Chapter 9
Nessa accompanied Elphaba on the journey back to Shiz. She barely noticed the familiar paths and buildings as she followed Nessa, her heart pounding louder with each step. When they finally reached Crage Hall, Nessa stopped outside the door and gestured toward it.
“Here you go,” Nessa said. “Good luck.”
Elphaba nodded, her throat dry as she entered the building. She felt her heart beating faster with every step she took towards the room, until she finally stood outside the familiar door. She raised her hand to knock, hesitated for the briefest moment, and then let her knuckles rap against the wood.
There was a long pause. Elphaba’s chest tightened with every second that passed. And then, finally, the door opened.
Galinda stood there, her blonde curls perfectly in place despite the late hour, her eyes wide with surprise.
“Elphaba?” she said, her voice soft and uncertain.
“Hi,” Elphaba said, her own voice a little hoarse.
They stared at each other for a moment, the silence heavy between them. Finally, Galinda stepped aside, opening the door wider. “Do you…want to come in?”
Elphaba nodded, stepping into the dorm. The space was warm and impeccably neat, with soft pink and gold accents that felt undeniably Galinda.
“I didn’t get your letter,” Elphaba said, turning to face her.
Galinda blinked. “You didn’t?”
“No.” Elphaba hesitated, her hands fidgeting at her sides. “I’ve been…away. Nessa told me about it tonight.”
Galinda nodded slowly, her expression unreadable. “I thought you were ignoring me.”
“I wasn’t,” Elphaba said quickly. “I would never—” She stopped herself, taking a deep breath. “I just didn’t know.”
Galinda looked down, her hands twisting together nervously. “I wasn’t sure you’d want to talk to me anyway. After what happened at the Ozdust.”
Elphaba winced, the memory still fresh and raw. “I’m sorry about that. I shouldn’t have…reacted the way I did.”
Galinda glanced up at her, a flicker of surprise in her eyes. “You don’t have to apologize. I’m the one who ran away.”
They stood there in silence for a moment, the weight of unspoken words hanging heavily in the air. Finally, Elphaba stepped closer.
“Why did you write to me?” she asked, her voice soft.
Galinda hesitated, her cheeks flushing. “I wanted to talk. To explain.”
“Explain what?”
Galinda looked up at her, her eyes shining with something Elphaba couldn’t quite name. “That night…I wasn’t lying. When I said I didn’t want Fiyero. I wasn’t lying.”
Elphaba’s breath caught, her heart pounding in her chest. “Then what do you want?” she asked, her voice barely more than a whisper.
Galinda took a shaky breath, her hands trembling as she reached out to take Elphaba’s. “You,” she said softly. “I want you.”
For a moment, Elphaba couldn’t speak. She could only stare at Galinda, the weight of her words sinking in. And then, slowly, she tightened her grip on Galinda’s hands. Elphaba stared at their joined hands as though they might vanish if she looked away. Her chest felt impossibly tight, and her mind swirled with disbelief.
“You don’t mean that,” she said softly, her voice breaking. “You can’t mean that.”
Galinda’s smile faltered, her brows knitting together. “Elphaba…”
“No,” Elphaba interrupted, pulling her hands back and taking a step away. Her voice rose, though it was raw and trembling. “You don’t understand. People don’t…they don’t feel that way about me. They can’t. Not someone like you.”
“Someone like me?” Galinda repeated, her voice quiet but firm.
Elphaba shook her head, her arms wrapping protectively around herself. “You’re perfect, Galinda. You’re everything they expect, everything they love. And I’m…not. I never have been. All my life, people have looked at me and seen a problem to fix, an inconvenience, an eyesore. Not someone to love. Not someone to—”
“Stop,” Galinda said sharply, stepping forward. She reached out, grasping Elphaba’s arm and forcing her to look at her. “Stop saying those things about yourself.”
Elphaba hesitated, her dark eyes searching Galinda’s face for any trace of mockery or pity, but there was none. Only sincerity. Only pain.
“You think I don’t know what people expect of me?” Galinda asked, her voice trembling. “I’ve spent my whole life playing the part they’ve written for me. I know I’m supposed to marry someone like Fiyero. Someone handsome and charming, someone who will give me a perfect, easy life. I’m supposed to have children, to host parties, to be the perfect little housewife everyone expects me to be.”
