Marriage Problems

Gideon Warrick rested his elbows on the ornate stone balustrade of the balcony. He then sank his chin into his hands to look down to the ground below. He heaved a forlorn sigh and then another. The invading army was at the castle gate, working hard to bash their way through the portcullis and get inside. Though he was several stories up in the highest tower of the castle, he made out the shapes of men, monsters, and beasts among the throng below. His romantic night of indulgent fantasy was now decidedly ruined.

What a picture-perfect night it had been up until then, too! The night sky was a sea of glittering diamonds, and the enormous harvest moon of autumn was lighting the forested hills of the countryside with breathtaking perfection. Why shouldn’t it be perfect? It was Gideon’s own painting, after all.

“Come back to bed my love-struck darling. Our bodies must again intertwine,” came the deep-voiced beckon of Gideon’s lover.

Gideon turned away from the balcony to gaze at the most picturesque sight of them all: his nameless lover. The man of Gideon’s dreams gazed back him languidly with his bright blue eyes from the enormous, luxurious bed they’d been sharing. His golden blonde hair framed a picture-perfect face, and his nude body was heavy with muscles. Lastly was the man’s most useful attribute: that dick. It slung like a horse's as it lay astride his leg still glistening from recent use.

Gideon gazed at the glory of his lover and heaved another forlorn sigh. The sound of the castle gate crashing open amid the roar of the invaders shattered what was left of the romantic aura.

“Alas, this beautiful painting is already besmirched. It was probably Lily who spoiled our next romp. She holds a grudge like no other,” Gideon said to the man, and then gave a negligent wave of his hand to make his lover to vanish.

Gideon walked over to the enormous mirror above the opulent mahogany dresser to ready himself for the upcoming confrontation. It was never wise to enter a fray while naked. He was on the thinner side, just as he preferred himself to be. He had the body of a runner, which was the lone physical passion of his since childhood. His Celtic heritage was plain in his ivory skin and his bright green eyes. His hair was a deep black and always kept short. He thought himself to be quite handsome and perfect in every visible attribute, but Gideon was admittedly vain so his own opinion was suspect.

With a vague gesture, he clothed himself in blue jeans, black canvas shoes, and a navy polo. He twisted around a few times to make sure the jeans were tight enough to show off his firm, round butt. It was strategic. Lily had told him repeatedly that his butt was nice to look at, so it would likely calm her down a bit if she spotted her favorite asset before the battle.

Right as Gideon was running his fingers through his hair to bring it to some sort of order, the bedroom door slammed open with a crash. A fanged beast covered in coarse fur jumped into the room with a roar of hunger and rage. It was the size of a gorilla and had furious red-yellow eyes.

“Not now,” Gideon said with a bored tone of voice. He waved the beast into nothingness right as it was about to sink its claws into his face. “Coming, my dear. Why so impatient?” he muttered. The smell of fire began to permeate the air. They were setting the castle ablaze.

Gideon made another gesture and the entire world bled its colors until the image was smeared.

***

Lily stood in the living room, seething with irritation. The large painting that hung suspended mid-air in their bedroom was quite explicit. Gideon and his lover were entwined under the moonlight of some forested glade with a grand, majestic castle in the distant background. Her lip twisted in a sneer as she glared at the depiction.

Her arms were crossed over her chest, but her right hand flicked this way and that in the painting’s direction. Flick! There was an army at the castle gates. Flick! The castle towers were on fire. Flick! The portcullis was split open. Flick by flick she ruined the painting.

If Lily could have murdered Gideon she would have done so long ago. Politics made that difficult, if not impossible. Killing him in one of his fantasies would have been better, but that was problematic as well. Gideon’s fantasies were far too impervious. She could only instigate tiny changes from the outside, and it was easy enough for him to undo her changes from within if they became too threatening.

