuse me?”

“She didn’t mention anything about a relationship. All she said was that Glinda had agreed to be her study partner.”

Tibbett’s mouth dropped open. It took some doing to render him speechless- this announcement did so effortlessly.

“That can’t be true, dearest,” he protested. “What did the green girl say, word for word?”

Crope recounted his meeting with Elphaba- how she’d interrupted his friendly chat with Milla, showing no sign whatsoever of the indignation they’d expected. Tibbett then returned the favour, explaining Glinda’s excitement and Elphaba’s invitation to the library.

He began to pace. “At the risk of redundancy, this doesn’t make any sense.”

“You think?!” Crope scratched his head. “Perhaps it’s a reverse prank-“

“I thought that too, but I just spent half the day with Glinda. I’m not sure it’s possible to fake that kind of excitement. It really seemed like she was walking on sunshine.”

“But Elphaba insisted she never brought up a confession.”

“That what in the Wizard’s name is going on?” Tibbett threw up his hands. “There’s no way it can just be a misunderstanding.”

Crope nodded. “Of course. That would be ludicrous.”

“For sure. It would take a woman with zero emotional intelligence whatsoever to flat out not notice they had a girlfriend. No mortal could approach such pure, undiluted cluelessness.”

“It would require the two dumbest people in Oz to be cohabiting, and Elphaba and Glinda are not the two dumbest people in Oz.”

“Spot on.”

“Too right.”

“It couldn’t be a misunderstanding.”

“I’m glad we agree on this.”

They both turned away, exploring other possibilities. Tibbett touched his hand to his face, adopting the classic thinking pose. Crope walked from side to side like a frustrated philosopher.

Then, they both stopped.

They turned and locked eyes.

A horrible sense of realisation dawned on them. It was as if both discovered the meaning of life at the exact same moment.

“Wait…”

“What if…”

“It couldn’t be, could it?” Tibbett whispered.

“That would be absurd, right?” Crope gasped.

“Only… Elphaba may be clever, but extreme intellect doesn’t equate to emotional intelligence. Often, they lie in conflict with each other-”

“And Glinda, while by no means an idiot, can be prone to moments of absolute lunacy. I mean, she did almost believe us when we said that Elphaba had feelings for her. And perhaps… if a part of her wanted this all to be true…”

They stepped closer. “Sweet Oz!” Tibbett exclaimed, covering his mouth to muffle the sound.

“It’s a misunderstanding!”

“It’s not just that. It’s the misunderstanding to end all misunderstandings.”

“And it was our prank that started this. It’s our fault,” Crope uttered, his voice grave.

“N-now wait just a clock tick,” Tibbett blustered. “Sure, we may have lit the fire, but to say it’s all our fault is blatantly untrue. They were the ones who fanned it out of control.”

“Doesn’t matter. We’re toast when they figure it out. Being thrown in the Suicide Canal is the best we could hope for.” Crope’s eyes widened. “Didn’t you say they were meeting in the library?”

“Yes… a meeting which Glinda thinks is romantic, and Elphaba thinks is academic-“

“And you encouraged Glinda to think that, might I add!”

Tibbett shook his head. He’d underestimated the green girl, but it was her social ineptitude he’d underestimated, not her coquettish sensibilities. In hindsight, to think Elphaba had secret game was ridiculous, but how was he supposed to compensate for density on such a scale? She made goldfish look quick on the uptake.

“Well, look on the brightside,” he said sardonically. “It can’t get any worse. They’ll probably realise something’s wrong at the library. Glinda will ask up front if Elphaba invited her to make out, and everything will fall into place.” A sense of dread fell over him. “Why, they might be on the way over right now, pitch forks aloft…”

“We shouldn’t give them too much credit, dearest. If a miscommunication on this scale can happen in the first place, it can damn well continue.” Crope sighed. “There’s nothing else to it. We’ll have to talk to Elphaba-”

“Talk to Elphaba?! Are you bonkers?!”

“Not as much as they are!” Crope tried to lower his voice. “Talking to Elphaba is non-negotiable, Tibbett. We can’t let them carry on like this.”

“Who says they will? Besides, there’s still a chance Elphaba was pulling your leg. Perhaps she pretended not to know about the relationship, knowing it would tie us up in knots? I can’t imagine Glinda was lying, but the green girl could be.”

Crope couldn’t deny that. Elphaba enjoyed practical jokes almost as much as they did. “So what? We leave it for tonight, and ask her tomorrow?”

“I’m not sure what choice we have.” Tibbett checked his watch. “It’s nearly 6pm already. For all we know, they’re back at Crage Hall by now.”

“We both know that’s just an excuse,” Crope warned.

“Well, excuse me for wanting to keep my head on a while longer!” he retorted. “Look. We’ll speak to them before Dr Nikidik’s class tomorrow morning and establish for sure this is really happening. Then, we’ll make a decision about telling Elphaba, if indeed she hasn’t clocked it already.”

 Crope rubbed his eyes. “Oz, this is a mess.”

“It is,” he agreed, “but I’m not sure what else we can do.”

They exchanged helpless looks, and then, on the same wavelength, looked in the direction of Crage Hall.

