Official
Chapter Two:
Harry and Dudley were sent outside to play, Harry suspected so Petunia and Vernon could weave some lie to these magical beings about how Harry was a troubled child that made up stories just like they did with everyone else.
They didn’t realize they were trying to outlie the demon who practically invented lying though, what was more is Harry hid outside the living room window hiding in the bushes listening to the entire conversation and rolling his eyes with every excuse that Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia tried to sell to the two of them
“We’ve had a problem with him ever since he first arrived,” Petunia tried to reason in her shrill voice made all the worse with how nervous she was being unable to see Crowley’s eyes (Who wore sunglasses inside really?) Vernon instantly agreed with her
“He’s violent and tells the most insane stories, he broke Dudley’s wrist last year.”
Aziraphale raised a brow and glanced at Crowley who if Aziraphale could judge with his glasses on (Which honestly he’d known Crowley for nearly 6000 years at this point he was a fair judge of the demons expressions with and without the glasses) was the exact same disbelieving look
“The bigger, stronger very obviously more aggressive one that I saw chasing Harry around the park with his crones trying to attack him?” Crowley asked in the blandest and disbelieving of tones. None the less the tone and the shared look seemed to convince Vernon that they weren’t going to get anywhere with these two because his face immediately turned a bright red and Crowley just sighed and looked at Aziraphale
“Look at that angel, he’s going to yell at us now because we don’t believe him.”
That stopped Vernon and his face got even redder, Petunia looked like she’d just been slapped as Crowley fixed himself with a grin that was like the cat that caught the canary as he stood up with his hands in his pockets and pushed his glasses back up
“Now you’ve all told me your side, lemme tell you what I think is really going on here.” Crowley said before he looked at Aziraphale
“Stop me if you think I’m wrong angel,” he added sauntering around the living room and observing as Petunia and Vernon stayed surprisingly quiet to allow him to do so though Vernon’s face was nearly as red as a balloon and twice as big, Crowley was almost tempted to make Vernon float to the ceiling but that was going to have to wait for another day.
“I think your perfect little family got interrupted when Harry ended up here because his parents passed and you got resentful, your perfect little lives weren’t so perfect anymore for one reason or another can’t really say why it’s kind of different for people in this situation. You couldn’t pass him off to the system because that was going to make you look bad, you couldn’t have the entire neighborhood possibly thinking that you couldn’t take care of another child, nope so you kept him.” Crowley said still circling the room he only glanced at Petunia or Vernon a handful of times because if he stared at them for too long, he knew he was going to slap the mustache off of Vernon
“Rather than raise this boy with love and happiness you hid him away, made him your personal little slave and it might have worked for a little while except, Harry’s a bright kid he saw the difference in the way you treated him and…Dudley was it?” he asked the last part glancing at them and speaking in an almost mocking tone of the other boy as he proceeded to saunter around the room, circling the two like they were his prey and the more upset he got the more his tone reflected it despite him trying to hold himself back.
“So, every time he tried to defend himself, you hit him where it hurt literally and figuratively. You verbally abused him, mentally abused him obviously starved the kid half to death and if you even try to deny that one by looking at the kid I swear to- “
“Crowley,” Aziraphale cut in quickly with a sharp look that had Crowley reeling himself in for a moment and he took a deep breath shoving his hands deep in his pockets before mumbling a quick “thank you angel” before he turned to face the two of them glaring
“Point is. He’s not your kid, he’s barely your nephew and you treat him like he doesn’t deserve to live which everyone deserves to live, and every child deserves to grow up to be a child.” Crowley said simply before he let out a dark chuckle that sent a chill down Harry’s spine who was still listening at the window mind you.
