In the Cards

“This is truly remarkable.”

“Yes, you’ve said that Poppy. Fifteen times.”

The matron turned sharply to the cheeky young man standing in the opposite side of the room with a cocky smile on his lips that failed to hide the honest relief he felt.

“You’ll excuse me, Mr Black, if I express my astonishment at having not one, but two survivors of the killing curse,” she retorted, sniffing haughtily to the great amusement of the rest of their little assembly.

Since Severus’ desperate intervention and Lily’s awakening, it seemed as if they had all been freed from an invisible chain, and entered that sweet and blessed retrieve after a storm. When the sun finally piercing through the dark clouds, chases away the heavy rains washing the earth unrelentingly, leaving the soils damp but rich with the sweet smell of nature.

Poppy had jumped next to the young woman after Severus nearly fainted in shock at seeing her open her eyes once more. The poor man thought he was hallucinating again. Twenty check-ups later, out of which at least ten were unnecessary, Poppy had not been able to pass over her own shock and kept on staring with suspiciously shiny eyes that had as much to do with the miracle recovery of one of her favorite student than with the opportunity to study such an incomprehensible fate of healing potions.

The young woman had readily complied with a small smile, genuine but unmistakably tainted by exhaustion and pain. She had been given her daughter back readily enough once Poppy had ascertain she wouldn’t once more fall into any coma, magical or not, and the young woman had been relishing in the comforting warmth of the little one, still fast asleep despite the commotion around her.

Her heart was still heavy with grief, and anytime her eyes fell on her daughter, her throat constricted further and threatened to sour her mood. As if on cue, the little girl stirred every time Lily did feel such an urge, snuggling further in the young woman’s chest, which never failed to lift Lily’s spirit. She had remained mostly silent throughout the whole ordeal, focused as she had been on not dissolving into sobs at the mere thought of everything she had lost and on coping with what it meant.
Before Remus and Sirius joined them, Minerva had briefly explained what had happened. Her own memories were hazy and filled with incoherencies that Minerva’s retelling enabled to clear up somewhat. It seemed as if it had been the necessary push she needed to unfold the blurred images of the memories her conscious mind had readily shoved back. Minerva had excused herself for a moment, leaving the young woman to her musings, before she seemed jolted by a thought that had her look up in alarm.

“Harry,” she whispered, looking around wildly. “Where’s Harry-“

The door of what she did not know had been her son’s nursery in the past several months opened, revealing first Minerva, then Albus carrying a very restless little boy with red-rimmed eyes. Lily drew in a sharp breath at seeing her first baby so grown up, and the instant Harry realized his mother was awake, he jerked back and forth in the arms of ‘Grandpa Albi’ with small desperate cries until he was let down.

“Mummy, Mummy, Mummy!” he yelled, running with all the might of not yet two-year-old and barreling into the bed, gripping the blanket and desperately trying to hoist himself up.

To obviously no avail.

Severus, who hadn’t moved from his spot next to Lily’s bed after he’d nearly fainted at the sight of her awake, stooped down and put the boy on the bed, careful to stay close in case he proved too much for the newborn.

Lily was laughing and crying, engulfing the little boy into a one-arm hug that was no less fierce than if she had two. Harry circled his arms around her neck, with a big goofy smile on his lips, nearly trembling in excitement.

“Oh my baby boy, how much you’ve grown! Look at you,” she exclaimed, kissing the mop of black hair over and over and tightening her embrace around the little body.

“I miss you,” a soft little voice reached her, and she had to swallow back a sob. Seven months. He had been alone seven months while she was trapped in that magical coma.

She looked up for an instant, something warm and fuzzy awakening in her chest. Not alone. Not really. She swiped the room with her eyes, gaze falling on each and every person in this room that ensured her little boy was well cared for when she couldn’t, that she stayed alive and that her daughter was born without any complication. And she smiled, tears in her eyes, she smiled a genuinely happy smile.

“I missed you too baby, so so much. I’m not leaving you ever again, I promise.”

That seemed to reassure the boy, for he untangled himself from the embrace, moving so as the side of his body rested next to his mother and under her arm, facing the new addition to the family he had failed to notice until now.

Harry furrowed his brows, cocking his head to the side in curiosity as he approached the very little pink thing that rested in his mother’s arms. It cause quite the amusement of the adults present when he only stopped at a few centimeters away from the baby, blinking madly, before retreating just as slowly and murmuring: “Mummy, what this?”

Lily let out a breathy, vaguely wet, laugh and petted the back of her son’s head.

“That, my Harry, is your little sister,” she announced, looking into her son’s eyes with a smile. Said eyes widened minutely, and he looked back down to the newborn, trying to figure out if ‘little sister’ was a good or a bad thing. So enthralled by the moving little thing, he didn’t notice the amused looks the adults all shared as they waited for the little boy’s reaction.