Flick, flick, flick. Lily slowly but surely corrupted the painting until the colors bled and the depiction smeared. Soon the entire canvas twisted in on itself and then the object of her ire stood in it’s place. He arrived facing away from her and his jeans were tight. His ass was just right there. He had numerous faults, but by God did Gideon have a nice ass. Lily’s eyes settled on it without her telling them to.

“Hullo, my dear!” Gideon chirped as he spun about and faced her.

With Gideon’s ass no longer in view, Lily’s disdain returned. She sneered and quirked an eyebrow at him. “Are you not even going to pretend?” she demanded.

“Pretend at what? I just needed some inspiration, that’s all. Want to try tonight? Just give me an hour or two…” Gideon replied in a smooth voice. He looked around at their sterile bedroom and frowned at the bed. Easier said than done.

Lily made a disgusted sound and rolled her eyes. “No. I’m done with this. I’m done with you!” she snapped.

Gideon made a troubled face but then his expression brightened just as quickly. “Did you get your hair done? You look incredible!” he gushed. Lily was quite beautiful. She had a perfect body, luxurious brown hair and liquid brown eyes. Her skin tone always floated somewhere between tan and untanned, and she had the face of Cleopatra. The Elizabeth Taylor version.

Lily reached up and ran her hand through her own hair. “Yes, I did! It’s a new stylist, but...don’t change the subject!” she reacted, feeling more than annoyed. Gideon always noticed when she changed things up. He was perfect in that way. It was beyond frustrating.

“It looks good. That’s all,” Gideon mumbled, looking cute and chastised as he shrugged.

Lily regarded him before she spoke. Where her heart had once melted at his peccadilloes, she now only found it full of ice. Mostly. “I’m done,” she informed him again, sounding less than a hundred percent certain.

Gideon frowned. “What do you mean? We can't be done! They won’t allow it. Stop being so disagreeable, and fetch a few of the toys. Perhaps this time it can help?” he replied.

“I don’t care anymore, Gideon. I don’t care if I never have a child, nor do I care whether or not it’s born as a natural tenth circle. I want out and I want to move on with my life. I’ll manage our families. I might even be able to convince the Warricks to name me their heir in the aftermath. We’ll all share the grief when your tragic moment comes,” Lily responded. She then smirked in a particularly evil manner before she turned on her heel and left the room. The sound of their mansion’s front door slamming shook the entire home.

Gideon bit his lip and muttered: “Oh dear.” He needed to flee. Something was different. Lily sounded as though she were going to try to have him killed with true sincerity this time.

***

Lily wasted no time making her first murder attempt. In fact, the assassins entered the mansion just as Gideon was coming down the stairs with his luggage.

“Hullo,” Gideon greeted the thugs with a cheerful smile.

“Die,” one of them growled as the two assassins moved towards him.

Gideon enojyed men in general, so having two muscle-bound lads burst through the front door was a basic plus. Lily also loved to craft shimmering male armor that was a tad distasteful. It had been a fantasy that she and Gideon had once bonded over years ago, in fact. Thus both murderous thralls had scant silver armor which somehow amounted to a metal speedo with nothing else beyond a metal collar. The cod pieces were both bulging with intent. It was obscene. They also wore helmets that covered everything about their heads save for their chiseled jawlines. Anonymity was the point.

Gideon scowled. It was a clear trap. He’d once drunkenly confessed to Lily that if he were forced to choose the manner of his own death, it would be done by being ravaged by a pair of muscle-bound thugs wearing sexy armor. “That was supposed to be a secret between us, my dear,” he muttered to himself as his assailants advanced.

“Mistress Lilith wants you dead,” one of the glorious assassins said to Gideon.

“You don’t know the half of it,” Gideon replied with an eye roll.

One of the thugs lunged, but Gideon was ready. A flick of his wrist put that man into a drifting painting of Moses parting of the Red Sea. Gideon had no recollection of whom the original artist had been; it was just something he’d happened upon one bored evening perusing the internet. Did it matter that the Red Sea could not be parted by a random thug (no matter how sexy?) Yes. Gideon assumed the lad would somehow figure things out upon his arrival.

