Chapter 6
The school drop off was packed as normal. Harley didn’t have much trouble pulling up to the designated drop-off area though. Once they parked, Morgan quickly spotted her friends, gave her family all hugs, and quickly ran off to join them. The men didn’t quite join the congregated parents, but Harry gave a polite smile when he made eye contact with a few of them before turning his attention to Morgan running around the playground. A few mothers eyed Harley and preened themselves which Harry couldn’t help but suppress a laugh at. Harley often attracted this kind of attention at the drop off. On the other spectrum of things, Harry could feel the judgemental looks of a few mothers in particular. It really was a typical drop off then.
It’s a nice change having back up though, Harry thought. Usually he didn’t stick around very long to watch Morgan play, or if he did, he’d try to find Ms. Martinez to talk to if she wasn’t too busy. Sometimes trying to socialize with these parents was more trouble than what it was worth. Besides, Harry wasn’t one to socialize much in the first place, especially if it was anyone like certain mothers, and even more so if it was anyone like Helen Flannigan.
“Do you get to drop off Morgan a lot?” Teddy asked Harley.
“Not often, I recently started doing pickup, actually, but sometimes if Harry’s busy with work, I swoop in to help whenever I can.”
“Which we are very thankful for.” Harry cut in.
“Just another part of my job.” Harley laughed. “It was pretty fun the first time I picked her up though.”
Teddy caught on quickly and joined the laughter. “I couldn’t imagine the look on these mums' faces.”
Harry smiled at the memory of Helen marching up to him the next day and giving him a speech on how it was her duty to inform him as the president of the PTA that Pepper was seeing a younger man. “Imagine learning that your partner is cheating on you with her gay assistant. The horror!”
Another round of loud laughter cut through the screaming children on the playground. It really was nice having back up. The bell soon rang and the kids lined up next to their teacher. Once the three gave Morgan their last wave goodbye, it was back to the car and onto their next destination.
Harry never cared to stay at the Avengers compound longer than he had to. He really only ever visited under important circumstances, and was always accompanied by Pepper as if her being there gave him the pass to be there as well. Despite having a few nice conversations with the remaining Avengers team, he just felt out of place. He didn’t fight in their war. He wasn’t an Avenger. Tony made it for them, not Harry.
Pulling himself out of his thoughts, Harry watched the tunnel lights zoom by as they descended into the private parking garage. Most of the compound was underground for security reasons as the team had significantly grown since the war. There were all sorts of new secret squads, and teams, not to mention the ever expanding weapons and technology departments. All information Harry probably wasn’t supposed to know. Teddy buzzed about how it reminded him of the first time he went to the ministry with Harry. Teddy was 6 at the time, sitting up on his godfather's shoulders. Harry remembered how excited the kid was and how much pride he felt being able to show Teddy all the places he would tell him stories about. Now, Harry watched full with pride once again as Teddy excitedly talked to Harley all about it.
But something was holding him back. He was stuck at the entrance as Harley opened the door for the both of them. Harley furrowed his brow in concern, “are you alright Harry?”
“Yeah, I’m just-“ was all Harry could say before a smooth yet booming voice cut him off.
“Mr. Potter!” The three men whipped around to the back of the parking garage, and emerging from the dim lighting was Captain America, himself. “Good to see you again.”
Harry blanched. The last time he encountered THE Captain America was in an Accords meeting, and it didn’t exactly end well. A lot of questions were thrown as to why the presence of Harry was necessary, and since Harry couldn’t break the vow of secrecy, the conversation got a little too heated. He honestly didn’t think Cpt. Rogers liked him at all. Harry finally managed to stammer out, “y-yes, captain. Good to see you as well.”
“Please, call me Steve.” Steve smiled brightly as he caught up to the three of them. “I just want to apologize for our last meeting. Tempers were already high, and you were just caught in the middle of an incredibly long standoff between heroes and the government.” He approached that last word with distaste. Steve then patted Harry on the back and left a hand on his shoulder. “I hope I wasn’t the cause of your absence at the compound.”
“No, not at all.” Harry couldn’t really think of what to say to that, and didn’t really know what to do with the captain’s hand on his shoulder as if they were old pals. “Thank you, but I have my own reasons to not hang around here too often.” Damn, that didn’t sound the way he meant it to.
Steve didn’t seem to waver at the statement though. “Absolutely. Any friend of Pepper’s is welcome at the compound.” Friend. Harry didn’t have time to dwell on that for too long before the much taller, blonde man excused himself and headed into the building.
Once he was out of sight and earshot, Teddy piped, “That was bloody weird.”
“Uh, yeah.” Harley confirmed.
The older wizard just rolled his eyes wanting to brush off the encounter. “When do I ever have normal interactions?” And with that, Harry broke through his weird feeling of being stuck and entered the compound.