The little girl stirred, letting out soft cries, before yawning widely. That took a laugh out of Harry, and he approached his hand slowly. He paused halfway, looking back to his mother who nodded with a smile, and he went to touch the little hand. He gasped softly when small fingers wrapped around his index but didn’t move, only stared wide-eyed. The little girl opened and closed her mouth slowly before a small smile widened her lips. That had Harry hysterical, and he laughed, glancing between his mother and his ‘little sister’ madly.

“She smile! She smile Mummy!”

Several laughs erupted in the room and Harry looked up, only now realizing he had the attention of everyone in the room. He blushed and snuggled in Lily’s side, to her great pleasure. She settled her head over his, relishing in the happiness she felt as she held her children safe and sound against her. All wasn’t as perfect as she would have wished, but considering the odds, she didn’t have it in her to focus on what she didn’t have and forgetting what she did.

“I am quite relieved with how things turned out,” Albus confessed as he sat down in one of the armchairs he had transfigured with Minerva’s help when they had all gathered here following Lily’s awakening. “I feared we had lost you when you lost consciousness earlier,” he added with a more somber demeanor.

Lily breathed deeply at the words as she regarded her old headmaster. She could not remember where she had been in those few seconds. Just as she couldn’t remember any of the past seven months. It scared her to no end. That feeling of hollowness that crept on her whenever she attempted to remember filled her with a cold sensation that had her quickly think of something else before it could settle.

She turned to the matron that had cared for her all these months. “I’ll never thank you enough Poppy, for all you’ve done in the past months and saving me,” she said earnestly when she had the older woman’s attention.

The witch startled a little at the address and huffed dismissively. “Oh dear it was only natural! Never would have I even think of not doing everything I could to keep you with us!” she exclaimed with her usual brisk but warm tone, bringing a smile to the red head that quickly turned into curiosity when the matron spoke again. “Although, it’s not just me who should get the credit.”

Lily raised her eyebrows, shaking her head slowly intending to ask what she meant before the medi-witch beat her to it.

“It was Severus who managed to compose an Elixir strong enough to help restore your magical core,” she explained with a quick but pointed look to said young man, who glared at her. He had not wanted his involvement pointed out in any way, and certainly not in this glorified manner. He did not deserve it, it was his fault Lily had needed any help at all in the first place, his fault she had lost her husband, his fault if Harry had had to spend seven months without his mother.

He knew that his involvement remaining untold to be wishful thinking considering Lily had been the only one unaware of it, and someone would have eventually told her. As to why he hadn’t wanted the matron to speak of it, Severus himself was not entirely sure, besides the ever-present and more than deserved guilt. Thus he let her speak, but reserved the right to glare at her to his heart’s content.

“It steadily enabled your magical core to strengthen over time; you see it was paradoxically maintaining your baby alive, but also maintained by your baby’s own magical core.”

Lily took in a breath at the explanation. She had heard it from Minerva already, but put in such a way, it made her realize how dire her situation must have been.
“The Elixir allowed your core to be on its own so to speak. Although it almost wasn’t enough,” Poppy continued and blinked as the memory of Lily fading closed its cold grasp around her. “If it wasn’t for Severus’ quick thinking and action to administrate you with another dose of the Elixir when you started fading, I fear you would have left us dear.”

Lily exhaled a shaky breath, looking down on her daughter, then Harry who didn’t seem to have grasped much of the explanation, before lifting her gaze to Severus. The young man had stopped glaring, and seemed to have accepted resignedly that his involvement was to be revealed to the one woman he had never wanted to hurt and yet had hurt the most.

He was looking at the ground and it took him several instants to realize Poppy had finished talking, and to feel eyes on him. He looked up, only to blink and swallow as he met Lily’s unfathomable eyes. He couldn’t read her expression, nor what shone in the green orbs and it left him uncomfortably puzzled, nearly avoiding her eyes for a moment.

Lily, on the other hand, was given another matter to ponder on regarding the man who had been her best friend. She wasn’t sure what to make of it yet. Her mind was battling itself through several battles, conflicting thoughts clashing together and she wasn’t able to make much sense of them.

Their situation was, to put it mildly, impossibly complicated. She had been feeling guilty for the part she had played in allowing Severus to wallow in his misery during their Hogwarts years and the way she had treated him, with an indifference he hadn’t deserved, until she finally severed their ties completely. For a long time, the feeling of having abandoned him lingered. Then he had called her that, and all the confusion, fear and uncertainty she had been feeling in the context of the ever growing power of a mad man had crystallized in that single word, in the expression Severus bore as he said it. Something had broken inside her that day, her faith that despite all the rumors she was hearing in the Gryffindor common room regarding Slytherins and their allegiances, Severus would never sway that way.

She had been entirely justified in breaking ties with him that day. Her taking offense was nothing short of legitimized and the only thing to do. And yet, she had felt a bitter after-taste ever since, and she had never been able to understand why before it was too late and Severus had turned himself over to the same mad man she had decided to fight with all her might.

