Lockwood Part 6

The shop was still doing well despite the attack in Knockturn Alley, I was glad at least for the werewolves that still felt like they could come to us for help, but Remus was the one who was eager to go and help as much as possible. Casper was making visits to the greenhouses in Cornwall to check up on a few methods for growing better and stronger plants, we had a good working relationship with them and while he was away, Remus was taking over the desk duties where he could.

He didn’t exactly brag about me, but I heard from Alice he’d used our engagement to scare off a young witch who’d been routinely flirting with him. She wasn’t a werewolf, she didn’t even know any werewolves, but she had taken a keen interested in my fiancée and I couldn’t stop my laughter at hearing the story. It was just about the only thing making me laugh these days, the little stories that Remus or anyone else was telling.

I’d heard from Benji about the incident with the dementors when Harry was staying with Mrs Figg, the details were a little vague, but the word about the hearing was as clear as day. What was Fudge thinking? Calling up the entire Wizengamot for a bit of underage magic was unheard of, there must have been something else going on, but I trusted Dumbledore would see Harry was taken care of.

Remus made good on his promise and the second I was recovered and able to physically function properly, he kept me in bed for the whole day, making me laugh and telling me stories about all sorts of things he could think of, it was bliss, no responsibilities and no other priorities other than what was in front of me.

‘We’ll be married in a few weeks.’ Remus said, kissing the top of my head. His hand was gently stroking down my shoulder while I lay against him trying to read my book. It was only by the dim light of the candle next to the bed that I was able to see anything at all.

‘That soon?’ I felt a whip of panic, I wasn’t sure I was quite ready for that.

‘Jocelyne thought 6th September was a nice date, it’ll still be warm out as well and we all know how much you hate the cold.’ Remus kissed my head again, I knew he could feel my nervousness. ‘I’m nervous as well, don’t worry.’

‘You’ll tell me I look good right? Even if I don’t?’ I knew it was a small and somewhat pathetic thing to be worried about. ‘I’m not exactly a dress person.’

Remus began shaking a little, it made me put my book down and turn to face him.

‘Why are you laughing?’ I asked, confused at his reaction.

‘Because I still have the picture of you at Jocelyne’s wedding,’ he chuckled. ‘You wore a very well fitting red dress and I thought you were the picture of beauty.’ Remus slid his hand up my jaw and looked over my face. ‘Believe me when I say that any dress you wear will suit you extraordinarily well and I will not hesitate to make that known to you.’ He gently kissed me and I felt myself deflate with relief.

‘Good.’ I whispered and kissed him once more before finally settling down against his chest to sleep, I was exhausted. ‘That’s good.’ I breathed before darkness fell behind my eyes.

Remus was a little unhappy that Angelina was asked to collect Harry from Mrs Figg’s house, it was only supposed to be him, James, Kingsley and Mad-Eye, but Dumbledore saw fit to add Angelina, Benji and Tonks to the list, just to be safe. He didn’t mind her being around, but there was a chance they could be attacked on the way to Grimmauld Place and with how tired she had been lately, Remus knew he would be distracted from the job at hand.

‘It’ll be fine.’ She smiled up at him as they entered into Mrs Figg’s house, quietly. ‘Just focus on Harry and I’ll focus on you.’

Remus smiled back at her, hoping it provided some form of assurance that he would try, but he knew his doubts would shine through so clearly. Harry was packed and ready to go the second the Advanced Guard turned up on the doorstep, apparently he’d grown so bored and tired of Mrs Figg that he’d thought about the chance to leave every moment he had to himself.

‘Angie?’ Harry frowned, Remus had been standing in front of Angelina and Benji who were staying close together behind Remus. ‘I didn’t expect to see you here, congratulations by the way.’

‘Oh, thank you…’ Remus smiled at her reddening cheeks.

‘Alright, that’s enough of that.’ Mad-eye cut in. ‘We’ve got a schedule to keep to. You can catch up on formalities when we get there.’

‘Where are we going?’ Harry asked. It was James to tell him it was somewhere safe and that was all he needed to know for now.

Angelina and Benji stuck together and would be leading the group, with James staying close to Harry, Remus on the other side, Tonks below and Mad-Eye above, Kingsley was the extra broom holding up the rear. The night was cold and Remus knew that Angelina would hate it, he made a plan to ensure she had a cup of tea and something warm to eat when they got to Grimmauld Place, before she looked back and chuckled at him. Remus suddenly remembered he needed to focus on Harry and not her for the journey.