The rest of the day went about without any incident, and they definitely didn’t run into Steve again. By the end of it, Harry was mainly just tired, and ready to go home. Despite all of Teddy’s excitement and his own pride in Tony’s achievements, Harry couldn’t bear to relive anymore memories today. On the ride home, Harry let his mind wander. He tried meditation, but with the music playing underneath Harley and Teddy’s conversation, he couldn’t quite reach the peace he was looking for.
He thought about Pepper and how important she was to him, and how she brought Morgan into his life. He honestly didn’t know where he would be without them. And he really didn’t know what to do without Tony. Everyday these past few months have been so full of love and happiness, but every moment of silence he had to sit through, he could feel the missing piece. That hole in their lives that was tugging, pointing to Merlin knows where. It was like he was attached to a fishing line pulling and pulling with all of his might to not get dragged into the deep depths where the destination was all too clear. The force that was calling him. What was promising to fill that void. The Elder Wand.
The car came to a stop in the driveway to the Stark home, but Harry didn’t leave his own head. The boys said something about seeing him later, but Harry just nodded and walked inside without hearing anything they said. As he stepped onto the porch, he could hear whispering. Whether it was coming from inside the house or from inside his own mind, he did not know. There was no way for him to tell until he opened the door. He might’ve used too much force as the door slammed open, but he needed to know.
“Jesus, Harry!” Pepper jumped from the couch where she sat discussing with another woman.The whispering ceased, and Harry finally could take a deep breath. “Harry? Are you alright?”
His eyes, gliding over the two and across the room until they locked onto a hatch in the floorboards partially covered by a rug. Harry managed a quick glance to the other woman in the room, SHIELD's top agent, Natasha Romanoff. “My apologies Ms. Romanoff. I am not feeling quite myself.” The wizard took a slow step not taking his eyes off the floor.
Natasha stood, watching him curiously, trying to analyze the situation. “That’s alright.”
“Harry, what’s going on?” Pepper approached him trying to get him to look at her.
“I don’t know.” He tried to breathe slowly. “Just give me a minute, please.”
“Harry.” She stated firmly. “Look at me.”
Harry slowly lifted his head to her direction, yet there was something about him that still felt far away. “I don’t want this.” She froze. She was afraid she knew what this was going to be about. “Ms. Romanoff, if you could please excuse us.”
“I don’t think I can do that.” The spy crossed her arms.
“Natasha,” Pepper nodded to her, signaling it was fine. “Please.” Clearly unhappy with it, Natasha conceded and stepped into Pepper’s office.
Once the door closed, Pepper rounded back at him. “Is this about The Elder Wand?” Harry clenched his fist. “Is this about Tony?” He flinched. “Cause you know I’m here for you, right? I’m in this with you. I miss him so fucking much every single day. I don’t know how to help you with this wand, but I can help you with this pain.”
“I try so hard to block it out,” Harry finally turned to face her. He looked helpless, “but It keeps calling. I put up barriers, I drink potions, but none of it works. I can feel it in my hand, and I know-“ his voice breaks. “I just know that I won’t be able to control...”
It had been so long since Pepper had seen Harry like this. She had seen him scared plenty of times, but never to this extent. Never hopeless. At least, not since the funeral. She swiftly wrapped him in her arms trying in what little power she had to help him, heal him. To take all of the fear and hopelessness away from him. “You have a choice Harry. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”
“But I don’t. If I can still feel it, and I still know its presence, then it will never be gone.”
“Then we’ll destroy it.” That was a mistake.
“No.” Harry pulled away. His stare wasn’t far away anymore. He was looking her directly in the eye. “You can’t.”
Her own face hardened, matching his sudden hostile energy. “Why not?” Harry didn’t have an answer. “Harry. Tell me what’s going on?”
The tone of her voice alone snapped him out of it just enough to soften his face. He was scared. Scared by the new feelings and thoughts. “Pepper, I’m sorry, I just, I have to do this.”
Pepper carefully cupped his face in her hands. She couldn’t find the words. Above all, she was heartbroken watching Harry like this. She thought they were doing so well. Life had returned to a normalcy despite the major hole in their lives. Morgan was happy and doing well in school. Pepper was finally distributing out her responsibilities as CEO to spend more time with her family. And Harry, she thought he was doing better. Sure, they’d each have their bad days, but Harry’s nightmares have gotten milder and some nights he didn’t seem to have any at all. Even if she thought this was coming out of nowhere, she knew better than that. Harry was dealing with silently until recently, and Pepper wasn’t going to have it.
“Never apologize, Harry, please. This isn’t your fault.” She pulled him into a kiss. “I may never truly understand magic, but what I do know is what you’ve taught me. Nothing is black and white, not even magic.”
She was right, Harry thought. But, he still had to pull away. He still had to do what had been swimming across his mind for days. Harry approached the hatch in the floor, tossing aside the rug, and opening it up revealing the hidden staircase descending deep underground. He had been there several times before, but the hatch had been untouched since the funeral. He had never been down there without Tony. It was his lab after all.