“How child protective services hasn’t been called is beyond me- “
“That’s enough!” Vernon finally shouted and Crowley went from glaring to an amused quirk of his brow as the bigger man stood up and got his red pudgy face right into Crowley’s
“How dare you come into MY house and insult me, and my wife based off of one interaction that you’ve had with a compulsive liar! We treat that boy as if he’s our own and he’s manipulative, violent and- “
“I’m afraid,” Aziraphale said standing up and Crowley could see behind that small smile the anger that was behind it as the angel stepped forward and gently pulled Crowley back by his arm as he looked Vernon dead in the eyes “That I’m going to have to cut in this time, I’ve got a small question for you really that shouldn’t prompt to much thought from you this time and I’d also like to request that you don’t get in Crowley’s face like that.” Aziraphale said plain and simple as if they were just talking about tea or the weather but Crowley knew Aziraphale better than that, he knew that Aziraphale didn’t like it when people got in Crowley’s face the way Vernon did and that he was obviously upset because he knew that Crowley was exactly right with everything.
Vernon fumed at being cut off and Crowley thought for sure his head was going to explode from how quiet, calm and collected Aziraphale was about the whole thing continuing on as if this wasn’t them ganging up on him and his wife for better treatment of a child
“And what is that?” Vernon asked in a forced calm tone though Crowley was certain that wouldn’t last long from the smart-ass little smile that Aziraphale gave in response
“Do you make your son sleep in a cupboard as well?”
Dead. Silent.
For a moment Harry was certain that Vernon had imploded and took the moment to peek through the window so he could also see what was going on, Vernon had gone from so inhumanely red to a rather ghostly shade of white (‘that couldn’t be healthy’ Harry thought to himself)
“He sleeps there because it’s the only spare bedroom we had; Dudley’s room is- “
“Actually Mr. Dursley what you likely don’t know is that your wife gave us the grand tour before you arrived home, three beautiful bedrooms and one is just being used to hold your sons spare things of course she didn’t know that we knew about Harry until just a bit before you came home.” Aziraphale explained just as calm as before as he looked at Petunia with a lovely little smile as Crowley grinned and Aziraphale rummaged through his pocket and pulled out a pocket watch curiously, and Harry noticed that under his breath he seemed to be counting
5…4…3…2…
“How dare you,” Petunia hissed and Aziraphale snapped the watch shut returning it to his pocket and Crowley simply grinned as Aziraphale let go of his arm and Crowley strode over to her
“No, no, no if you’re going to hiss.” He said grinning wide enough that Harry could have almost sworn he had fangs as his glasses were removed to reveal his yellow snake like eyes as he leaned down into her face
“at the very leassst do it right.”
Petunia shrieked in fear and fainted on the spot as Vernon jumped back in surprise and Crowley cackled putting his glasses back on and straightening up
“Right I think we’re just about done here, Harry.” Aziraphale called startling the boy who had been spying “Go get your things, you’re coming with us.”
Harry didn’t argue and he was surprised that he didn’t hear much argument from Vernon either though he was certain after what Crowley did Vernon likely wasn’t going to talk for the next year or so due to shock. Harry went inside quickly and got the few personal belongings he had in the cupboard and joined Aziraphale by the door as Crowley sauntered out behind them before turning to Vernon
“Oh, by the way you sell drills, right?” Crowley asked him with a small snap of his fingers like a dawn of realization “I’ve heard those are incredibly dangerous, think the police were going to get involved about some malfunction nearly cost a guy his hand.” Crowley said Vernon fumed
“Go to hell!” He shouted with nothing else to say and Crowley grinned strolling towards the Bentley
“Been there, done that, rather lovely this time of year actually and if you keep it up with that blood pressure, I’m sure I’ll see you there in a couple of years give or take. Tootles”
With that and a sarcastic wave goodbye Crowley got into the driver’s seat of the Bentley and took off.
Harry honestly thought he’d never been so happy to go off with two almost strangers, but anything was better than the Dursley’s place, right?