The other thug glanced from the painting that tumbled from the air where his partner had been to his assassination target and then back again.

“You have a lovely jawline. Would you take off that helmet for a moment so I can see the rest?” Gideon requested.

“What did you do to Fred?” the thug demanded.

“I sent him on a bible study. Do you like religion or whatever? I’ve never been a fan myself,” Gideon replied as he smiled and took a step forward.

“Uh…?” the other thug blurted. He seemed far less confident than when he’d entered the mansion foyer. He pulled a gun from his metal speedo...somehow.

“For me!?” Gideon gushed with a delighted grin. The thug’s gun had somehow become a bouquet of red roses.

The thug gawked at his own hand for a second, before glancing back up at his dance partner. Yes: dance partner. The thug’s armor had become a tuxedo...somehow? With his helmet gone, Gideon could now see that this thug was actually quite good-looking in a rugged manner. He had sandy blonde hair, blue eyes, blonde stubble, and a handsome face that was angular in a way that indicated strength training. The thug raised his other hand into a fist to punch Gideon. That fist became clasped fingers as their hands met...somehow. Top Hat with Fred Astaire began playing from nowhere and everywhere all at once.

“Lily has such fantastic taste, you know,” Gideon mused as he and his would-be assassin twirled in the foyer of the mansion.

“I'm here to kill you! What the fuck is happening!?” the thug barked as he tried (and failed) to shake his hand free of Gideon’s. He then tried to toss away the bouquet of roses, but (somehow) just sort of handed them to Gideon.

Gideon accepted the roses with a delighted yet brainless grin. He sniffed them.

“What the fuck is going on!?” the thug demanded again, sounding rather hysterical as they performed another elaborate twirl together.

“Destiny or something, to be sure. Forget that. Can I ask a direct question: what are you packing? I have a rather elusive inner button. Would you mind dropping those trousers so I can have a look at the merchandise?” Gideon requested with a shocking lack of decency. The thug and he shared another dance-floor twirl.

“WHAT!?” the thug was now fully bewildered. He kept dancing though.

“Give me an eyeful. Show me the budgie. Is this really so mysterious? Men are usually appreciative of direct requests. That’s why I love men so much. Women are wonderful as well, but then they all seem to want miles and miles of foreplay and courtship before the first fuck. Bah! Who has time for that? Show me your dick, stud. Have no fear if you think you’re below the average somehow, because I also love a good set of swinging testicles. These muscles and that beautiful face already put you near an eight or a nine out of ten as it is,” Gideon replied with zero tact or irony.

The thug made a few choking noises. “What the hell is wrong with you!? I’m not doing any of that! Why...why isn’t my body doing what I want it to!?” he then demanded, his voice rising an octave in panic. They performed another elaborate twirl along with a romantic dip.

“Because your body knows better. What’s your name, you handsome cutthroat?” Gideon answered as they entwined arms. Their faces drew closer together.

The thug looked thoroughly disgusted, despite his physical actions. He opened his mouth to reply, but then a team of five more assailants wearing indecent armor entered through the mansion’s front door.

“Traitor! You were sent to do as the mistress demanded! Instead we find you courting the target!” the largest of the five growled as they strode into the foyer.

“It’s not what it looks like!” the thug who now cradled Gideon in his arms protested. Indeed, he now had his arms wrapped around Gideon who was nestled into his chest with a broad smile on his lips.

“Open fire! Kill them!” the large one said in response. Rat-a-tat-tat. A hail of gunfire erupted. The bullets were also somehow cocoons of butterflies. Dozens of brightly colored butterflies soon shrouded Gideon and his thug dancing partner.

“It’s all so perfect!” Gideon crooned as the thug held him even closer without wanting to. Without breaking a smile, he made a swiping gesture at the five assassins who then instantly became replaced with a single painting: Munch’s Scream.

“What did you do to them!? What kind of demon are you!?” the thug demanded in utter horror. His wide blue eyes traced the painting as it tumbled to the floor with a quiet clatter.

