The Dead in the Night
Chapter Six: The Dead in the Night
"My transformations in those days were — were terrible. It is very painful to turn into a werewolf. I was separated from humans to bite, so I bit and scratched myself instead. The villagers heard the noise and the screaming and thought they were hearing particularly violent spirits."
-J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Remus Lupin was one of the worst people Dumbledore could have picked for the DADA position. Sadly, he was also one of the best.
Remus wondered idly whether the curse on the DADA position had been made up by the headmaster for his own sake. A Voldemort sympathizer? A useless celebrity? Remus knew that Albus was desperate, but he thought Hogwarts would have done a more thorough background check on his applicants. And even as desperate as Remus himself was for the position, he couldn't see his own employment ending well.
But he wanted it to. The hopeful part of him, the part he thought had died years ago in Godric's Hollow, had even tried to rationalize it. His years at Hogwarts had been the happiest of his life. And he had been able to hide his lycanthropy at Hogwarts better than he ever had as an adult. The idea to hide his condition again, to teach others, and to be treated as an equal was completely appealing.
But nothing good in Remus's life ever lasted.
His childhood friends were dead or traitorous. Peter? Dead. James and Lily? Dead. Parents? Dead. Sirius? A murderer, and half out of his mind. Harry? Kidnapped. And Remus had never kept any romantic relationships for very long, unable to stand the thought of burdening someone with the nature of his condition. He almost had once…. Marlene McKinnon. And then she had died too, along with the rest of her family.
He had never been able to keep a job, either, or at least one that bothered to check the werewolf registry. Finding a place that was willing to rent to him was difficult as well, especially when finding rent money each month was a challenge.
If the position at Hogwarts did work out, he was tempted to let his lease expire. Along with an unbeatable benefits package, he would access to lodgings far superior than this squalor. His landlord, in an effort to squeeze every ounce of gold out of a galleon, had converted the apartment's boiler room into a tenancy without making any effort to make the space actually livable. While Remus had managed to develop a series of cooling spells, the infestation of flitterbies that settled in before his arrival were unstoppable, as they had been drawn to the boiler's heat.
He had never loathed the creatures before. They were harmless moths, a pretty shade of orange that glowed and hummed as they flapped about. But they were everywhere in Remus's apartment, their constant hums keeping him up throughout the night. If Remus went to get a bagel? Flitterbies in his cabinet. If Remus went to use the restroom? Flitterbies in the toilet. Flitterbies on his toothbrush. Flitterbies on his comb. Flitterbies everywhere.
The one-room apartment didn't even have a loo until he spent his own money and spellwork "renovating" one. And as a place that was willing to turn a blind eye to werewolf occupants, the landlord also turned a blind eye to known criminals, which left Remus with all sorts of interesting neighbors.
And yet, Remus was still afraid to let the place go. Because if something did happen and he lost his employment with Hogwarts, it would be incredibly difficult to find another place to live. He loathed the idea of becoming like some of his brethren, living like wildmen in the woods. He had done enough of that during his spying days, and he wasn't eager to return to it.
And, perhaps most importantly, the boiler room was surprisingly the best place he could have picked for his own transformations.
Since the room was never intended to be livable, the floors, the walls, everything was made of steel. Which meant that while the place could hurt him, as evidenced by the burns and bruises he occasionally woke up with after his transformations, his wolf side couldn't damage the a hefty bit of spellwork and warding, he had proofed the place to prevent his escape, for those dreaded months where couldn't dig up enough money to buy wolfsbane potions.
Which was yet another ironic benefit included with Hogwarts. He had a world renown potions' master available to brew Wolfsbane for free. Remus had idly wondered whether Severus Snape would be tempted to use too much aconite "on accident", but it was a risk Remus was willing to take, given Severus's surprising loyalty to Dumbledore. And he would like to believe that, as adults, they would be able to put their pasts behind them.
