Chapter 1
There was scuffling and urgent whispering outside the main ballroom of 12 Grimmauld place, Walburga raised and eyebrow and looked at her bonded. The look exchanged between them communicated a ‘what on earth do the children want’, as usual at the summer solace, adults were gathering in the main ballroom, whilst the children under eight were playing (rioting most people said) in the small family parlour. But apparently a heated discussion had broken out between them, and they wanted the adults to mediate between the different groups. Walburga summoned Kreacher their head elf and instructed him to let the children come into the main ballroom, after all there was nothing that the children could say or do that would floor her or the other adults in the room. Out the corner of her eye she saw Thaddeus Fitzwilliam shaking his head ‘no’, but she ignored him, after all the children were innocents and there argument may lighten the atmosphere in the ballroom. Taking the tension out of the room between the light side supporters of Albus Dumbledore and the dark side supporters of Tom Riddle AKA Lord Voldemort, she herself was getting a tension migraine that would last at least a week from trying to stop a all out war between the two groups.
Kreacher showed in the group of children, led by Sirius, their was his brother Regulas, Severus Fitzwilliam nee Snape, James Potter and Severus best friend Lydia. Lydia was dragging a pale young werewolf called Remus Greyback, who looked very scared and seemed almost ready to meet death himself. Frank Longbottom was striding angrily into the room, Walburga woundered what had upset the light side poster child. The rest of the children including her nieces came into the room but stayed on the sidelines
The group of children stopped by Walburga chair, and Sirius bowed to his parents. It was amazing thought Orion, how Sirius and James Potter mixing with other children and attending a good private mundane school had started to shape them into nice young boys. Sirius took a deep breath, composed himself and asked very seriously to his mother “Mother! Is Chief Warlock Dumbledore a pervert….” At this the room grew very quiet and number of guests were trying not to choke on their drinks that they had just asphisated . Thaddeus and his son just closed their eyes and shook their heads, after looking at each other. To be fair Thaddeus bonded was obviously enjoying herself. Orion suddenly shook himself and took over the children’s questioning, after all he knew Walburga only had a minute bit of patience when it came to hoisting these lavish balls and occasions, and he did not want anything to derail the good progress between his bonded and their eldest son Sirius.
Orion took a swift gulp of his whiskey and interrupted Walburga before she went on a tirade “Why do you ask that Sirius?”
Sirius look at his mismatch of friends and answered “Welllll! James mother is to have another baby, and Lydia told us that her mum when she had her baby brothers …which according to her is not at all fun to play with..Well you know they just cries, sleeps and drinks milk…anyway, Lydia’s mum said that her baby brother was made when her dad Penis became hard and then he put into her mum’s vagina, they both had something called an organism….which allowed her dad’s sperm”
“Which are like very tiny frog spawn” helpfully added James to the conversation. Sirius rolled his eyes and continued as if his best friend hadn’t interrupted him “to meet her mums egg! And then nine months later her mum gave birth to a noisy, little baby brother…and that apparently is how all children and most animals are born”. Orion just nodded for Sirius to continue, wanting to know what the tenuous link between sex, child birth and Albus Dumbledore being a pervert fitted together in the children’s minds.
Severus now continued the explanation looking very disdainfully at Heir Frank Longbottom “Frank here has stated that Lydia is wrong and that Dumbledore is right!” A sniff from him, let everybody in the room know what he thought of Franks thinking process, for him Lydia was almost always right, and if she didn’t know she would've ask her mum before she was killed who would explain things to her. But now that duty fell thank Merlin thought Orion to her adopted mother Walbuga. Hence the sex talk at the age of four, when her mum was pregnant with her baby brothers and answered her curious daughters questions on where her little brothers were coming from “Frank states that Dumbledore says a Stork brings the babies…” suddenly Orion had a sinking feeling of where this conversation was going, he look at his bonded to find that she was trying not to look at anybody else, to stop herself from laughing. It also didn’t help that the ballroom was so quiet waiting for the end of the children’s question and answer, everybody including the Black House Elves waited with baited breath for his answer “WELL IF DUMBLEDORE HAS SEX WITH A STORK TO GET A BABY! Doesn’t that make him a pervert, cause Lucius says that it’s against both mundane and magical law to have sex with animals and make them pregnant….also Andomedia heard that to use a feather is kinky, but using the whole Chicken or Stork in this case would be perverted! So as Bella said to Heir Frank and I am quoting her exact words ‘you are just a complete brown nosed arse licker, whose family believes Dumbledore walks on water….when he is just a pervert who likes to make babies with Storks!”
“Yes father? Who is correct is it Frank who believes Dumbledore is Merlin himself, or Lydia’s mum who told her how babies are made” Regulas added, then he continued in the same vein “Also does mother make your penis hard the same way, or does she do something different every time….so you can have more than one baby!”
“Cause apparently mother has to either rub your penis, or blow on it……..but how can mother swallow your penis without eating it father?” , and with that the children just looked at each other perplexity as their parents and the others including the house elves in the ballroom started to fall about laughing. Except for Frank Longbottom parents and other light side supporters who left the solace party in outrage. Stating that if they did not get a formal apology from the Blacks and the children present for corrupting their precious children’s minds, they would never come to another hosted dark supporter event
In the room a middle age Tom Riddle just smiled to himself, hopefully with these inquisitive children, they would not just except the lies that Albus Dumbledore and light side told. And Walburga was so grateful to the children present for ensuring that Dumbledore supporters were so outraged that they would never come to another party event hosted by a dark aligned family, yes the children especially her sons were wonderful!