Heartbreaks and match-making
If the Grimmauld ball had been the peak of the social season in Godric’s Hollow, the rest of the month was duller for the whole town, but especially in the Evans household.
With October came rainy days and the departure of many neighbours returning to the capital to wait for Winter. Lily, deprived of her daily walks and confined inside because of the weather, was starting to feel restless. Truth be told, she had been on edge ever since that fateful night where all town has gathered in Grimmauld; or, if one wants for precision, ever since that dance. In the cold of the night, curled against Marlene’s sleeping form, she replayed the scene in her mind again and again, trying to fathom why exactly every recollection still sent shivers down her spine. Nothing that happened had been out of the ordinary, after all. Potter had been highly unpleasant, she had been insolent, and Skeeter had interrupted it and topped that with one of her infamous awkward gossips. Yet, she could perfectly recall the intensity with which Potter has looked at her, and the sudden shift in his eyes after Skeeter’s interruption. There had been a flicker of something unpleasant passing on Potter’s usually lively features as they darkened, as if he suddenly had made a decision he feared would lead to dreadful consequences. Lily still had a terrible feeling about all that, and this feeling will soon be confirmed.
For two weeks, there were no news at all from Grimmauld, and the tension that resulted of this neglect was palpable in the Evans house, between Father’s obvious fretting and Marlene’s growing concern, quieter but running much deeper. Then, some rainy morning that saw all Evans siblings in a sour mood from the forced confinement, a letter finally arrived, in Black’s elegant and now familiar cursive, addressed directly to the young woman. She didn’t share the exact content of the missive but it was clear, from the speed with witch all her youthful colours deserted her cheeks, that whatever news the message brought were not good. In her anxious state of concern for her sister’s sake, Lily noted absentmindedly that her usually loud and careless family had the grace not to speak for the whole time Marlene took to finish her reading, even though they were staring and holding their breath, hanging on her lips at the first word uttered.
“He is gone.” This, delivered blankly by a closed-faced Marlene, seemed enough to break the spell that had taken the breakfast room a minute before and everyone suddenly spoke at the same time.
“Gone?” exclaimed Mary, louder than everyone else. “Why would he leave?”
“The real question is: why would he leave without our Marlene?” added Horace, red and confused, failing to notice his lack of delicacy was just pouring salt on his daughter’s very fresh, still-gaping wound. “He wants to marry her!”
Minerva, seated at the other end of the table from her husband but closest to their eldest had noticed Marlene pale even more and was prompt to reprimand him. “Now, now, Mr Evans. We do not know that.”
“Does he explain why?” Remus cut in softly, placing his larger hand on Marlene’s.
She straightened her back and stared at some point on the wall facing her as she replied matter-of-factly. “The town is not to his taste, that is all. The house is too big, expensive and cold for such a small party. His sisters missed London and Potter missed his own home and sister. Black has gone with him to Gryffindor.”
At the mention of her personal Nemesis, Lily felt the now familiar feeling of dread she had come to associate to his person, and sensed the letter was concealing some consequent truths.
“The bastard.” Mr Evans eloquently put in words what the red-haired thought, though she was pretty sure their respective angers weren’t directed towards the same man.
“Father, there’s no need to use such words.” Marlene’s voice was firm as she interrupted and darted blue eyes, cold as ice, towards the man who has just spoken. This, to Lily, spoke more of Marlene’s true feelings than any lies she would afterwards give in order to appease her relatives’concern about her state of mind. Black had all but left her and here she was, taking his side even when he was in the wrong and she was hurt as a result. From the other side of the table where she sat in front of her dearest sister, who she could tell was struggling to manage to put on a brave face, Lily felt for her a strange mixture of respect and pity both. “Mr Black has done nothing wrong. He had nothing retaining him here, after all, and he’s free to go as he pleases in the absence of other engagements.” If Lily had known Marlene any less, she would not have noticed the way her voice choked at the last word or the faint way her blue orbs seemed to shine brighter than usual.
The sound of animated conversation very suddenly rose again, but Marlene was not sitting through that. She rose, tall and straight and regal as a queen, burst, freezing her relatives on the spot: “For the love of God, I don’t want to hear anything about it ever again! For once in your life, just leave me all alone!”
With that, she raced up to the stairs in a graceful way only her could muster at such a time, and the rest of the family ate in silence and avoided the first floor for the rest of the day until she willingly came back to them, for her sake and their own; an angry Marlene was a dangerous one to cross furthermore. Yet Lily was as stubborn as her eldest if not more, and she was well-decided to break the uncomfortable silence as they prepared for bed that night.
“Marlene…”
“Not you too, Lily,” she snapped back, knowing full well what to expect.
“Talk to me,” Lily replied, not one to back down. “You are right to be angry, Marlene.”
“But I spoke true, though.” Marlene’s voice seemed suddenly weary as she landed heavily on the pillows and fixed the ceiling of their room. “He hasn’t done anything wrong. Hasn’t promised any word he didn’t keep, or hasn’t taken anything I didn’t freely give.”
“Marlene…”
“It was my fault, Lily. Mine and only mine. He never spoke of marriage and I never did anything to change that. He flirted and I was happy to flirt back! There was nothing there suggesting some deeper attachment, not from him, not from me. I’ll be all right.”
Lily, who had in boldness what she lacked in patience, decided to take matters in her own hands. She grabbed a pillow from under the blonde’s head and hit her right in the face with it, oddly furious at seeing her strong sister, the role model of her young years, back down without a fight. “He loved you, Marlene, do not doubt that!”
