Sick of Being in Love
“Draco! Draco come back here and talk to me!” Harry shouted as he raced down the corridor after his friend. Their friendship had been fragile from the start, but they’d managed.
Then one day Draco just, stopped talking to him. It’d been 4 days and Harry couldn’t bear not knowing what he’d done wrong, and how he’d ruined their friendship.
“Draco please, stop running away from me!” He howled as the blonde continued to race off towards the east wing of the school. It was late, maybe 5pm so there weren’t many people around but those who were out in the corridors stared at both boys as they went past.
Finally Harry realised that Draco was about to run into a dead end, and if Harry caught up in time he’d be able to corner him.
A surge of energy sent Harry hurtling forward and he was able to trap Draco into the corner, bracketing him in place with his arms.
“Potter! Fuck off and let me go!” Draco cried, banging his fists at Harry’s chest.
“Not until you tell me why we aren’t friends anymore! I thought we were getting on!” Harry could see the tears edging into Draco’s eyes.
“Please, Draco-“
“Stop calling me that! Stop acting as if you fucking care about me!” Tears managed to escape down Draco’s face and he tried desperately to wipe them away, not looking at Harry.
Harry in turn grabbed Draco by his wrists and turned him back to face him, leaving the next tears to role freely down the Slytherins face.
“Look at me, and tell me what I did wrong, please.” Draco couldn’t bear looking at the pleading sadness in Harry’s eyes.
“I can’t, Potter. I can’t be friends with you, I want to be but I just can’t.” He went lax against the wall in defeat.
Harry loosened his grip on Draco’s wrists, fearing he’d hurt him. “But why? What did I do wrong?”
The other boy let out a sad kind of laugh. “You didn’t do anything, Potter, you couldn’t do anything wrong if you tried. But you can’t make this right either”.
“Just tell m-“
“I am, alright.” Draco closed his eyes.
“I’m in love with you, potter. Have been for a while. This year, coming back and having a second chance at everything, even being friends with you, was incredible. But I can’t help my feelings and I can’t bear being around you when I feel like this for you but you’re in love with her, Ginny, instead and you’re straight so I should never have gotten my hopes up when you wanted to be friends because now I’ve ruined the one thing that’s made me happy, but it hurts too much to be around you.”
Harry had no idea what to say. Thirty seconds of silence went by between them before Draco finally opened his eyes and looked at him, his face seemed so empty now as if the spark in him had been stamped out.
“I’m sorry”. Harry whispered. Draco shook his head.
“No, you don’t have to apologise, you can’t fix it because you didn’t break it in the first place”.
Draco took the opportunity to try and break away from Harry but the Gryffindor pushed him right back into the wall, causing them to stumble into each other.
And then Harry kissed him.
He kissed him with all the sorry he had, he kissed him with all the love he had for him, even if it was platonic, he kissed him because he didn’t know what else to do.
Draco didn’t fall into the kiss, but he wrapped his hand around Harry neck, as they stayed pressed against each other. Draco’s eyes were scrunched shut, with tears streaming down his face. It took all the power he had to push Harry away from him.
“Please don’t do that just because you think it’s what I want, please stop trying, Harry”.
He walked away from the Gryffindoor with pain in his heart.
Harry fell down against the wall as he watched his friend walk away. He wished he could be what Draco wanted him to be, needed him to be. He wished he could love him the right way.
But he couldn’t.