Elphaba stared at her, her heart pounding as she listened.
“And for so long, I was fine with that,” Galinda continued, her voice softening. “I thought that was all there was for me. I thought that was what I wanted. Until…” She hesitated, her cheeks flushing. “Until I saw you.”
“Me?” Elphaba whispered, her voice barely audible.
Galinda nodded, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “That first night, outside the Ozdust. Do you remember? I could barely string a sentence together.”
Elphaba frowned, her brow furrowing. “You seemed like you didn’t want to be there,” she said slowly.
Galinda let out a soft, shaky laugh. “That’s because I was trying to leave.”
Elphaba blinked. “But, why?”
“Because I didn’t know what else to do,” Galinda admitted, her voice breaking. “I saw you perform, and suddenly everything I thought I knew about myself, about what I wanted, it all felt wrong. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. About the way you sang, the way you looked on that stage. It terrified me. I didn’t know how to handle it, so I left. Imagine the panic I felt when I ran into the exact person I was running from.”
Elphaba stared at her, her heart racing. She didn’t know what to say, couldn’t even begin to process the words Galinda was saying.
“And then,” Galinda continued, her voice soft but steady, “I couldn’t stop thinking about you. So I… I invited your band to play at the winter ball…an event that up until I decided to invite you to play, didn’t even exist.”
Elphaba frowned in confusion. “You made it up?”
Galinda nodded, a faint blush rising in her cheeks. “I created the entire thing just so I could see you again. I thought maybe if I saw you, it would…make the feelings go away. Or at least make sense of them. But it didn’t. It only made them stronger.”
Elphaba was silent, her mind reeling. She could hardly believe what she was hearing. Galinda—bright, beautiful, perfect Galinda—had done all of that for her?
“Do you understand now?” Galinda asked, her voice soft but earnest. She stepped closer, her hands trembling as she reached out to take Elphaba’s again. “This isn’t about expectations or what anyone else thinks. It’s not about Fiyero or anyone else. It’s about you. It’s always been about you.”
“And Elphaba,” Galinda continued, her eyes glistening with unshed tears, “I can’t imagine what it’s been like for you. Hearing what people say about you, all those cruel, thoughtless things. It must have been unbearable. But I need you to know, I don’t agree with any of it. Not a single word. I see the real you.” She reached up, her fingers brushing Elphaba’s cheek, tentative but tender. “And the real you is brilliant. You’re kind, and brave, and strong, and so much more than they’ll ever understand.”
Elphaba froze, her breath hitching as Galinda’s hand lingered on her cheek.
“And you’re beautiful,” Galinda said softly, her voice trembling with emotion.
A tear slipped down Elphaba’s cheek, and she quickly looked away, shaking her head. “You don’t have to say that.”
“I’m not saying it because I have to,” Galinda said firmly. “I’m saying it because it’s true. You’re beautiful, Elphaba. To me, you are.”
Elphaba’s heart ached, the warmth in Galinda’s voice wrapping around her like a balm. But still, doubt clung to her. “I don’t understand,” she whispered. “You could have anyone you want. Anyone. Why would you—”
“Because I’ve never felt this way about anyone,” Galinda interrupted, her voice breaking with raw honesty. “I’ve never thought about having a romantic relationship with a woman before, not once. And I don’t know what my Momsie and Popsicle will say. I don’t know if they’ll understand, and maybe I should care about that, but for the first time in my life…” She paused, her voice growing steadier. “For the first time, I don’t care what they’ll say. Because what I feel for you is bigger than all of that.”
Elphaba stared at her, her chest tight with longing and fear. “You don’t care now,” she said softly, her voice trembling, “but I don’t think you’re prepared for what they’ll say about us…about you. You don’t know what it’s like to be talked about, to be hated, to be seen as…as unnatural. They’ll whisper behind your back. They’ll say cruel things to your face. And it won’t stop.” Her voice cracked as she added, “They’ll hate you for being with me.”