“Poor Glinda,” Crope muttered. “Did she really seem… you know-“

“Like a girl falling head over heels?” Tibbett finished awkwardly. “She did, yes. I hate to say it, but I got rather swept up in her enthusiasm myself. You know my opinion of it- I think they’d be brilliant together.”

“And for Glinda, this is all brand new.” Crope winced. “To be honest, I can’t a remember a time when I didn’t know I was queer, but Glinda wasn’t raised like that. For her, Elphaba is the first.”

“There’s a chance the two of them have already figured out it was a misunderstanding.”

“Yes.” He sighed. “Our blonde friend’s probably crying her eyes out right now.”

Glinda Upland was not, in fact, crying her eyes out.

“Elphie!” she shrieked, kicking against the bedsheets. “It’s not fair!”

Elphaba only grinned. “Don’t hate the player, hate the game, blondie.”

“That’s a stupid staying. The right approach is to hate both!”

Glinda pushed the chess set aside; the beautifully carved black and white pieces fell over like wounded soldiers, lost in a battlefield of pink. They were playing on Glinda’s bed, although ‘playing’ implied a more nip and tuck experience than what was taking place.

This was, to all intents and purposes, a massacre. Elphaba had just won her fourth straight game, this time through the most humiliating means of all: the Scholar’s Mate. Her sharp brown eyes twinkled with amusement. Glinda’s blue eyes glowered with abject frustration.

“You lied, Elphie,” she accused.

“How did I lie?”

“You said you weren’t very good at chess!”

“And you said you won every time. Evidently, we’re both liars.”

Glinda pouted as Elphaba let out her familiar impish cackle. “But I really did win every time back in Frottica,” she complained.

“The calibre of opponent in Frottica must be very poor indeed. I can only assume they were either infirm or infantile.”

The blonde kicked the bedsheets again. “They were my friends, mostly.”

“Well, if you’re friends in Frottica have anything like the brainpower of Pfannee and Shenshen-“

“Alright alright, I get the picture, Elphaba Thropp. You’re the brightest girl in the world, and I’m the dimmest.”

“Oh no, you’re much brighter and perkier than I am.”

“I was talking about intellect…”

“Chess isn’t all about intellect, my pretty,” Elphaba reasoned, inspecting one of Glinda’s pieces. “We played an awful lot back at Colwen Grounds, and it’s mostly about memorising patterns. Besides, you were smart enough to get into Shiz. I won’t have you pretending to be dim. With a little tutoring, you’d be a match for me in no time.”

“Don’t patronise me,” Glinda muttered, biting her lip. “Let’s face it, you’re the one with the brains.”

“I disagree,” Elphaba said, her voice a little more gentle. She flicked Glinda’s nose with a smile. “If you were half as stupid as you claim, I wouldn’t like you so much.”

The Gilikin girl’s heart thumped at that, and she looked away. “Y-yes, well, I’m sure being blonde and pretty helps,” she tried to joke.

“Liking someone for being pretty would show a painful lack of self-awareness.”

“Now it’s you being self-critical.”

“Self-aware, not self-critical.”

“Oh hush, you,” the blonde said, sitting up. They were separated by the chess-set, but she felt an irrepressible urge to reach over and touch her. “I’ve told you before, you’re beauti-“

“Let’s not descend into mindless ego rubbing,” Elphaba interrupted. Her eyes were fixed on the chess-set, not on Glinda. “Would you like to play again?”

Glinda shook her head. “I wish you wouldn’t do that, Elphie.”

“Do what?”

“Sidestep all my compliments.” She hesitated, then smiled. “There’s so much to compliment, you know.”

Elphaba didn’t respond. She kept fiddling with the chess pieces. “If you don’t want to play again, I’ll put the chess set away.”

Glinda pulled herself closer to Elphaba. She was lying face first and looking up at the green girl, who was sat cross-legged. “Look at you. Always so eloquent, except when it comes to yourself.”

Elphaba sighed. “What do I need to say to change the subject, my sweet?”

“You can start by admitting I’m right.”

“About what?”

Glinda gave her a look. “Elphie. After being manhandled on the chess board, I think I deserve to be indulged.”

“Manhandled, hmm?”

The blonde girl flushed at her own choice of words. “N-nevermind that. I just… I just wish you could you see what I see.”

“Let’s not go there, blondie. Whatever you see is thoroughly disconnected from reality.” Elphaba started to pick the pieces away, one by one.

Glinda put her hand over the chess set, cutting off the getaway. “No, let’s go there.”

“…”

“Elphie, you compliment me all the time. Why aren’t I allowed to do the same?”

“Because my compliments don’t count,” she muttered. “Saying ‘Glinda Upland is beautiful’ is a simple statement of fact. Saying… saying the same about me is just plain wrong.”

There was a pregnant pause, long enough to allow Elphaba to think she’d won. Then, Glinda let out all almighty squeak and sprung up on her knees, shoving her face into Elphaba’s. The green girl recoiled in shock.

“Ahhhh! I can’t stand it Elphie! A pox on your compliment deprived household! Not even Nessie’s allowed off the hook. She let this happen too, you know!”

“I-is this really necessary, blondie?”

Glinda put her hands on her hips. “I won’t let this go on any further. You, Elphaba Thropp, are beautiful, and I don’t want to a hear a word in edgeways!”

