Louis
I sit, as I do most days, in the same chair. I spend my time thinking, hoping, and longing for the family I once had. Even through the lens of my sorrow, I see that I am hurting Lestat with my behavior, but I can’t seem to stop. The sadness brought upon by Claudia’s departure clings to me like a shadow. It also seems to weigh me down, making even the most mundane tasks difficult. However, there is another feeling that lives in tandem with my sorrow…my anger. My anger at Lestat for pushing Claudia away, for betraying me with Antionette, for trying to move on without our daughter. It burns like a fire deep in my belly and I can’t help but let it erupt. This is my life now, sadness and anger on a never-ending cycle. This night appears to be like any other in recent memory until I feel a tingling in the back of my mind. The presence is faint but all too familiar and it fills my heart with hope. Claudia has come home. Claudia has come home. I think this thought over and over each time with more reverence than the last. She walks in looking the same as she always has since Lestat turned her. Even though her looks are unchanged she has this look in her eyes that stops me in my tracks. She looks older somehow, wiser, but also more haunted. All I can do is walk toward her, hug her, and say two words.
“Thank you”. Lestat, never one to be ignored, breaks up this touching moment to air his inevitable grievances.
“The prodigal daughter” he sneers.
“I’ve come to apologize. I put you both in a bad spot. I wasn’t right in my head. I am now” Claudia says. I can tell it takes a lot for her to apologize. This is a trait she, ironically, inherited from Lestat.
“Apology not accepted,” he said. The breath left my body, I couldn’t believe he would do this. Ruin this moment for all of us. We’re together again; can’t that be enough for him?
“How was college? Magna Cum? Summa Cum? Phi Beta Kappa?” he continued with his tirade.
“I’ve read a lot of books. Started with Persia and Babylon, the old gods who longed for blood. A lot of it was popcorn, but a few old tomes. A Romanian tract on “vampirs”. A strange old Hungarian text, “Masticatione Mortuorum”, the “chewing dead”. I plan to leave for that part of the world as soon as I can” she said. I recognized her attempt to stay calm and keep her temper in check. She did not want to let her emotions rule her in this moment, which is one of the biggest differences between her and Lestat. He whose emotions often transform him.
“So, quick stop home to do laundry before you fuck off for good,” he says vitriolically.
“A quick stop to pick up Louis” she throws back.
Suddenly her plan becomes clear to me. She came here to take me with her. She wants both of us to leave Lestat and start an adventure together. I can’t lie, the idea thrills me and leaves me aching in equal measure. Lestat, I knew, would not take this lying down.
“Oh. Perused a few folklore anthologies and now you’re going to cross an ocean and take on a society of monsters” he mocks.
“If what I read is lies then tell me what’s true” she challenged.
Silence. She scoffs.
“Seven years and what’s changed except you need a housekeeper” she mocks in tandem. This comment spurs Lestat to walk toward her and loom above her.
“The vampires out there are vicious,” he says before coming to some sort of realization. “Oh…but you’ve learned that already. Who did you meet out there in the American hinterland?”. He then turns to me and says, “Read her Louis”. However, Claudia is not one to be intimidated so she responds.
“That’s it, keep him scared. That’s his way” she says.
“The vampires in Europe are much, much worse,” he says reiterating his earlier point.
“But I think he’s scared” she continues. Lestat, hurt, lashes out in anger as he usually does.
“I’ve never asked. How did Charlie taste? Like the love you’ll never know?”.
“And when he’s scared, he ridicules” she interrupts.
“She was a destitute little girl, destined to live an inconsequential little life” he yells. The anger this comment elicits from me finally gives me the courage to speak for the first time since this argument commenced.
“And we took it from her. We cursed her”. I couldn’t keep the sadness from my statement. However, Claudia saw my interference as an opening and began to speak to me within my mind.
“Come with me! Come with me Louis!” she begged. Lestat observed our silence and correctly guessed that we were communicating in a way he would never be able to hear. He muttered my name in confusion.
“Lou”. This prompted Claudia to speak out loud again.
