Separation
Remus had apparated to the Lockwood home, holding Angelina’s hand the entire way, he was scared for her, he wanted her to know how much he loved her and that he needed her to come back home safe and sound. He didn’t want her to leave, he didn’t want to be without her.
They met her parents outside the house and Angelina hugged them both, sharing a grave look that worried Remus immensely.
‘Stay safe for me.’ Remus whispered, holding his wife close, trying so hard to memorise the feel of her body. ‘Please come back to me, Angelina.’
‘I’ll always come back to you, Remus.’ She whispered next to his ear, her slender fingers dragged through his hair and he felt a little more at ease. ‘I love you with all my heart.’
Remus held onto her a little tighter, before he really needed to let go and let her leave with her parents.
‘I love you.’ Remus said, watching her smile for what felt like the last time.
Angelina apparated away and Remus was left standing in the garden of her parent’s house, unsure of what he was supposed to do next. Lily took him into the house and made him some tea. After a while, Remus began to feel a little more okay, but Valentine’s Day kept creeping up on him, the conversation with Angelina. He concentrated on every moment he had with her, trying to figure out whether he acted out of love or selfishness.
Lily was on hand to help him, but she and James were struggling as well. Harry was complaining about Umbridge and the way students were treated by her, but they simply couldn’t do anything to help. As far as the wizarding world was concerned, the Potters were going mad, thinking that Voldemort had returned, Lily’s patients didn’t want her to treat them anymore and James had barely played a game all season. They were being socially exiled and there was nothing anyone could do about it.
Remus hated where they were, Angelina was gone, Darren was off grid, the Lockwoods had gone east, the Potters were being driven away and Dumbledore was unable to leave the school unprotected.
The next few weeks were difficult and Remus did what he could as far as the Order was concerned, but what grabbed his attention the most was Tonks telling him that Benji had taken a few days off sick and come back with a nasty gash on his arm that he refused to explain.
Remus had written to Benji asking if he was alright, if he needed any help with the children, anything to reconnect with the Meyers family and hopefully give Angelina some peace of mind, but Remus never got a reply to his letter. He didn’t bother turning up to the house, he just kept to himself, stayed with Sirius when he was feeling lonely and formulated a surprising friendship with Tonks.
‘It’s mad, right?’ She said, her eyes a little hazy from the butterbeers they’d put away that night. Sirius was leaning back in his usual chair at the kitchen table, twiddling a bottle in front of him. ‘Mum and Dad reckon this is going to go the same way as last time. Everything fought in secret and then one day it’ll just be over.’
‘In some ways, I do hope so.’ Sirius nodded, Remus knew what he was talking about. He wanted the war to be over and done with quietly, but he didn’t want anyone to suffer like James and Lily had done.
‘I don’t even really know how all this started, you know?’ Tonks was a little on the tipsy side and it made Remus chuckle, causing the young witch to grin a little embarrassed. ‘You know what I mean.’
‘I do.’ Remus sighed, nodding. He swallowed a mouthful of butterbeer, not really feeling the effects the same as the other two, but going through the motions for the benefit of everyone else. ‘I’m not sure I quite remember either.’ Remus frowned, thinking on how exactly they had ended up where they were.
The kitchen was silent for a while as Remus thought on his wife, where she was and knowing she probably wasn’t staying safe, but doing everything she could to get back home to him.
‘How can you stand it?’ Tonks suddenly asked, Remus looked up to find Sirius had gone to bed. It was just Remus and Tonks alone in the kitchen. He hadn’t realised at that moment that he was playing with his wedding ring.
‘Stand what?’ Remus frowned, picking up the bottle in front of him and taking a sip.
‘She goes away to places and you don’t hear from her for weeks, sometimes months.’ Tonks was a little more than tipsy, so Remus took very little offense to her words. ‘And you just trust that she’s going to come back.’
‘I do.’ Remus nodded, taking another sip of beer.
‘How can you trust someone like that?’
Remus sighed and sat back in his chair. ‘Because despite her frequent trips and the reasoning behind her leaving, I understand. No one else can do the things she can and she understands that it comes with a responsibility to do what others cannot or will not. Her leaving for a few weeks at a time seems such a small price to pay for the freedom it allows others.’
‘But, what about you?’ Tonks leaned forward, making Remus frown. ‘What about your freedom? Don’t you think you deserve someone who’s going to stay for you?’
Remus took a deep breath in, he wasn’t sure he liked what Tonks was implying, luckily, she realised what it was she had said.
‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.’ She shook her head, trying to focus. ‘It’s just a hard time at the moment, you know?’
‘I know.’ Remus nodded and smiled sympathetically. ‘You need some help getting upstairs?’