“Who cares? Tell me your name, Mr Handsome,” Gideon responded as he unwound himself from the man’s broad arms and turned so that the could be face-to-face.

“Brian,” the thug answered. He replied as if not really paying attention. His horrified eyes were still staring at the Scream painting.

“Brian,” Gideon breathed the name as if it smelled like freshly baked bread. He fluttered his eyes for a moment and then scrabbled to unbutton and unzip Brian’s tuxedo pants.

“What are you doing!? Stop that!” Brian protested as he jumped backwards and swatted Gideon’s hands away.

“What do you mean? We agreed that you would show me your bits. I have requirements, you see. It’s all completely out of our control,” Gideon replied, sounding equally indignant.

“You’re some kind of an insane pervert!” Brian declared after a second or two of silent disbelief.

Gideon had a reply at the ready, but then his Scream painting wavered and rattled on the floor. A moment later, and the five assassins were once more present, but they looked anything but human. Their bodies had shifted into strange, but humanoid configurations, while their heads were all animal. One was a cat, one was a bird, two were dolphins, and the other was an owl.

Brian managed to look even more horrified. He released Gideon and took a step back from all of them. “What the fuck!?” he asked nobody in a hoarse whisper.

“Lily’s lowmen,” Gideon hissed through a sneer.

“The Warrick line is ended. You just haven’t gotten the message,” the owl told Gideon in a strange, warbling sort of voice. It now held something like a gun which was silver and decidedly circular in its alien likeness. It was like a coiled snake made from metal.

“Ended!? Lily still uses my last name. No, no. We’re a simple husband and wife having a little disagreement, that’s all,” Gideon replied, earning a confused murmur from the lowmen. Without waiting for their physical response, he gestured again and the five lowmen became replaced with The Old Guitarist by Picasso, which fell right to the floor.

“What the fuck!?” Brian squeaked. He managed to appear even more horrified by some miracle.

Gideon glanced at him. “Lowmen have a major weakness: Cubism. If they manage to break out at all, it will take months or perhaps years. Listen, do you want to come with me? Lily has zero tolerance for failure. She’ll kill you if you show up without my head in your hands. We could spend some time together. You never know where things might end up,” he offered with a hopeful smile.

Brian looked at Gideon as if his head were on backwards. “I was hired to kill you,” he growled.

Gideon shrugged. “So was the last hitman. I just couldn’t handle his mommy issues, though,” he replied with an eye roll.

Brian gawped. “You’re bat-shit! Also: I’m not interested in men. At all,” he responded. He then shook his head, causing the fancy top hat he’d been wearing to tumble to the floor. “This is a nightmare. What the fuck is this painting shit!? She didn’t mention any of this!” He then gestured at the other painting where his thug partner remained trapped.

Gideon frowned. “Really? You were wearing her fantasy armor when you walked in. It was nearly pornographic. How did you come to be wearing it?” he asked.

Brian blinked at him. “What armor?” he asked, looking quite dumbfounded.

Gideon gestured as if his whole point had just been proven. “Precisely. Lily has a way with men. I really meant it when I said that we should leave. Come with me, please Brian? I don’t really care what size you are inside those pants. I could stare into those eyes of yours for hours,” he said. Without waiting for an answer, he picked up both of the paintings and lobbed them one-by-one through the front door like a Frisbee. He shut the door right after.

“Why won’t my arms move?” Brian demanded.

“You’re mesmerized by my exquisite ass,” Gideon responded. He faced away from Brian at that moment, so he shook his money maker for emphasis.

Brian growled something and made a face as if struggling to move at all. His body simply wouldn’t obey.

“Let’s see. Amsterdam? London? Prague? Milan?” Gideon muttered a list of cities with a frown on his face. He tapped his chin as if deciding.

“Let me go!” Brian demanded.

