Joan and her family were enjoying their vacation in London, England. Well, except Kevin. Kevin couldn't get the time off and instead accepted the amount Joan would have paid for his ticket. Kevin implied that he would use it for his eventual honeymoon. Joan smirked as she accepted that. Grace had made the trip instead as a treat from her father for her hard work on the synagogue (now up and running).
The vacation, actually, was only possible because of the kindness of a friend that Joan had met the month before: Harry Potter, Lone Traveler. Of course, only her Dad knew the real identity of the man. Everyone else that had met him had been told he was Harry Planter.
When Harry had been moved on, he had left Joan with enough money to take the family on the vacation – and instructions to bring Harry's passbook and other items back to the Lord Chamberlain of the Household for safekeeping.
Baron Luce had been difficult to get in to see – until Joan had mentioned that she was personally delivering a letter from Harry Planter, KCB, regarding a matter having to do with same. Suddenly, the obstacles had disappeared.
And so, the remaining week-long visit could be spent visiting various iconic locations around London.
Today, Grace and Luke (with Helen) were at the Jewish Museum in London – Grace's father had only insisted on this when he paid for the trip. So, Joan and Will were visiting New Scotland Yard.
The split groups had been Grace's idea. When both Will and Joan had expressed interest in touring Metropolitan Police headquarters, Grace said she had no interest in seeing the headquarters for the "Stormtrooper Enforcers of the FascistState." (Joan rolled her eyes when she said it.) Since she had to visit the Museum anyway (she viewed it as a chore from her father), she could do that. Helen was interested in the Museum. Luke was just interested in Grace.
Finally, Will and Joan were finished with the tour and had a few hours before they would be meeting up with the others. The two meandered about, looking at various things. They stopped at a small coffee shop.
Will ordered first. "I'll take a large coffee. Black." He looked over at Joan.
Joan looked around and said, "Do you have cappuccino? Latte? Double-Double expresso?"
The man behind the counter replied with a mild London accent, "This isn't a Starbucks, Joan. We have coffee, tea, herbal tea, and various juices and health drinks."
Will was startled that a perfect stranger knew his daughter's name. Before he could ask (with a hefty amount of suspicion) Joan groaned. "Oh, God."
The man smiled and said, "Quite. How about a nice cup of herbal tea?"
Joan sighed and said, "Sure."
Will looked between the two for a moment and said, "I see that you weren't exaggerating in your journal. I take it that you've learned to recognize it."
Joan looked at her Dad. "Far more than I wanted to. I guess I'm about to get a suggestion."
Will looked over and saw that his coffee was ready, and Joan's tea was on its way. "God serves coffee and tea in London?"
The man volunteered, "I have experience in all areas of human endeavour. Remember what Joan wrote about that first time she met me."
Will thought about it and remembered Joan's description of the lunch lady. He put a couple of pounds on the counter to cover their drinks.
"Take the money back – do something nice with it. And here, take this." Another cup was placed on the counter.
Will was curious. "What's this for?"
God smirked. "Have a seat over there," he pointed at one of the tables, "and you'll see in a couple of minutes."
Will and Joan looked at each other and shrugged. They moved over and sat down to enjoy their drinks.
After a couple of minutes, both noticed a disturbance in the middle of the room. A blue light formed and expanded out. A figure emerged. Both recognized him.
Joan called out. "Harry!"
Harry Potter, Lone Traveler looked around and saw who called out. "Joan! Will!" He looked around and saw where he was through the front window. "And in London too."
Joan looked at the cup that God had given her Dad. "You want a cup of tea?"
Harry almost groaned. "I could MURDER a cuppa right about now."
Joan pointed to the extra cup at their table. Harry was curious as he walked over and sat down. He sipped it and then sighed. "Perfect." Harry looked around. "I take it the Boss is around?"
Joan giggled. "Yeah." She pointed to the serving man, who waved back.
Harry saluted God with his cup and took another drink. Finally he said, "So, what are you doing in London?"
Joan replied, "Taking the package to the Lord Chancellor and the vacation you funded."
Harry's smile was wide. "Oh, right! How has it been? Any troubles?"
Joan said, "As soon as we gave your name and presented the parchment, no. And it's been fun."
Harry looked around. "Where's the rest of the family?"
Will answered that. "Kevin stayed home – Joan gave him the amount for the plane ticket toward whenever he gets married for the honeymoon." Joan giggled at that. "Helen and Luke went with Grace to the London Jewish Museum. Grace didn't want to see Scotland Yard."
Harry's face lit up again. "Oh, I've never been! Tell me about it."
The next few minutes were spent talking about that and a couple of other things. A random customer or two came and went.
Suddenly, God was standing next to the table. Harry looked up. "Hey, Boss. You know why I'm here?"
God replied, "I have a job for you – fairly quick. I want you to take Joan with you."
Joan and Harry looked at each other. Harry asked, "Where is this job?"
God put a piece of paper down. "These are the coordinates. You can use your peculiar skills to get there and come back. The water main for small town is cracked and is going to rupture soon if it isn't taken care of. I'd like you to fix it permanently."
Listening in, Will was surprised. He didn't think that God got so directly involved with the affairs or mortal men.
"And why bring Joan?" Joan looked just as interested as Harry.
God gave an enigmatic smile. "Joan is an instrument of my Will, bound by human limitations. I'd like her to perform a small service as my Instrument." He put another paper down, in front of Joan this time. "Instructions are here."
Joan took the paper and read it. "Um. Isn't this a job for – I don't know – a priest or something?"
"I'd like you to do it."
Joan sighed and stood up. "Alright, then."
Harry stood as well. He looked at Will. "Where will you be in, say, thirty minutes?"
