2016
The air was thick with tension, the kind that wraps itself around your lungs and squeezes the breath right out of you. Kelley stood on the sidelines, after being subbed out in the 72nd minute. Her eyes fixed on the field as she heard the final whistle blow, signaling the end of extra time. They had battled hard, fought for every inch, but it wasn't enough. Thanks to Alex, they were still in it. But they didn’t manage to score another goal and the match went to penalties, and now everything came down to this.
The players gathered in a circle, their faces tight, feeling the pressure of what was about to happen. Kelley could feel the weight of every single breath as her teammates lined up, mentally preparing themselves for the kick that could decide everything. She wanted to be there, to be on the field and take one. She wanted to help her team, but she couldn’t.
Alex was the first to go up, and she didn’t score. They were already at a disadvantage as Sweden scored their first. Lindsey scored hers after Sweden scored their second. And then when Sweden missed, Kelley cheered and tightened her arm around Mallory, who had worked her socks off all game. Carli scored hers and they were tied. When Moe scored her penalty, Kelley jumped up with joy. They needed to score this one to stay in.
Christen Press, one of Kelley’s closest friends, stood at the penalty spot, her usual confidence shaken by the immense pressure she was under. Kelley knew Christen. She had seen her thrive in the biggest moments, always calm, always cool. But this was different. This was the moment. Her best friend, her rock on the field, was standing there with the weight of her country on her shoulders.
Kelley watched as Christen took her step forward, the ball meeting her foot with a powerful strike that was meant to be the one that sent them to the semi-finals.
But the ball sailed wide.
It was like the world paused in that moment, the silence that followed as deafening as the roar of the crowd just seconds before. Christen stood frozen, her hands on her hips, eyes wide in disbelief. Kelley’s heart dropped into her stomach. The realization settled over the entire team and the moment they had worked so hard for, the moment they had hoped for, disappeared.
Kelley’s body felt heavy as she stepped onto the field, moving slowly after hearing the final whistle blow, it was official. They had been knocked out. Sweden had progressed.
All those years of preparation felt like a waste of time.
Christen had collapsed onto her knees, her face buried in her hands. Kelley’s breath caught in her chest. She knew her friend well enough to know how badly this hurt her, how much it meant to Christen to help carry this team forward. But as much as Kelley wanted to rush to her best friend, her attention was pulled in another direction.
Across the field, Mal stood still, her hands on her hips, tears silently streaming down her face. The youngest member of the team, eighteen years old, had given everything to this game and this entire tournament, and now she stood there, crushed. She hadn’t been the one to miss a penalty, but the loss had been heavy for her in its own way.
Kelley quickly jogged over to her, her heart aching as she approached Mal. The teenager looked lost, her usual spark dimmed, and it broke Kelley’s heart to see her like this.
“Mal,” Kelley called softly, placing a hand gently on her shoulder.
Mal’s head snapped up, her eyes wide and full of hurt. She shook her head, her voice trembling as she spoke. “I- I couldn’t do enough,” she whispered, her words barely audible over the noise of the crowd. “I sh- should’ve done more. I let everyone down.”
Kelley’s heart squeezed in her chest. She crouched down so she was eye level with Mal, brushing a strand of hair out of her face. “Mal, no. Listen to me. You didn’t let anyone down,” Kelley said firmly, her voice strong but gentle. “This is on all of us. All of us. We win together, we lose together.”
Mal shook her head, fresh tears spilling down her cheeks. “But we were so close. It hurts so much.”
Kelley’s heart broke for the young forward. She knew how much it hurt to fall short, how deeply the disappointment cut. She had been in this position before, so many times, and it was hard to imagine anything more painful than standing on the field, knowing you could’ve done something to change the outcome, but also knowing it wasn’t entirely in your control.
Kelley pulled Mal into a hug, holding her tightly, “I know, Mal. I know. It sucks. It all sucks. But you’re not alone. I’ve got your back, always.”
Mal clung to her, her body shaking with the force of her sobs. She was like a little sister to Kelley. And Kelley would agree that she was probably the most protective of Mallory out of all her teammates. They had a special bond.
