Title: Are you proud of me?

Series: Confession

Beta:

Pairing: V/O

Rating: NC-17

Warning: Slash, memories of the past. Very hard emotional.

Disclaimer: I only borrowed them for the story. This never happened in real life.

Spoiler: Set between shooting LoTR films. AU.

Summary:

~

Part 3: Are you proud of me?

1.

At Viggo’s flat…

Viggo watched Orlando as he was covered by the shadow.

Viggo reached his hand over Orlando face, as he felt the shaking.

“Orli, is there something wrong?” Viggo asked.

Orlando shakes his head, as there was nothing, but Viggo saw otherwise, and say nothing.

Viggo did not want to push the young man to speak, as his heart aching to see him like this.

“Orli, will you join me?” Viggo asked as he removed the blanket from the bed, and glared over Orlando who only stands there with his mouth opened.

“Orli? Love?”

“Are… are you proud of me?” Orlando asked suddenly, and thought that he should take his words back.

Orlando knew that Viggo loved him, and must be very proud of him.

“I… I…” Viggo said surprised from the question and walked away from the bed over his lover, who stared in him, and waiting for his answer.

“I am sorry, I shouldn’t ask you that,” Orli said, and sat at the edge of the bed.

Viggo walked over him, and sat next to him, as he moved his hand over the young man shoulder.

“What is bothering you?” Viggo asked.

“No…nothing,” Orli said, as he felt that he should ask the question, and hurt the man that he loves so much, and dear to his heart.

“Orli, this is not nothing. I can see the pain in your eyes, I can see that there is something else.” Viggo said.

“I… I…” Orli shuddered.

“Do you not trust me?” Viggo said cunning.

“I’m trust you, as the way I love you,” Orli said, and turned his head slightly over him and gave him a shy smile.

“Now tell me, what made you act like this?”

“Are you proud of me?”

“I’m proud of the man you became, I’m proud of who you are, I’m the one that should gave you honor, as I fell in love with you,” Viggo said, and pull the young man closer to him, and kissed him, as their tongues dueling, as ballet dancers.

As the kiss broke, Viggo felt that Orli did not say the all thing; there was still a missing part, as a missing piece of puzzle.

“Orli, is someone did or said anything to you?” Viggo asked.

“My… my mom,”

“WHAT? How?” Viggo screamed.

“She was never proud of me, you know?”

“What are you talking, love? Mothers should be very sweet, with loving and caring,”

“Well, my mom is not,” Orli said.

“What do you mean?”

“Well…” Orli tried to say, “my mom never said how proud she was on me… she…” Orli voice trailed off.

“She what?” Viggo asked, noticed Orli’ eyes on the floor.

Viggo moved his hand over Orli’ face and raised him, tried to catch his lover’ eyes.

“She always made me feel useless in my life… or in every work that I worked… until LOTR.”

“Orli, love? Look at me,” Viggo said, as he felt the pain in his lover voice, that aching more in his heart.

Orli moved his eyes with slightly fear; he seemed to fear from the older man’ answer.

“Orli looked at me,” Viggo said as he let the tears fell on his cheeks, and added “Your life were not useless, you’re the one that every fans love and admire, you should not need to think about it,”

“Yes I need,” Orli said.

“But why?”

“My mom…” Orli tried to explained only to be cut by his love.

“Stop thinking about your mom, Orli.” Viggo said.

“But, my mom…”

“You’re mom, is what?”

“My mom…” Orli took a deep breath and continued “My mom… made me thoughts that maybe I not good enough to do what others can, to feel love, to love myself…”

“I didn’t know. Do you feel different with me?”

“Yes, for the first time in my life, I can feel love, but I still can’t love myself,” Orli said and his lips shivered.

“Why can’t you love yourself, you are beautiful as masterpiece,” Viggo said.

“My all life was a mistaken, I am worthless,” Orli said and covered his face with his hands, cannot face Viggo’ eyes.