One-Shots

"Y/N…" your brothers voice was tired, but you knew he was more worried about you than anything. "Are you still there?"

"I'm here. I'll be on the first flight out we can figure out details when I get home." Your voice broke and a few years rolled down your cheeks.

"Take your time, please don't drive to the airport crying I can't...please be safe."

With promises and I love yous the call ended and you sat in the dark waiting for the grief to overtake you and when it didn’t you opened your laptop and started searching for the next flight to Boston.

>I land at 4am so I’ll just get an Uber to the house

You were seated on a plane within three hours of the phone call. The woman who checked your bag asked if you were flying for business or for fun, the face she pulled when you told her it was for your father’s funeral would have been comical if you weren’t so upset. Getting to the gate you found they had bumped you to first class. When your brother didn’t respond to the text you assumed he was already asleep, it was late and it had been a long day. 

Baggage claim was chaos and even though you shouldn’t have been, you were surprised with how many people were flying at 4am on a Tuesday.You wondered how many taxis would be parked outside and figured you’d just grab one.

“Y/N!” There was a small group of people whispering as Chris called out to you, his baseball cap and oversized sweatshirt so specifically him. “Here, let me get those.”

Wrapping an arm around you in a hug Chris took your luggage and led you out of the terminal quickly. “What are you doing here?”

“Picking you up, Josh said you were flying in but he...well he’s not in the best state right now so I offered to come get you.” Chris shrugged as if it was no big deal. “Sorry I had to yell across the lobby to you, I don’t have your number anymore.”

“I changed it.”

One eyebrow rose as Chris led you towards the parking lot which was almost empty. “Why’s that?”

Long story you wanted to say, but you’d known Chris a long time. “It’s embarrassing. I dated a guy for a bit in DC and he got kind of stalker-y, decided it wasn’t worth it and broke up with him but he kept calling so I changed my number.”

“Maybe you should leave DC then.” 

His tone was clipped. “I was always more of a Marvel girl anyway.” 

“Clever,” Chris’ car was as immaculate as you thought it would be and you took a moment to check it out as he opened the door for you. “You haven’t changed much.” 

“I’d like to think that I have, if only a little bit.” 

Chris turned on the seat warmer for you. “Go ahead and lie back, it’s been a long day for you.”

The next thing you knew Chris was shaking you gently. “Are we here already?”

“Yeah, I took your bag inside.” He helped you sit up and get out of the car. “Careful, the ice is starting.” 

“Thank you for coming to get me. You really didn’t have to do that.”

Chris smiled, it was the same smile you’d always blushed at and thankfully the cold air made your cheeks rosy now. “I know, but I didn’t want you in a cab coming home to this. Thought a friendly face might be better.”

“Why don’t you stay here tonight? It’s way too late to go home and like you said, the ice is starting.” Hands shoved in his pockets Chris looked like he wanted a reason to say no. “I’m not letting you drive home at 4:30am Christopher go lie down.”

“I, uh, usually stay in your old room.” 

Thoughts of everything he could have found in there ran through your mind. Old diaries, embarrassing polaroids….Chris could have gone through all of your belongings and you would have never known. “That’s fine, I’ll fit better on the couch anyway.”

“Are you sure? Because I can-”

“Go to sleep.” Not wanting to argue with you, Chris said goodnight and jogged upstairs quietly leaving you to curl up on the couch and fall into a fitful sleep.

The next few days were full of tears and laughter. Going through old photographs you and your brother reminisced about holidays and vacations with your dad as well as regular moments you cherished. 

Neighbors and friends dropped by to check on the both of you and make sure you had food, the freezer was filled with meals that had been dropped off and you were sure it would never all be eaten. 

“I invited Chris over, figured he could use the company too.” It was crazy to see how Chris was still the same guy you knew growing up, he hadn’t changed a bit. The thought made you smile catching your brothers attention. “You still have a crush on him, don’t you?”

“What?” Thinking quickly you held up a picture that was in a pile in front of you. “No, I was just thinking about this day.” 

Chris happened to be in the picture, you were all teenagers at the beach and the boys were buried in the sand. “That was a good day.” 

“Mom was so mad at us for bringing all that sand home.” Setting the picture down you realized something. “Wait, why could he use the company?”

“He got dumped recently, he was pretty upset about it but then this all happened and he hasn’t brought it up, figured he stopped talking about it to help us but I don’t want him to think it’s being pushed aside.” Josh shrugged as if it was no big deal.