“Hush now. I need to think before the next wave of assassins arrives to try to off us. Actually, do you have a preference for a major city? Vancouver has been lovely, but I’d rather be able to sleep in peace in your muscular arms tonight,” Gideon asked as he turned to fix Brian with an attentive look.

“I’m going to fucking murder you, you nutcase asshole!” Brian shouted, his face going red. He strained to move once more, but failed.

“Prague it is!” Gideon chirped with a bright smile on his face. He turned around, touched the front door at specific points and then ran his fingers along its lines and curves. A funny thing then happened: the door and its frame acquired an odd ‘hand-drawn’ appearance.

“What the…?” Brian began to ask, but then his voice stuck in surprise as Gideon flung open the front door to reveal a landscape utterly changed from what had previously been the manicured grounds of the mansion. Beyond the front door was some random, bustling street presumably in the city of Prague. The road was narrow and paved with cobblestone. The buildings were Baroque or classic in European architecture. Shops and cafes lined the boulevard swarming with locals and tourists alike.

“It’s been a while since I visited this great city. Come along, lover!” Gideon said, gesturing to Brian with a cheerful smile on his face.

Brian grimaced as his body moved on its own, carrying him forward until he and Gideon were arm-in-arm before they strode right through the door and out onto the sidewalk beyond. The door closed behind them. Their arrival seemed to place them at the front entrance of an Italian restaurant, complete with outdoor seating full of munching patrons.

“Thank you!” a waitress called to them, offering a friendly wave as if they were departing customers.

“Thank you! It was delicious!” Gideon replied with an easy grin. He led Brian and himself away from the restaurant and they took on a leisurely stroll. Gideon hummed a tune to himself.

After convincing himself that he’d not entered into a nightmare world somehow, Brian managed to find his voice. “If I promise not to murder you, will you stop whatever you’re doing to control my body?” he managed.

“Murder me? You couldn’t if I wanted you to. No, that’s not how any of this works, you beautiful man. A Warrick doesn’t get to just die. No, that would be too out of control. The family would never allow it,” Gideon answered with tsk-tsk.

“This is humiliating. Please stop,” Brian pleaded.

Gideon heaved a sigh. “I’ll do it if you kiss me,” he offered with a mischievous smile.

Brian’s eyes flared. “I told you: I’m not interested in another man. Look, I’m sorry that I took the contract on your life. Let me go and I’ll just leave and forget about all of this bizarre shit you’ve been doing. That bitch only gave us half the cash anyways, and nobody would believe a word of this as it is,” he added.

Gideon frowned. “What do you mean that you’re not interested in men? Of course, you are!” he shot back. He didn’t bother to address the rest of the statement.

Brian ground his teeth and tried again. “No, I’m not. I have a wife,” he reiterated. It was becoming obvious that Gideon had no intention of changing the topic until this one issue was resolved.

“Lies. You’re homosexual and you’re single. Perhaps you’ve never experimented, but I have no doubt that there’s a part of you you’ve been ignoring since puberty,” Gideon explained Brian to himself. He even snorted before rolling his eyes.

Brian gawped at him for a moment before demanding: “Are you just insane? What is it with you?”

Gideon waved him off. “Lily wouldn’t hire just any assassin to kill me. They’re always either fully homosexual or otherwise questioning. It’s meant to be a trap, you see. That’s why you and your fellow cutthroat were both so gloriously handsome, too. She would never waste either of our times with unattractive heterosexual assassins. Especially not one with a wife attached. It’s sweet of her in a way. Nobody else in my life has put nearly as much effort into setting me up with a blind date. She’s not just my wife, she’s my best friend as well,” he said, sounding wistful.

Brian could only blink at him with disbelief.

“I’ll be gentle if it's your first time,” Gideon offered with a smile.

Brian clenched his jaw and refused to respond. He stared off at nothing.

Gideon quirked his eyebrows. “No refutation? No denial? Lily has a way with men, like I said. You probably didn’t even realize you’d confessed such things during the interview,” he mentioned and then: “You don’t have a wife, do you?”