Once they arrived, he could see she was shivering, but she didn’t let her guard down, she pulled her long black coat tighter around her body and made sure the street was clear.

‘Okay, come on. Harry, you first.’ She encouraged Harry to step forward before Mad-Eye handed him a piece of paper.

12 Grimmauld Place began to appear in front of them and Harry gazed up at it in wonder, Remus forgot he didn’t spend much time there and probably hadn’t seen a house concealed in this way too many times in his life. Even Remus had to admit how impressive it was at times.

They stayed as quiet as they could, James telling Harry to head upstairs to Ron and Hermione, whilst everyone else piled into the already full kitchen. Remus immediately grabbed two mugs and made Angelina some tea to help her warm up. He sat opposite her, next to Sirius and finally began listening to what Dumbledore and Snape were saying.

The meeting was longer than expected, Angelina looked distracted most of the time, but managed to answer any direct questions Dumbledore had for her. She and Remus were making so little progress in the werewolf community that they may as well have been doing nothing at all.

‘…with regards to Harry himself,’ Dumbledore moved on, making the Potters sit up a little. ‘I’ll leave most of the decision making up to James and Lily, but I believe it imperative that we do not let it be known to him the true nature of what Voldemort is searching for. Keeping him shielded from any important details may well help us to gain the upper hand.’

Remus turned to Angelina completely by chance to see her head snapping up and a deep frown settling in.

‘So, we’re not going to tell him anything?’ She asked, making most of the table turn around to stare at her for interrupting Dumbledore.

‘For now, yes,’ The Headmaster nodded. ‘We will see what the-‘

‘I’m sorry, but that doesn’t seem right to me.’

‘Angie-‘ Benji tried to calm her down.

‘No, I’m sorry, but how can we prepare him if he knows nothing of what Voldemort is planning.’

‘He’s just a boy, Angie,’ Mrs Weasley piped up. ‘A fifteen-year-old child.’

‘I was fifteen!’ Angelina snapped and no one dared speak just yet. ‘I was fifteen years old and I sat in your office,’ she stood up and gestured to Dumbledore. ‘And you asked me to save the world! I was woefully unprepared because you chose to keep things from me, you kept everything a secret, you knew fine well about my family and you chose to say nothing… and now you’re doing the same thing to Harry.’

‘It’s not the same, Angie.’ Mrs Weasley again spoke up. ‘You had incredible potential and I don’t mean to say that Harry doesn’t, Lily, but the circumstances are entirely different.’

Angelina frowned and Remus caught the exchange of looks between James and Lily.

‘This is unbelievable.’ Angelina half laughed. ‘You’re sending him back to Hogwarts with no information on what’s going on. Say you leave the school for whatever reason and Voldemort decides to attack, which we all know is not beneath him to attack a school full of children, what happens then? Harry will have no idea what to do, who to contact or how to defend himself. Are you honestly telling me you think that is best for him?’

‘That is what I am asking you, yes.’ Dumbledore said diplomatically. Remus could see Angelina thinking hard.

‘I’m not saying we tell him everything.’ Angelina tried one more time. ‘Some details should be kept in house, but you can’t send him back with nothing. You just can’t.’

‘I’ll say no more on the subject, Angie.’ Dumbledore said with a firm finality on the subject. ‘This meeting is concluded, you all have your tasks… good luck.’

Angelina held Dumbledore’s gaze for just a moment and Remus sighed heavily, trying not to give away his disappointment.

They stayed for dinner, Remus kept a close eye on Angelina, but soon it was obvious she couldn’t bear to be in the house much longer and they left before dessert, much to the disappointment of Molly.

‘Angelina-‘ Remus made three or four long strides to catch up with her on their way back to the house.

‘How can he do this?’ She demanded. ‘He is deliberately keeping things from Harry, things he should know!’

‘Dumbledore doesn’t think he should know them right now.’ Remus countered.

‘Dumbledore doesn’t understand Harry’s position!’ Angelina snapped back and turned to face him.

‘And you do?’

Angelina went quiet for a moment, before continuing to walk back to the house.

‘I lost so much weight,’ she said quietly, taking her long black coat off and hanging in in the cupboard beneath the stairs. ‘I cried more times than I ever told anyone, I felt so alone when I found out Snape was giving you my potion, like no one was going to help me no matter what I did or what I was supposed to be. You have no idea how angry I was for so long… Harry can’t be left on his own, it’s too much.’

Remus found himself wrapping his arms around the waist of his fiancée and letting her cry into his shoulder. He knew full well that this wasn’t just about Harry, Angelina had so much on her mind lately and anymore pressure was a risk of finding her breaking point. Remus couldn’t allow that to happen.