“I thought I could live without you, but I was wrong,” she said.
“Louis. Louis!” Lestat yelled, anger replacing sadness.
“His love is a small box he keeps you in. Don’t stay in it!” she tries to persuade me.
“A thousand nights of sulking and the first sight of her, you’re going to just up and leave me” he demands.
“Please come with me! Let’s be vampires worthy of your love!” Claudia yells.
Within a split second of Claudia saying that I see Lestat lunge at her. Anger fills my veins and spurs me into action. He must have truly lost his mind if he thinks I’m going to allow him to put his hands on our daughter. The mere idea makes my stomach turn and my fangs drop. I’m not fast enough to completely intercept him but I can slam into him, throwing him off course. This starts a battle between us both. A battle I should be losing based on pure strength, but my anger lends power to me. I fight like I never have in my entire life. We fight through the living room, up the stairs, and into our bedroom. I hear Claudia calling my name and I vaguely remember telling her to stay where she is. I rushed behind Lestat and moved to slam his head into my coffin, but he sensed this move a turned to me quickly. He pushes me and I slam into the wall, smacking my head so hard that the boom of my head hitting wood resounds within the room. The head wound drains all the fight from my body and disorients me for a couple of seconds. I slide down the wall and land in a dead heap on the floor. This is it; I can’t fight anymore. I wait for another blow…but it never comes. I open my right eye since it’s the only one not swollen, and see Lestat sitting on the ground as well. He’s leaning back on the coffin and he is panting. He has blood all down his face and his left arm looks to be bent at an odd angle. We sit there for a beat, and I remember telling Claudia to stay put again but not much else for a couple of minutes. When I finally come to it looks like Lestat is also gaining his bearings. We stare at each other for what seems like an eternity until I break the silence.
“You were going to put your hands on her. Claudia. Our daughter” I can’t even muster up anger anymore, only pure disappointment and sadness. I thought I had seen Lestat at his lowest, but this has proven to be an all-time low. For a couple of seconds, he says nothing as the blood flows down his face. I’m not sure if it’s from his head wound or if he’s crying, and I’m not sure if I even care.
“You were going to leave me,” he says in a tone so grave, I had never heard him speak that way. The statement catches me off guard but not for long. I can’t help but scoff in disgust.
“So, me thinking about leaving for a split second warrants you putting your hands on Claudia. That’s your excuse?!?” I demand.
“I didn’t…I didn’t mean to lunge at her. I was just angry. I would have never…I wasn’t. I’m sorry” he says with his head hung low.
“Why do you even care if I leave? All you have done is whine about how I’ve acted since Claudia left. You’ve had no problem seeking comfort in Antionette. I figured you would be glad to be rid of me and my moods” I yell.
“You can’t believe I would want you to leave Louis!” he yells. “I made a vow to you in the church the night I turned you to spend eternity together and I meant that”.
“Then what about Antionette?” I whispered.
“She means nothing to me Louis! She is nothing but a distraction. You are everything, she is nothing” he implores looking at me with eyes that beg me to believe him. I don’t know if I can, I don’t know if I ever will again.
“We were happy once…our family. I can’t say I didn’t have a part in Claudia’s unhappiness, but I was not what caused her to leave. You called her a mistake and then you went off and fucked your whore. I don’t blame her for leaving and you have no fucking right to blame me for considering the same” I snarl at him. He looks down, ashamed.
“What can I do Louis? What can I do to make amends? What can I do to make you stay?” he begs.
