Narcissa and The beginning of change
You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. –C.S. Lewis
Keeping my promise was easier said than done when after Andy we got another addition in our dysfunctional family in the form of Narcissa.
Andy was quite like me and Bella; mischievous, enthusiastic and intense in her affection. Narcissa though, even as a baby was silent and gentle. She rarely cried and when she did, it was soft sobs rather than bawling. I would never doubt her affection towards us. She was her own personal brand of intense. It was in the little things she did. Getting teary eyed and her baby grasp tightening whenever she thought Bella and Andy were taking my attention.
She was also very curious. I could always see her baby blues peering at the world taking note of each and every person interacting with her; a keen observer. What both Andy and Narcissa had in common was favouring their elder sisters. Andy after that rocky start was surprisingly close to Bella whereas Narcissa loved me, loved being held by me, snuggling with me. I could see Druella mentally awing every time that happened. Druella like I have said before and will say it again was not a bad mother. But yet again she favoured Narcissa over Andy like she did me over Bella.
It's fine though, I will make sure to recompense wherever I could.
As I lay on my bed looking at the intricate ceiling, my eyes started closing on their own accord. But before I could fall asleep, I felt a vision ensnaring my senses.
When I looked up into red eyes they stared at me with a detached curiosity. I felt amusement and anger surge up, how snobbish of him.
The same low lived orphan, top of his throne acting as if he knew better. This is the man that's my soulmate the one who was insane who led the entire magical world into madness destroying my family in a once read fictional world.
Step off your high horse darling, you are in for a surprise if you think I will be easily subjugated.
A quick glance sideways showed me Bella's fascinated expression and my anger turned cold and my resolve strengthened.
Two can play this game.
I heard Bella's breathy, "My Lord." She looked drunk off his magic. And truthfully if I hadn't been accustomed to his magic from the years of visions I would have had a similar reaction. As it were, I kept my erratically behaving magic firm in my hold which was proving to be difficult because it had a mind of its own; trying to intertwine with his.
"Have you waited long for me, my Lord?" I quipped sarcastically.
I felt his magic come alive, wrap around mine with an all-consuming hunger and his eyes sharpened into a bright red, irises glowing as everyone staggered around me with the weight of his magic, all I could do was shudder in the warm feeling it brought me.
No! This isn't the way I will meet my all powerful soulmate, weak, young and untrained. Here in the midst of high society with politicians and nobles frolicking around like sharks waiting for the slightest scent of blood. It has to be on my terms, I decided stubbornly.
And I felt the vision waver and fade just as he replied just as possessive as the words crawled on my body.
I would never meet him in such a vulnerable state. He will hoard me like his prized possessions; every action would be under careful action and scrutiny. That's the person he was. I cannot meet him as his soulmate until at least I turn of age.
I thought I was done being short tempered in my last life. That sarcastic quip would've destroyed my life.
I do realize that's what would have happened if I hadn't been born as a seer. But as my resolve strengthened, the opposite happened, the surroundings were being leached of colours, voices muted and sounding from far away.
And I was seeing again. I looked older, my magic was blaring bright and centered. I had turned into a woman as the magic showed that I had finished my age of maturity. Only this time I was dressed head to toe in lilac robes, extravagant gorgeous dresses and jewelry inlaid with bright silver, white gold anf platinum. I looked ready for war. It was the gala for the coming of age ceremony for Bellatrix and me. The only thing that was distinct in my vision were my words "Have you waited long for me, my Lord?" Though this time my voice was smooth, lilting and the quirk of my painted lips showed that I was clearly amused. His eyes widened and he lost his composure.
I gasped a heaving breath as I came out of it.
Rubbing my eyes I leaned out of my bed. I felt restless. And just like the first time I had a vision I headed off to Druella, I mean mother's chambers. I know on a mental level that I don't consider as my mother but instincts are harder to control. Even more than that as I entered and saw her sleeping peacefully my gait didn't falter as I reached for Narcissa's crib.
I don't know whether I was heading for the safety that this biological body's mother provided or the soothing comfort of a baby that gave me reassurance; perhaps both.
She was wide awake her baby blues staring at me. What a unique baby. She silently held up her hands not even making grabby motions, and snuggled in my chest tangling her fingers in my hair as soon as I held her. As I kissed the top of her forehead she shyly met my gaze and gently nudged her nose to mine in an Eskimo kiss. Perhaps that wasn't what she was hoping for; judging by her cute little frown but it became a tradition for Narcissa and me from then.
Some things aren't meant to be changed. People eventually end up with who they were meant to be with it. And I don't even mean romantically. But what I didn't know was here and now the lines were drawn. I became the safe haven for Blacks, even though no matter what I do Sirius would always be James' just like Bella would always be Voldemort's but they would come back to me. As for my hesitant three, Narcissa, Regulus and Andromeda who always tethered in between and chose sides due to obligations and family they became mine in a way my twin or the heir of my house couldn't ever be.
That was the first snippet of future I had changed, it wouldn't be the last. And like cascading dominos I had prevented a particular future... The scariest thing about my sight is that the outcomes are lot like possibilities, for each vision I change, I see how that timeline could have ended up being, yet again in mere glimpses. But even that is enough. They come in the form of inconsistent images with barely audible voices, lifeless surroundings sometimes like a particular badly shot movie, glitches.
My thoughts always turned into a convoluted mess after they crept on me. They left me disturbed even the good events. How to distinguish between reality and fantasy? Especially when once upon a time, it was supposed to be your reality. All that leads to is insanity. It's terrifying watching your own life, or others close to you with indifferent emotions and scenarios that would have been had I not interfered. A spectator observing a TV screen with bad reception.
But that's what I will learn gradually. That's how it goes. If I have enough will to change them I have to muster equal strength to face the consequences.