Tonks half laughed and took his help. Her balance was a little off and there was a good chance she would make far too much noise and wake the painting of Mrs Black, so Remus helped her up the stairs and lit a few candles so she could see, he was kind and helped her out of her heavy boots and made sure she had some water nearby for the morning before saying his goodnight.
Once Remus was inside his own room, he just sat on the edge of his bed and looked at how empty it looked without his wife curled into the sheets, waiting for him. Part of him didn’t want to get into bed if she wasn’t there, but the other part was exhausted and knew that if he didn’t rest properly he wouldn’t be able to do his best, which was what he promised he would do for her.
He lay back against the cool sheets and read through the last letter she’d sent him a few days ago.
Remus,
I’m sorry it’s been a few days since I last wrote. I hope you’re alright, it sounds like the nightly patrols are getting harder, at least Sirius has company and isn’t going completely mad. I heard about Trelawney and that Dumbledore hired Firenze as some act of rebellion, it gave me a laugh which was nice, there’s not been much to laugh about at the moment.
Do you think Umbridge is any closer to doing more damage to the Order? I heard she has a new Inquisitor squad and that Malfoy boy is on it? That can’t be good news for Harry, have you spoken to him recently? Is he coping alright?
Are you coping alright? Is there anything I can do for you, to make this easier?
Aleksander’s condition is critical just now, the Death Eaters have been getting bolder, they’re definitely part of Valentine’s mob, but they don’t know I’m here yet. I had hoped to keep that bit of information quiet, but I think we’re running out of options. I will need to intervene soon, but I will be safe, for you.
Elena says hello, she had hoped to see you again, but understands you have other priorities just now. I haven’t heard from Darren recently, I won’t ask you to go and see him, but if you hear anything, please let me know. Mum and Dad think he’s been at training, but I’m not so sure, something just doesn’t feel right.
Anyway, I will need to cut this letter short as we’re about to patrol the borders of the Sanctuary again. The Ranger’s site is completely taken over and they’ve pushed us right back, I don’t know what it is they’re looking for exactly, but they seem to think they’ve found it here. The more information we can get on what they want, the easier it will be to get rid of them.
I love you.
Stay safe. Stay kind.
Yours always
Angelina
Remus sighed and thought about a reply. He hadn’t heard from Darren, he’d barely heard from anyone who didn’t sit at the kitchen table in Grimmauld Place, but he did make a mental note to ask James when he next saw him.
Remus continued going on nightly patrols around the department of mysteries, he did everything in his power to stay focused on what the Order needed him to do, his focus was helped by Tonks who by day was lively and full of hopeful energy, but by night was wickedly funny and smart. He started out amused by her personality, but now found himself terribly impressed by her fierce loyalty and bravery when it came to the hard things.
He visited the shop in Diagon Alley, mostly to see Casper and see how he was holding up, but in part, he wanted to see Alfred whose condition had begun to age his body in ways Remus had never conceived. Werewolves had shorter lifespans than humans and Remus knew that, but sixty didn’t seem very old at all and if this was as long as he hoped to have on this Earth, then he would make the most of the next twenty-five years with Angelina. He’d give her everything.
Alice was worried for her friend constantly and it left Casper to pick up most of the work, lucky for everyone, he was a very intelligent young man and could easily run the shop on his own most days.
Remus did his bit and helped where he could, but he feared that both he and Casper were being stretched rather thin.
The one thing that held Remus’s attention instantly that wasn’t his wife, was the news that Dumbledore had escaped arrest and was now considered a fugitive. The Order was called to a meeting not long after where Kingsley told everyone what had happened, no one could believe that Harry had been so stupid as to call the group Dumbledore’s Army. Lily and James were furious, only able to calm down with the help of Sirius and Remus, but even that was only a temporary fix for their outrage.
Remus wrote to Angelina the second he could.
Angelina,
Dumbledore has been sacked, Umbridge has taken over the school as headmistress and no one knows where Dumbledore has gone. All we know is that he’s away on mission, but no details of that mission have been revealed. We’re all getting worried about where he might be. Have you heard anything?
James says that Darren is off grid, he’s stopped turning up to training sessions, not even giving the excuse of injury anymore, he’s just missing. For the moment, the authorities are keeping it quiet and the club are still running with the story of a long-term injury, but I am worried. This is what happened last time, people kept disappearing and there was no trace of them anywhere.
Please tell me you’re alright, that you’re safe. I don’t have anymore information to give you, no one knows what to do next and we’re all beginning to panic.
I love you.
Yours
Remus
Remus watched the writing disappear almost immediately, the knowledge that Angelina had read his message the moment he sent it was a comforting one, but the lack of reply was disturbing.
In fact, Remus didn’t hear from Angelina for a few weeks, not until the message came through from Snape that Harry and his friends had done the stupidest thing they could. They went to the department of mysteries, having been lured in by a vision of Sirius being tortured. Remus answered the call to arms without hesitation.