God actually answered that. "He's going to be here – he has a few questions for me, and I'm doing to answer them."
Harry shrugged and looked at Joan. "Ready?"
Joan nodded. Harry took her arm and the two disappeared in another blue light.
Will was curious. "Where exactly did you send them?"
God gave another of those small smiles. "Just outside Sunnydale, California."
Harry and Joan appeared right next to a pipe coming out of a wall, right before it entered the ground. Coming out of the building that the wall was a part of was a large water tower. They looked around. "Seems quite deserted," Harry said.
Joan shrugged. "Probably better this way – no interference."
Harry nodded. The two walked around and noticed that there were more than a few damaged things. It was as if no one was maintaining the place. "Well, I guess there are a few problems."
Joan replied, "Well, Mr. Potter, better get on it." She pointed toward the large pipe which was leaking water.
Harry took the next few minutes walking around and fixing various damaged parts. There was a pump which took water from a large pipe and sent it up to the water tower. Gravity would then take the water down the tower and down the hill toward the town they could see a couple of miles away.
Harry not only repaired the pipe, but charmed it to be indestructible – he assumed that was what was meant by a "permanent" fix.
He then inscribed a few runes to remove all impurities and vanish them. He took a few minutes to charge the runes so that the water coming through would be pure. When he was done, he stood back and motioned to Joan.
Joan sighed and started reading the words from the page. She read it like it was a book report.
Finally Harry had enough. "Stop!" Joan did and looked over, curious. "If you're going to do it – do it right. You've got to feel it. Intent is very important. If you don't intend for anything to happen, nothing will. Think about that for a moment – and then start again."
Joan took a deep breath and considered what she wanted. She then put aside the paper and got a few suggestions from Harry. Then she spoke from the heart.
"In the name of the Creator of us all, I bless this pipe and the water that flows through it. While our bodies are made of earth, water is what allows for life. Water brings the food to our cells and takes away the impurities. May this pipe carry the water that is needed for life to flourish. In the name of the Father, may it nourish us. In the name of the Son, may it cleanse us. In the name of the Spirit, may it absorb and take away those things that we don't need. In the name of the Almighty, I bless and sanctify the water that passes through this pipe so that it may feed and cleanse us all. Amen."
Harry, who stood as witness, could feel the energy that gathered as Joan spoke the blessing on the pipe. He could feel it build up and the crescendo when she finished. He was mightily impressed.
"Woah. We'll make a priestess out of you yet," he said with a grin. Joan stuck her tongue out at him. "Or maybe not."
The two laughed.
Harry looked around and then asked, "Ready to go back?" Joan presented her arm so he could take it.
Will had a very interesting conversation with the Creator of the universe. It was interrupted on occasion by customers coming in and out, but all in all, his remaining questions were answered.
That didn't mean he was going to bow down and worship, but he at least respected God's self-imposed limitations.
Suddenly, once again, there was a blue light. Instead of one person, there were now an extra two. Will stood up.
Joan saw him and cried out, "Daddy!" with a smile. She moved over to throw her arms around him.
"I take it that things went well?" Will asked.
Harry answered. "Yeah. Fixed it up quite well. Joan did her thing. And here we are."
Will was curious, "What did Joan do?"
Before either could answer, the door was flung open and another man ran in. He was dressed in the same basic uniform that God had worn while serving. He called out to God, "Thanks Mate for covering! She's with her mum now – just a bit of food poisoning but the doctors said she'll be fine."
God nodded and said, "I'm glad to hear that. Things have gone alright. Tips are in the jar. I'll be going now."
"But I told you that you could keep the tips! You did the work!" the new man protested.
God shrugged and replied, "That's okay. Use them to buy your girl or present or something."
God walked out, nodding at the three as he went. He gave a small wave as he walked out the door.
Will looked at Joan, "Does he always do that little wave?"
Will and Joan were walking down the street. Will had his arm around Joan's shoulder as they talked about her assignment. Will didn't understand it – but he was perfectly willing to listen.
Suddenly, they heard a voice call out: "Got a couple quid for man down on his luck, gov'na?" The two looked over and saw a man in somewhat worn clothes, looking quite dejected. Both noticed a woman and a girl hiding further down the side alley.
Will looked at his daughter and then pulled away. He took a bit of money from his pocket – some of it what God had refused just an hour earlier – and walked over and dropped it in the man's hand.
The man looked – it was over twenty quid! "Crikey!" He looked up in gratitude. "Bless you, Gov'na. You're a real gent."
Will put his hand on the man's shoulder. "Just a bit of help to be passed on at your first chance." Will smiled and then moved back to Joan. The smile Joan gave him made him feel a hundred feet tall.
Two hours later, approximately midnight, Sunnydale National Cemetary
The vampire leading the group snarled a grim smile at the two people he faced. "Oh! Looky here! A fresh meal just coming along. Dinner on the hoof, as it were."
Buffy smirked back, "Bring it on!" Truthfully, she was nervous – there were a lot of vampires. She didn't know is she and Xander could deal with all of them. Most of the other Scoobies were down with the flu which meant there wasn't any backup.
Suddenly, a sound clicked off to the side. Everyone ignored it – it was the sound of the automatic sprinklers kicking on. Who was afraid of a little water?
Suddenly, the tableau was interrupted by a scream. The principles all looked over and saw that the vampires circling were all suddenly running in terror as each one that was hit with the water felt unbelievable agony before they burned up and turned to dust.
Buffy and Xander looked at each other in shock – and then in amusement. Buffy turned back to the Sire and said, "You were saying?"
Needless to say, he didn't last very long without his planned backup.