Crisp Apples

Remus didn’t get the chance to talk to Lily by herself for a long time. Either Lily sat with the Marauders in the common room, or James came along to the study sessions in the library, leaving Remus no time to ask her about her plans.

That was alright by him. After his conversation with the marauders, things were changing already; Sirius was much more open, and Remus could tell he was happy about his touches, more than he had let himself be happy about them before. Not to mention, Remus thought he could sometimes smell that Sirius loved him. Lily simply pushed them together from time to time, which wasn’t quite what Remus had expected, but that was fine. Being able to run his fingers through his hair or give him hugs was wonderful.

For a while, he wasn’t sure if Sirius liked him as anything more than just a friend (though that didn’t stop him from waiting up every night somewhat guiltily to see if he would masturbate so he could join him). He could tell he liked the hugs, but that might just be because he was so touch starved – he loved praise and affection more than the other Marauders did. His need for attention might have been one of the reasons he planned so many reckless pranks when they were younger.

But eventually – soon – smelling that delicious crisp apple smell occasionally at night wasn’t enough. Remus wanted more – wanted to be in a relationship with Sirius, wanted to see if he was wanted in return. Not to mention he wanted to taste that smell off of Sirius’ neck, lick into his mouth, be with him… he wanted so much, and if Sirius didn’t want the same thing, that was fine, but what if his suspicions were right? Then all of this waiting around would be stupid.

It started with him forgetting his clothes after a shower. Sirius seemed to react to his body, so would he like it if Remus was shirtless? He had seen it before, after full moons, but this would be different; it would be on purpose, and he wouldn’t be disgusting and bleeding. Remus had to work up every ounce of Gryffindor courage to walk out into the dorm in just a towel – all he could see when he looked in the mirror was the scars all over his torso – but the reaction from Sirius was immediate and strong, that delicious smell almost overwhelming, and Remus couldn’t hide a grin. He was grateful for his carefully placed towel. Damn.

After that, Remus just wanted more of a reaction. He could tell how much he was affecting Sirius, but he wasn’t sure if he should make the first move. He had said pretty explicitly that he wouldn’t react to anything that Sirius felt, and he didn’t want to make him uncomfortable about his attraction in any way, but damn did he want to smell that again.

In hindsight, he should have chosen a more remote location for his next attempt rather than the main street of Hogsmeade.

He had the idea while sitting in the Great Hall with the other Marauders. Sirius was listening to James and Lily talk about muggle fairy tales. He had been eating some ice cream, but it was all gone now; he just had the spoon absently in his mouth. Remus couldn’t take his eyes off of his lips the whole time he was eating it. He couldn’t help but think about what those lips could do to him, how they would feel on his fingers, on his cock. He was sure Sirius hadn’t known what he was doing, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t try something similar.

When he found the fruit lollipop in Honeydukes, he had to laugh. It was perfect; it tasted like lust, it was a rainbow, and it was phallic. Nice. He was also lucky that the unusual candy caught Sirius’ attention; he wasn’t sure how he would have gotten him to look in his direction otherwise.

Unfortunately, it worked a little too well. Remus was glad that the street was empty, and then glad that the tables at the Three Broomsticks were solid and comfortable, because the desire to touch and taste Sirius was making him weak in the knees. He barely managed to keep up conversation with Peter, playing a game that didn’t require much thought, because Sirius wasn’t helping at all. Not that he wanted this smell to stop, ever, but damn I probably shouldn’t do that again until I can actually jump his bones. Just knowing that the feeling was lust, and that it was directed at him, was almost too much to handle. He made sure to stay at that table as long as possible.

That night, he hoped hard that they were thinking of the same things, shut behind their curtains, silencing spells up. The undercurrent of apple hadn’t stopped all day, although it had been diminished since they had been at the Three Broomsticks, but now it was back stronger than ever, and Remus’ mouth was almost watering, thinking of tasting him, tracing his cock with his tongue. It took more than a little willpower to stop himself from crossing that short barrier between their beds, but when he was drifting off to sleep, he was glad he didn’t; he wanted Sirius to choose to do something other than look. He wanted this to be settled between the two of them, not just him.

The next morning, the downturn in Sirius’ mood was sharp.