She had been justified to react the way she had and yet in her heart she had known. Known he had not meant the word. He had lashed out like a wounded animal, and reacted instinctively to try and protect the last shreds of a dignity she had passively watched her new friends tore apart. The anguish she had seen in his eyes when he had come to apologize later had been enough to cement what she had refused to consciously acknowledged: he had not meant it.

After he had defected to Voldemort and she had further delved into the Order, it had been too late. He had made his choice, she had made hers, and she all her righteous anger against his choice had shoved her guilty conscious further back.

After all, he hadn’t meant for Voldemort to target her family either, and yet he had had to bring him the prophecy to prove himself to the madman. No matter that he hadn’t thought, couldn’t have predicted that it would lead said madman to her. It didn’t change the fact that James was dead, and she almost could have die to if her runic protection hadn’t held the way she had hoped it would.

Well…and for him. In the end, if it hadn’t been for him too, she would have died. That was something else she couldn’t simply brush off. By the looks of him, he hadn’t taken the last few months well: he looked exhausted, his eyes were haggard and dark circles weighted on them, his shoulders were sagged, and his skin an unhealthy pale.

After all the bad blood of the last few years, she couldn’t decide if she was surprised he had obviously put all his efforts into trying to save her or not.

But she was still feeling the burning anger in the pit of her stomach. She was livid, that his actions had led to her family being put in danger, and James being killed. She hated what he had done… Regardless of his circumstances, regardless of his pain and loneliness, it didn’t excuse him, merely explained. James was dead and Harry could have-

She stopped herself before she finished the thought and truly – visibly – got angry. Closing her eyes, she exhaled softly.

Ultimately, it came down to this, didn’t it? Would she be able to move past this or would the pain associated with losing James be too much? Regardless, she did not want to react in anger like she had when she had broken ties with him. She had always had her temper, and it flaring up didn’t usually end well.

She swallowed, coming to a decision. She’d let time tell for itself whether she could try and forgive him. It seemed impossible now. The hole in her chest at James’ lost, the lingering fear for Harry’s life, the thought of her daughter not having been born because she could have died too, all of this culminated in hot, burning anger that she could still feel pulsing through her veins.

And yet. She wanted to allow herself time to heal, time to get over the high of her emotions so that she could have a clear mind when she decided whether or not she could move forward from his mistakes, and living with consequences of it.

Besides, what he had done to save her, she couldn’t simply discard that easily either. Only thinking of her children growing up without any of their parents was too much for her to consider without a lump forming in her throat and tears threatening coming to her eyes.

She looked down on the slumbering form of her daughter and a very calm Harry with his thumb in his mouth and snuggled against her, eyes still riveted to his little sister like it was the eighth world’s wonder.

As she considered her next move her jaw clenched and she swallowed. Her eyes moved up once more to meet Severus’. “Thank you,” she said, as neutrally as she could make it, while sounding earnest.

Severus blinked and stared at her an unbelieving expression, mouth gaping slightly. She softened somewhat at that, but managed to control her reaction and simply nodded at him, eyes lowered for an instant. That seemed to jolt him back to himself, for he shook his head and nodded back, swallowing.

This was more than Severus had ever thought to be graced with, and he would take it. After everything that had happened, anything she would give him, he would take. He did not want to lose his best friend again, and he would try and do everything he could to atone for what he had done. This had just been the beginning, and his vow to protect Harry and… the little girl who, he only realized now, had not been named yet.

As if reading his mind, Remus had taken a step forward with a soft expression etched on his features and brought Lily’s attention to him.

“What will you name her?”

Lily visibly brightened at that, smiling as she looked down on her daughter.

They hadn’t started to think about names before the world came crashing around the family. But Lily and James had wondered what they would call their first born if they proved to be a girl and after Harry was born, they had toyed around with the idea of having a girl in the future. One name stood out, that James had adored and she had come to love. She couldn’t think of any other name now that this one had taken a hold on her. Her little girl could never be anyone else.

“Emma,” she whispered. “Her name is Emma.”

Contentment was almost palpable in the room, reveling itself in the simplicity of the quiet, yet oh so special moment. Sirius was beaming a wide grin down at the little family, with Remus, more subdued yet no less happy, by his side. Minerva was peering down at the newly named little girl with deep softness in her eyes, and Poppy had squealed quietly, joining her hands together as she did. Albus smiled and nodded in appreciation, and Severus too, allowed a very small smile to claim his lips as he regarded the little Emma. It didn’t go unnoticed by Lily when she looked around the room, and the young woman couldn’t help but smile back at him for only a moment.

The charm in the room was broken, only to be replaced with honest laughter and coos of delight when Harry lifted his head up from his mother’s shoulder to get closer to his sister. “Hello Emma, I’m ‘Arry, your big brozer.”

“Yes my Harry, you’re her big brother. That means you have to protect her,” Lily told him, Harry drinking her words.
He turned to Emma again and whispered: “I protect you Emma!”

Lily laughed a crystal and genuine sound. “Good boy,” she murmured and kissed his head tenderly.

Albus smiled at the portrait.

All was well.