“I just don’t understand why you’re going to walk down the aisle alone.”
Buck lets his forehead rest against the window of his hotel room. His mother’s hurt voice crooning behind him as she tried to force him to feel guilty.
“Your mother is right, Evan, if your husband is allowed the company, you should also-“
Buck whirls around to face them, anxiety and stress of the day already overstimulating him without all of their nonsense.
“He isn’t my husband yet, you are forgetting exactly why we are here today.” Buck motions with his hand to the sprawling gardens outside. He could see the decorations and Hen milling about making sure everything was perfect for the long-awaited Buckley/Diaz wedding. Athena was not far behind Hen. The light pink of her dress fitted in with the lilac and white flowers Eddie had picked. She wore the dress specifically because Buck had mentioned it was his favourite and knew his birth mother would wear something drastic just to clash with the décor.
And the off white colour of Margaret's dress had already drawn several annoyed looks from his family.
“This wedding is a mix of everything we have chosen for ourselves, Mom. Things that bring us joy and the fact that Eddie has chosen his Tia and Abuela to walk him down over his parents is because he has decided that it would make him the happiest. They have always been there for him and have always supported the choices he has made, the complete opposite of his parents.” Buck explains again for the twentieth time today. “You are my parents and I love you a lot… it just doesn’t make up for everything that we have been through. I am so happy you decided to come to my wedding and I will always be thankful for it, but having you walk me down the aisle when truly you haven’t been a part of my life with Eddie, doesn’t bring me the joy that I want today.”
Margaret scoffs. “You have never invited us into your life with that man-“
“Eddie. You know fine well his name is Eddie.” Buck interrupts her. “And yes, I never invited you into it because the last thing I wanted was for you to ruin this for me when he is the first person in my life that wasn’t Maddie to truly see who I am.”
“You can’t put that on us, Evan. You know what we went through when you were a child.” Philip argues, putting an arm around his wife’s shoulder. “It’s cruel to punish us for something in the past.”
Buck looks away from them, eyes focusing on the freshly steamed suit hanging in the open wardrobe. Maddie would be here any minute now to help him get ready, and he can’t imagine the reaction she would have to this whole conversation.
“No,” Buck whispers. “Punishing me for being born was cruel. Punishing me for my brother's death was cruel. Using your grief as my punishment is cruel. And guilting me for finding happiness apart from you on the day I marry the love of my life is cruel.” Buck’s eyes are staring right into the eyes of his mother by the time he’s finished speaking. Tears sting his eyes, but a weight falls from his chest. “You have ruined a lot of things for me, but I will not let you make those decisions today. I have decided to walk down that aisle alone, and it isn’t some form of revenge against you because this is my life. I want to be happy, so I’ve decided to be so, and I would be happy if you could respect that and be the parents you once were for Maddie and Daniel.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Margaret thunders.
Buck throws his hands up. “It means love me. It means be happy because I am happy.” A manic grin breaks out across Buck’s face. “I have been in love with Eddie for so long and finally I get to call him mine! I finally have the family I have always longed for in the form of my best friend and our son.”
Philip holds up a hand. “Of course we’re happy for you, but cutting us out of a role like this, as your parents-“
“You aren’t! because here you are doing it again- making the day all about you when it’s not.” Buck takes a step towards them. “I’m going to give you two options here. Either you accept that I won’t have you giving me away and enjoy the fact that your son is getting married… or if you can’t get past your entitlement for once, then you are free to go.” A wild hand gestures to the door. “I will not have anything ruin our day, and if that means I have to kick you out… well, I’m sure Athena would be happy to do the job for me.”
His mom lets out a pathetic little sob. “You truly have no shame, Evan!” She screeches before turning on her heel and storming out of the room.
Philip just stares his son down for a moment before delivering the finishing blow.
“Don’t come crawling back to us when you inevitably screw this up Evan.”
He is gone before Buck could think of a reply.
Neither of them answered whether they were staying or not, but he suddenly found that he wished the invite had never reached them in the first place. The little boy in him was stupid enough to believe they could be happy for him, just once.
His dad’s parting words echoed around the room and into the hallway outside the open door.
The words were aimed perfectly to hit all of his insecurities, all of the insecurities Eddie had spent years trying to get rid of.
Buck couldn’t help but think that the words could be true. His track record didn’t exactly help in the matter. Was he being selfish right now, tying Eddie down with a ticking time bomb that was always bound to explode?
He had been blinded by just how easy it was to be in love with Eddie and to have the love returned. It was truly the most comforting feeling in the world, knowing that the person who understood and saw him over all else could also be his best friend. The same best friend who had seen all his worst moments and still accepted him with open arms.
It was a love he never truly had seen coming his way… but what if it was never meant to? His parents had watched him grow up for years and had seen just how many people had walked out, even though they had walked out.