The two ended up taking him to a book shop in Soho, a cozy little place although a bit cluttered (They’d talked about it on the way there, apparently neither had thought so far ahead they’d just thought about getting him out of the situation he was in.) Apparently, the place belonged to Aziraphale, he acted embarrassed that it was cluttered and even went as far as to admit that it was more of a book collection than a shop because he never actually sold anything. Harry thought it was a bit odd but didn’t comment on it. Aziraphale brought him up some stairs in the back and into an apartment that was a little old fashioned looking but it was nicer and to someone like Harry it was paradise in comparison. Aziraphale showed him where everything was and Crowley went around and started making something for dinner (“Gotta have something around here angel,”)
Harry was shown to a small bedroom of his very own, Aziraphale changed the sheets since he didn’t get company al that often and harry couldn’t help but flop on the bed and laugh at the fluffy feathery pillowsHarry couldn’t help himself but to flop back onto the bed with a bit of a laugh, the bed was surprisingly big and fluffy, soft pillows like hugging a cloud rather than a pillow.
Aziraphale was going to ask Harry if he needed anything but when he turned the boy was fast asleep cuddled in the tartan comforter and snuggled into the white pillows.
Aziraphale couldn’t help but smile at him, he supposed it was a long day and he would be sure to wake Harry up when Crowley finished dinner. In the meantime he carefully removed the boys glasses and set them on the nightstand before making sure he was tucked in properly and leaving shutting the door softly behind him.
Aziraphale headed for the kitchen where Crowley was pouring through one of the cookbooks frowning
“What’s the good in these things if you don’t have what you need for them? I mean really,” he muttered turning another page and aziraphale just shook his head and sat at the island in the middle of his kitchen watching as crowley tried to figure out what to do about food. Aziraphale himself however had other ideas on his mind, what were they going to do with Harry? They couldn’t take him to child services, they’d either never find out what happened to him again or find out what happened to him on some kind of news station and that’s if he didn’t end up in another family like the dursleys. He supposed they could try to see if he had any other family that they could reach out to but he also supposed if there was then he definitely wouldn’t be with the Dursleys in the first place. Aziraphale must have been thinking hard because he heard Crowley chuckle at the little and Aziraphale looked up at the demon who had apparently decided that for now spaghetti was the way to go as far as dinner
“You came to the same conclusion I did, right?” Crowley asked pointing a spoon covered in tomato sauce at Aziraphale “you know that we have to keep him right?”
Aziraphale nodded a little it seemed like the best option that they could offer Harry at this point
“We’ll ask him in the morning, he’s asleep and we’ve already put him through a lot for one day lets at least wait until he’s a bit to settle before we spring this on him.” Aziraphale suggested Crowley nodded agreeing with him.
Only thing is that they never really did, they ate dinner that night just as they’d agreed and it seemed like the next day when they wanted to bring it up they never found a good enough time, they agreed to try the next day...except now a month had gone by and they hadn’t really asked and Harry just seemed to assume that this was his life now. He explored the book shop, reading everything and anything that Aziraphale would let him get his hands on, he went out for exciting day trips with Crowley (he might have aided in causing minor mischief, gluing coins to sidewalks was always fun)
Soon the ineffable duo turned to the ineffable trio and they just gave up altogether on asking Harry if he wanted to live there since he seemed to make it pretty clear that there was no where else he wanted to actually be. They bought him new clothes that actually fit him, toys and other things that he needed and Harry noticed that some how his room seemed to get a little bigger which he didn’t entirely understand but also didn’t question it.
Aziraphale got him enrolled in a local school that had good reviews and listed himself and Crowley as Harry’s parents. It seemed a little odd and it brought up another awkward conversation that he and Crowley needed to have one night after Harry had gone to bed, passing out with a book and as per usual Crowley had to mark the page and take the boys glasses off when Aziraphale put in his idea
“Adoption?” Crowley asked quirking a brow at the angel who shushed him softly and pointed to Harry, Crowley sighed and motioned for Aziraphale to leave and the door clicked shut behind them, but not before a pair of green eyes opened. He crept softly out of bed and to the door cracking it open just a bit so he could hear the conversation that was being had
“What do we need to put it on paper for? He’s obviously ours, besides that would mean having to go back to that hot air balloon and pencil neck to get them to sign away their rights to him and you know that’s not going to happen.” Crowley said sitting on the couch with a large glass of wine in hand and his legs crossed up on the coffee table, Harry knew Aziraphale hated it when he did that and was surprised that he was allowing crowley to do it now but he suspected it was because he was asking something of Crowley.