A knock ended the moment and Chris walked in smiling. “Hey, look at all those pictures.” Standing over the table he scanned some of them. “These are all great. You gonna put them up on a board or something?”

“No, we’re just looking through them.” Sitting on the couch with you Chris took the stack from your hand and laughed at his own memories of the trip. “I forgot how big we made your sand-rack Josh.” 

Rolling his eyes your brother stood and saw how close you and Chris were on the couch looking at pictures. “Whatever, you two take some time to catch up you’re annoying me already.”

You laughed looking through the piles of photographs telling Chris the stories behind each one. Family vacations, holidays, random days. Then you got to the pile from school. After your mom died, your dad had started photographing everything you and Josh did. Even insignificant things like sitting on the couch watching tv or washing dishes were represented and you took your time going through them. 

“Are those our prom pictures?” Leaning across you, Chris plucked a photo from the table. “God we look so douchey.”

“Well you were in a white tux.” 

Flipping through you found your own pictures. “Glitter everywhere.” 

“That’s right, you went to our prom too.” You’d been invited and Josh had tried to talk you out of it, there wasn’t a reason for a sophomore to be at senior prom, but you went anyway. “I remember driving you home.” 

“Yeah, and your date was pissed.” Josh popped back into the room. “Food’s ready if you guys are hungry.”

“So are you staying?” One of your best friends, Janet, had called to ask how you were and invited you out for drinks. “Or are you going back to DC when this is over?”

It was a question you’d been asking yourself. “Josh offered to let me stay there until I found a place if I decided to come back, but….I’m not sure, it’s all really confusing right now.”

“What’s confusing about it? You’ve told me so many times you miss Boston and that DC doesn’t feel like home.” You had told her that, pretty often too. “If it doesn’t feel right and you can transfer up here then why not?” 

“There’s just...I don’t know how to explain it.” 

Nodding like she understood, your friend caught a look at something over your shoulder. “Isn’t that your brothers friend? The cute one you were like full on in love with?”

Sure enough Chris was walking across the bar towards a table of people you didn’t recognize. “Chris, yeah.” 

“This the first you’ve seen him since getting back?”

Grabbing the empty glasses you stood. “No, he’s been helping out. Josh needed the support.” 

“I wouldn’t mind giving him something to support…” 

You walked away from the table shaking your head, you knew she was kidding but something about it rubbed you the wrong way. “Two more please.”

“Those are on me.” A wall of flannel appeared next to you and the unmistakable smell of Chris invaded your senses. “Didn’t realize you were here.”

The small bar was well known to locals and you preferred it over venturing into the city. “Just because I’ve been gone for awhile doesn’t mean I don’t remember my favorite places.”

“Lots of good times here.” Chris looked out at the tables. “Remember on your birthday when Josh and I took you here and bought your first legal beer?”

“And then you swung me around the dancefloor to ‘Mama Mia’ of all things.” It was also the night you’d drunkenly kissed him when you got back to the house, but neither of you mentioned it. 

As much as you wanted to bring it up you couldn’t find a way to without making everything awkward.

“I’d better get back.” The beers were placed in front of you just as Chris’ friends were calling for him. “Looks like you have a lady waiting for you too.”

The redhead was openly staring at him and you couldn’t help the hurt that punched you in the gut.

Janet leaned forward immediately. “What was that?” 

“What was what?” Her eyebrow raised and you could her voice in your head saying You know exactly what! “He came over to say hi, bought the beers too.”

“And the flirtatious way he was leaning towards you? It looked like he wanted to hoist you over one of his massive shoulders and carry you off to some privacy.” Sighing you let her go. “You’re in denial if you think that hunk of a man doesn’t want you.”

You were in denial, because he didn’t and you couldn’t bare to be be faced with rejection again. “There’s no way. He’s Josh’s best friend, we grew up together.”

“Step-siblings do it all the time.”

“They do not!” She shrugged. “Either way, there’s no way Chris wants to be with me he’s just being friendly.”

The beer glass was frosty and you found yourself doodling to keep from yelling it all out. Janet wasn’t buying it. “Are you just saying that because you want it to be true or do you actually feel that way?”

“I’m saying it because you know he’s one of the reasons I left and if I think there’s a chance I’d move back up here as soon as I could.” It had been difficult enough seeing Chris as often as you had recently and with how close he was you felt torn. “I can’t really deal with these emotions right now so can we talk about literally anything else?”