Remus sighed at the thought, looking at the pile of papers that had accumulated on his desk. He should have been focusing on finishing his class syllabus instead of letting his anxieties get the best of him. He grabbed a quill and dipped it into a bit of ink, intending to start again. But the room turned a shade of green and the fireplace roared briefly behind him, causing the flutterbies to shriek. He turned, startled.
Nobody had entered, it was a "knock", so to speak, so he could grant or deny any visitors access. But Remus didn't know anyone that would want to visit him, especially at this hour. Having just recovered from a transformation, Remus could sense the waxing moon as easily as he felt its lingering ache in his bones.
Swallowing, the newly appointed professor rose, casting a spell as he walked towards the floo. The fireplace flashed, a face peering back at him through the green flames.
Kingsley Shacklebolt.
Now that was a face he hadn't seen in a long time. They had occasionally run into one another during the War, although Shacklebolt was just a rookie auror then, not even a member of the Order. To be honest, Remus barely knew the man. Remus had reported his findings among the werewolves to a contact or to Albus directly, having little to do with the aurors or the Order directly. It was one of the many reasons that James and Sirius had come to lose their trust in Remus towards the end, although Remus supposed Sirius's distrust had merely been a ruse, a way to pin the blame on Remus rather than himself.
"Ah, Remus Lupin, yes? It's been quite some time. I apologize for intruding at such an hour."
"That's quite alright, although I have to admit I'm a bit puzzled. I had myself convinced that you had flooed the wrong chimney." Remus chuckled, offering an uneasy smile. "Would you like to meet somewhere? I would recommend my apartment, but it's not quite-er-suitable for visitors."
Shacklebolt winced at this, apparently having intended on exactly that.
"I've seen worse, I assure you, and the matter is rather urgent. May I come in?"
Remus nodded, but realizing the movement might be a bit obscured by the flames, said as such.
"Good." Shacklebolt smiled, relieved. Shacklebolt's face disappeared, and the flames roared once more, this time the man's full figure walking through the soot. The wizard coughed, wheezing as he breathed something that didn't agree with him. Remus had to stifle his horror as the auror spat out a flitterby, looking rather aghast at the insect remains in his guest's hands.
"Er….told you. Sorry, got a nasty infestation of them. Good thing Hogwarts didn't hire me for the Magical Creatures position, yeah?" Remus joked, conjuring a set of chairs for them to sit in. "How can I help you, Auror Shacklebolt?"
Attempting to compose himself, Shacklebolt chose to remain standing, although he looked ready to collapse in exhaustion. The senior auror appeared as if he hadn't slept or eaten properly in days, and it suddenly occurred to Remus why. Sirius's escape. Of course. That had to be what Shacklebolt wanted to speak about, but what more could the auror ask him that hadn't been asked before? And why so urgent? Shacklebolt looked around inquisitively, muttering a spell under his breath that Remus recognized as a diagnostic spell.
What, did the wizard think that Remus was harboring a known fugitive? That Sirius was tucked up the chimney somewhere? For such a formal man, Shacklebolt was being rather rude. Remus straightened, keeping his voice level as he raised an eyebrow at his visitor.
"Are you going to tell me what this is about, Kingsley? If it's Black, I'm afraid I don't know anyt-"
"Oh Merlin, no." The auror murmured wearily, still scoping out his surroundings. "Although he could have saved us all the trouble and waited a few more days before breaking out. He's my task for tomorrow, I'm afraid."
"Then what's your task for today?" Remus countered, growing more annoyed by the minute. Shacklebolt swallowed, finally meeting the werewolf in the eye.
"How secure are your wards?" The man asked bluntly, still dodging his questions.
"We're in the bowels of Diagon Alley. If they weren't strong, I'd be dead."
"Mmm. It might not be a five star hotel, but it'll do. It's certainly the last place those bloody reporters will think to look." Shacklebolt murmured to himself more than anyone. Remus blinked in response.
"Reporters…. what on earth are you on about?"
"Look, I wish I had the proper time to ease you into this, but we're in a bit of a time crunch, here. Quirinus Quirrell was found dead at Godric's Hollow." Shacklebolt murmured, watching Remus to make sure he understood the significance of the place.
