Anne leaned her forehead against the window, looking out at the city. The sky was clear, but a strong wind was blowing in front of her. The phone in her hand showed the latest announcement:
Marcy: “Can you come over? I want to talk to you.”
He didn’t need another word. Whenever Marcy called, Anne left. It didn’t matter what time it was, why, or how strong my feelings were. Even if it meant doing something Marcy would never see.
When he reached Marcy, he fell silent. The lights in her room were on, casting shadows across the curtains. Anne took a deep breath before knocking on the window.
“Anne?” Marcy opened the window and smiled, but there was something different about that smile. It’s unclear, sorry.
Anne came in, closing the window behind her. “Is that okay too? Like… I don’t know, it’s different in the message.”
Marcy sat on the edge of the bed in shock. “I needed you here. Sometimes you’re the only one who knows how to balance yourself.”
Those words should have warmed Anne, but they made her feel lost. It had always been that way. Marcy called her, hugged her, but not the way Anne wanted.
“You know you can always trust me,” Anne said. Anne sat down next to him.
“I know.” Marcy sighed, looking down. “It’s… trying to figure out who I am, you know? The more I think about it, the more I realize I don’t want to lose you in all this.” Her heartbreak. “You’ll never be lost, Marcy.”
Marcy looked up at him, her eyes shining in the lamplight. “Do you swear?”
Anne wants to say yes. I want to promise that I’ll always be there, but I’ll never leave Marcy. But that wouldn’t be entirely true. Because Anne felt even more incapable of being her friend. Not when everyone inside was making so much noise.
“I swear,” Anne replied, even though it hurt.
Marcy smiled, but there was something in her eyes, something that seemed to want to say more. “Sometimes I get confused. I think I expect more from you, Anne.”
“You can’t expect more,” Anne said. “You deserve everything.”
Marcy laughed softly and shook her head. “Sometimes I feel like I’m in love because I always want to be together.”
“You’ll never love yourself,” Anne said. The kind of silence that said it all without using words. The kind of silence that carried the feelings of fear they were both afraid to speak out loud.
Marcy finally called it a day. “Do you think we’re going to stay like this forever? I mean, friends.”
Anne felt the ground beneath her disappear. It was a simple conversation, but there was more to it than Marcy saw and Anne couldn’t explain it. “What if I don’t know what I want?”
Anne felt her heart beat faster. Soon, almost everything. She was about to let go of what she had been holding on to for so long. Instead, she smiled and it was soft and sad.
“Then I’ll wait,” Anne said.
That night, as silence filled the room, Anne realized that what they shared was something sad, indeed.
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