“Who was that?” Chris sat with his beer. “And why didn’t you invite her over?”

“That’s Josh’s sister, Y/N.”

The guys at the table were all taking turns looking over to where you were in an intense discussion at your own table. “There’s no way, Josh can’t be related to someone who looks like that.”

“Excuse me, but you’re related to me so it’s possible.” The redhead scoffed as she took a sip of her drink.

“Jenny’s right dude, brothers can be ugly as hell.” 

Chris changed the subject hoping to avoid answering any other questions and to make the nagging jealousy he was feeling go away. You looked sad, not like you didn’t have a reason to be, but he wanted to see you smile again.

“Dude,” Chris turned when someone nudged his elbow. “You’re staring.”

Sighing, he tried to push you out of his mind. “Yeah, it’s a problem.”

Josh was already asleep by the time you got back which meant you didn’t have to explain the hurt expression on your face.

>You looked nice tonight

The notification from your phone faded as the screen turned back off. Drumming your finger tips against the case you debated on whether to respond or not. But, you couldn’t ignore him no matter how hard you tried. 

>Thanks. Have fun with your friends?
>They’re Josh’s friends too
>Even if they didn’t recognize you at first
>Well that’s rude
>I know, right!
>Are you drunk Chris? Why are you still up?
>I’m just leaving the bar, only had the one beer. And I wanted to make sure you got home safely
>I did. Not very tired though.
>Wanna go for a drive? Clear your head a little bit?

You’d given Chris your new number so he could check in on you and Josh. Maybe you’d been hoping for something like this, but now that it was happening you froze. 

>Aren’t you tired?
>Not in the slightest
>Alright.
>Be there soon

What were you doing? The last time you were truly alone with Chris was when he picked you up from the airport and you were asleep, the time before that was right before you left for DC. Josh was right, you still had feelings for Chris but you’d never spoken to him about it. The drunken kiss on your birthday was the only time you’d ever shown him and now you were nervous you’d mess it up again.

>I’m here

Grabbing your stuff you left the house again finding Chris waiting for you by the car. “I turned the seat warmer on for you.”

The music was low but besides the radio it was quiet. You picked at your fingernails trying not to look too nervous. 

“Anywhere you wanted to go?” He asked after a few minutes of driving.

“I’m fine with wherever.” 

Chris looked between you and the road. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

You hadn’t noticed the quivering in your chin or the heavy breathing. “Nothing, I’m just…”

“Y/N.”

“I’m fine Chris I just need to stop thinking.” Talking was making it worse, him grabbing onto your hand even more so.” Pull over.”

“We’re in the middle of nowhere Y/N, I’m not letting you out on the street.”

“Pull over. Just pull over, please. Please pull over.” The moment the car was in park you were stepping out and trying to breathe. “I can’t do this.” 

Chris was beside you in a flash his hands on your back and arm trying to calm you down. “Y/N what’s wrong?”

“Everything! Everything is wrong!” Tears were streaming down your face now. “I can’t….I can’t deal with all of this it’s too much. My dad is dead and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I want to come back or stay in DC and I don’t know what I would do if I did come back and I don’t know how to live without both of my parents.”

He wiped at the tears. 

Chris whispered something you couldn’t make out. “There’s so much running through my mind and I don’t know how to deal with it.”

“Let me help you.”

He tried to pull you towards him, a hug was supposed to be comforting. “You’re part of my problem!” 

“What?” You may as well have slapped him. 

“You. You and your stupid way of always making me feel happy and always standing so close and making me feel safe and I can’t do it Chris!” The box was opened now, you may as well just let it all out. “I left Boston because I could feel myself falling for you more every time I saw you and I knew you didn’t feel the same way so I ran and hid four-hundred miles away!” 

He stared at you for a minute. “What made you think I didn’t feel the same way as you?”

“Because when I kissed you the only response I got was you pushing me away!”

“You were drunk! We both were and I wasn’t going to take advantage of that!” His eyes were wide and bright. “I tried to talk to you about it but when I finally got you alone you told me that you were leaving for DC that night and I couldn’t tell you and make you feel like you had to stay.”

Chris wanted to be with you. He was going to talk to you about it, there wasn’t a rejection at all. Not from him anyway. “You could have called, texted, anything.”