“That’s-“

“Nope, you’re beautiful!”

“Glinda-“

“Beautiful.”

“This is-“

“Beau. Ti. Ful!” she said, carefully enunciating every syllable. The Gilikin girl shoved her face right up in Elphaba’s again, grabbing her by the shoulders so she couldn’t recoil.

The green girl’s eyes were wide. “Why are you-”

“Why am I what, you beautiful green thing?”

Elphaba swallowed and looked at the chess set. “Stop saying that word.”

“What word?”

“That adjective.”

“Green or beautiful?”

Elphaba shook her head. “Glinda… please. Just stop saying it.”

“Nope. I’ll say it over and over and over again until you believe me.”

She winced. “You’d be here awhile, my sweet.”

“Well…” Glinda felt that wave of affection coursing through her, and her eyes glimmered. “I d-don’t mind staying with you awhile, Elphie.”

“And what happens when you realise I’ll never believe you?”

“Then I’ll keep saying it over and over again.”

“Why?”

“So you don’t forget it.”  

Elphaba said nothing. The blonde brought her hand to her roommate’s cheek, carefully lifting her face so their eyes met. She didn’t remove her hand afterwards.

“Won’t you at least admit that beauty is in the eye of the beholder?” Glinda asked, her voice soft.

The green girl tutted, but it sounded more bittersweet than annoyed. “Yes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But there are some types of beauty which surpass the need for a beholder at all, and others which very much require it.”

“And yours is the latter? Is that what you’re saying, Elphie?”

“No,” she said tiredly. “It’s more that yours is the former.”

Glinda frowned, stubborn. “I’m not going to let this go-“

“I can see that. Of late, you seem unable to let me go either.” Elphaba wriggled herself free of Glinda’s grasp and jumped off the bed, chess set in hand.

She headed over to her side of the room, shoving the gameboard into a drawer, fully aware that Glinda was staring at her. Once Elphaba had her breath back, free of Glinda’s touch, she gathered her courage.  

“I appreciate you only have the best intentions at heart, Glinda, but you must understand, I’ve…” She searched in vain for the right words. “… I’ve made peace with how I am. You’re only trying to be supportive, I see that, but there’s no need. Your tolerance is more than enough.”

Glinda moved forward and perched on the side of her bed. She was half-tempted to tap her thighs, beckoning Elphaba back over as if she were a sulking cat. The image of the green girl hissing with flattened ears made her giggle.

“Elphie… I’ve done a little more than tolerate you.” Glinda shook her head fondly. She remembered what Elphaba said earlier and decided to fire it straight back. “If you were half as repulsive as you claim, I wouldn’t like you so much. I’m blonde and shallow, remember?”

Elphaba tutted once more, but the warm feeling overtook her anyway, the feeling like being wrapped up in a dozen blankets. Worse yet was the tiny twinge of hope in her chest that suddenly, under the gaze of someone like Glinda, didn’t feel too unreasonable.

“That’s a dangerous little magic trick of yours, my pretty,” she mumbled. “You say the most ridiculous things, and I almost believe you.”

Glinda squealed on the inside. She brought her knees together, just about stopping herself from bouncing up and down on the bed. How could Elphie be so unaware of how cute she was? You’re like kittens playing with bunnies on a fluffy little cloud!

She didn’t say it aloud, but her eyes did. Elphaba swallowed, embarrassed, and once more tried to divert their attention away from her.

“Perhaps we should get some sleep? For you, luck is just something to be pushed.”

Glinda wanted to protest, but it was true. They had long since changed into their pink and black nightdresses; Glinda had elongated the evening by asking for a chess match when the topic happened to come up. Their nights as roommates often became glorified sleepovers, but more so than ever, Glinda wanted Elphaba’s undivided attention. They weren’t just roommates anymore.

The green girl turned off the lamp by her bedside table, signalling her intent. Glinda cleared her throat as loudly as possible.

At first, Elphaba pretended to be deaf, so Glinda did so once more, then once more, until her ‘girlfriend’ spun round.

“Yes, miss Glinda?” she said, feeling rather like a schoolteacher with an errant student.

Glinda sat up straight. “Aren’t you forgetting-“

“If you’re about to ask for a goodnight kiss, then so help me.”

The Gilikin girl went red. “… That predictable, huh?”

“Yes, you are. You’ve been acting like this all day,” Elphaba pointed out.

“Hey! You asked for this, Elphie!” she huffed, crossed her arms. “It might be intimidating at first, but if you want Glinda Upland, you get all of her. S-so what if I’m a little needy? You act like you don’t have any needs at all!”

Elphaba crossed her arms in return. How, exactly, had she asked for this? By agreeing to be Glinda’s friend, however many months ago? She supposed it was her fault for never refusing when Glinda pushed the boundaries of what, for her, was comfortable physical contact. She always conceded, unable to concede to herself the reason why.

The Munchkinlander scoffed, in an attempt to play it off. “Really. If you acted like this in public, people would think we were dating.”

That took the wind out of Glinda’s sails.

She grimaced. Elphaba was right, of course. She was always right. In this case, she was pointing out Glinda’s hypocrisy. She’d ask for these things in private, but in public she wanted to pretend they weren’t in a relationship.