Remus's heart plummeted. He did, better than most. "He…..at the house? He was at the Potter house?"
"No, no. He was…. well, he was at their graves." Remus scowled at this, his blood beginning to boil.
"And what was he doing there?" The newly appointed professor spat, clenching his fists. Shacklebolt had expected his reaction it seemed, finally taking the seat Remus had offered. Remus was familiar with the auror's stance. It was the stance he himself had often taken when informing people of a family member's death. Lupin closed his eyes, praying he wasn't right.
"Did he...did he kill Harry?"
"No." Shacklebolt responded quickly, and the werewolf's eyes shot back open, sharpening. Shacklebolt swallowed, offering a weary smile. "Quite the opposite."
Another possibility dawned on Lupin. Shacklebolt had been talking of wards and hotels, it couldn't possibly be….he intended for Remus to house….?
"Is he safe, then? You've…..you're intending to keep Harry here?" He asked incredulously.
Shacklebolt slumped further, once again shaking his head.
"Then spit it out, man. Just say it. Why are you here? What did Quirrell do?" Shacklebolt bowed his head at the question, and then raised it slowly, meeting Remus in the eye.
"He resurrected James and Lily Potter." The man said, without blinking, without a single waver in his voice. He said it as simply as someone would have remarked on the weather.
"That's….that's not possible."
"It isn't. But that's what he did, and they've been cooped up in the cemetery's cottage for the last day while we've been trying to decide what to do with them. They're exhausted and need somewhere to keep their heads down when this hits the papers tomorrow morning."
Remus felt like he was in some sort of horrid dream, the auror's words as surreal as they were infuriating.
"I don't know who you think Quirrell brought out of those graves, but it's not-it can't be- James and Lily." Remus said, a dangerous edge to his voice. His mind was pulling him dozens of ways. Quirrell's stuttering persona had been a facade, of course, but to make the Potters into inferi? To die trying? And nearly a year after Harry's abduction? What….and why…..
James had been Remus's friend. No, it had been more than that, James had been his brother. James and Sirius were always closest to one another, it was true, but the Marauders had spent over a decade together. Housed in the same rooms, pulling the same pranks. James had become an animagus for Remus, and Remus had risked his life for James a few times, himself. To think that someone would desecrate his grave, or Lily's….
"I've seen them with my own eyes. We've tested their blood. They know things no one else could know. It's them, Mr. Lupin. And they're coming here."
As if on queue, the fireplace flashed in the distance, two faces peering through the emerald flames. Two faces that took Remus's breath away.
"Just talk to them. I didn't believe it myself, not until I laid eyes on 'em." The weary auror pleaded, his professional voice succumbing to a more informal accent. The bags under his eyes made it look like the auror was the one claiming to have risen from the grave.
Remus nodded briskly, and rising, began to walk towards the floo. But as he moved, he felt as if he was walking through water, the world slowing around him as his ears rang. Remus took a deep breath, willing himself to calm down. Freezing in emergencies only got people killed. He had to focus.
But as he stepped in front of the fireplace, all thoughts of calm and focus went out the window.
They looked exactly as he remembered them, even through the flames. They hadn't aged a day. James was missing his distinctive glasses and squinted as Remus drew close. But Lily's mouth took the shape an 'o' as she took in the newly appointed professor. What did Remus look like to them, now? He had always prided himself on his neatness, on his organization, but life had been hard on him, and the transformations were forever taking their toll.
"Hello, Remus." She said gently, nudging her spouse. James' eyebrows shot up into his messy hairline, the young adult looking like an old man as he struggled to see.
"Hello, Lily. James." He nodded curtly, his voice cracking as he did so. He was barely able to choke out the appropriate spell. For a moment they were gone, and Remus wondered if this all wasn't just a dream, but the flames roared, the flitterbies screeching, and Lily's figure emerged, soon followed by James's.
Remus swallowed and, forcing back tears, held his wand out at the couple.