“And say what? ‘Hey Y/N, I know you just left but I just wanted to tell you that I think I love you. Have fun in DC!’ that never would have worked and you know it.” Chris’s chest was heaving. “You’ve been home for three days and I still feel the same way about you as I did then, I’ve been trying to figure out a way to tell you but I didn’t want to keep you here again.”

Both of you were quiet for a moment before Chris bent and kissed you, his hand cupping your cheek and side. When he pulled away you felt cold, like he had been keeping you warm. “Let’s get out of the snow.”

Small flakes danced around the both of you. “Take me to your apartment?”

“Y/N….I don’t want to make you feel like you have-”

“You’re not, I’m asking. You can say no but I don’t want to go home tonight.” He nodded leading you back to the car making sure not to slip on any ice. Once you were in the car and driving one weight lifted and another landed on your chest.

Chris’ apartment was closer to the city, you could see the lights glimmering through the snow. “It’s not much.”

So much of the space yelled “Chris” to you. Pictures of his family covered the walls but the one that grabbed your attention was a picture of the two of you on his mantle. “I’ve never seen this one.”

It was definitely one of your dad’s photographs, those were your stairs. “It’s my favorite one of us at prom that year.”

“You were telling me how beautiful I looked.” A blush was dusting across your cheeks and Chris was staring at you with an adoring smile. “You were the only one besides dad.”

“A lot more people said it.” Your back met his warm chest as Chris pulled you to him. “Just not to your face. Remember that fight I got in?”

Someone had thrown a punch and Chris ended up with a bruise on his cheek, you remembered that much. “Please tell me that wasn’t over me.”

“Greg Tully was saying some things about what he wanted to do to you. So I told him I would kick his ass if he tried, he didn’t like that.” 

The bruise hadn’t formed until the following day, but when you found Chris that night his cheek was bright red. “I wondered why he switched to a different lab partner.” 

“Yeah well, it was worth it.”

You wandered slowly through the apartment, stopping to look at different things he had lying around or had decorated with. Eventually you got to his bedroom and took a minute in the doorway to take it in.

The bed was made sloppily, clothes littered the floor in front of his closet. “I wasn’t expecting anyone to come over, sorry.”

“You don’t live in a pigsty Chris, it’s actually much cleaner than I thought it would be.” 

“I try to keep it clean, at the end of the day though it just feels good to throw your clothes on the ground and crawl into bed.” You knew the feeling, especially after having a few drinks.

You never thought you would end up in Chris’ bedroom, let alone be in a situation where you could sleep with him, and the thought scared you. “Do you have something I could wear to sleep? I didn’t exactly pack a bag.”

“Yeah! Yeah, how about a t-shirt? You want shorts or something?” Shaking your head no Chris opened the dressed and pulled out a shirt for you. “Are you ok?”

Everything was still so confusing and all the other emotions you had made this so much worse. “I don’t want to rush this. It’s been years and I just think if we jump into it we’re going to decide that actually you don’t want me and I can’t handle thinking that right now.”

“Let’s just sleep, then. We don’t have to do anything, I’ll even put a pillow between us if that would help.” Chris had always put others before himself. “C’mon, you can use my toothbrush.”

He was the perfect gentleman, leaving the room to let you change and making sure he kept a respectful distance once you were both in bed. You closed your eyes and breathed in the scent of his pillow, “Chris.”

“Yeah?”

The tremor in your voice was back. “Tell me everything is going to be ok?”

Tears slipped from your still closed eyes and you blinked to get rid of them, but when you did you saw Chris with his own tears. “I wish I could. I know that it’s going to hurt for a long time and you’re going to feel lost but Y/N you’re so strong and I know you’ll be able to get through this.”

Distance be damned, both of you moved to the middle of the bed where Chris held you in his arms trying his best to help. Your sobs were anguished and by the end you were near hyperventilating, still Chris was there rubbing your back. 

“How am I supposed to get through tomorrow?”

“You’ll have Josh and I’ll be there the entire time.” You could feel the soft kisses he was leaving on the top of your head, in any other circumstances it would have been romantic.  “Let me help you.”

Sleep finally took you with tear marks all down your cheeks and red coming up your neck. You weren’t the prettiest crier, but Chris didn’t mind. He’d seen you cry before.

“I don’t know Josh! He just left me here.” Your brother had already made plans to go to a party after prom and since he hadn’t even wanted you to come in the first place this was throwing a wrench into those plans. “Whatever I’ll call dad, just go.”

