Lockwood Part 6

Remus was surprised to wake up, look outside his bedroom window and see the silhouette of two people trudging towards his house. He quickly dressed and headed downstairs, wand in hand, it could have been a trick, the rain was coming down lightly, but it would be lashing soon.

‘Angelina.’ He breathed. He could see his wife being held steady by a woman he recognised from years ago. ‘Elena?’ He questioned, quickly rushing over to take Angelina’s weight from her. He scooped her up in his arms and led Elena back to the house. ‘What happened?’

‘She’s exhausted.’ Elena’s English had always been good, but he supposed without the need to use it all the time, she had gotten rusty. ‘She fought Valentine alone and has been exhausted ever since.’

‘Valentine?’

Remus got Angelina into the house and immediately took her upstairs to sleep for a while. He took her clothes off and tucked her beneath the warm sheets and closed the curtains. She looked to have fallen asleep instantly and Remus could only sigh and place a soft kiss to her forehead, before heading back downstairs to see Elena awkwardly standing in his living room.

Elena hadn’t changed too much since he’d last seen her, her dark eyes were still observant, her dark hair was the same length and it seemed she still had a feisty attitude. The one thing Remus did notice was how much seemed to be weighing on her shoulders now.

‘Would you like some tea?’ Remus offered and led her into the kitchen that was a bit of a mess, but she didn’t seem to mind.

‘Angie is very special.’ Elena said, taking her leather coat off and sitting down. Remus slowed his movements, unsure of what Elena was getting at. ‘I’ve seen her wolf before, but not like that.’ He turned to see her thinking hard on a memory, something was wrong.

‘Elena, what did she do?’ Remus asked a little more firmly than he had intended.

‘She saved us all.’ Elena’s dark eyes were starting to fill with tears, Remus was unsure she was capable of such things, she had always been so guarded.

Remus finished making some tea and listened to Elena’s story of what his wife did for the sanctuary. It was hard to believe that Angelina’s wolf had grown to the size of a house, but that was what Elena swore she saw and not a single report said otherwise. She told him how once Angelina had changed, not a single spell was cast from the wands of the trainers, Angelina had dealt with the oncoming attacks in quick succession, working on instinct alone, never killing anyone, just wounding them enough to be unable to fight any longer. She was quick, precise and moved with a fury Remus had rarely seen glimpses of.

‘Did she remember?’ Remus asked, his voice breaking, knowing what the answer was before he even asked the question.

‘She said it was a dream,’ Elena shook her head, playing with the handle of her black mug. ‘One she didn’t think really happened… but it did, I saw her do things no one in this world is capable of.’

Remus took a deep breath and sat back in his chair. He knew Angelina was capable of extraordinary things, but this? This was too much even for her.

‘She cried.’ Elena spoke up. ‘She cried long and hard and then she slept. Aleksander wanted to come, but he had work to do at the sanctuary. I volunteered, I wanted to make sure she made it back to you safely.’

‘And I thank you for that.’ Remus nodded. ‘She does have a habit of returning from abroad in less than one piece.’ Remus ran his hand over his face and thought on what was happening to his wife.

‘Valentine said the Dark Lord was looking for her.’ Elena nearly broke. ‘The Lockwoods.’

Remus’s heart dropped through the floor, if Voldemort was looking for her then no matter what he did, she wouldn’t be safe.

Elena was exhausted as well and so he invited her to rest for a while in their spare room, the one he’d finally finished making fit for purpose, the same one he was excited to show to Angelina when she returned. He supposed she would enjoy it all the same, but he had rather hoped to spend a few days comforting her before the war took them in whatever direction was next.

Elena woke some time in the evening and Remus made sure she ate something before walking her back to the apparation site. She seemed somewhat more refreshed than before and Remus was glad to see some of her strength had returned. They talked about the new improvements to the Sanctuary and how Kasha was getting on at the old Ranger site, it seemed that things had gradually started to improve before the attacks and many werewolves around the world found a caring and loving community to be a part of. Remus made a mental note to tell Alfred and Alice as well as writing to Erin who was still keeping her head down at the school, though every day felt more dangerous than the last to her.

