Chapter 3
“Do you know what I like most about our relationship?” Hanni asked, sneaking up from behind Minji to wrap her arms around her waist. The taller was making breakfast in their kitchen one lazy Sunday morning. She was still in her pajamas, a pair of old sweatpants and a hoodie, so worn out the original color was indistinguishable after hundreds of washes.
“Me?” Minji replied, with a serious expression but a teasing tone.
Hanni scoffed and smacked the older’s shoulder lightly.
“It’s a wonder I’ve put up with you for so long,” she shot back, her silly expression betrayed just how false her words were, and Minji laughed at her, then leaned in to capture her puckered lips in a gentle kiss.
“This.” Hanni said once the Korean was back to peeling apples for the both of them and flipping toasts.
“This?” Minji asked, puzzled.
“Just how calm and sweet our life is.” She articulated. “We never really fight,” it earned her an eyebrow raise from the older. “We bicker,” Hanni corrected. “Like we’ve always done, and you tease me until I almost want to punch you, but we don’t really fight, not about big things. I like that.” She expressed. “I like how comfortable and safe you make me feel.” She added, shuffling closer again to hug her girlfriend.
“What’s with you all of a sudden?” Minji asked, softly, teasingly, but she still reciprocate the hug, even though her hands were sticky with apple juice and she had to drop everything she was holding to accommodate the smaller into her arms. She still held her closer and kissed the top of her head.
“Just... Dani is being weird lately, and it got me thinking.”
“Ah, still from that conversation from last week?” Minji asked.
It has been a week already, but the words from her friend kept circulating around in her brain until they rolled around and collected more thoughts and insecurities that later grew into a bigger ball of jumbled feelings. Hanni thought it was slowly driving her insane. That morning, though, she had woken up with Minji’s arms wrapped around her, like a warm blanket of protectiveness and love, and she realized that she didn’t care if Minji didn’t show her that passionate love Danielle was seemingly enjoying. It didn’t matter if Minji didn’t feel the need to leave marks on her skin, because she was secure in their relationship, sure of Minji’s affection towards her even if it wasn’t with burning and consuming flames.
“Yes, but I’m officially over it. I might also never want to look at Haerin in the eyes ever again.” She confessed.
“That bad?” Minji scoffed. “What could she possibly have said? Haerin is a timid little cat.”
The last word was enough of a reminder to give Hanni goosebumps. “Please don’t ever say that again, and let’s not discuss their relationship, like, ever.” She pleaded, making Minji look at her in amusement.
“Are you serious?”
“She traumatized me. Sweet innocent Danielle is not sweet and definitely not innocent and she traumatized me.”
“You are as dramatic as always.” Minji teased, going back to preparing breakfast just before burning the toast. “Are you ever going to tell me exactly what she said?”
“No,” Hanni replied instantly. “And trust me, you should be thanking me for it.”
-*-
Hanni had debated all Sunday evening and most of the night whether she wanted to ask Danielle more about the jealousy thing, or if she wanted to forget the incident altogether. She concluded that she wished she could forget the whole conversation, but was apparently unable to do so, because she still had questions roaming around in her brain. Said questions wouldn’t leave her alone, no matter how many times she had repeated herself that she didn’t care, that her relationship was enough.
“So, about the jealousy thing.” She muttered on Monday. They were alone once again in the studio, deciding to spend their lunch break together instead of going to the cafeteria.
Danielle brightened up immediately.
“I knew you were going to come back and ask for more!” She gloated, while munching on a tomato. Hanni regretted her choice immediately.
“You know what, never mind.” She mumbled, tossing around her own lunch with her chopsticks.
“No, no,” Danielle reassured, after swallowing. “I’m sorry, I’ll tone down the smugness. Go ahead, this is a safe place.You don’t have to be embarrassed.”
“If you talk like that, it’s only making me feel worse.”
“So you admit you’ve been thinking about it?” Danielle asked with a glint in her eyes, one that Hanni thought looked dangerous.
“Yes,” she muttered, lips pursed in an unhappy pout. “It’s all your fault and the hickey.” She complained.
“Does Minji not...”
“Minji is great!” Hanni was quick to defend. “And I’ve never felt... unsatisfied.” She made sure to let her know.
“Unnie, I get it, really, before this turn of events I was happy and satisfied too.” The singer reassured.
“I just... I guess I get why Haerin needs it, with the whole secret relationship and whatever, but what about you? What makes it so great?”
Danielle sighed and leaned back against the couch with a pensive look on her face, as if she was trying to find the right words to express herself. The producer watched and listened fearfully, like one would watch a horror movie, intrigued but scared at the same time.
“It makes me feel wanted,” she said after a while with a shrug. “When she gets so worked up and touches me so fervently, I feel like she truly wants me and needs me, you know?” The singer asked, brushing away from her face a strand of hair. “I mean, it’s not like she doesn’t show me how much she cares every day or even before this, but it’s just different. When I see what kind of reaction I can get out of her, when the light in her eyes just changes with pure lust, it’s electrifying.” She explained, making Hanni fall into yet another pensive mood.
“If you are that curious, why don’t you just try?” Danielle asked, watching her best friend’s gloomy expression.
Hanni huffed. “How could I even do that? Minji doesn’t really get jealous of me, and I like that she trusts me so much...”
“I told you, it’s not about trust.” The younger reminded. “Just hint that you are going out with some people.”
“She would just tell me to have fun.”
“Then start hinting about someone she knows you admire or like.”
Hanni blushed deeply, because the first thing that popped up in her brain was something definitely too cheesy to say out loud or even mention. Danielle caught on her sheepish expression and settled her with a hard stare.
“You were about to say something like ‘she is the only one I like’, weren’t you?” She asked unimpressed, making Hanni sputter out excuses, and some of her salad, too.
“No, I wasn’t!” That was clearly a lie. “I was just... I was just... yeah, I don’t like anyone else.”
“You don’t have to actually like anyone else, bro. Seriously, why am I even explaining this to you?” The singer sounded slightly exasperated. “You know what? Maybe it’s best if you let it go. Forget I said anything, with your track record, if you come up with a plan to make her jealous, it’ll probably end up in disaster, anyway.”
“Yah!” Hanni protested. “I’m not that bad! And for your information, my last plan turned out great. It got me a wonderful girlfriend.” She prided, but it fell on deaf ears, as Danielle was already entering the recording booth and putting on her headphones.
“I’ll write you that song!” Hanni threatened. “I’ll add octopus too!”
Danielle simply smiled brightly in return, with a thumbs up. “I love all animals!” And just like that, her bright, innocent best friend was back, with headphones perched on her head that looked bigger than her, and brown hair framing her small pretty face as if they had been carefully placed there. The duality of Mo Jihye was still astounding to her, even after almost fifteen years of friendship.