“Y/N-”

A single tear slipped down your cheek and you wiped it away quickly. “It’s fine. Just go have fun with Meredith.” 

Chris watched as Josh left you in front of the hotel and more tears came. “Are we going or what?” 

“I changed my mind, I don’t really feel like it tonight.” 

The shrill voice of his date made Chris affirm that this was the right choice and as she jumped into her friend's car and drove off he felt relieved. “Y/N?” 

“Hey,” wiping your face quickly you put on a smile, the red of your neck giving your emotions away. “I thought you left already.” 

“Nah, I wasn’t super into the idea of getting trashed tonight so I bailed.” You weren’t looking at him, the hurt you felt was more than evident. “Where’s whatshisname?” 

A short laugh took Chris by surprise. “Brian left with someone else, and since Josh was hellbent on going to the party I have to get a ride home.” 

“C’mon, I’ll drive you.”

“You don’t have to do that, really. I’m just gonna call my dad.”

Chris put his hand in the center of your back and led the way towards his car. “I insist. I’m definitely not letting you stand out here waiting for your dad upset.”

Getting into the car Chris asked what happened that Brian would abandon you. “Because I didn’t want to sleep with him. Cliche, right? I shouldn’t be that upset about it, I only agreed to go to prom with him so I could be here. I wasn’t even interested in him.” 

Your chest and neck had gotten blotchy and red from being upset but Chris still told you that you were the most beautiful girl at the prom. Driving around until you weren’t upset anymore Chris walked you to the door making sure you got inside safely and kissing your cheek lightly. 

Your breathing finally evened out and Chris was able to relax. Worried was an understatement, he was terrified at what would happen if you went back to DC grieving all alone. 

Waking the next morning you found yourself sprawled across the bed, it was early but you’d have to leave soon to prepare for the funeral. The thought alone made your stomach give an anxious flip.

“Morning.” Chris was in the kitchen eating a slice of toast. “Didn’t want to wake you, although you did sleep straight through my alarm.”

“Sorry ‘bout that.”

The smile gave you goosebumps. “Don’t be sorry. If I’m being honest I could get used to waking up to you in my arms.”

Chris pulled you towards him, situating you between his legs before kissing you slowly. “I think I could get used to waking up like this.” 

You let him hold you there kissing in a way that said he was willing to take his time with you, but when you tried to speed things up and his hand was tangled in your hair the phone rang. 

“Fuckin’ Josh,” Chris growled, keeping you right there he answered the phone. “Hey man. Yeah, yeah I have her here. No she’s fine, she just needed to clear her head from the bar, dude...it got late so I offered to let her stay at my place I promise nothing happened.” 

Well, you realized that your crush from high school was morphed into what could be love, but other than that, yeah nothing happened.

“We’ll be there in a bit. Bye.” Chris shoved the last bite of toast in his mouth taking the other piece and jamming it at your mouth. “Eat, you won’t eat before this I know you won’t.” 

Chewing you rolled your eyes. “Whatever, how long are you going to take?”

“I just need to shower.” You had started walking towards the bedroom to redress but Chris was behind you whispering in your ear. “You could join me?”

“Maybe another time, it’ll be suspicious if we both show up showered.” With a wink you sauntered off to get dressed.

Josh was waiting in the living room when you got there, Chris in his suit and you in clothes from the night before. “Going to shower I won’t be long!” 

If you ran away before he could see your face Josh wouldn’t be able to tell. Chris, however, wasn’t so lucky. “You gonna tell me what happened?”

“I told you, we were both at the same bar last night. She looked upset and said she needed to clear her head so we drove for awhile and it was late so I said she could stay at my place. Nothing happened.”

“Are you trying to get her to stay?” Chris shrugged. “Listen dude, I know you have a crush on her so just sit down and talk to her like adults about this.”

Chris slumped into a chair. “I don’t have a crush on her, you know perfectly well that I fell for her a long time ago and you were super cool about it but you’re telling me to take it a step further and actually tell your sister that I want to be with her.” 

“Better than both of you sitting around complaining about it for years on end.” Josh turned on the tv as the shower stopped. “Just think about it, we still don’t know what she’s doing yet.”

After the funeral you spent the rest of the day pretending that everything was as normal as it could be. But as much as you tried, you knew it was a lie. 

“I’m going out.” Thick jacket covered your worn in t-shirt, you weren’t dressing up for anyone. “I’ll be back later.” 

“Where are you going?” 