“Let me make one thing extremely clear to you. You can’t make me stay. You can’t make me do anything. I am going with Claudia. You could almost certainly keep both of us here by sheer strength alone, but we will never forgive you. I will never forgive you. So, now you have a couple of options available to you. You can do what I just mentioned and live an eternal life with us as your prisoners and we will hate you for it. You can stop fighting us and let me and Claudia go off alone. Or you can apologize to me and Claudia, get rid of Antionette, tell us what you know about vampires, and come with us. Claudia is going to go to Europe. No matter what you tell her she won’t trust your word, not after how you’ve treated her. Even if you tell her that the vampires will kill her on sight she will never believe you. You have kept secrets from her and outright lied to her for as long as she can remember. She is going to want to find these other vampires herself and know the truth for certain. If they are as dangerous as you say we are going to need your help and protection. Do you hear me? Help and protection, not lies and control. I’m done with how things have been, I can’t take it anymore. So, decide, but think about me and our daughter before you answer because this decision can’t be undone” I said severely. Giving him this ultimatum leaves me with a sense of dread because I know regardless of what he chooses things will never be the same. The unknown is scary but in this case necessary. He contemplates for a minute or so and then speaks.
“I may have withheld information from both of you, but I’m not lying when I say that the vampires in Europe will not take kindly to either of you. Frankly, they won’t take kindly to me either. The last time I was there, I didn’t leave on good terms. I don’t know if I can keep you both safe there“ he says. He looks frightened, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look frightened. I’ve seen him look angry, sad, guilty, happy, but never frightened.
“Why wouldn’t they take kindly to us?” I ask.
“There are rules that all vampires must adhere to. I’ve never been much for rules, but some of the older vampires seem to follow them to the letter. One of the rules is that turning a vampire without the express permission of your coven leader is not allowed. I don’t have a coven leader, but there are surely older vampires that I should’ve asked permission from before turning you or Claudia. In a world where these laws meant anything to me. However, the most important grievance would be Claudia’s age” he says quietly.
“What about her age?“ I say, my voice shaking.
“It is against the laws to turn a child. Not only did I turn Claudia without the consent of a coven leader, but I turned a child. I fear that the moment we step foot on that soil, they will sense us. Then they will hunt us and kill us, maybe altogether maybe one at a time” he says while laughing derisively.
“Which vampire are you most worried about?” I ask.
“His name is Armand. He’s the coven leader in Paris. He killed Nicki. He wanted me to stay there and be his companion, but as you know I’m not fond of being under anyone’s control. If I were to return to Paris with Claudia and you, he would see it as a slight. I don’t know the lengths he would go to punish me or you by extension” he says, looking at me with desperation. Suddenly, we are interrupted by a third voice coming from the door.
“ How am I supposed to know that you’re telling the truth? All I have ever wanted was to know about our kind. Every time I asked you, I was rebuffed. Every time I questioned you, you called me a mistake. I need to go to Paris and meet this coven. A lot of time has passed since you were there, perhaps they have changed. It may seem foolish of me, but I cannot take your word as truth. I’ve spent my entire life as a third in yours and Louis great love story. I need to know if I’m truly alone or if there’s someone out there like me who can understand me. Someone who would choose me” Claudia says with determination. Lestat and I stare at her mouths agape. We can both see now that she will cross the ocean with or without us.
“So the question is are you both going to come with me? Will you help me uncover the answers I need to be content in this half-life? Or will you continue to cage me?” she says while sneering. I do not say anything, for it is clear that I will go with her. We both look towards Lestat for his answer. He takes a beat and then speaks.
“This is a mistake, mark my words,” he says, now standing and looking at us imperiously. I deflate at his words and Claudia’s eyes sharpen. She seems about to speak up again until he interrupts her.
“However, I cannot just allow my fledglings to go travel unaccompanied and get themselves killed. I will come with you and I will do the best I can to protect you. That is all I can promise” he says looking slightly melancholy.
“Good, and don’t bother apologizing to me until you mean it. I’m going to start preparing my things, you both should do the same” Claudia says before turning and stalking off. She looks so much like Lestat when she does that. Lestat and I are left in the room alone, staring at each other. The energy is charged with a feeling I can’t describe. I’m not sure whether to feel hope or dread, but I do know that things are about to change. I believe we could’ve stayed there, staring at each other for quite some time if Claudia’s voice did not interrupt us from downstairs.
“Don’t think you’ll get out of telling us more about vampires and make sure you take care of Antoinette soon because I won’t be delayed” she yells. We both wince.