But he also knew that a lot of the reasons he had lost so much were because of what his parents had done. He couldn’t blame all of his failings in life on them, but those years spent finding himself before the academy came from the need to run. His life had been pointless and aimless back then because no one had ever believed in him.
But Eddie did believe in him.
Would he throw all of that away? All because someone used the words designed to hurt him.
There was always the chance of getting your heart broken, no matter the person. Maddie had the same thing when Tommy had used that very excuse to break up with him.
Even if that excuse turned out to be the truth. Buck would’ve always figured out his feelings for Eddie, no matter if he were single or not. Things with Tommy were never mean.
Buck lets his eyes travel to the suit still hanging up. They had picked their suits together on a random stormy Thursday.
The storm had escalated to lightning as the day went on and Buck had seen how each of those flashes affected Eddie.
So he decided spontaneously to go suit shopping, to show Eddie that he was alive and right by his side, ready to make a life commitment.
If he gave up on this now, on this day, not only would he risk ruining his own life, but he would risk breaking Eddie’s heart.
“Knock knock.”
Buck’s eyes fly to the hotel room door, finding Bobby standing there in his dark green suit.
“Bobby?”
“Mind if I come in?” Bobby asks. “I overheard the groom wasn’t happy, and I won’t allow that today.”
Buck smiles at that.
Of course, Bobby would come to check on him.
“Please come in, Bobby.” Buck pleads, running a hand through his hair. He hadn’t even tried to tame the curls yet, knowing that now they had gotten longer, it would take a while. “Maddie won’t be here for another few minutes, and I could… I could use the company.”
Bobby matches his smile before closing the door behind him. “She was the one who sent me here.”
“She did?”
Bobby takes a seat on the couch and pats the spot next to him. “Well, I have something I want to give you, Buck… I’ve been saving it for a few years without really meaning to, and today seems like the best day for you to have it.”
Buck slowly moves until his perched next to Bobby.
“What is it?”
Bobby pulls a small book out of the pocket in his jacket. It wasn’t exactly the biggest thing, but enough that it was hidden from view. “Athena helped make some changes and add a few things in.” Bobby holds the book out to him.
He opens the first page slowly, only to be met with a picture of himself.
It was an old picture of him from his days in the academy. The very picture Bobby would have been sent the moment Buck had been assigned to the one eighteen. The fresh-faced boy looking back at him felt like a stranger, but also someone he knew down to the core. A wave of protectiveness washes over his body as he looks into the eyes of his younger self. This kid was going to go through a lot, but the shine in those eyes was the very image of someone who knew he belonged.
“You were my first probie back then, Buck… I don’t know why I kept it at the time, you were just a little punk who was everything I was back in the day.” Bobby explains as Buck turns the page to see a newspaper clipping. At first it was nothing special, only a picture of him holding up the unsteady victim they had saved. “That was the first time you took on a rescue by yourself. I also like to think of it as the first time you went full Buck before we knew that was a thing.”
Buck tries to remember that day but his mind stays blank.
“I was so proud of you that day because I got to see the man behind the façade you wore. I was so caught up in my problems back then but somehow you always broke through it, even if I couldn’t always show you.” Bobby’s eyes linger on the page until Buck turns it over.
Pressed tightly to the pages was his first name tag, so old that Buck wasn’t even on it; instead, it proudly displayed Evan. “Where did you get this?”
Bobby shrugs. “It was the first one you owned, the first one you wore when I met you. We had to change it quickly because you went by Buck and it confused other members of the team.” A faint chuckle follows his words.
The next page Buck flicks too simply holds a flattened piece of metal, one sharp and charred at the edge. “I have no idea what this is.” Buck trails a finger across the charred chunk.
Bobby grins at the sight of it. “I have made many bad decisions in my life Buck, but the decision to find you a partner will always be one of my best, alongside marrying Athena and deciding to move to LA.” Bobby takes the book from Buck’s hand. “Inside this book is almost a decade of your life, bits that you never even thought to remember because they were so small in the grand scheme of things; however, this bit of metal signifies exactly where you are today.”
Buck stares at it. “I still don’t know what it is.”
“It’s nothing, just a lasting shard of metal, I can’t tell you if it belonged to the grenade or the ambulance… but this was the beginning of the friendship you are cementing in marriage today.”
“Oh… Bobby-“ Tears flow from Buck’s eyes immediately. “Why did you keep this?”
“Because I saw what you couldn’t. I saw something special in both of you from the moment you laid eyes on Eddie.” Bobby lays the book in his lap, leaving the shard of metal on display for both of them. “You’ve always been an all-or-nothing kind of guy, Buck, during and after work hours. I think you didn’t understand that until you went through what you did with Abby, and I saw your walls go up when she left. You realised just how important people were in your life after years of searching for stability, so you cherished the relationships you had and shoved away anything that could ruin what you had built.”