Galinda’s gaze softened, and she stepped closer, her hands reaching out to clasp Elphaba’s again. “Elphaba, I’ve spent my whole life trying to make everyone love me, and I’ve done everything they’ve wanted, everything they’ve expected of me. But none of that made me happy. None of it made me feel the way you make me feel.” She squeezed Elphaba’s hands, her voice steady now. “So, let them talk. Let them say what they want. If being with you means I have to fight for it, then I’ll fight. I’m not afraid of them, Elphaba. Not anymore.”
Elphaba shook her head, her walls cracking further as Galinda’s words sank in. “How can you be so sure?” she whispered, her voice filled with disbelief.
Galinda smiled gently, her thumbs brushing over Elphaba’s knuckles. “Because I see you. I see you for who you are, and I think you’re incredible. And for once, I’m not afraid to stand up for something, someone, I believe in. I’m not afraid to stand by you.”
Elphaba hesitated, her mind racing. But as she looked into Galinda’s eyes, bright and unwavering, something in her began to shift. Slowly, tentatively, she reached out, taking Galinda’s face in her hands.
“You really mean all of that?” Elphaba asked, her voice trembling.
Galinda nodded, her lips curving into a soft, hopeful smile. “Every word.”
Elphaba let out a shaky breath, her heart pounding in her chest. “I’ve spent my whole life being told I’m impossible to love. That I don’t belong. But you…” She shook her head, her voice barely above a whisper. “You make me want to believe it could be different.”
Galinda’s smile widened, her chest heaving with emotion as she whispered, “It can be. I’ll show you, Elphaba. We’ll show them.”
Elphaba hesitated for a long moment, her breath mingling with Galinda’s as their faces hovered close. Her heart was pounding, her chest tight with anticipation and fear. Galinda’s gaze flickered to her lips, then back up to her eyes, and Elphaba felt her resolve falter.
Slowly, tentatively, Elphaba leaned in, brushing her lips against Galinda’s in the barest of touches. It was soft and uncertain, the kind of kiss born of inexperience and the weight of something far bigger than either of them could articulate. Galinda’s lips trembled against hers, and Elphaba froze, pulling back slightly.
“I’m sorry,” she murmured, her voice barely audible. “I—”
“Don’t be,” Galinda interrupted softly, her cheeks flushed. She reached out, brushing her fingers over Elphaba’s cheek. “I’ve never…kissed a girl before.”
Elphaba’s brow furrowed as she looked away, embarrassed. “I’ve never kissed anyone before.”
Galinda’s heart clenched at the vulnerability in Elphaba’s voice. Slowly, she smiled, her fingers tracing the edge of Elphaba’s jaw. “Then we’ll figure it out together,” she whispered.
They both leaned in this time, their lips meeting once more, tentative and unsure. Galinda’s hands rested lightly on Elphaba’s shoulders, and Elphaba’s fingers grazed Galinda’s waist, their touches almost hesitant. The kiss was soft, slow, and achingly careful, as if they were both afraid of doing it wrong, or of scaring the other away.
When they pulled back, their foreheads rested together, their breaths uneven. Galinda’s eyes searched Elphaba’s, her cheeks pink and her lips parted. “Are you okay?” she asked, her voice shaky but warm.
Elphaba nodded, her dark eyes flickering over Galinda’s face, searching for any sign of doubt or regret. “Are you?”
Galinda smiled, the corners of her mouth trembling. “Yes.”
That one word unlocked something between them. Elphaba’s hands tightened on Galinda’s waist, pulling her closer, and Galinda surged forward, her lips pressing against Elphaba’s with new determination.
This time, the kiss wasn’t tentative or soft. It was deeper, hungrier, filled with the desperation of feelings both of them had been suppressing for far too long. Galinda’s hands slid up into Elphaba’s hair, threading through the dark strands, while Elphaba’s arms wrapped around her, holding her as if she was the only solid thing in the world.
They lost themselves in each other, in the warmth and urgency of the kiss, the world around them fading into nothing. It wasn’t perfect, it was messy, but it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that they were finally here, finally together, finally letting themselves feel everything they had been too afraid to admit.