‘It has been good seeing you again, Remus.’ Elena smiled.

‘You too. Please send my love to Aleksander and Kasha as well.’

‘Of course.’

Remus found himself hugging his old acquaintance and both of them sorely needing the contact for a moment. Elena eventually apparated back to the ministry to go home and left Remus in the middle of the damp field, hoping his wife was awake and able to recognise him.

I could hear the rain, I could smell chocolate and my own bed. I felt warm and cosy, I never wanted to open my eyes.

‘Angelina.’ Remus? ‘Angelina, open your eyes for me? Please?’ How could I not? How could I not do as my husband asked of me? I forced my eyelids to lift and suddenly I could see a dim light casting over the side of Remus’s face as he looked down at me. The candlelight illuminating every part of his handsome features, even his scars were beautiful. He sighed in relief and gave a small smile.

‘Kiss me.’ I breathed and suddenly his smile widened slightly as he pressed a blissfully soft kiss to my lips. I missed the taste of him, the feel of his love, the warmth of his hands as he cradled my face. I loved him with every part of my being.

Remus pulled away and just watched me for a moment, his soft eyes scanning my face and taking me in. Why couldn’t we just do this forever? Never leave our bedroom, just embrace the warmth and comfort forever.

‘I have missed you.’ He said, quietly and pressed another kiss to my lips again. ‘I have missed you so much.’ He sank deeper into the kiss and I wondered briefly if this was all just another dream. ‘Please don’t cry.’ I wasn’t even aware that I had been until he wiped the tears away from my cheeks.

‘I’m sorry.’ I whispered.

‘Don’t be.’ Remus shook his head. ‘You came home, that’s all I asked and you did it.’ Remus sat up and watched me for a moment longer. ‘Would you like some tea?’

I smiled and that was his cue to go downstairs and make us both some much needed tea and food. I was starving and the second he left my side, I felt it. I could suddenly feel everything about my body, every ache and sore muscle, every movement I’d made over the last few days was suddenly catching up to me and soon the memories followed.

I sat up straight with a little difficulty and saw that my bag was sitting close to the door. I held my hand out and summoned it over to the bed and began rummaging through to find the small, wooden box Benji had given me in the Alban Hills, I had intended on asking if Aleksander knew anything about the coins, but it seemed rather pointless in the end.

The box itself was simple, no markings or anything that could have been identified as containing anything other than a few trinkets, nothing of value, but I suspected that was exactly what Felix had intended on. I placed the box to one side and went through my bag to find the memory that Benji had given me, I was much more careful with the vile than I was with the box, I couldn’t risk the vile shattering before I got it to a pensieve. The next step was to find someone who had a pensieve so I could view the memory safely, there was no way I was looking at it in any other way.

‘What’s that?’ Remus entered the bedroom frowning, he set both of our mugs down on the bedside table and sat on the edge of the bed. ‘Benji’s memory.’ He sighed and suddenly looked slightly disappointed.

‘Remus-‘ I tried to explain.

‘I had hoped for just one evening with you without the worries of war looming over us.’ He confessed and I suddenly realised that he wasn’t exactly angry that I was barely awake and about to go bounding off again, he was upset that I’d come home, spent two minutes being his wife and without any regard for my health, decided to begin working again. He needed me as much as I needed him and I was ignoring that fact once again. ‘You know Dumbledore has a pensieve. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind you using it.’

I swallowed thickly, unsure of how to respond. I just watched his blue eyes take in my features once again.

‘We can talk about it tomorrow.’ I said and placed the vile in the drawer next to my bed, I put the box back in my bag and shoved it to the end of the bed. Remus just watched me with a small smile on his face. ‘Can I talk to you for a while? Tell you how I’m feeling about things?’