"Who dyed Sirius's hair green in our fifth year?"
It was the only question he could think of that Black wouldn't know the answer to. Padfoot had been surprisingly enraged by the prank, having just had a nasty row with his younger brother, so the other marauders had kept quiet about that particular affair. Black had blamed the whole thing on Regulus, much to his friends' relief.
"Er….me?" James muttered, taking in his friend's appearance. Remus nearly collapsed on the spot, his heart feeling like it was stopping in his chest. But James was fingering his own wand, looking uncertain.
"Now it's my turn. Why did you lie about where you were the night the McKinnons were killed?"
The question struck Remus hard, and cast him back to over a decade ago. He let a sad smile flit over his lips.
"I forgot ...we didn't part on such good terms, did we?" James shook his head in response, teary-eyed even as he looked ready to collapse.
"No mate, er….we didn't."
"I was spying for Dumbledore." Remus said suddenly, lowering his wand. Shacklebolt shifted uneasily behind him, aware that this wasn't a conversation he was supposed to hear. "That's why I was living with Greyback's pack. I heard they were planning an attack, but I didn't know where, or who, and by the time I got there, they…. they were torturing her, James."
Remus's relationship with Marlene had always been complicated, but his feelings for her had been well known. She had fancied him, too, even going out with him once or twice to Hogsmede during their Hogwarts days, but Remus had broken it off before things went too far. She was lovely, far too lovely to be stuck with the likes of him. She had been destined for greater things until he came along. But breaking things off hadn't saved her, it seemed.
Because nothing good in Remus's life ever lasted.
Remus holstered his wand shakily, slumping into the chair he had hastily conjured. It felt ready to buckle under his weight, and he felt ready to let it. He stared at the two incredulously, before conjuring a cheap couch for them to sit in. James sat down slowly, as if he wasn't sure whether he could trust the words Remus was saying. It was laughable, to relive that part of his past. After over a decade of being in society, of living in such a way that even the ministry couldn't find any fault in him, and to be suspected of deatheater activity or leanings again … it really brought him back, for better or worse.
And it was the best proof there was that this was actually James and not an imposter.
Against his best judgement, Remus rose to his feet, and before his old friend had so much as a chance to react, embraced him for everything he was worth.
James was stiff, still suspicious, and somewhat shocked. It had to be odd for him, Remus realized, but Remus didn't care. This was James. He walked the same, he talked the same, he even smelled the same. Suddenly Remus was a teenager all over again, vulnerable, overwhelmed, and bewildered to have a group of friends that would risk their lives to transform with him on the full moon. After a moment, the other man relaxed, returning the tight hug, and Remus found that they were both sniffling back tears into each other's shoulders.
Remus withdrew first, wiping his eyes on his robes as he made his way back to his chair.
"You saw her die." James said wearily, his voice sounding far away. Remus nodded. Lily was nodding along with him, tearful herself. She had never suspected him as much as James did, Remus knew. She had just gone along with the others' suspicions, her drive to protect her young stronger than any need to defend Remus, something he couldn't fault her for, especially given the circumstances.
Remus was tempted to leave it at that. It was all James needed to know, really. That would have been enough to placate him. But it wasn't the whole truth.
"I'm the one that killed her." He admitted in a whisper, harshly aware of their eyes upon him. Shacklebolt cleared his throat uncomfortably, looking away.
"Marlene, she….she had lost so much blood, and Greyback ...they weren't going to let her live, they were just toying with her. The rest of the Mckinnons were already dead by the time I arrived, and the werewolves were…. they were planning to…. I killed her before they could…." He couldn't say it. He couldn't say it, but the others seemed to understand, regardless.
"Why didn't you just say so." James cried out in exasperation. "Merlin, Remus. I didn't want to believe Sirius, I didn't. But you wouldn't tell us what was going on, but when we found their bodies and there was evidence that you were there that night; what were we supposed to believe?"