Frustrated at her lack of an argument, Glinda opened and closed her mouth a couple of times before slapping the duvet. “Fine,” she mumbled, a guilty irony creeping into her voice. “Like you said, Elphie, it’s not as if we’re dating.”

Elphaba, of course, picked up on all of the guilt and none of the irony. With her lips pressed into a thin line, she continued getting ready, and Glinda followed suit.

Soon, they were both tucked up in bed, one stealing glances at the other, one pretending the other wasn’t doing so.

“I’m going to turn my light off, Glinda,” Elphaba said evenly. “I’d appreciate it if you did the same.”

“…”

Her silence spoke volumes. Elphaba reminded herself to be firm. She reached over to turn the light off.

And, as usual, she caved.

“Glinda?”

The blonde was already curled up in her bedsheets, irked at the anticlimactic ending to their first day together. “Yes, Elphie?”

“…” Elphaba looked from side to side, as if double-checking that no one was watching. Then, she brought her fingers to her lips, hand trembling a little, and blew Glinda a kiss.

“G-goodnight, my sweet.”

She then turned off the light and lay down, facing the other way, hoping to avoid the consequences of her actions. Namely, a very very pleased Glinda Upland.

The dopamine hit was immense. Kittens! Bunnies! Clouds! Elphie! This time, she shoved her face into the pillow to muffle the squeal.

“Hehehe... Goodnight, beautiful.”

With that, she turned off her light too, casting the room into darkness.

A little later, Elphaba said, “… I told you not to say that word.”

Glinda smiled and acted as if she were asleep.

The next morning, Crope and Tibbett left Three Queens college bright and early- already a horrific disruption to their daily routine. Neither of them had a lecture until later that morning, but half the Charmed Circle had Dr Nikidik’s class, including Elphaba and Glinda.

Crope proposed waiting right outside Crage Hall, but Tibbett suggested the Suicide Canal. Elphaba and Glinda would have to cross it to reach the history auditorium anyway; waiting by Crage Hall would probably alert the Gilikin girl something was wrong. She’d be correct, but they wanted to make sure of everything first.

They’d been discussing the matter on the walk over from Three Queens. Upon arrival at the bridge, said discussion was still ongoing.

“Are you sure we’re not on the wrong side of a misunderstanding ourselves?” Tibbett said, massaging his temples. “If it turns out we’re mistaken-“

“I hope we are mistaken. Unfortunately, I don’t have that much faith in them,” Crope said. “I really think our instincts are correct.”

“Even so, we should tread carefully…”

“Of course. It should be Elphaba’s prerogative to tell Glinda the truth. The bad news would be horrendible coming from us.”

Tibbett kicked a stone on the bank; it landed in the canal with a small splash. “I wish I still thought Elphaba was a seductress in disguise.”

Crope raised an eyebrow. “I can’t believe you thought that was more likely than a misundersta-”

“It wasn’t clear, okay!?“

“Don’t you start-“

“Oh. Good morning, you two.”

Crope and Tibbett jumped into each other’s arms on instinct. “Who’s there?!” they yelped.

An amused looking pair of boys were looking down at them from the bridge. “It’s only us. Careful, you might fall in the river,” one of them said.

Crope and Tibbett disentangled themselves. The latter scowled at them. “Boq, Fiyero. Lurline, you nearly gave us a heart attack.”

“I can see that,” Fiyero drawled. “It would’ve been poetic, dying in each other’s arms.”

“There’s a higher chance of that happening than you think,” Crope muttered, earning an elbow in the side from his partner in crime.

Boq and Fiyero walked down from the bridge and joined them on the bank. The Munchkin’s hair was tousled, as if he’d been forced out of bed, and the Vinkun had his hands in his pockets, the blue diamonds tattoed across his ochre-skin all the more visible in the light. 

“What brings you two here?” Boq asked.

“I hope we aren’t interrupting something,” Fiyero said, with his usual delivery.

Tibbett dusted himself off. “Of course not. That would be absurd. Preposterous, even.”

“Why?”

“We only make out by the Suicide Canal on Fridays and weekends,” he declared, as if that were common knowledge.

“Huh. What’s the usual location on a Tuesday?”

“Why, looking to join in?”

He winked at Tibbett. “You wish.”

“Don’t tempt us-“

“Anyway,” Boq interrupted with a cough. “You didn’t actually answer my question.”

Crope and Tibbett exchanged a look. After some subliminal messaging, the former answered, “Do we need a reason to take a stroll by the river on such a fine morning?”

“We’d be poor Shiz students indeed not to take advantage of the scenery,” Tibbett added with a flourish.

Fiyero laughed. “Poor Shiz students is exactly what you are.”

“Said the pot to the kettle,” Crope retorted. “Besides, I could say the same to you. Both of you have history this morning, which is right next to Briscoe Hall.” His eyes narrowed. “In fact, the Suicide Canal is on the complete opposite side of campus.”

Boq and Fiyero went silent. They too exchanged a look, but the subliminal messaging wasn’t quite so subtle.

“Oh, uh…” Boq scratched his head. “We were, um-“

“We also wanted to take advantage of the scenery,” Fiyero cut in. “Believe me, a breath of fresh air is needed before Dr Nikidik’s class.”