‘Of course, you can.’ Remus said gently. ‘Can I get into bed with you?’

‘Always.’ I smiled.

Remus half laughed, standing up to take his clothes off, I watched him carefully fold his cardigan, his t-shirt and his trousers and place them carefully on the chair in the corner of the room, smiling the entire time. He slid into bed next to me and immediately cradled my body against his, breathing me in and finally I felt calmer.

I could feel his love, I could feel the penetrating force that was my husband, his skin against my cheek, his long, slender fingers stroking through my hair and delicately placed on my hip, his soft breathing keeping in time with my own. It was perfect.

‘I lost control.’ I told him, my eyes struggling to stay open, I wasn’t falling asleep, I was just unable to keep my eyes open anymore. ‘I just felt my body turning into the wolf and that was it. Next thing I know, I’m tired and Elena is telling me I saved them… but I don’t remember doing anything.’ I felt the tears seeping through my eyelids once again.

‘It’s okay,’ Remus held me a little tighter. ‘It’s alright, I’m right here.’

‘I’m scared I’m going to lose control again.’

‘You won’t.’ He said, firmly. ‘I won’t let you lose control, Angelina. I won’t let you fall.’ Remus took a breath. ‘I don’t know what the answer is, but I am in this with you. I will never leave you alone or without help, we’re going to finish this together.’

‘Remus, you shouldn’t have to-‘

‘I married you.’ He interrupted me. ‘Angelina, I made a promise to dedicate the rest of my life to making you happy… I would do anything to see that day come to light.’ I had never heard the determination in Remus’s voice before. ‘The first war taught me how short our time is, it showed me that no matter what, the people we love the most are all that truly matter in the end. I love you more than I have ever loved a single person in my entire life. I will end this war for you if I can… but I know my place, and that is right beside you. Nothing will change that.’ Remus kissed my forehead softly. ‘What do we need to do to end this?’

I was quiet for a moment. This was a new side to Remus that a part of me hoped I would never see, the soldier, the warrior, the survivor. He fought in the first war, he fought and lost so much, I could feel his whole being slipping into survival mode, slipping into a state where he was on constant high alert. I wasn’t sure how this side of him would react to my own survival instinct. How would we co-exist in this state?

‘I need to look at Benji’s memory.’ I said. ‘And talk to Trelawney about the prophecy. I figure she’s the best one to talk to about these things.’

‘That’s a good choice.’ Remus said, still idly stroking through my hair. ‘As annoyingly grim as she can be, Trelawney does know what she’s talking about.’ I felt a small laugh come from my chest, but honestly I just wanted to sleep. ‘When will you go?’

‘As soon as I can.’ I sighed. ‘There’s no time to waste.’

‘You understand that I won’t be able to come with you.’

I let out a deep breath and snuggle closer to his chest. ‘I know. I don’t need you to. Just focus on the Order for now.’

Remus kissed the top of my head and eventually we drifted off to sleep.

Remus woke just as the sun came streaking into the room the next day. Angelina was still resting against his chest and his back ached from not wanting to disturb her through the night, but it was worth it to see her beautiful face, still asleep and about as peaceful as she ever looked.

He grabbed the two mugs still full of tea that had been left untouched the night before and descended the stairs to get the day going. Angelina would probably shower, do her morning chores in the garden and with the owls and then head off to Hogwarts. Remus rinsed the mugs and thought on what he could do for her. He never felt like he was contributing much anymore, just being there to help her body and mind recover, only to watch it be abused and torn all over again in the name of what was right. But how could allowing his wife to suffer be right?

It was a few moments before Remus suddenly realised, he was crying. He knew perfectly well why; Angelina was losing control over her wolf form, the same thing that happened to him when he transformed. All the talk of protecting her from such pain, all the want for her to live peacefully and know that she was loved, all of it was slipping away and there was not a single thing he could do about it.

Remus felt two warm arms wrap around his waist as he leaned over the kitchen counter, he half laughed knowing that she would have felt his pain and want to help him.