Remus swallowed and shrugged, his hands trembling. "If I had told you, you would have told Black. And if you told Black, my cover would have been blown. Marlene would have died for nothing."
Shacklebolt winced at this, and James rose from his seat in a fit of anger, looking like he wanted to desperately punch something. The flitterbies twittered uneasily. Remus could almost swear the room was growing hotter, his cooling charms disturbed by the magic encircling the man. The reality of the situation dawned on Remus, and his eyes widened. If this was real… if this was James and Lily, and they had been bloody resurrected… what would that do to their magical stores? And yet…. what James had to say was even more ludicrous than talk of resurrections and blood magic.
"Sirius. Wasn't. A. Fucking. DEATHEATER." James ran his hands through his hair, sitting back down in an exasperated huff. He nearly missed the chair, but was steadied by Lily, who appeared deep in thought.
"Peter was our secret keeper, not Sirius." She explained quietly. "Sirius is innocent."
No...no, it wasn't possible. It couldn't be possible. Remus had seen what Black had become, a crazed lunatic that rivaled even his infamous Aunt Bellatrix's rantings. He had read the witness statements from the night he had killed those muggles. He couldn't be innocent.
"That….that can't be…." Remus was stuttering now. "...why?"
"It was Sirius's idea." James muttered, rubbing his eyes. "Nobody would suspect Peter, he said. That way, even if they got ahold of Sirius, or tortured him…. or used Regulus against him…. we would be safe. That was the plan."
And as much as it went against everything Remus had come to believe, it made a twisted sort of sense. Some of the accounts had claimed that Peter was the one that went after a fleeing Black, and that their duel had ended in a bloodbath. And as much as Remus had wanted to believe that of his dead friend, bravery had never been in Wormtail's nature.
But Sirius impulsively going after a traitorous friend in a rage, not caring who got hurt along the way…..that was in his nature. And yet, Remus could scarcely wrap his head around it.
"Shite." He murmured, leaning back in his chair. James nodded, mirroring his words. The four of them sat in silence for a moment, before a horrible realization dawned on Remus. He looked back towards the auror, a question on the tip of his lips.
"What about Harry? If Quirrell's dead…. and they're alive, where-?"
"The graveyard's house-elf saw him." Lily answered for Shacklebolt, sorrow apparent in her face. "Harry was with Quirrell when he died. It sounds like... it sounds like Voldemort is using us as leverage to keep Harry in line."
"But Voldemort's dead." Remus whispered, not believing it even as he said it. There was the possibility of course, that Quirrell was just a lingering fanatic that saw his chance at kidnapping The-Boy-Who-Lived and took it. But even when he wasn't stuttering, Quirrell wasn't a leader. Someone else had to have directed him.
"The back of Quirrell's head was deformed. According to Mrs. Potter's sources-" Shacklebolt started, his eyes flickering uncertainly to the redheaded woman.
"Beasy." Lily informed him, matter-of-factly.
-according to Beasy, a face, or a 'smoke man', was talking to Harry from the back of Quirrell's head. It seems...it seems possible that even without his body, You-Know-Who has found a way to exist in spirit, at least. Not that Fudge was willing to listen to such a theory..."
"The turban." Remus marveled, realization glinting in his eyes. It was the one defining feature of the otherwise forgettable man. There wasn't a single Daily Prophet photo where the fugitive professor wasn't wearing it. "He hid Voldemort…. behind a turban?"
"Is it so hard to believe?" Lily pressed, her eyebrows raised. "We've seen death eaters do crazier things."
"When Harry was kidnapped, part of me suspected …" the werewolf trailed off for a moment, deep in thought. "...but the rest of the wizarding world isn't going to agree. I know the War is fresh in your minds, but for the rest of us, Voldemort has been gone for a very, very long time. There haven't even been so much as terrorist attacks since."
"Aye, you're right." Shacklebolt agreed quietly, casting a look in their direction. "And the Ministry's already using Quirrell as the scapegoat in all of this. If you want to get anything done...you might want to talk Dumbledore into reinstigating that Order of his...he might get some new members out of it, at the rate things are going." He said pointedly.
