Secrets of the heart
Chapter 6:
It had been a few weeks since Mordred had arrived in Camelot. For the most part, his experience had been enjoyable. He could once again train with all of his brothers.
Gawain, Agravaine and Gareth had taken it upon themselves to train their youngest brothers in basic combat. However, they were also able to ask other nights if they could teach them some specialized methods of fighting. Mordred found this especially beneficial, as he had had to practically teach himself his own style, derived from the basic training his father had given him. Many of the nights had been surprised with his preference towards more agile techniques, as the rest of his brothers relied more on bruit strength.
He had also spent a considerable amount of time with Nimue.
Over the past few weeks, they had seen each other everyday. During this time, Mordred had learnt more about her. She was the daughter of Vivien, the lady of the lake, as well as one of Guinevere's handmaidens. This greatly interested Mordred. While he was not entirely sure sure of Lady Vivien's age, he knew that she had been the fostermother of Sir Lancelot, who was two years older than Arthur. Nimue, on the other hand, was a year younger than himself.
Most of his confusion was cleared when Nimue explained that her mother had been in her early days of womanhood when she had fostered the infant Lancelot. Whereas she was born during the last years of her mother's fertile years. While this cleared most of his confusion, it also surprised him, as it was rare of woman to survive a birth so late into their life, and still produce a healthy offspring.
Something which was more disconcerting about Nimue, was that she was the apprentice of Merlin. Mordred had yet to see the old sorcerer, whom his mother hated so much. Nimue explained that he was off on one of his adventures. Apparently, Merlin was known to frequently disappear for weeks on end, in search of new knowledge and magical creatures. While Mordred was relieved to not have met him yet, he also wish that the sorcerer would just return and get the initial meeting over with. He hated the feeling of not knowing where Merlin was or when he would return, as he was afraid that Merlin would declare he was preforming illegal magic and have him executed, or worse. However, he was also not looking forward to having to constantly be on his guard. Therefore, his feelings were rather ambivalent as to weather or not he wanted Merlin to return.
Nimue was not the only topic of discovery in Camelot. Mordred had suspected it from the first moment he had entered Camelot. He had managed to fool himself into believing that it was his mind playing tricks on him. However, as time went on, it became ever more obvious. He was honestly surprised no one else had noticed it.
Hence, why after approximately four weeks of being in Camelot, Mordred gathered his brothers into his chambers, where they were insured privacy, and broached the topic with them.
As he sat in a chair, facing his brothers, he fidgeting nervously and cleared his throat.
"I am afraid that there may be a problem in Camelot. I... I am not sure if anyone else has noticed this but... I suspect that... There is an affair occurring between Sir Lancelot and Queen Guinevere." He said, blurting out the last few words.
Gaheris seemed to be the only person who appeared shock. The rest of his brothers, Agravaine especially, seemed quite uncomfortable. Finally, Gawain cleared his throat.
"Yes, well... They are not exactly being that subtle about it."
Mordred blinked.
"So you are aware of the affair?" He asked in disbelief.
"Well," Gareth said, fidgeting. "Technically, everyone is aware of it... Except for Arthur."
Both Mordred's and Gahers's jaws dropped.
"What do you mean?" Asked Mordred.
"And why has no one thought to inform Arthur of this?" Gaheris continued. "After all, wouldn't this affair count as as adultery and treason?"
Again, the three older brothers glanced at each other uncomfortably.
"There are a few things that the two of you must understand." Gawain began. "Arthur, adores Guinevere. He would do anything for her."
"And Lancelot is Arthur's closest friend." Gareth continued. "If Arthur were to learn that the two people he loves most in the world are having an affair behind his back... The results would be catastrophic. Arthur would be crushed."
"Hence, everyone in Camelot has agreed to keep this a secret from Arthur." Agravaine finished.
Mordred starred at his second brother.
"You seem to not like this agreement Agravaine."
Agravaine pursed his lips.
"As Gaheris said, this affair is both adultery and treason. Both are horrific crimes on their own. To commit both of them is absolutely despicable. If it were up to me, they would have faced trial long ago."
He shook his head and sighed.
"However, Gareth is also correct in saying that Arthur would suffer greatly if he were to learn of their crimes. Therefore, it is in britain's best interest if this affair remains secret."
Mordred pursed his lips.
This was not right. Lancelot and Guinevere should not be getting away with this two of the worst crimes imaginable. They should be properly punished for such an acts.
However, it was also true that Britain needed it's king. If Arthur were to learn that his beloved wife was having an affair with his closest friend behind his back, then he may not be able to muster the emotional strength needed to rule and defend his land.
Inside of him, Mordred's morals warred with his sense of duty towards Britain.