“T-too right,” Boq continued. “Wow, what a fabulous morning!”

Crope and Tibbett frowned, but didn’t think much of it. They had bigger things on their mind than Boq and Fiyero.

They moved on with the conversation. Fiyero asked what they’d been talking about, but the pair played it off. The group ended up leaning against the stone wall of the bridge, planning another trip to the Peach and Kidneys.

Tibbett kept glancing towards Crage Hall, eager for a glimpse of green and pink. If he’d been more aware of his surroundings, he would’ve noticed Boq and Fiyero doing the same.

After ten minutes or so, all four of them got their wish.

Elphaba and Glinda emerged from Crage Hall in the same fashion they had the previous morning. The green girl hadn’t bothered to protest Glinda’s linking of their arms, though it made her nerves tingle. The blonde, on the other hand, was determined to compensate for the disparity between their private and public relationship.

Glinda risked a few stares by resting her head against her girlfriend’s shoulder. Elphaba had to warn herself about overthinking again. So what if Glinda’s blonde curls felt wonderfully soft against her cheek? Ignorance was bliss.

The Gilikin girl had taken a shower that morning and used a new shampoo. Her hair had an earthy, almost woodland scent, rather like one of Elphaba’s favourite bathing oils. She dared to ask her roommate about the choice.

Glinda removed her head from Elphaba’s shoulder, smiling. “You noticed! Do you like it?”

“It’s… tolerable.”

“Try again.”

Elphaba obliged on automatic. “You smell like a bed of roses, my pretty.”

“Is a bed of roses only tolerable?” Glinda challenged, teasingly.

She sighed. “I asked you because I thought it was a lovely smell. It’s much more than tolerable.”

“That’s better.” Glinda rested her head back against Elphaba’s shoulder. It hid her face a little. “I chose it for you.”

Elphaba kept up their pace. She didn’t want to show how much that affected her. “R-really, my sweet?”

“Yes. It smells like one of your oils, doesn’t it?”

“… Oh.” She’d thought that was a coincidence.

Glinda, you must be careful. There are lots of people who would take that the wrong way. She grimaced, imagining what would happen if Boq were in her place. He’d probably be entering cardiac arrest by now.

Glinda should count herself lucky she was talking to the campus green girl, who was immune to such things. Yes, totally immune.

Crope happened to notice them first. He saw the way they were walking, arm in arm, head on shoulder. Elphaba seemed to be a willing participant in the embrace- he felt a glimmer of hope. Perhaps they really had been mistaken?

“Why, it’s the two terrors of Crage Hall,” he called out, at a helpful volume. “And it looks like they’re coming our way!”

Tibbett, Boq and Fiyero all straightened up. Elphaba and Glinda themselves noticed the four of them by the bridge.

The green girl was surprised, but didn’t slow her pace, nor feel any need to let go of Glinda’s arm. It was a friendly gesture, and thus appropriate around other friends.

But Glinda removed her head from Elphaba’s shoulder. It’s fine Glinda, she insisted within. Crope and Tibbett already know about us. Boq and Fiyero may not, but I’m sure they’d be accepting. Right?

She was determined to keep their arms locked. The more they showed public affection, the more normal it would start to feel. Glinda peered at Elphaba and took courage from the assured expression on her face.

“My, what a terrifying assortment of troublemakers,” Elphaba quipped. “I hope you weren’t planning to jump us.”

“Not quite,” Tibbett said.

“At least Avaric hasn’t joined you. That would have really ruined my morning.”

“Oh, he’s not so bad,” Boq said. “Most of the time.”

“But you’re not, as he puts it, the ‘highly strung bean’.”

Glinda had been protective of Elphaba for awhile- after their recent developments, she was beginning to feel like a blonde mother bear. “Did he really call you that?”

“I think he’s compared me to every vegetable in Oz, and a few beyond. It’ll be the fruit next.”

Fiyero gave her a wry smirk. “Well, that’s not an insult. Most of us are fruity here.”

“Speak for yourself, Chieftain Tigelaar,” Elphaba retorted, smirking back.

“I always do.” His smirk hardened a little. “Next time Avaric says something like that, I’ll call him out on it. You deserve better than that, Fae.”

“Still calling me Fae, I see.”

“Well, it beats Avaric’s nickname, right?”

She laughed. “I seem to have acquired a shocking array of nicknames: Fae, Fabala, Elphie and a hundred permutations on the colour ‘green’. Remind me what my actual name is again?”

Glinda squeezed her unwitting girlfriend’s arm. “It doesn’t matter. Elphie’s the only one you need.”

Fiyero looked in the mood to debate that, but Crope and Tibbett were keen to move things along. It was hard to tell if Elphaba knew about her ‘relationship’ in a group setting.

“You know, I think this meeting is a blessing in disguise,” Crope announced. “We’d like a moment alone, if that’s alright with you, miss Elphaba?”

Elphaba raised an eyebrow. His voice had a light tone, but she sensed there would be more to this conversation than Crope and Tibbett’s usual high jinks.

“Alright, but you’ll have to be quick. Our lecture’s starting soon.”

The green girl pulled herself free of her roommate’s arm. The blonde, however, had other ideas.