“You guys were my family, before we ever were a family,” Buck whispers, he couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. This talk with Bobby has been years in the making, so long that Buck thought they never would have it. The idea had felt wrong at the time, but slowly he learned to live with it and feel grateful they had this unspoken bond.
“You made us a family, Buck.” Bobby reaches out to wipe away the tears on his cheek. “When Eddie came along, I think you felt so much for him all at once, and it threatened everything you tried to protect. You misunderstood those feelings and lashed out because that’s how you were raised to be.” Bobby moves his hand to hold onto Buck’s. “I have never felt this type of pride before… I spent too much time mourning that I would never get to see my children grow up into amazing humans that I didn’t realise I was living that wish every day I worked with you.”
“Bobby-“
“You are my son, Buck, and we’ve known it since I fixed your tie in the locker room. You have made mistakes and I’ve been there to witness them all, but you have also made so many amazing decisions that have made my pride fit to burst because I get to know that my son made them.”
Bobby looked close to tears, and Buck was openly crying.
“And to see you today, marrying the man you love and enjoying all the happiness you have created together. Accepting a child into your life the way I did with you- god, I feel like this is where I was always meant to end up.”
“We were both meant to end up here.” Buck agrees.
“Yes we were and from the moment Eddie asked for my blessing to marry you that you were going to be loved the way you deserve to be, because Eddie could have gone to anyone or no one at all to ask that… but he chose me, because he understands you and see’s everything with such acceptance that it’s almost impossible to believe where you both started.” Bobby picks up the book again with his free hand. “Which is exactly what I told him and why this little shard of metal isn’t whole.”
Buck raises an eyebrow in confusion. “Not whole?”
Bobby tugs gently at the hand he holds, drawing Buck’s attention to his hand and the shiny silver ring on his finger. “A reminder of how you started and where you are now. Melted down and redesigned as a symbol of you both.”
A shuddered breath tumbles from Buck’s lips as the light catches off the ring in an explosion of light.
“Oh oh god… oh Bobby I-“ Sobs wrack his body as a smile grows on his face. “I love him so much- I love you, Bobby.” Buck throws himself into his father’s arms, finally feeling true fatherly acceptance for the first time in his life.
“I love you too, kid, and Eddie is beyond in love with you too… so why don’t we get Maddie in here to get you ready?”
“The words escape without permission, but Buck knows it feels right. “Would… would you help me?”
Bobby looks taken aback for a moment, but then a slow smile grows on his face. “You know Maddie thought you would say that, she’s enjoying the complimentary cocktails downstairs with Karen.”
“Is that a yes?” Buck laughs.
“Of course it is a yes, do you think you’d be able to tie that tie on your own?” Bobby pats his hand before standing up. “No, that’s what fathers are for.”
Tears threaten to spill again, but Buck pushes them away.
A thought pops up in his head, something so joy-inspiring that it almost makes his knees weak as he stands.
Bobby wanders over to where Buck’s suit hung and every thought of the argument he just had with his parents vanished.
He suddenly doesn’t care if they already left or are just around sulking somewhere because for once Buck didn’t bend to their whim.
“Bobby?” Buck asks, watching as Bobby reaches for the suit.
“Yeah, kid?”
A smile was growing on Buck’s face before the words even left his mouth because there was another job for fathers on their kid's wedding day. One that Buck was sure Bobby would never say, not too.
“Will you give me away?”
Bobby slowly turns his head to look at Buck, complete awe in his eyes.
“Of course I will.”
It was simple.
No questions, no entitled answers, just a simple acceptance of Buck’s wishes.
It was exactly what Buck needed.
The full circle moment was not missed in Buck’s mind. Today Bobby would be giving him away to Eddie just as he had given Eddie to Buck all those years ago.
This day never would have happened if Bobby hadn’t taken the time to care for his little reckless probie. If this amazing man hadn’t seen just how desperate Buck was for someone to share the load, Buck wouldn’t have met his future husband, and now Bobby had accepted and put in his trust that Eddie would care every day for that same reckless little probie.
And he sees it in the eyes of Eddie and all of those who came to witness their joy as Bobby surprised the crowd with his spot beside Buck as they walked towards the future at the end of the aisle.
Eddie, with tears in his eyes, their son beaming with joy that his fathers were finally doing this, his sister with her hand pressed against her lips to hold in a sob, Hen and Chim grinning at each other from where they were evenly split on either side of the groo. Athenana clutching at the hands of Eddie’s Abuela.
They all knew.
Bobby Nash was the true father of Evan Buckley-Diaz, and no one else deserved the honour of giving him away.
And hours later, slow dancing in the arms of his new husband, Buck found himself not caring that he had only just noticed the two empty seats on his side.
Because Bobby was there.
The only father he ever needed.
Buck wasn’t going to let that go.
Bobby wouldn’t let Buck slip through his fingers again.
The gleam from his wedding ring was the only evidence Buck needed to know that.
And a knowing wink from the other man himself.
Today was perfect.