You shrugged, Josh had been extra protective that day, always by your side or watching you from across the room ready to run over and comfort you the moment a tear slipped down your cheek. “Just out, I need to figure some stuff out and want to clear my head.”

“Well, what do you need to think about?”

Chris, whether you should move back to Boston, what would happen if you did, and all the other problems that came with changing your life. “I know that you figured out I had to thing for Chris and...I dunno it just feels like being around him again is making things worse. I need to know that things aren’t going to be fucked up if I come back and I can’t ruin your friendship with him like that.”

“Ok, first of all my friendship with Chris is just fine. I mean, we made it through him telling me he liked you in high school so I think we can get through anything at this point.” You smiled, it was odd hearing that Josh knew. “But second, don’t do anything for him and instead do it for yourself. Are you going to head back to DC and decide that you feel better up here? Or are you going to forget all about it once you’re back?” 

“Honestly, I hate DC. I hate feeling like I’m not home, but I can’t be up here seeing him all the time if he doesn’t feel the same way.” You stood in the doorway fumbling around with the keys. “Think I should call him?”

“I really do.” Giving you a quick hug your brother  pushed you out the door. “Call him and figure this out. I’d love to have you back here but it’s not my decision.”

The bar was pretty busy when you got there, no tables were open so you just perched on a stool at the bar and ordered a beer. You spent the time picking at the napkin and ignoring everyone around you until someone jumped into the seat next to you.

“You’re Chris’ friend, Y/N?” Him knowing your name took you off guard and you nodded. “I was here the other night with him, thought I’d come to introduce myself. I’m Mike.” 

“Nice to meet you.” 

Mike stayed there. “So what’re you doing here alone?”

“Trying to think.” You looked up at him but something caught your eye. “Are you here with Chris?”

“Yeah, well I mean I was but then he got pulled away. Saw you here and thought I’d see if you wanted to keep company together.” He thought he was smooth, you had to laugh at that, but the sight of Chris sitting in a corner booth with another girl made it hard to find anything funny. “He’s been over there for awhile, I’m not sure what’s going on.”

Right then the girl leaned over and kissed Chris, you looked away quickly and decided you couldn’t be there. “Can I cash out?”

“Are you alright? Can I give you a ride or something?” 

Signing the slip you pushed it back across the bar. “Listen, I’m sure you’re great but I’m not really interested.”

The car was old, so when you realized it was taking just a little bit longer to start up than usual you thought there might be some trouble, but the engine turned over just fine and you drove away from the bar as quickly as you could not seeing Chris step outside and watch you go. 

Your phone rang in your pocket but you ignored it, you didn’t want to talk to anyone right now. 

Thoughts ran through your mind of what could have happened. You would have moved back up here and been with Chris not knowing that he was already with someone else the entire time. Maybe she didn’t know either but you weren’t sure how to explain. 

Another vibration told you there was a voicemail but you ignored it too. “Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!” 

The roads were getting slippery with ice and you slowed down but the car jolted and started slowing even more until finally you were stopped along the edge of the road.

“This day can’t get any worse.” 

Pulling the phone from your pocket you saw Chris as your missed call.

“Y/N, Mike said he saw you and that you ran out suddenly. I just wanted to make sure you’re ok, I know today’s been rough and I don’t want you to be driving around if you’re upset or drunk or….I dunno, please call me back?”

You thought about calling him but as you stared at the screen his face appeared again. “Chris.”

“Y/N, oh thank-are you alright? Mike said-” a sob escaped and you started crying. “What’s wrong? Where are you, I’m coming to get you.”

Taking a few deep breaths you tried to stabilize your breathing. “I’m across from Jacob’s Grocery. M-my car died and I didn’t want you to come get me but then you called and I-”

“Calm down Y/N, I’m coming alright? Just stay in the car put your hazards on I’ll be there in a minute.” He was driving now you could hear the sounds of cars passing him. “I’m coming up behind you.”

His car was left running and Chris was jogging to your car as you jumped out and he let you cry on him again. “Th-thank you.”

“Come on, why don’t you sit in my car? I’ll grab your stuff.” Chris grabbed a rag from his trunk and rolled it up into your window, you’d have to call and let the police know your car broke down and probably get a tow. 

Your purse, phone, and hat were all handed to you delicately as Chris got back in the car. He didn’t go anywhere though, opting instead to sit with you and let you relax.

“What happened?”

“I slowed down because of the ice and it just died slowly.”