After a few long moments, Mal pulled away slightly, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. “Thanks, Kelley. I just… I don’t even know what to say.”
“You just breathe, kid. That’s all we can do right now. Breathe, and we take the next step together. There’s always a next time,” Kelley said, offering a tight smile.
But even as she said it, her eyes couldn’t help but flicker toward Christen, who was still kneeling on the grass, her back hunched in defeat. Kelley’s heart ached for her friend too.
She’d seen Christen put her soul into making this roster, and it hurt her to see her broken like this. She knew Christen would be replaying this moment for a long time.
“I’ll be right back,” Kelley said to Mal, giving her one last squeeze before walking quickly toward Christen.
Christen didn’t even look up as Kelley approached, her posture small, vulnerable, something Kelley had never seen in her before.
“Hey, Press,” Kelley said softly, kneeling down next to her. “I’m here.”
Christen’s breath caught in her throat, and she finally looked up, her eyes red and raw with emotion. “I… I can’t believe I missed it, Kel. I had it. I had that shot. I could’ve-” Her voice broke, and she covered her face with her hands.
Kelley leaned in, her hand gently resting on Christen’s back. “Hey, hey, don’t do this to yourself. You didn’t let anyone down. We are a team, Chris. This isn’t on you. It’s not your fault.”
Christen didn’t say anything at first. She just sat there, shoulders shaking, letting out a long breath. Finally, she dropped her hands and looked at Kelley, the vulnerability in her eyes almost too much to bear.
“I’m sorry,” Christen whispered.
“Don’t,” Kelley said firmly, her voice steady. “You have no reason to apologise, you hear me?”
Christen gave a small, watery smile, her eyes still heavy with the pain of the loss, but for the first time, she seemed to take a small breath.
Kelley stayed by her side for a few more moments, offering her silent comfort. She knew they had to go back to the locker room to get on the bus, but all she wanted to do was to be there for Christen, for Alex and all of her teammates.
****
The bus was quiet - too quiet. Kelley sat by the window at the front of the bus, her arms crossed tightly over her chest, her mind replaying every moment of the game. The loss had been gut-wrenching. She had given it everything. They all had. And yet, here they were heading back to their hotel, their dreams of winning two times in a row gone.
She let out a slow breath and stared out at the passing scenery. The lights of the highway in Brazil blurred by, and for a moment, it felt as if everything was moving on without her. Her hands were shaking slightly, but she wasn’t sure if it was from how tired she was or the weight of the loss. Probably both.
She glanced around the bus. Some players were talking in hushed voices, mostly the younger ones. Some had their heads down, lost in their thoughts, Alex was one of them. A few were already asleep, Tobin, Moe and Crystal were who she could see from where she was sitting. Then she saw Sonnett sitting near the back, alone, staring straight ahead. Emily had been an alternate for this tournament, and though she hadn’t been on the field for the game against Sweden, she was still a part of the team just as much as anyone else.
Kelley hesitated for a second, then stood up, her legs feeling sluggish. She wanted some company, so she walked over to where Emily was sitting, not knowing exactly what to say, but knowing she needed to break the silence.
"Mind if I sit here?" Kelley asked, voice soft but slightly strained.
Emily looked up, her blue eyes weary but warm. “Not at all,” she replied, scooting over slightly to make room. She gave Kelley a tired smile.
Kelley slumped into the seat, rubbing her forehead. The exhaustion was starting to hit her hard now. She glanced at Emily, who was looking out the window, her hands resting in her lap. “You doing okay?” Kelley asked quietly, though she suspected the answer.
Emily sighed. “Yeah. I mean... no. But you know, it’s not like any of us expected it to be easy. It just... hurts.” Her voice trailed off as she turned to look at Kelley. “I know how much this meant to you.”
Kelley nodded, not trusting herself to speak for a moment. “It... it’s hard to accept. You know?” she said, her voice cracking. “We were so close, and yet it wasn’t enough. I wanted to go further. I wanted to win.”