"The bloody Order. World's best kept secret." James remarked bitterly, shaking his head.
Shacklebolt sighed agreeably, rising from his chair.
"You lot did more during the war than the Ministry ever did. And I don't think that's changed. There are others out there, others like me that would be interested. Just...think about mentioning it to Albus, would you?" Shacklebolt murmured, looking around warily as if afraid of being heard.
"Aye, I will."
"In the meantime, I believe it's time for me to finally hit the cot. Lupin, keep an eye on your floo, Merlin knows when the Ministry is going to want to talk to them again. If anything unusual happens, and I mean anything, you can floo to my place, yeah? I'm the lead on this, so I'll probably have some reporters stalking my door, but safety outweighs privacy. If you need anything, you know where I am." He said, offering Remus a piece of paper with an address. Remus nodded, tucking it in his pocket.
Shacklebolt offered them a curt nod, and taking a handful of floo powder, said his goodbyes. The fire roared green and the auror was gone. Remus half expected James and Lily to disappear as well, mirages themselves, but they were still there, slumped tiredly in their chairs.
The ache in Remus's bones returned. Conjuring furniture wasn't as easy as it seemed, and it took a great deal of magic to pull off. If it had been easy, then every witch and wizard would be living like kings on luxurious beds, instead of digging around for half-used furniture as he often did. But even fresh off a full moon, Remus managed a few sleeping bags, even adding a room divider to give the two a little privacy. James was shaky as he walked, Remus noticed, and Lily didn't even have her wand. He would have to ask Shacklebolt to send an eye healer and devise some plan to sneak Lily into Ollivander's. The two of them being blind and stripped of their magic didn't bode well for anyone. He was tempted to take a whack at conjuring the glasses himself, but the lenses were infamous for their complexity, a specialist in transfiguration being required in order to get the correct prescription.
As wound up as James had been, both he and Lily fell asleep quickly, not seeming to care about their dim, uncomfortable surroundings. Remus had to force himself to stop staring. He held his breath at each rise of their chests, nearly convinced that they would die or disappear in the night.
Remus had always distanced himself from the people he loved, in some vain effort to protect them from the never ending woes that followed him. But in the end, Marlene had died all the same, her eyes shining with betrayal as his wand met her forehead.
Remus was going to finish the damned syllabus. He was going to take the position at Hogwarts, and he was going to protect James and Lily Potter with every fiber of his being. The moon had risen for all of them, regardless of his attempts to prevent it. So even if everything good in Remus's life slipped through his fingers, he wasn't about to let it go without a fight. Not anymore. Not when James and Lily Potter were alive and sleeping in his apartment.
The flitterbies hummed their approval, one landing on his pillow as he closed his eyes. Even with his eyes shut, he could see their orange glow, and for once in the past year, was utterly grateful for it.
For when he slept, he dreamt in orange rather than green. He dreamt of classrooms and boggarts with funny hats, of children's laughter. He dreamt of a phoenix and a glint in Dumbledore's eye. And perhaps it was merely the flitterbies's influence, but he dreamt of a woman with auburn hair. But by the time he had woken, her hair had turned into a lovely shade of violet, and he couldn't for the life of him remember what her name had been.
Author's Note: To clarify once again, this story begins in what WOULD HAVE BEEN the beginning of Harry's 3rd year. He has been missing for over a year, ever since the end of Sorcerer's Stone.
As usual, I'm not completely content with this chapter, I really wanted a hugely emotional, 'running in slow motion' reunion scene. But since James was convinced that Remus was the traitor before his death, they both need to earn each other's trust back, first.
Also, while the McKinnons' deaths are canon, Remus's involvement and his relationship with Marlene is purely headcanon. I needed to fill in the blanks on exactly why Sirius and James were so convinced Remus was the traitor, so I took some liberties. It's also my understanding that Shacklebolt only joined the Order shortly before the events of the 5th book, hence why he's in the 'recruiting' stage right now.