He glanced toward Gaheris. The two of them seemingly communicated purely through the use of facial expressions. Finally, they both came to an agreement that neither of them liked.
"Fine." Gaheris began, sighing.
"We'll keep the secret." Mordred finished.
All three elder brothers took on an expression of relief.
"Thank you." Gareth sighed.
"You will see that this is for the best." Said Gawain, surprisingly gentle. "Despite his s floors, Lancelot is a great knight, and has none much for the benefit of Britain."
Mordred nodded, seemingly agreeing with his brother. Internally however, he was still warring with his emotions. He hoped that he had made the right decision.
Mordred was walking through the halls of Camelot, when he spotted Arthur talking to a hooded figure.
It had now been three months since Mordred had first arrived in Camelot. Prior to these months, Arthur had always looked at him with suspicious eyes. Mordred had always assumed it was due to how close he seemed to be to his mother. While Arthur did not out right hate his half-sister, he was still suspicious of her, due to her reputation with less than acceptable magical practices.
However, as the months went on and Arthur observed Mordred more and more, he seemed to become more trusting of his youngest nephew. Instead of greeting him with suspicious glances, Arthur greeted him kindly, as he did the other sons and Lot and Morgana.
Mordred did not wish to interrupt the high King's conversation. Hence, he attempted to quickly and silently walk away. However, Arthur had spotted him out of the corner of his eye. He turned to Mordred, a smile on his face.
"Mordred, how are you this fine morning?" He greeted warmly.
"I am fine Sir." Mordred replied respectfully. "How do you fare?"
"I am well." The king replied.
He turned to his companion.
"Ahh, I do not believe the two of you have met. Mordred, this is more friend and greatest adviser, Merlin Emrys. Merlin, this is my youngest nephew and newest trainy, Mordred of Orkney."
The figure turned to face Mordred. Under his cloak was an old face with long white hair and a beard to match. His eyes met Mordred and a jolt went up the younger's spine. For a long time, they just starred at each other, unblinking. Finally, Mordred broke the standstill.
"It is a... A pleasure to meat you... My lord.." He said. "My apologies for interrupt your conversation. I am afraid I must cut this meeting short, as I was planning to meat with my brothers in the training yard."
And with that, he fled the scene.
Once he was a few corridors away, he finally exhaled the breath he did not know he had been holding.
So, this was the famous, and infamous, Merlin Emrys. The sorcerer whom Arthur trusted to insure the land remained safe from dark sorcerers, by dictating what kind of magic was practiced.
The sorcerer who had assisted Uther in tricking his way into his Grandmother's bed.
The sorcerer whom his mother hated more than any other.
Despite all of this, Mordred found that none of these were the reason why he felt uncomfortable in Merlin's presence. No, there was something... Dark in that glance. While Arthur's expression had been a combination of many different emotions, none of them had been the pure, unbridled hatred that existed in Merlin's eyes. Mordred had no clue as to why the court Sorcerer hated him so. He had given Merlin no reason to. Perhaps it was because of who his mother was. After all, from what he had heard Merlin hated his mother just as much as she hated the sorcerer.
Mordred shook his head. It was best not to dwell on it.
He was sitting in a deserted courtyard with Nimue. They were both practicing magic together.
Mordred was at first hesitant to show Nimue that he could use magic. His brothers' warning still range in his mind. However, he quickly came to trust her. So, he had revealed his hidden talent to her. To his great relief, she merely smiled and said:
"Well, it took you long enough to tell me."
It turned out she could sense his magic the first time they had touched, and she was only waiting for him to become comfortable enough to tell her.
Since that day, they had met in secret almost every night to practice magic together. Much to Mordred's surprise, Nimue was interested in all branches of magic. Mordred had assumed that she would be more inclined to the magic that her teacher, Merlin, approved of. But instead, her curiosity led to her seeking other forms of magic.
She explained that the majority of magic that Merlin allowed her and other sorcerers under him to learn mostly healing and defensive magics. However, Nimue wished to learn more.
Hence, they would meet in private with magic books that Mordred's mother had given him. He kept all of his magical artifacts and books hidden by use of a cloaking spell, and securely at the bottom of his trunk.
It had now been a full year since they had first met, and they were almost through all of the books, finding what interested them and what did not. Some of the spells were to dark, even for Nimue's curious mind. Others were to dangerous to practice, as they would risk discovery by practicing them.
They now lay in the grass, side by side and looking at each other.
"My brothers and I shall be leaving upon the morrow." Mordred said quietly. "We will be returning to Orkney to visit our father and mother."
Nimue smiled at him. He had already explained that the annual journey to Orkney was approaching. But he still liked to repeat it. So much had changed since he had left. He had learnt so much, both in combat and in magic.
