War Of Teasing

Lena was exhausted.

The day had been an endless parade of meetings, boardroom battles, and last-minute fires that only she could put out.

By the time she finally stepped into her office, she was ready to collapse.

But then—

She saw Kara.

Sitting on her couch.

With takeout.

And wearing that soft, oversized sweater that made her look entirely too cuddly for Lena’s sanity.

Lena melted.

"You’re a lifesaver," she sighed, dropping into the couch beside Kara.

"I know," Kara said smugly, handing Lena a container. "You were in meetings all day. I figured you’d need food—and your daily dose of me."

Lena smirked. "Oh? And what if I’m already overdosing on you?"

Kara gasped. "Impossible. You need a healthy amount of Kara Danvers every single day to function properly."

Lena chuckled. "And who diagnosed me with this condition?"

"Me," Kara said proudly. "Doctor Danvers."

Lena rolled her eyes but took a bite of her food anyway.

And immediately groaned. "God, this is good."

Kara beamed. "Told you!"

Lena sighed contentedly, leaning back. "What would I do without you?"

"Starve," Kara teased. "And probably start drinking coffee intravenously or pass out in your office."

Lena hummed. "Wouldn’t be the worst thing."

"Lena."

"Kara."

"Eat your food."

"Yes, Mommy."

The room went silent.

Kara froze.

Lena froze.

And then—

A cough.

A very pointed, very awkward cough.

Lena’s stomach dropped.

Because standing right at the door—

Holding a tablet—

Looking deeply uncomfortable—

Was Jess.

Her assistant.

Who had, undoubtedly, just heard everything.

Lena slowly turned toward her. "Jess."

Jess cleared her throat. "Miss Luthor."

A beat.

A very long, painful beat.

Then—

"I’m just going to pretend I didn’t hear that," Jess said, setting the tablet down without making eye contact. "Your five o’clock meeting has been moved to tomorrow. Also, the board approved your proposal for the R&D expansion."

Lena nodded very stiffly. "Thank you, Jess."

Jess hesitated.

Then, with a deeply judgmental glance at Lena, she turned and left.

The second the door shut—

Kara lost it.

She cackled.

She doubled over.

She wheezed.

"Lena, what the hell was that?!"

Lena groaned, covering her face. "I hate you."

"Nooo," Kara wheezed. "You love me. You love me so much you call me Mommy in front of your employees!"

"I DID IT TO MESS WITH YOU!" Lena argued.

"Yeah?" Kara grinned. "How’s that working out for you?"

Lena glared. "Shut up and eat your food."

Kara beamed. "Yes, baby."

Lena threw a napkin at her face.

--- 

Lena was done.

Absolutely, completely done.

Because despite everything, despite all her efforts to shut this down—

Jess was still smirking at her.

Every. Single. Time.

For three days straight.

—

The first offense?

Jess walked in with coffee and paused just long enough before setting it down to say, "Your usual, Miss Luthor. Extra strong. Wouldn't want you getting cranky… Kara's baby girl."

Lena choked on air.

Jess left without another word.

—

The second offense?

A perfectly normal email.

Except it was signed:

Best regards,
Jessica "I know too much"

Lena deleted it violently.

—

The third?

The worst one yet.

She was in a board meeting, presenting.

She was poised, professional, in control.

And then—

Jess slid a note across the table.

Lena, still speaking, glanced down.

It read:

"I moved your 4 PM to 4:30. Also, should I be getting Kara a ‘#1 Mommy’ mug, or is that too much?"

Lena stopped talking mid-sentence.

Just. Stopped.

The entire room waited.

Lena slowly inhaled.

Then, without breaking her tight, CEO-grade smile, she picked up the note… folded it… and set it on fire.

Jess sipped her coffee, entirely unfazed.

—

By the end of the week, Lena was at her limit.

So when she walked into her office that evening and found Kara grinning at her desk, she narrowed her eyes immediately.

"What."

Kara held up a tiny, neatly wrapped box. "Gift."

Lena squinted. "I don’t trust you."

"Valid," Kara said cheerfully. "Open it anyway."

Lena, suspicious but intrigued, unwrapped the box.

Inside?

A black coffee mug.

With big, bold letters.

"WORLD’S GREATEST mommy's girl."

Lena stared at it.

Kara barely held back a laugh. "Do you like it?"

Lena set it down.

Very carefully.

Then she looked at Kara, voice deadly calm.

"Sleep with one eye open, Danvers."

Kara beamed. "Love you too, babe."