‘Angelina,’ he breathed into her soft hair. ‘I’m so sorry you felt so alone, but Harry isn’t alone while you are looking out for his best interests so fiercely. Angelina, I’m sorry, but there’s nothing more we can do until Dumbledore asks it of us, he will help Harry while he’s at Hogwarts, we need to trust he knows what he’s doing.’

Angelina sighed, finally her body relaxed. ‘Yeah… yeah, I suppose we do.’

She felt deflated, exhausted, Remus had never felt her body like this before, it was as if everything about her was drained, what had happened to her? And why didn’t he notice sooner.

‘I need to stop lying to you.’ Angelina began crying. ‘I’m so sorry, Remus. Please help me stop lying.’ Remus felt her knees give in and just before her body failed her entirely, Remus lifted her onto the comfy brown sofa that they often shared in the evenings, keeping her legs draped over his and his arms cradling her against his chest.

‘What did you lie about?’ Remus said, a little more firmly than he intended. His mind was telling him that she had betrayed him, broke a fundamental rule of their relationship by lying about anything, but his heart was telling him that he knew this woman inside and out and if she was this upset, then it might not have been quite as bad as he thought.

‘I don’t know if I can do this.’ She sobbed into his neck. ‘I just want to run away and never hurt you ever again, I don’t want you to be in pain because of me anymore. You don’t deserve me.’

Remus just looked into her wet, ocean blue eyes and sighed, placing a soft kiss to her cheeks. ‘You remember Reykjavik, when I told you I didn’t care what kind of life we had, as long as I get to spend it with you?’ Angelina sniffed, while Remus continued to place small, soft kisses to every patch of skin he could reach. ‘Do you remember that?’

‘Yes.’ She breathed.

‘I wanted to marry you then,’ Remus whispered. ‘And now that I am so close to doing just that, nothing is going to deter me from that…’ Remus gently pulled her chin up so he could see her glistening cheeks. ‘This house was your dream, marrying you is mine, Angelina.’

It took her a long time to think, a long time to really understand him, but she eventually came to her conclusion and nodded. ‘Okay…’

‘Okay.’ Remus smiled and placed a slightly firmer kiss to her lips, letting his hand drift up her thigh and sighing into the feeling. ‘Now… why don’t you tell me what’s really bothering you? Why are you so upset?’ She half laughed, thinking about something for a moment, before deciding to speak up.

‘I just… I feel like I turned out wrong.’ Angelina whispered. ‘I feel like I didn’t turn out the way people expected me to… there’s so much I wish I could have done differently.’

‘Like what?’

‘Like, the tournament, the wolfsbane, Bulgaria, Tibet… everything.’ Angelina took a deep stuttered breath and all Remus could do was watch her. ‘Why couldn’t I just do as I was told and stay home? Why couldn’t I just stay with you? Be normal?’

Remus half smiled and sighed, leaning on the back of the sofa and watching her for a moment. ‘Angelina, you didn’t turn out wrong.’ Remus slid his hand into her hair and began massaging the back of her neck. ‘You are beautiful, I promise you didn’t turn out wrong, you just… you’ve had some hard choices to make, you’ve done your best and no one can ask that you do anymore.’ Remus kissed her forehead and breathed her in. ‘As long as you stick to what you believe to be right, as long as you continue to make the choices that you think will benefit the most people, then everything will be okay… I believe that.’

Remus just watched her for a while, it seemed that Angelina didn’t have much more to say, or rather she was too tired to go into any detail. He sighed and moved to give her a little more room.

‘What are you doing tomorrow?’ Remus asked, quietly. Angelina just shook her head, indicating she had nothing to do. ‘Well, how about you stay home with me? Let me take of you for a while?’

Her eyes seemed suddenly brighter, like the prospect of not having to do anything was one she had been craving for far too long now. Remus smiled and kissed her forehead softly.

‘This war, no matter how long or short will exhausted us all,’ he whispered. ‘I can’t have you not taking the time you need rest when you have the opportunity to.’

‘Thank you.’ Angelina breathed.

They sat on the sofa for a little while longer before Remus carried her up to bed, gently removing her clothes and settling in next to her. He looked out at the sky which was entirely black, save for the glistening dots that were thousands of stars floating above them. It was something that Remus hadn’t quite thought about or counted on, but they lived in the middle of nowhere and no light reached them for miles; it was the perfect setting in which to see every star in the universe from the comfort of the home they were just starting to build together. Beautiful.