Remus had been planning on trying something else today, in their dorm with just the two of them; that way, Sirius might try something on his own, or at least Remus could deal with the resulting erection right away. Maybe he would read on his bed with just his smallest pair of shorts on? Being naked might work better, but at least something would prevent potential embarrassment if Peter or James walked in. And he didn’t want to make Sirius uncomfortable if he didn’t want him.

His plan changed as soon as Sirius read the letter. He smelled sour and cold, like the sharp bite of winter air that stings the nose. He smelled overwhelmed. Remus knew he would leave the Great Hall; there were too many people there for Sirius to be feeling this, whether he minded Remus being able to tell what he was feeling or not.

After James explained who Alphard was, Remus went back to the dormitory. There was a large chance that Sirius had just gone to the Room of Requirement. He could check on the map; if he had gone somewhere else and there was a chance Remus could comfort him, he wanted to do that. He wanted to care for him.

Remus could tell Sirius had gone past as soon as he was in the common room. The smell pricked at his nose and throat, and it was definitely unpleasant, but it wasn’t overwhelming, and Remus wanted to hold him, wanted to help if he could.

“I’m glad I found you here. Can I lie next to you?” Remus didn’t know if that would be a good idea, didn’t even know if Sirius would say yes, but he didn’t want to just sit next to him on the floor and pretend that they were just friends. He wanted to love him, as much as he could.

“You can if you want.” As soon as Remus lay next to Sirius, he could tell he helped, and that was enough for him. He didn’t mean to be so close, exactly, but it felt right.

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For being here, instead of the Room of Requirement. For letting me hug you, and for you feeling whatever you want to feel.” For letting me love you. “Is this alright?”

“Yes. Thanks, for being here. This helps.”

“Good. I always want to take care of you.” Remus spoke without thinking, and almost cringed at his own words, but then Sirius took his hand, and all thoughts of pretending he didn’t feel so strongly flew out of his head.

“I’ve inherited his London apartment. The Marauders could all live there after this year is over, like we talked about… would you like that?”

“I would love that.” Remus’ response was instant; he had thought that living together was a children’s dream, of the four of them sticking together like the end of one of Lily’s fairy tales. He knew it was silly, but he still couldn’t shake the thought – who would want to live with an almost certainly underemployed werewolf? Remus was almost so overwhelmed by the question that he didn’t notice Sirius’ mood shift – Remus moving in with him honestly made him happy. He was still upset, and Remus didn’t blame him, it was a horrible thing that had happened, and his family always made him upset, but he was happy to live with Remus. He wanted that, for real.

Remus knew he would have to talk to him about whatever this was soon, or if he was rejected, the heartbreak might be too much.

It was only after that that he finally caught up with Lily. For once, she was studying in the library while James had quidditch practice, and Remus got her to himself.

“Hey Remus! I’ve been hoping to talk to you for some time now, how are you?”

“I’ve been trying to talk to you too, I’m fine. James talked to me a little bit about your conversation with him… how did it go?”

“It went well… you know he’s really bad at lying, right?” Remus thought he knew where this was heading, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to go there anyway.

“I know. What was he lying about this time?”

“Oh, you know, we talked about you being a natural Legilimens since you were a child. The child part wasn’t the lie, but we don’t have to talk about that if you don’t want to. I love you, Remus, and I would never stop being you friend…”

Remus was relieved she wasn’t beating around the bush. He didn’t like having this conversation, but he knew that Lily was being truthful; she cared about him. Remus cast a quite spell on the surrounding tables to make sure they weren’t overheard or noticed.

“I think you know already that I’m a werewolf. When did you find out?”

“I noticed when you were always tired around the full moons, and then later that all of you are. I didn’t realize that you could actually smell emotions, though, because so much other stuff in that vile book is incorrect, I mean who could possibly say that you’re viscous? I figured it was regular wizarding prejudice, so I tried to find multiple sources, but I could only find the scent thing in that one book… I can’t say that I mind, though, Remus, I trust you. Anyway, what do they do to help you? They must do something, last month Peter fell asleep in Transfiguration right on top of his cat.”

“You have to promise not to tell, Lily… I know you won’t, but this could get us – well, them – in way more trouble than usual.”

“I promise.”

“They’re illegal animagi.”

Lily’s mouth dropped open. “That’s so impressive! You must have been doing highly advanced magic – that was fourth and fifth year – how long did – Prongs? Wormtail? Are those based on their animal forms? Let me guess, a rat, for Peter?”