Brian clenched his jaw again. “No,” he admitted while still looking away.

Gideon gestured as if to say: ‘I had no doubt!’

Brian’s eyes once more focused on Gideon. “You wouldn’t be my first time,” he also admitted.

Gideon managed to look astonished. “Are you being serious?” he asked.

Brian clenched his jaw once more (an act that made his chin look even more chiseled) before he began, “I had a friend in high school...”

Gideon blinked and looked even more astonished. “I like where this is going,” he muttered.

“We experimented. Once or twice,” Brian finished with no further detail.

Gideon eyed him. “You’re the one who instigated it, aren’t you?” he ventured.

The assassin nodded.

“Was that really so hard to admit?” Gideon asked and then he made a negligent wave of his hand at Brian, who immediately reacted with a stumble as if having invisible restraints suddenly cut. He also then winked once before just walking away, leaving the assassin on his own.

“You look beyond handsome in a tuxedo, by the way. Sorry for being obnoxious in my earlier temptations. That isn’t me. It was a show for Lily. She always watches the attempts on my life for the thrills. Pleasant trails. You’re free to go, you know. I also recommend that you don’t attempt to collect the rest of the bounty. She will kill you if you do. It was nice to meet you,” Gideon threw over his shoulder as he headed down the sidewalk.

Brian watched him go with a whirlwind of emotion. After only a few seconds he lurched forward down the sidewalk and grabbed Gideon by the arm. “Don’t just ditch me! I don’t know where I am. I left the USA heading into Canada just a few hours ago. Do you realize what the authorities would find if they looked into why I’m here?” he complained,

Gideon regarded him and the hand touching his arm. “What do you want me to do? You crossed those borders to kill me. That just isn’t my problem, Brian. Go find the embassy and tell them that you were robbed or something. I don’t care. That whole situation is ancient Vancouver history. I’m on the Prague path now,” he replied. He also jostled his arm out of Brian’s grasp while doing so, and then kept walking. Soon thereafter, Gideon strode past a candle store and then uttered a single cry of delight as he stepped inside to sniff the offerings.

Gideon eyed Brian again as the assassin entered the candle store right behind him. “Why are you still here? I know I was being ridiculous earlier. Your mistress really was listening. My words were all for Lily’s benefit. Do you see? It was a performance when I said that I wanted to see your genitals. Those lurid moments are her favorite scenes. Show's over. Go!” he said and made a shooing gesture.

Brian scowled at first, but then he pursed his lips. “Your marriage is fucked up,” he noted.

Gideon shrugged and nodded in agreement, but made no other comment.

“I don’t know how I could sleep at night unless someone explained to me what this whole bat-shit crazy situation was all about. Could you do that at least?” Brian asked.

Gideon looked Brian up and down with no expression of desire at all. “Maybe. I don’t think it’s worth it. You can forget it all or not. I really don’t care. Sorry for leading you on. I’ll grant you a few seconds to convince me that you belong in my story or you can just leave,” he challenged. Without waiting, Gideon once more began to march out of the candle store and back into into the streets of Prague by himself.

“Wait!” Brian cried as he jogged after him and once more snatched Gideon by the arm.

Gideon sighed very patiently as he turned when Brian grabbed him. He said nothing as he waited for whatever question might come at him.

In the moment of Gideon’s compliance, Brian needed to spend a few seconds to consider what exactly he wanted to know. After a second or two of consideration, he asked: “What is this thing or power that you can do?”

Gideon’s face brightened into a sudden smile. “Sorcery! I have the fortune of being a member of the most powerful sorcery bloodline in existence. I hit circle ten by the time I was six. I should be higher, but the scale only goes to ten. I don’t know why. Old people reasons, I suppose,” he answered.

Brian blinked and then asked: “You’re saying that it’s all magic!?”

Gideon shrugged. “I guess?” he put forth.

Brian made an immediate tired sound as he rubbed his eyes. “What the fuck nightmare am I trapped in?” he muttered.