“Surely whatever you can say to Elphie, you can say to me?” Glinda questioned, a little petulant. She remembered well what happened the last time Crope and Tibbett pulled her aside.

“Not to worry, my pretty,” Elphaba said, waving her off. “I’m more than capable of handling these two idiots.”

You’re the real idiots here, Crope and Tibbett thought. Nonetheless, they spared Glinda a sympathetic look and guided Elphaba further down the embankment.

At the very same time, Fiyero sensed his opportunity. He coughed, drawing the Gilikin’s girl attention. “Hey, uh, Glin? This has worked out pretty well, actually. I was hoping to have a chat with you.”

“Go ahead,” she said, eyes fixed on Crope, Tibbett and Elphaba.

“No, I meant alone.” He gave Boq a friendly slap. “You don’t mind, right?”

“Not at all,” the Munchkin replied. They’d come here for this very reason.

Glinda blinked. “If we must?”

Fiyero nodded, his lips pressed into an uncomfortable line. He led Glinda out of earshot.

This did have the unfortunate consequence of leaving Boq on his own. Wow. I’m not just third wheeling- I’m sixth wheeling. He’d only agreed to accompany Fiyero out of courtesy. The Munchkinlander stood there like a lemon. Was this what Fiyero meant by the word ‘fruity’?

Fiyero positioned himself right in front of Glinda, obstructing her view of Elphaba. This was a problem for the blonde; she was extremely interested in what Crope and Tibbett had to say and extremely uninterested in Fiyero. She tried to peer over his shoulder, towards where her ‘girlfriend’ was being accosted.

“Okay…” Fiyero scratched the back of his head. “This is probably gonna be awkward, Glin, but-“

Glinda nodded, absent-minded. Her attention was on Elphaba, Crope and Tibbett, and them alone. It seemed obvious to her what they were talking about. It had to be about her, or else about her and Elphie’s relationship.

“-get it, this is coming out of the blue-“

She shook her head in frustration. How dare they exclude her! Didn’t they know who she was? If it concerned Elphie, it concerned her too. She needed to get over there right away.

“-viously, I’d really like to get your-“

If only Fiyero wasn’t so broad-shouldered, she’d have a better view. Glinda craned her neck as much as possible, fighting against her below average height and the Winkie’s suitably prince-like physique.

“-that okay, Glin?”

She realised he’d finished speaking. Glinda had, it would be fair to say, zoned out.

“Sorry, could you repeat that last part?” she asked, in a valiant attempt to sound as if she was otherwise on-board.

He scratched his head again. There was a stiffness to his posture. “I said, is that okay, Glin?”

Glinda’s eyes flickered back to Crope, Tibbett and Elphaba. They were speaking in hushed but urgent tones. She had to get over there, right now.

“Oh, yes, Fifi. That’s okay,” she agreed.

The Winkie blinked. “It is?”

“Of course!” She tilted her head, fishing for a vague sense of whatever he’d been wittering on about. “Any reason it wouldn’t be?”

“Oh, uh…” He looked sheepish. “No? I just thought checking was the right thing to do. It’s only been a month, y’know.”

Oh. He’s checking up on me after the break-up. She put her hand to her chest, rather touched. Fiyero had been as attentive a boyfriend as any she’d had; it was good they were still friends. If only he’d chosen a different time.

“Don’t you worry Fifi, it’s fine. In fact, it’s just peachy.”

“Huh… it’s all good then?”

“Absolutely. No need to sour those good looks with thoughts of your ex.”

He laughed, letting out some of the tension. “Damn. I feel kinda silly for getting all worried about it now. That’s mature of you Glin, really.”

“Why, did you not think I was mature?”

His expression immediately sobered, but she waved it off. “I’m teasing you, silly boy.” She giggled as a mischievous thought crept into her mind. “After all, the grass is always greener on the other side.”

Fiyero seemed taken back at her joke, but a boyish, happy smile soon took over his face. He flicked his hair. “Hah! I guess you’re right.”

“No change there then.” Glinda clapped her hands. “Well, now that’s sorted out, I must be off. I’m a little worried what Crope and Tibbett are telling my gi-“ She had to cut herself off. “M-my girlie.”

“Fair enough. Knowing them, it’s nothing good.”

Glinda dashed passed him and Boq in a flash- her speed was impressive in such a towering pair of heels. Boq watched her go in amazement. He’d kept one eye on her and Fiyero’s conversation, expecting a much different kind of reaction.

He soon found himself distracted by the sway of the Gilikin’s girls hips, however. Wow, she really is something…

Fiyero, who’d walked up behind, slapped him on the back. “Don’t mind me, just sending some Nessa-related thoughts your way.”

Boq jumped. “W-what do you mean? All I have are Nessa-related thoughts.”

“Sure you do...”

The Munchkin moved to change the topic. “So, uh, how did that go? Better than expected?”

“Yeah. Much better, in fact.” Fiyero shook his head, just as amazed as Boq. “To be honest, I got the sense she was happy for me.”

“That’s good, right? It’s what you wanted to hear.”

“Sure, but even so.” He watched as his ex strode away. “Glin really does surprise you sometimes.”