Remus nodded, grinning proudly at her reaction and at his friends’ brilliance. He was so grateful when they told him what they were doing, he broke down and cried, to which they all hug attacked him again, lead fearlessly by Sirius. He also thought the nicknames were a bit too obvious and was glad they mostly kept them to themselves and Lily, and a few other Gryffindors. If they were too widely known, what was the point of putting their nicknames right on their map, the best mischief-making device of all time?

“And Prongs,” Lily continued, “he must be something with antlers. A deer?”

“Right again!”

“And…” Lily suddenly turned pale. “Is Sirius… Padfoot… a big black dog?”

“Yeah, how did you know he was black? Have you seen him?”

“I’m so sorry, Remus, I didn’t know… I had that conversation with James out past the Quidditch pitch, and he had a huge black dog with him. He tried to get rid of him before I talked about you and Sirius, but I didn’t know…”

Now it was Remus’ turn to pause. He should have put together what happened so much sooner; he knew Sirius and James were on a walk, he knew Sirius liked to run as Padfoot when his emotions were too much, he knew Lily talked to James and Sirius had gone to the Room of Requirement… but he was glad he hadn’t put it together before now. It seemed like so much less of a big deal after all that had happened since then.

“It’s alright, Lily, you’re fine.” Remus could tell Lily was upset at herself by the scent of smoke, but he couldn’t be mad at her, she hadn’t known. And James was truly terrible at making up excuses. “What did you tell him?”

“I told him you were bi… I’ve talked to James about that, I really didn’t mean to tell him, I thought you would have said already, since they already knew about your Lycanthropy. I’m sorry about that too. I told him that you liked Sirius’ new smell, and I may have said that I think you have a crush on him…”

Remus almost laughed. Lily had told Sirius (accidentally) that she thought he liked him, and then… that night, Sirius had let Remus feel that he loved him, and had gotten off in his own bed, letting Remus smell him. When he knew he liked it.

And then, after telling James that in front of Sirius, Lily had continued to push them together.

“You were right. Lily, I have to go tell him.”

“Okay, I did not know that that was where this conversation was headed, but go for it, Remus! Moony, fucking Merlin, your name is Moony, why didn’t I put that together beforehand? Anyway, you got this, you can do it!” Lily cheered him on as he shoved his books back into his bag, barely unpacked from when he first sat down in the library.

In no time at all, he was headed back to the dormitory, where he could find the map to see where Sirius was. He passed James and Peter playing some sort of multi-tiered version of wizard’s chess in the common room, which he knew could take a long time. He considered just asking James, who waved at him – he would probably know where Sirius was, anyway – but instead, he went up the stairs and finally to the seventh-year boys room.

When he got in the door, heart pounding with newfound determination, the smell of crisp apples almost hit him in the face. His first instinct was to look at Sirius’ bed, but it was empty, with the map lying open to show the path from the library to the tower. Past that, he could see the tips of Sirius’ long black hair spreading out on his own pillow, and the rest of Sirius’ form hidden under Remus’ blankets.

“Sirius,” Remus breathed, stepping further into the room. Sirius was in his bed. Sirius was horny. Sirius was horny in his bed, and knew he liked it, and Remus absolutely knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep at all that night with a scent like that all over his pillows. Which may have been Sirius’ plan.

“Moony.” Sirius’ reply was breathy too, and his scent had a hint of something unpleasant – mold, perhaps? He was nervous.

Remus meant to go and comfort him, but when he went to pull back the covers from Sirius’ head the crisp apple scent was so strong that what ended up coming out of his mouth was almost a growl; “You are driving me crazy.” His fingers had ended up in Sirius’ hair, and although he probably hadn’t been comforting in the slightest, the nerves were almost gone.

“What do you want, Moony love?” Sirius was grinning at him, devouring him with his eyes. Remus couldn’t stop staring at the greyish silver, his perfect eyes, his lovely face. His soft hair.

“I – I want – Sirius, you know what I want…” Remus couldn’t focus enough to think. Sirius was right here, wanting him, in his bed. Sirius, whose mouth was slightly open, who smelled like the best candy in the world, who was leaning in towards Remus’ hand in his hair. Telling Sirius he loved him could come later. “Let me touch you.”

“Please.” Sirius almost whispered, and Remus was lost.