Gideon scoffed and then rolled his eyes. “Some mad nightmare, to be certain. Listen...we can have mind-blowing sex or you can just go away. I really don’t care what you pick, but I will say that I am feeling a bit impatient. In a way, I guess that it means that I do care. Just choose to go back to a world of banal ignorance, or choose to plumb my innards with your throbbing whatever. One way or another I just want to go to bed at some point. I’m always horny, but I’m also tired. Pick one or the other. Don’t expect a regular thing, though. I need to be in a different city by tomorrow evening,” he declared as he put his hands on his hips.

Brian looked him up and down once before answering: “I’ll fuck you until you get pregnant, you little boy-bitch.” He then gasped in shock and covered his own mouth with his hand as if not expecting to hear himself say such a thing.

Gideon perked up. “Oh dear she’s already found us! I guess I’ll make the best of it. You have a deal, Brian! Oh...I mean: but I’m not on birth control, daddy,” he replied in a suddenly meek voice.

Brian rushed him, grappled him, and then a second later they were on a bed...somehow. The game was afoot immediately, despite the fact that they were standing on a sidewalk not even twenty seconds earlier.

***

“We need to wake up,” Gideon suggested.

Brian groaned. His legs were twined around Gideon’s hips as the other man played little spoon...they were also somehow still coupled. Brian tried to respond, but then another orgasm took him. He saw stars and lights and then darkness.

“We need to wake up,” Gideon reiterated.

“Huh?” Brian murmured, but then an immediate orgasm struck him. His member was inside someone or something. Brian passed out once more.

“We need to wake up!” Gideon pressed him with true urgency.

Brian ejaculated all over his own stomach right as he woke up.

Gideon let out a loud huff. “That was a waste. Come on! Get up. I’m going to give birth any minute now to what feels like quadruplets and while the fantasy was fun, I’d much rather not experience the finale,” he said.

Brian snapped his eyes open and to his horror, Gideon truly appeared to be a man who was not only pregnant, but also about ready to pop. “What the fuck!?” Brian shrieked and snapped upright from the bed.

In a swift motion, Gideon yanked away the sheets and began furling them into the air.

All of the colors of the world began to bleed together.

***

Brian was once more standing on the sidewalk somewhere in Prague. His tuxedo had been replaced with casual jeans, a white t-shirt that read ‘Proud Father of Quadruplets’ as well as plain white canvas shoes. Gideon was already far ahead and walking away as Brian snapped out of his state of confusion. He ran to catch up to the sorcerer. “Hey! I need...I need help. I think I’m going crazy,” he stuttered as Gideon looked at him. Brian had grabbed the other’s arm once more.

Gideon eyed the other man’s grip on his arm before he looked into Brian’s eyes. “Help? What sort of help? I can send you wherever. I can also make you forget or remember. Lily is not as good at sorcery as I am. That’s a part of why she plays these dominance games with me. It makes her feel strong,” he said before turning on Brian fully. “Where do you want to go? When do you want to go? I’ll put you whenever you want. Fifth grade? Ninth grade? Junior year of college? You’ll arrive with the fullest wisdom of your age in order to conquer your own future. It’ll take a hot second to put you on the path, and I really don’t give a fuck where you go from there. Just come out with it. Despite our frolicking, I really have no patience for a closet case,” he said.

Brian paused and scowled at Gideon. “Why do you sound so different?” he asked.

Gideon laughed. “Why am I not still worshiping your enormous, pretend-hetero dick? Isn’t that what you meant to ask? Because, that’s why. Fuck off back to wherever Lily lifted your rock. I’ve got longer, harder, thicker fish to fry who are all also proud about it, Brian,” he replied, stating the name with true disdain. Once more, Gideon then strode away without waiting for another response.

For the n’th time so far Brian was just speechless. Nothing about what was happening made any sense. They’d spent a full night fucking relentlessly until Gideon became literally pregnant, but now it was as if none of it had even happened. He ran to catch up to him again. Gideon heaved the biggest sigh yet when Brian also once again stopped him by grabbing his arm.