While all this was happening, Elphaba and the Terrible Two were engaged in a conversation of their own. After leading the green girl towards the riverside, they both signalled for the other to speak.

Elphaba looked at them, bemused. “Boys? You two may be able to share thoughts telepathically, but I myself am not privy to them.”

Tibbett was forced to take the initiative. “So…” He stretched his arms. It didn’t look as casual as he hoped. “You and miss Glinda, huh?”

“What about us?”

“It’s alright, you don’t have to keep the secret from Crope and I,” he pressed. “Glinda told me about it yesterday.”

“Oh.” She shrugged. “Yes, we’ve partnered up for the history project. If you ask me, she’s making a fuss over nothing, but I’m not one to disrespect her wishes.”

Damn it all. She doesn’t know. Tibbett’s eyes shifted back to his boyfriend helplessly. Crope was pinching the bridge of his nose.

Elphaba frowned. “Do you not agree?”

“Well, um…” Tibbett sucked on his bottom lip. “Everybody’s different.”

“Is that why you wanted to talk to me? To dispense platitudes?” Elphaba was not impressed. “I’m something of an expert at being different, you know.”

“We’re not debating that.” He tried to think of the easiest way to tell her. “… Okay, how about this. You might be the expert, but has Glinda also been acting differently the last few days?”

“How do you mean?”

“Oh, you know. Has she had any, um… rapid changes of mood?”

“You realise this is Glinda we’re talking about? Rapid changes of mood are her forte,” she deadpanned.

“But even more so than usual?”

Elphaba thought about it. As much as she’d tried to play it off as ‘typical Glinda’, she couldn’t deny her roommate had been acting… strangely. It all started when she got back from the Peach and Kidneys. The blonde been all the over place the whole evening, and the less said about their library visit the better.

Worse still had been Glinda’s rather literal interpretation of a hands-on policy. The past two days, she’d been treating their friendship like a contact sport. Why, in the library she’d even demanded an apology kiss!

But on the other hand…

Elphaba decided to voice her thoughts aloud. “You may be right, Tibbett. She has been acting differently, I can’t deny that, but… I’m not sure if it’s a bad thing.”

Tibbett’s eyes widened. “How do you mean?”

“Well…” The green girl, for once, didn’t really know how to express herself. “It’s true that Glinda’s mood has been all over the place, but at the same time, there’s been a certain consistency to it all. She’s been smiling a lot, laughing a lot... Why, yesterday she even seemed to enjoy being in the library.” She smiled. “Overall, I can’t help but think this is the happiest I’ve ever seen her.”

Tibbett tried to smile through the pain. “Is that so?”

“Yes. So, although she’s been acting differently, I’m not too worried.” Elphaba fiddled with her sleeve. “Is that clear?”

“Crystal,” he said through gritted teeth. Don’t mind me, I’m just going to hop right into this appropriately named canal.

“Why are you asking?” Elphaba turned on Crope. “You mentioned teasing her about Fiyero yesterday.”

Crope, now thrust into the limelight, was also struggling. “Ah… I did say that, didn’t I?”

“Indeed. I asked her if she still had feelings for Fiyero, and-”

“Excuse me?” he squeaked, voice cracking like an acne-ridden teenager.

“I asked her if she still had feelings for Fiyero,” the green girl reiterated, “and she said I had nothing to worry about it. Strange, right?”

Just like his boyfriend, Crope stole a glance at the canal. Perhaps Elphaba wouldn’t notice if he jumped in? Given what he’d just heard, it wasn’t out of the question.

Tibbett, however, had heard enough. The situation wasn’t just bad- it was apocalyptic. Elphaba’s well-meaning density and Glinda’s doe-eyed affection were a lethal combination. It couldn’t be allowed to fester any more than it had.

He stepped forward. “Miss Elphaba, there’s something I have-

“Still…” Elphaba glanced over her shoulder at Glinda, who was talking with Fiyero. The Gilikin girl was laughing at something the Winkie had said, one of those irrepressibly bright smiles adorning her face. It was the kind of smile that prompted a smile from everyone in the vicinity, no matter how bitter or cynical. Elphaba was certainly that.

She smiled too. “Still… As long as she’s happy, we shouldn’t worry. That’s the most important thing.”

Tibbett glanced between the two girls, just about ready to tear his hair out. Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no oh no... However I say it, I’m going to break someone’s heart!

Elphaba turned back to him. “My apologies. What were you saying?”

“I… I…” He opened and closed his mouth. “It’s just that… Glinda is… You and Glinda…”

“What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue?”

Tibbett couldn’t do it. How could he, after being told how happy Glinda was, and seeing it firsthand? How could he, after seeing that beautiful little smile on Elphaba’s face? It was a smile that could only mean one thing; he knew the feeling well.

Crope saw his boyfriend’s indecision and stepped forward himself.

“Don’t mind Tibbett, dearie,” he said, trying to be decisive. “What’s he trying to say is that… is that…”

By now, Elphaba’s infamous impatience was returning. “Oh for Oz’s sake, out with it!” She checked her watch. “Dr Nikidik’s class is starting imminently.”

Crope hesitated, suddenly understanding how Tibbett felt. “Right, yes… What we’re trying to say is that-“

“What are you three talking about, and why is it me?”