Emily leaned back against the seat, her eyes thoughtful. “You all played your hearts out. I think that’s all anyone can ask for. And you gave everything. I’ve watched you work, Kelley. It’s impressive.”
The praise hit Kelley harder than expected, and she bit her lip to keep the tears at bay. “I just... I don’t know. I’m so tired. Tired of giving everything and still falling short.”
“Yeah,” Emily said softly. “I get that.” She fell silent for a moment, her eyes distant as if she were searching for something. “But I don’t think this is the end. Not for you, and not for this team.”
Kelley couldn’t help but smile a little. “Always the optimist, huh?”
Emily shrugged, a small, teasing grin playing at the corners of her mouth. “What can I say? Someone has to be.”
Kelley laughed, and she let her eyes drift closed for a moment. The exhaustion was too much to fight anymore, and her head slowly leaned against Sonnett’s shoulder. She wasn’t sure if she was still listening to Emily or if she had fallen asleep in the midst of their conversation, but when she woke up, the bus was eerily quiet. Her body ached, and she had no idea how long she had been asleep. She rubbed her eyes, still trying to shake off the fog of sleep.
“Guess I’m out of it, huh?” Kelley mumbled, still half-asleep.
Emily chuckled softly. “You were out cold. I didn’t want to wake you. You needed it.”
Kelley gave a tired smile. “Thank you.” She yawned, realizing how much she had needed the rest. As the bus rolled toward the hotel, Kelley stretched, feeling the
stiffness in her muscles.
****
A month later, after the Olympics, Kelley was back in the grind with Sky Blue. The sting of the loss to Sweden hadn’t faded entirely, but it was easier to handle now. She was in a rhythm again, back with her teammates, focusing on the second half of the season, pushing the hurt to the back of her mind.
Still, there was one thing she couldn’t shake. The growing feeling that she wanted more time with Emily Sonnett.
When the off-season rolled around in November, Emily, Kelley, and Moe decided to hang out together since they were all in Atlanta. They played golf, ate great food, and spent hours talking and laughing about everything from soccer to life to weird random facts that Moe had memorized. They trained together, getting stronger and fitter for the next year.
And the more time Kelley spent with Emily, the more she realized that something was changing. The way Emily’s laugh echoed through the air when Moe cracked a joke, the way her smile lingered just a little longer when their eyes met, it was becoming impossible to ignore. Kelley found herself drawn to Emily in a way she hadn't anticipated.
One evening, after another round of golf under the fading Georgia sun, they sat at a patio table and Kelley had managed to avoid the thought of Emily's smile for most of the day, but now, as they sat around the fire pit, something shifted. Emily was telling a story about the time when she had completely botched a free kick during her first practise with her new team, Portland Thorns, and Kelley couldn’t help but admire the way Emily’s eyes lit up when she laughed at herself.
"I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so relaxed."
Emily leaned back in her chair, her gaze steady on Kelley. “I think that’s because when I’m around you and Moe, and Lindsey and the others, you make it easy to just... be myself, you know?”
There it was again. The way her eyes met Kelley’s with that quiet intensity. It made Kelley’s heart skip a beat. She tried to brush it off, telling herself it was nothing. They were just friends. Emily was way too young, she was basically still a kid to Kelley. But the way Sonnett spoke to her, the way she looked at her, was different. It made Kelley feel something.
Emily of course was oblivious to Kelley drooling over her, and she kept talking, her voice rising with excitement as she retold another story. But Moe wasn’t oblivious. She knew exactly how Kelley was feeling.
Later that night, as they walked back to their homes, Kelley and Moe left Emily and said their goodbyes after arranging another day to train together before Christmas.
"You know," Kelley spoke up as it was just them two walking down the sidewalk, her voice, "I think I’m starting to like her... more than I probably should."
Moe stopped walking, a smirk appearing on her face. "Funny," she said softly, "I was thinking the same thing. You’re not that hard to read, Kell."
Kelley sighed and Moe let out a snort as they carried on walking.