The other girl was quick to react, and the hit she gave back twice as violent as one she had received. “Even if he did, it was a pitiful sort of love if it was not enough to make him stay!” Now Lily could see it plainly, the anger that she probably tried to hide all day long. It was written on her frowned features, the furious glint in her eyes, the way her chest rose and fell with every violent intake of breath. “Don’t you see it’s worst that way? If he loves me as I love him and he still chose to leave?!” The arm that has been holding the offending pillow above their heads, ready to strike again, fell down weakly against her side. “Don’t, Lily. Don’t. You don’t know him. Don’t say a word against him. Don’t you dare speak of love to me. You don’t know anything about love,” she breathed, more calmly but still panting, marking a pause with each word she spat at Lily’s face like venom, eyes sparling with anger and unshed tears.
Before the youngest girl could react, the candles were blown and the room was dark, as Marlene’s words still resonated in the silence. Now, it was far from their first sisterly fight, and Lily had willingly pushed Marlene’s buttons to get her to talk expecting this sort of outcome, but somehow the words, even though very true, stung as no others ever had.
The fuss brought by the arrival of the newcomers in the neighbourhood, a few months earlier, died down as quickly as it has risen. November came, and the whole town of Godric’s Hollow settled down into its usual, apathetic routine but nothing was the same.
Mr Evans saw the recent twists of events as yet another failure to secure husbands for his large herd of daughters, and was getting quite desperate at the prospect of ending his life surrounded by old spinsters in lieu of dreamed grandchildren and outrageously rich sons-in-law. Now, any worthy parent would observe their progeny’s misadventures in matters of the heart with the same loving concern as he; his fault resided in his way of expressing such concern. He set himself on a crusade to have them all married by the end of the next year; and every day brought his new share of lectures about a wife duty, or how their reprehensible behaviours had prevented them from receiving any serious offer or, even worse –and his glare was directly directed at his two eldest girls when he inevitably reached that part- what ungrateful, stupid and selfish shrews they had been for refusing perfectly respectable suitors.
It was on such bases that Marlene, after one week of moping around, was all but sent to London for the winter. Officially, it was so the fuss of town at such a busy season would give her something else to think of than her broken heart. Officiously, they were aware Horace hoped she would not fail to run into Black and awake his feelings again while residing in the Capital; or, at least, to find some other suitable beau under the zealous patronage of his sister, Aunt Trelawney, a young,soft if not slightly crazy widow none of the children were too fond of. Lily thought sending Marlene to live with her for a month was a cruel way to soothe her recent heartbreak.
Apparently on a whim to get rid of his youngests while the oldest was given whatever time was deemed necessary to mend her broken heart before returning, more eligible than ever, Horace subjected the three remaining girls to what can only be called harassment. Alice was sent over to the Longbottoms’ every other day with the most pitiful pretexts each time –not that she, or the boy the visits were intended for, complained at all- and Lily and Mary were all but dragged around town and forced to sit through countless impromptu tea parties, even though all the boys they encountered on those occasions were boys they had grown up with. He even went as far as forcefully sending Remus to take a vacation away from home, to their Uncle Dumbledore’s current residence, as to clear the house and give himself more time to focus on the desperate cases that were his daughters’ matrimonial prospects. A son, after all, was not as hard to marry off as a girl, especially one like Remus who was not only heir to the Evans estate but also to all of their Mother’s brother’s money and earthly possessions, seeing as Uncle Dumbledore remained a convinced bachelor even after something like sixty or seventy years of existence. Remus would still be a good prospect and able to father good children in twenty years, whereas his sisters had only a couple years left before their beauty and attractiveness definitely faded and they’d be condemned to spinsterhood. Anyway, understanding that the whole Black debacle had had a toll on their Father’s sanity and that he wasn’t to be crossed at such a sensible time, but also sensing that his agitation and unpleasant manners were really a show of his true concern and deep worry for his dear daughters’ futures, the Evans children embraced his requirements with good grace.
For Lily, it was a blessing in disguise, for more time forced to meet up with bachelors of the town meant she was more encouraged than ever to spend time with Severus. Horace had, for some reason, taken a liking to Severus early on, sharing with the apothecary’s son a deep interest in the power of plants and medicine. Sure, he had no shame exclaiming for the rest of the Evans to hear that the boy was probably the least good-looking man of the town and did not deserve his precious Lily in any way, but he had a good situation that would keep her safe and was, after all, the only man in the county that ever stood a conversation with the short-tempered read-head and has not been rebutted or pushed away. Mr Evans had all but not so secretly dreamed in secret that the reason Lily had been pushing suitors away all those years was only her earnest waiting for her real beloved to make his intentions known. Lily had always been very much embarrassed by that, but was now secretly grateful that her Father’s inclination allowed her to leave Mary to the mandatory match-making tea parties in order to slip away to meet her friend. A male friend was really a great excuse, Lily mused on such an afternoon, helping him sort through dried lavender flowers. Even though she was fairly convinced none of them would see in the other more than a brotherly or sisterly figure, she very nearly joked that they should fake an engagement for a time, just so Horace would get off her back and she’d find her freedom back. But she thought that, with Father’s eagerness to see her settled, they’d actually be tied before the altar before they had the time to blink and the prank would take a sour turn. Anyway, Horace seemed to think that Severus not having proposed already was a sign that Lily should not completely be exempted from seeing other gentlemen, and so she still had to put on her best clothes and visit their neighbours from time to time.
Lily had no idea why Horace would think that, after almost 20 years of acquaintance, those men could suddenly take an interest in her and she remarked as much at dinner, one day her Father’s match-making attempts had been particularly embarrassing for all involved. She exclaimed quite loudly and with coloured words that if he indeed desired to see her married he would do better to introduce her to strangers rather than try to force her again and again on the poor same souls she had already scared away years ago. .
It seemed her opinion made sense for she was sent to join Remus at Uncle Albus’ the very next day, and tried very hard not to take it as a punishment of some sort.