“I know my dear, but if the school finds out we aren’t actually his legal guardians we could get him and ourselves into quite a lot of trouble, it’s not like it used to be where you could bring anyone in off the street and declare that they’re yours.” Aziraphale said to him shaking his head and sipping his own wine and Harry noticed that he was actually reading a book on laws (though he wasn’t sure he understood the bit about not being human.) Crowley scowled a little bit and sighed
“Fine. If the stupid government says that we’ve got to make it legal then I’ll go back and talk to that pompous prick.” Crowley said with a huff as he slumped back into his chair aziraphale smiled amused by Crowley’s minor temper tantrum and leaned over giving him a kiss on the cheek
“It’s for harry my dear,” He said before looking back at his book Crowley let out a sigh and nodded
“Yeah, for Harry.”
Harry couldn’t help but smile at the words, Aziraphale and crowley in such a short time had become his family. They actually cared about him, they wanted to spend time with him and assured him in so many different ways that he wasn’t a waste of space (a concept that was pretty foreign to him.) he was overwhelmed with joy at the idea that he was actually wanted and that they actually wanted to adopt him. They wanted it official and everything!
“Harry go to bed we’ll talk about this in the morning.” Aziraphale called causing him to jump and scurry back to bed he hid himself under the covers hearing a muttered
“Honestly Angel, i’ve got no idea how you do that.” from Crowley before Harry did his best to try and fall asleep.
Crowley had been smart about meeting with the Dursleys, first off he waited until Harry was in school so that they didn’t have any chance to say anything to him that might make him feel guilty, second he chose a public place hoping it would keep Vernon from yelling should that come up and third he’d chosen the Ritz because a fancy expensive lunch? Well with the way Vernon’s drills went downhill from those malfunctions (no one got hurt with the malfunctions they just like spontaneously combusted.) how could they refuse?
Sure enough they didn’t, they arrived though they looked to be in a sour mood from the get go but luckily Aziraphale was once again there to help them keep their cool, and to further things from possibly going down hill they’d also invited Anathema and Newt to tag along hoping it would keep things on the low levels of being noticed.
They exchanged pleasantries and introductions before they all sat down, crowley noticed that Petunia sat in the farthest seat away from him which he was totally fine with from the smell of that rancid perfume she was wearing.
Lunch went over well at first although a bit awkward, Aziraphale had been nice enough to catch Anathema and Newt up on what had originally happened and they’d taken a wonderful interest in helping with Harry as well and Anathema was doing a wonderful job at just keeping conversations flowing and pleasant despite how stiff Vernon and Petunia were
“Lets just cut to the chase shall we?” Vernon finally asked a little ways in and Aziraphale gripped Crowley’s hand under the table nervously “What do you want?” Vernon asked his eyes narrowing as he looked between the two
Aziraphale chose to be the one to speak up first
“We just need you to sign some papers, relinquishing Harry over to us.” Aziraphale said he even took out the folders with the papers only to have them snatched away by Petunia who looked them over carefully eyeing them with Vernon looking over her shoulder as they read the papers
“Unless you want him back,” Crowley said he felt the way Aziraphale squeezed his wrist and gently squeezed Aziraphale’s hand back reassuringly
“Which I don’t think you do because you haven’t called the police and gosh it would be a real shame if your neighbors knew what you did huh?” Crowley asked his glasses slipping down his nose so he could level them with a mischievous look.
Never had Crowley seen a pair of people sign anything so fast in their entire lives. They handed the papers back to them and then didn’t even wait for dessert quickly making their leave and Crowley grinned
“Was that legal?” Newt asked more than a little nervous as Aziraphale beamed down at the papers that had been handed to him, bearing the signatures.
“Not technically, they did threaten them but with good cause.” Anathema said shaking her head their auras had been absolutely horrible. Aziraphale looked at Crowley lovingly and Crowley just smiled and put his arm around Aziraphale’s shoulders
“Yep, but nonetheless, Harry’s ours!” Crowley practically cheered raising his glass and Aziraphale laughed raising his as well with Anathema and Newt.