“Not that, I meant what happened at the bar. Mike told me you just ran out.”

He was looking at you, his body turned to face you as best he could but you just stared at your hands. “I went there to clear my head, your friend came over and started talking to me. I looked up at one point and saw you in the corner with your girlfriend and I thought maybe….I thought that maybe you were friends and just talking or whatever but then you guys kissed and I just needed to get out.”

Chris ran a hand over his buzzed hair, in your mind a way to try and figure out a way to explain what happened.  It had been a week since you got back to Boston and you’d fallen much harder than you anticipated. “Y/N…”

“It’s fine, we’re not dating or anything and all we did was kiss which is still cheating but I guess it doesn’t matter.” There were no tears left, after everything in the past week it just wasn’t possible. “I’m stupid for thinking this would work out.”

Stupid is the word of the day. You thought bitterly as you opened up the car door and stepped out.  “Y/N what are you doing?”

“I’m going to call Josh, I don’t really want to be in a car with you.” 

Dialing before he could argue you walked away from the window. “Hey, what’s up?”

“The car died, can you come get me?”

You could hear Josh getting his shoes on as you told him where you were but he still had to ask. “Chris lives out that way, it’ll be the perfect opportunity for you-”

“It wouldn’t actually.”

“Something happened.”

Chris was still in the car waiting, you knew he wouldn’t leave until he knew you had a way to get home. “Yeah, everything just kind of….stopped.”

“I’m on my way.”

“Thanks Josh.” Once you hung up Chris got out of the car. “He’s coming to get me. Thanks for this, I didn’t know what to do when you called but I just really can’t be around you right now.”

“Why not?” Chris looked hurt, you had done that to him. “Can you at least let me explain?”

There wasn’t much more you wanted from him. “I’d rather not. I just want to be alone right now.”

“Y/N you’ve had a hard day and I don’t want to add to it, please just let me-”

“Please leave.”

Chris sighed obviously defeated. He didn’t want to cross any boundaries or push you in any way and respecting your wishes meant just that, so he took one more look at you before getting in his car and driving away slowly. 

When Josh arrived only a few minutes later he knew something was wrong. “Wanna talk about it?”

“It’s been a really shitty day and all I want is a cigarette so don’t yell at me for it when we get home.”

“I’ll take that as a no,” both of you chuckled a bit. “But if you decide that you want to then you know I’m here to listen.”

Three days later your plane was touching down in DC and you were relieved to finally relax a bit. You went back to work finding a nice card and flowers from your colleagues and got back into a routine. It felt good to be able to feel normal again, but obviously it didn’t reflect on the outside.

“So what’s wrong?” 

Carrie was your cube neighbor and had been watching you stare at your phone before sighing and putting it back down every day since you got back. “Nothing’s wrong.”

“Really? Because I know what happened but I doubt you’d be checking your phone to see if your dad called you.” She had a point, even if she was callously blunt about it. “So who is he?”

“His name is Chris.” You had the same route home on the metro and often sat together when you could. “He’s my brothers best friend, we’ve known each other for a long time. He’s the reason I left Boston and i guess just seeing him again jogged some memories but he’s seeing someone and I’m not going to interfere with that.”

Carrie just nodded. “He tell you that he was in a relationship?”

“No, but I saw him kissing someone.”

“Maybe you should ask him then, get a straight answer.” She was right, of course, but you had been hurt and couldn’t take any explanation the last time you saw him. 

Taking her advice you decided to just deal with it and ask Josh when he called to check in later that night. “So I have kind of an awkward question, it’s about Chris.”

“I really don’t want to get in the middle of this Y/N, he’s crazy about you and you’re crazy about him I don’t know why you guys are fighting this.”

“Because I saw him kissing some other girl that night at the bar, I didn’t realize he was so crazy about me and every other girl in the Boston suburbs.” You should have never asked, it was just going to anger you. 

“He’s not seeing anyone Y/N, remember I told you he was dumped?”

You had been told about that, but in seeing what you did all logic flew out the window. “Oh.” 

“Honestly the two of you need to just figure it out. What are you doing tonight, maybe you can talk to him?”

“I’m enjoying a pizza by myself, and I really think Chris wants nothing to do with me now so just forget it.” A knock sounded at your door. “Speaking of which, my dinner is here. I’ll talk to you later.”