He had also grown closer to Nimue. The bond they shared, it was more than mere friendship. He did not know what to call it. All he knew was that he would gladly die for her, just as much as he would die for any of his brothers.
Nimue gently touched his cheek.
"Be careful." She said.
He grinned.
"Am I not always careful."
She nudged his shoulder.
"You know what I mean. I am aware that I have never met your mother, but something in me is saying that her head is full of wrackspurts."
Mordred chuckled. They had invented a sort of secret code, between themselves.
"Yes, just as many as Merlin. So I hope you be careful."
Nimue nudged his shoulder again.
"Just remember, when you return, I expect the nargles will have a surprise for you in our usual place."
Mordred grinned.
"The nargles might want to find a knew hiding spot. Someone might discover them."
"Lets hope not."
They both chuckled and lapsed into silence.
"Mordred?" Nimue finally said.
"Hmmm?" Mordred replied.
"May I give you something... A parting gift?"
He opened his eyes.
"Yes, what is..."
Mordred was cut off when Nimue pressed her lips against his.
For a few seconds, he just lay there in shock. Finally, he reacted. He placed a hand behind her head and depend the kiss. It seemed to last for both a few seconds and an eternity. Finally, they parted for air. Their breaths were heavy.
"That was..." Mordred began.
"Incredible." Nimue finished.
Mordred nodded, smiling.
"So... Can we do that again?"
As Mordred and his brothers rode up to the familiar gate, he could not stop the bubbling excitement. As much as he had come to love Camelot, there was still no place like home.
He took a deep breath, smelling the familiar Orkney air. He could hear the sounds and warriors, blacksmiths and the general chatter. He could see the fields and forests of his childhood.
Once they entered the gates, he could see his father and mother, awaiting their return. For once, Arthur and his usual entourage had not accompanied them, so it was only the five brothers.
As soon as they were within a few feet of their parents, his mother went straight to him.
As Mordred dismounted his horse, she wrapped her arms around him. As she embraced him tightly, he realised he was now the same high as her.
"Guileless son." She said, smiling. "You have grown so much since last we met."
Mordred smiled.
"It is good too see you again mother."
As his mother released him from the embrace, his father cleared his throat.
"Well, I hope you have been using your time in Camelot wisely." He said in way of greeting. "Tell me, have you actually learnt to fight, or do you insist upon dance during combat situations."
Mordred chuckled.
"Oh, do not be so stubborn father. Everyone has their own way of fighting. Some are just more... Graceful than others."
The whole family chuckled.
Later that night at dinner, the brothers were tell their parents of their year in Camelot. Their mother had seemed to become anger when Mordred told her of his first meeting with Merlin, so he quickly told her of how he was being careful around the sorcerer and changed the subject.
Mordred and Gaheris had just finished explaining their combat training.
"Well," Began their father. "It appears the two of you have had an eventful year."
"And we have not even gotten to Mordred's lover yet." Gawain spoke up, a little to loudly, in Mordred's opinion.
Said brother's face become quite warm, all of a sudden.
"I... I do not know what you speak of Gawain." He stuttered.
"Oh, don't you?" Gawain asked, his eyebrow raised.
Mordred looked to his other brothers for support. He found none.
"Yes, I have noticed you have grown close to a certain girl." Gareth continued.
"What was her name again?" Gaheris said, tapping a finger against his chin.
"I believe her name is Nimue." Agravaine finished.
Mordred's face was now flaming.
"Oh," His father said. "And who his this Nimue?" He asked of Mordred.
"She is the daughter of Vivien, the Lady of the Lake. She is also one of Queen Guinevere's handmaidens and... Ummm... Merlin's apprentice."
There was a loud clatter. They all turned to see that his mother had dropped her wine goblet. The look she sent Mordred was one he had never received from her. Pure fury.
"I thought I told you to stay away from that thrice cursed sorcerer." She practically growled.
Mordred flinched, but was quick to come to Nimue's defense.
"Mother, Nimue is not Merlin. While she is learning under him, she is not blindly loyal to him. I trust her, even if you do not." He said, clearly.
Thankfully, his brothers banded with him.
"We have all seen Nimue." Gaheris continued. "And we have also seen how she interacts with Mordred. We believe that she is trustworthy."
His other three brothers nodded in agreement.
Finally, his mother's glair moved away from him, to be instead aimed at her plate where a trickle of wine had leaked onto it. Thankfully, the majority of her spilled drink had gone onto the table.
"Well," Began his father after a long pause. "I suppose, if all of you believe she is trustworthy, that this may continue. However, Mordred, do remember not to become to... Intimate... With her."
Mordred's face became warm again, much to his brothers' amusement.
"Yes, father." He mumbled in embarrassment.
His brothers laughed joyfully. Eventually, Mordred joined in. There was truly no place like home.