At that exact moment, Glinda Upland pounced on her roommate from behind, draping her arm around Elphaba’s neck. Crope and Tibbett froze.

The green girl went stiff at the sudden contact, but didn’t immediately pull away. “Glinda,” she mumbled. “You’re doing it again.”

“All I’m doing, Elphaba Thropp, is gatecrashing a gossip session,” she scolded. “Don’t lie, I know you were talking about me. Everyone does.”

Elphaba looked at Crope and Tibbett, her eyes screaming ‘help’. Unfortunately, they were in dire need of help themselves.

Glinda noticed and smirked. “I knew it. Go on then, what were you saying?”

Tibbett bit his lip. He was painfully aware of Glinda’s arm draped around her ‘girlfriend’. It also hadn’t escaped his notice that Elphaba, despite her discomfort, wasn’t pushing Glinda away. I can’t do it. It will break Glinda’s heart.

He looked at his feet, in one final act of cowardice, and gave up.

Crope swore under his breath and tried to take back control of the situation. “Glinda, Elphaba, we have to tell you something.”

Elphaba rolled her eyes. “You’ve said that about three times now, without any results. I hate being late for class.”

“And I hate being the subject of gossip without express knowledge that the gossip is positive,” Glinda said, preening herself. “Do tell.”

Crope balled his fists together. “I… We… We were talking about how…”

Elphaba and Glinda looked at him curiously. Tibbett looked at him with a slim ray of hope.

But Crope’s voice weakened. “… We were talking about how happy you two seemed,” he muttered, defeated.

“That’s all you had to say?” Elphaba removed herself from Glinda’s grip, annoyed. “What a waste of time.” She touched Glinda’s shoulder. “I don’t want to be any later than we are now. Join me, my sweet?”

“Oh I will, Elphie! One moment with Crope and Tibbett here and I’ll be on my way.”

The green girl nodded. She turned heel and gave the Charmed Circle another virtuoso performance of the famed ‘late-for-lecture-power-walk’. Crope wanted to call her back, but could only watch in hopeless surrender as she crossed the bridge. Boq and Fiyero, realising the time themselves, followed.

Glinda spun around, giving Crope and Tibbett a death stare. “Alright. I know there was more to it than that.”

“Regrettably, there wasn’t,” Tibbett rasped, his eyes still on the floor.

“You’re sure? I, the Queen of Gossiping, will find out if you’re lying. Believe me.”

“There’s nothing to find out,” he insisted. “We really were just talking about how happy you are.”

“Really? Well then…” Her eyes brightened straight away. “That’s sweet, boys! I’m glad at least someone knows me and Elphie are an item.”

“Yes, it would be sad if you were the only one,” Crope said, his voice drier than the Deadly Desert.

“You’re so right!” Glinda tossed her hair. “Oh, I’ve just had the most splendiferous idea. When everyone knows about us, we should double-date!”

“… Sounds great, dearie,” Tibbett managed.

“Naturally.” She gave them a wave, chasing after her fellow friends. “See you later, boys! And remember what I said about the double-date!”

As soon as Glinda was gone, Crope and Tibbett turned on each other, a murderous glint in their eyes.

“You didn’t tell them,” Crope hissed.

“Neither did you!” Tibbett hissed back.

“Ugh, I knew you’d chicken out-“

“Chicken out?! Honey, I took pity on them!” he protested. “I mean, did you hear what the green girl said? ‘This is the happiest I’ve ever seen her’? How was I supposed to tell her the truth after that?!”

“Oh please! This prank was all your idea in the first place-“

“An idea that you went along with!”

“Oz, if you didn’t have such a pretty face, I’d slap you right now,” Crope spat.

“Well, if you’re nose wasn’t so bloody cute, I’d break it!”

“Just try it!”

“No, you just try it!”

(The argument carried on like this for quite some time. No punches were thrown.)

On the other side of the canal, Glinda quickly caught up with her roommate, overtaking Boq and Fiyero in the process. The two boys were talking in lowered voices. Elphaba and Glinda strode ahead, undeterred by their lack of company. Glinda rejoined their arms, thrilled at the very prospect.

The Winkie prince’s eyes were fixed on one of the girls ahead of him. He sighed. “How does she do it?”

“Do what?”

“Do… that,” Fiyero said, gesturing in her vague direction. He sounded genuinely baffled. “She never turns off. I don’t understand how one person can be so driven. It’s insane.”

Boq snorted. “The only insane one here is you.”

“I can’t help it,” he murmured, tired. “Believe me, I’ve tried.”

“I know, Fiyero. I’m the one who’s had to listen to your moping for the past... however many months?” The Munchkin nudged him. “Look, at least you won’t have to worry about it much longer.”

“You’re right.” Fiyero shook his head. “You know what’s weird? I was kinda hoping Glin would make a fuss, and say no.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. In a way, it would’ve made things easier. I could’ve gone back to pretending, like I was before.”

“That’s not a long term solution,” Boq said quietly.

“Of course not,” the Winkie prince agreed. “But it would’ve been easier. Instead, Glin gave me her blessing.”

“So this is it? Today’s really the day?”

“Yeah.” Fiyero exhaled, nervous but determined. “Today, I’m gonna tell Fae how I feel about her.”