‘Please don’t cry.’ She said. ‘I hate it when you cry. It always means things are truly bad when you start to lose hope.’

Remus sucked in a deep breath. ‘I could never lose hope in you.’ He said. ‘But hope in myself is another matter.’ He gently turned to hold Angelina against his body, feeling how she had changed over the years, she was stronger and so much more beautiful than he could ever imagine. ‘I am losing hope that I will be able to give you what you need through this war… and I so desperately want to give you everything.’

‘I just need you, Remus.’ Angelina looked up at him with her deep blue eyes. ‘I just need you.’

Remus looked at his wife and tried hard to commit her every feature to memory, to understand what it was that made her beautiful, but he couldn’t do it, even standing in the kitchen they built together, bathing in the marriage they had so far, he couldn’t figure out what it was that made her so attractive to him. She just was.

‘I love you.’ He said and placed a small kiss to her soft lips. ‘With everything, I love you, Angelina.’

‘I love you, too.’ She smiled against his mouth and suddenly he felt okay again. He felt safe and settled and his faith was returning.

They spent the day together, Angelina needed his support and Remus ended up doing her gardening for her so that she could save some energy that was only just returning to her. They cried at how terrible the world was becoming, but as soon as it felt like it was too much to bear, they would talk about the wedding. It felt like a tether, something to keep them grounded in reality and giving them the motivation to keep moving forward.

Remus asked her about what happened while she was away in the Hills and Angelina was very forthcoming about what she saw. They tried to decipher the markings on the coins together, but none of it looked like anything they’d ever seen before.

Some of them were faded so it was difficult to tell if they were different, but Angelina’s instinct was telling her there were two different types. There were maybe five or six that had the same symbol and the rest had another, her suspicions were that one set was for summoning, but they didn’t dare try to summon anything before knowing what exactly it was that was they were messing with.

‘I’ll have to go back into Felix’s memories and try to figure out if he ever used them.’ Angelina sighed, rubbing her eyes and leaning on the kitchen table. ‘And if he did, what he actually summoned.’

‘You think he would have used them?’ Remus asked, seriously. ‘If he buried them that deeply, then it might elude to the fact he never intended them to be used for any reason.’

‘Yeah,’ Angelina nodded. ‘But he might have learnt that the hard way.’

She rubbed her eyes again and sat back, stretching her back.

They both jumped at the sound of Rilee screeching outside. Angelina was the first to jump up, Remus followed in behind and they saw Rilee hopping around outside of the Owlery. Angelina ran inside and all Remus could see was Ruben lying on the floor where he’d fallen from his perch.

‘He’s dead.’ Angelina croaked.

Remus did his best to calm Rilee down, she was still young and Ruben was almost fifteen years old. She was frantic as Angelina gently scooped the large barn owl into her arms and headed into the forest to bury him.

It took a while to get Rilee settled, but eventually she was calmer and Remus kept her cage door open in the corner of the kitchen. Eventually Angelina emerged from the forest and Remus could see her wiping away her tears before she stepped into the house.

She gave Remus a helpless smile and the flood gates opened up again. Remus wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. They both knew the Ruben’s days were numbered and that this was coming sooner or later, Remus just prayed for later.

‘Do you want to go and see your parents tonight?’ Remus suggested. Angelina didn’t say anything, she just shook her head.

‘Tomorrow.’ She whispered and Remus understood.

Rilee was in mourning and Remus suspected her quite hoots were whipping at Angelina more than she wanted to admit, but she wouldn’t leave Rilee on her own that night. Remus watched her continue to work on the coins, occasionally cry at the death of Ruben and talk to him about how sad she was.

Remus had never known Angelina to be so open about what she was feeling, as bright and happy as she was in her youth, she never spoke about the events that traumatised her. Remus had worked hard to get her to open up about things and lean on him when she needed someone to help her carry the load, it seemed that lesson had finally sunk in and she was able to see how much he wanted to help her.