When they finally broke apart, both of them were breathing hard, their faces flushed. Galinda rested her forehead against Elphaba’s, her hands still tangled in her hair. She let out a soft, breathless laugh, but it was thick with emotion, trembling at the edges.
“Well,” she said, her voice light but full of warmth, “I think we’re getting the hang of this.”
Elphaba huffed out a quiet laugh, her eyes soft as she gazed at her. “I think so,” she murmured, though the disbelief lingered in her voice, as if she was still trying to convince herself this moment was real.
They stood there, holding each other, the weight of everything they’d just shared pressing down on them in a way that was both exhilarating and terrifying. For the first time in her life, Elphaba felt like someone truly saw her, truly wanted her, not despite who she was, but because of it. And for the first time, Galinda felt free of the crushing expectations that had shaped her life.
But as the world slowly began to creep back in, a heaviness settled between them. Elphaba glanced at the clock on the wall, her heart sinking as reality began to intrude. “I don’t want to leave,” she whispered, her voice barely audible, as if saying it any louder would make it true.
Galinda’s hands tightened, and her jaw tensed. “Then don’t,” she said, her voice rough and vulnerable all at once.
Elphaba smiled sadly, her fingers brushing gently against Galinda’s cheek. “You know I have to. But…” She hesitated, her heart aching as she searched Galinda’s face. “I’ll see you next week, when I play at the Ozdust. I can’t wait to see you again…to kiss you again.”
Galinda’s heart clenched at the thought of waiting so long to see her again, but she nodded. “I’ll be there”, she said quietly, her voice thick with emotion.
Elphaba’s eyes filled with tears, but she smiled, her fingers trailing down Galinda’s arms before reluctantly stepping back. “One week,” she said softly, as if she was promising herself as much as Galinda.
“One week,” Galinda echoed, her voice trembling as she tried to keep herself from reaching out again.
They stood there for a moment, the distance between them already feeling unbearable. Then, Elphaba leaned in one last time, pressing a lingering, tender kiss to Galinda’s lips. It wasn’t desperate or hurried, it was soft, full of quiet assurance and unspoken promises.
Her voice broke as she whispered, “Goodnight, Galinda.”
Galinda swallowed hard, her chest aching as she replied, “Goodnight, Elphaba.”
Before either of them could say anything more, there was a knock at the door.
“Elphaba!” came Nessa’s voice, louder and more insistent. “Your band is waiting! Are you coming or not?”
Elphaba exhaled shakily, her forehead still resting against Galinda’s for just one more stolen second. “I’ll be out in a minute,” she called back, her voice steady despite the storm of emotions churning inside her.
Galinda smiled, her fingers brushing over Elphaba’s one last time as she stepped back. “Go,” she said softly, though her eyes betrayed how much she didn’t want to let her go.
Elphaba lingered a moment longer, her hand slipping from Galinda’s as she finally moved toward the door. She opened it to find Nessa waiting with wide, eager eyes and an almost childlike grin on her face.
“Well?” Nessa asked excitedly, practically bouncing in her chair. “How did it go? Did you talk? What happened?” Her eyes darted past Elphaba toward the room, as if trying to catch a glimpse of Galinda.
Elphaba blinked, startled by Nessa’s enthusiasm, and for a moment, she didn’t know what to say. A small smile tugged at her lips despite herself, and she glanced back at the door as if she could still feel Galinda’s presence behind it.
“It went…” Elphaba paused, her voice soft with something unspoken and tender. “It went well.”
Nessa let out a delighted gasp, clasping her hands together. “Well? That’s all you’re going to say? Come on, Elphaba! Look at you…you’re smiling! You never smile like that!”
Elphaba’s cheeks flushed, but she didn’t try to hide her smile. “I’ll tell you later,” she said, her voice quieter now, but there was a spark in her eyes that Nessa hadn’t seen in years, if ever.
Nessa grinned from ear to ear, her joy practically radiating off her. “Fine, but you’d better! Oh, Elphaba, I’m so happy for you.”
Elphaba didn’t reply, but as she started down the hallway with Nessa following behind, her steps were lighter than they had been in years. And for the first time, Nessa realised, her sister looked truly at ease…hopeful, even.