Something in his voice put you on edge. “Alright then, I’m sure I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

Another knock. “I’m coming!” Swinging the door open you started counting money but the man clearing his throat made you stop. “What’re you doing here?”

Standing there, pizza in hand, was the one person you wanted to avoid at all costs and the only person you wanted to see. “I came to apologize and to explain. If you’ll let me.” 

“Did you steal my pizza?”

“I paid for it.” His cheeks were pink from the wind and you could barely contain yourself at his smile. “Honestly, I was waiting for Josh to tell me you were home.”

Moving aside to let him in you mumbled something about killing your brother. “Does your girlfriend know that you’re here?”

“See, this is what I wanted to talk to you about.” A backpack was slung over his shoulder and you took the pizza so he could take his shoes and coat off. “She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Then why were you kissing?”

He’d flown all the way down here for you, the least you could do is offer some of the pizza he paid for. Grabbing plates you watched as he walked slowly across your apartment. “She was kissing me. I’m guessing you left before you saw her slap me too.”

“I guess I did.”

“That was my ex, Lisa. She broke up with me a few weeks ago and I guess she heard that you were back in town and wanted to try and get back together with me since I wasn’t begging forgiveness for whatever imaginary problem I caused. She kissed me and I pushed her away, and when I told her that I didn’t want to be with her because there was someone else she slapped me. That’s when I found Mike and he said that you had been there but ran out.”

You weren’t sure what to say to that, whether there was something to say. Shame came over you as you thought about how you’d acted to Chris not letting him explain and just jumping to conclusions before telling him you didn’t want to see him again. For the second time in your life you’d run away from Chris when things got hard.

“I let you have a few days to cool off but when I went to the house Josh said you left. We argued a bit and he told me I was being an ass by even letting you leave without explaining, I tried to tell him that I wanted to respect your wishes but he thought that was bullshit too.” Josh knew you well, you smiled at that. “I do want to respect your boundaries but I also want to be with you and make this work and I have to explain myself for that.”

The pizza was sitting on the coffee table growing cold and forgotten. “I messed up.”

“No, Y/N you didn’t.” Chris scooted towards you on the couch taking your face in his large warm hands. “You were dealing with a lot of emotions and seeing that probably didn’t help anything, but if we’re going to be together you have to talk to me about this.”

“If?”

Chris smiled as his thumb brushed a stray tear from your cheek. “When.”

The kiss was just like the slow sensual one you’d shared in his apartment. You wanted to stay there with him forever.  But, after a few moments Chris pulled away and stood.

“I have something I want to show you.” Opening his bag Chris pulled out something wrapped in a t-shirt and when he unfolded it you saw it was a picture frame. “This isn’t just a picture I love from prom, it’s one your dad gave me for graduation. There’s a note on the back.”

You took the frame gently and flipped it over to take off the back revealing the white photo paper beneath. 

Chris,

Don’t let anything stop you. You are the epitome of everything great and wonderful, so be careful in handling her heart.

“What-?”

“He’d sat me down after and told me that he knew how I felt about you and he could see it in you too. He’d known for awhile actually but didn’t say anything because he said it wasn’t his place, but your dad could see it and knew that if he didn’t give some sort of push no matter how small it would never happen.”

Your fingers ran over the ink gingerly. “His way of giving his blessing.” Chris nodded. “Why did you wait to show me this?”

“I didn’t think the night before his funeral was the best time to tell you, I wanted to just be there and help you through it and I want to continue being your support.” Setting the picture aside Chris took your hands in his. “We can try the long distance thing or I can move down here I don’t care too much I just want to be where you are. If you’ll have me.”

Chris was all you had ever wanted. He was the one you knew your heart belonged to and had always belonged to. You wanted him to keep it forever. “Of course I will. I’m so sorry for how I acted I just couldn’t handle the idea of putting myself out there and having you push me away again.”

“Never again.” Each word accentuated with a kiss. 

It was easy to sell all your stuff in DC, there was always someone who needed a second-hand couch for less than $100 and it was an easy way to make some money. You’d put in your two weeks, told your landlord that you weren’t resigning the lease, and sold anything you wouldn’t need. 

“You’re really coming back?” Josh sounded like he was smiling. “Well you know you can stay here as long as you want.”

You’d probably be spending more time at Chris’s apartment, but you weren’t going to say that. “Thanks, it’ll be nice to be home.”

Everything you needed to bring was loaded up into the truck you rented and you were gone. Boston had everything you wanted, it was where you needed to be.