That night they had a big celebration down in Tadfield at Anathema’s house, a surprise adoption party for Harry with all their friends, Adam and The Them, Madame Tracy and Shadwell. Everyone they were on good terms with anyway. Anathema had set the house up beautifully, balloons of all colors and streamers hanging down, she even got a pinata per Adam’s suggestion and there were plenty of games for the children to play.
Crowley pulled up to the house and gave a special knock on the door signaling it was them, it was meant to be a surprise but considering Aziraphale had insisted on making the cake himself Harry had a sneaking suspicion that it was some kind of celebration though he didn’t particularly know what he’d done to deserve it. Upon entering everyone yelled and Harry looked up at the Banner that read “Welcome to the family”
Harry was a little puzzled and that’s when Crowley cleared his throat and looked at Harry
“Well you see Harry,” he started looking anywhere but at him as he suddenly felt rather awkward especially with all these eyes on him
“Well Aziraphale and I- We talked to your aunt and uncle, well more like demanded but that’s besides the point um...well you remember- Oh I can’t do this, Angel say something.” Crowley said awkwardly taking the cake box from Aziraphale and storming into the kitchen his face bright red as he muttered something about not being able to deal with all this sappy stuff that had everyone snickering and giggling a little as he returned to stand by Aziraphale who looked down at Harry with pride
“Well you see Harry, though we’ve been considering you family since the day we brought you home we’ve wanted to ask you for quite a while- that is to say if you want to, we’d like you to be a part of our family.” Aziraphale explained to him with a smile
“We got the papers signed by your aunt and uncle making us your legal guardians but um ...well we didn’t want to sign the papers and make it official until you agreed to it.” Aziraphale explained to him. Harry was quiet, his eyes wide and stunned as Aziraphale pulled the papers from his coat pocket and showed them to Harry there were three empty lines left, one for Aziraphale’s signature, one for Crowley’s and one for Harry’s (Though he suspected this was just to make him feel apart of the legal part.)
Harry stared for a long moment before he realized he hadn’t said anything for a long time when Crowley cleared his throat again and looked rather red in the face
“We really like having you around and- well it’d be nice if- Fuck it I can’t-” Crowley was cut off by Harry hugging him and Aziraphale around the waist and burying his face into Crowley’s chest with the biggest smile on his face, tears threatening to fall as he smiled and looked up at them
“I thought we were already but nothing in the world would make me happier.” Harry said to them with that he seized the pen that was on the counter and signed his name at the bottom, followed by the other two and there were cheers all around as everything was basically official. Harry was part of the family and theirs forever. Harry had never felt so welcome or wanted in his entire life, Adam invited him out to play while the grown ups talked amongst themselves, they played with the pinata, Harry even got gifts (The them had pitched in and got him an ice cream maker!) they played more, ate candy and cake until Harry passed out on the couch in a sugar induced coma, the them weren’t far behind. Brian was leaning with his head on the opposite armrest as harry fast asleep, Dog was laid sprawled out on his back beside Adam who was about ready to pass out, Wensleydale was the only one seemingly awake though you could see him fighting to keep his eyes open and Pepper was curled up on the floor with her head on a stolen couch pillow.
Crowley chuckled a bit watching them all with Aziraphale, Crowley went as far as to miracle them all some blankets which is what did it for Wensleydale to pass out in a sugar coma
“They all seem to have enjoyed themselves,” Madame Tracey mused as she looked over them as well and Aziraphale nodded agreeing Madame Tracey looked to them with a smile
“I know you two will be wonderful parents,” She said happily to them “Just remember, not everyone is going to be as accepting of your life as your friends though. You’re going to have to keep your heads when he starts school.” She warned him Aziraphale suspected she knew from experience and realized he had never actually asked Madame Tracey if she ever had children, he wasn’t sure if it would be appropriate to ask now though. They thanked her for the advice and Crowley collected Harry picking the boy up in his arms and Aziraphale gathered the gifts thanking everyone again as they headed out to the bentley and the three went home,