“It’s always the closeted ones who cling hardest,” Gideon muttered as they once more faced each other.

“You don’t have to be such a jerk about this. You got me to admit my deepest secret. Isn’t that enough? Anyways, you’re the one who’s married to a woman!” Brian sputtered.

“Being homosexual is a deeper secret than being a cutthroat? That’s a new one. You told me that you had a wife, remember? Only one of us lied about it. Is this really such a mystery? I’m bisexual. We do exist! Lily has just as much fun sending a brutal dominatrix to pounce me in an alley as she does surrounding me with horny, handsome cutthroats like yourself. Trust me, you can’t possibly understand our relationship. Nobody does,” Gideon told him and then folded his arms.

Brian stared at him. “So this whole crazy thing was just to role play a kink for the two of you?” he asked in disbelief.

“I suppose I could write it in the sky if you needed it to be made clearer,” Gideon answered.

“I find out that magic exists, but it’s being used for...for…” Brian stammered and struggled.

“Pornography? Is it so surprising? If you could make your fantasy come to life, what would you do? The first fantasy everyone starts with is a sexual one,” Gideon put it to him.

“End hunger? Cure disease?” Brian ventured.

Gideon rolled his eyes. “Pff! People prefer to have problems to bitch about, trust me. We’ve tried to be the angels everyone says they want, and it was endless complaints all the way down to demanding that we make earwax optional. It’s far more fun to stir up drama and fuck each other instead,” he replied. He glanced at their surroundings and then broke into a grin. “Look over there,” he said and then pointed across the boulevard to a cafe where a dozen or so patrons were sipping coffee or having lunch.

One woman was chatting with her friend or sister perhaps, and right as she was lifting the mug of whatever to her lips the bowl of the cup and the handle she was carrying it with just separated. She let out a yelp of shock as the drink fell right to the table and spilled everywhere with a clatter.

Gideon burst into a delighted chuckle. “Hilarious!” he proclaimed before he turned and once more started walking.

Brian blinked once at the minor chaos of the cafe scene before he moved to follow Gideon again. “You’re an asshole,” he declared.

“I’ve been called worse,” Gideon replied with a shrug.

“Don’t you feel bad about that?” Brian asked.

“A hired thug wants to know if I feel bad for spilling some tea? Now that’s comedy!” Gideon retorted with more chuckling.

“I’m not a thug. I’m an army vet with a job. I really needed the money from this, too. In my defense, your wife said it was a body guard gig. She never said anything about killing someone,” Brian told him.

Gideon threw a side-eye at him, but didn’t respond.

“Hey, wait a minute! I’m remembering everything. That is what she told me! She tricked me into being an assassin!” Brian said with a rising sense of outrage.

“Oh, look! He’s more than a pretty face and a big cock. He’s got some brains in there, too,” Gideon observed.

“You people are sick!” Brian accused him.

“Once more, I’ve been called worse,” Gideon replied with another bland shrug.

“I’m going to tell everyone about you!” Brian threatened.

Gideon chuckled. “Good luck with that. Just think about the story so far and listen to yourself saying it. I won’t be breaking you out of the asylum, just so you know,” he replied.

Brian went silent as he tried to think of what he should do next. Too many bizarre things had happened in the past twenty-four hours for his to brain to work straight. It was a full minute or more before he realized something. “Where are we going?” he asked.

“A tour of The National Gallery. I could use some inspiration for my next masterpiece,” Gideon replied.

“I thought you said that psycho wife of yours had found us here?” Brian noted.

“She has. I do look forward to the next interlude, but she’s likely still sleeping off the fun we had last night. Having another man drill me until I’m broken and pregnant is her favorite filthy fantasy,” he explained. He gazed up at the cloudless sky and smiled. “It really is a nice day out. It’s usually colder here this time of year,” he mused.

Brian gawped at the man he was walking next to and then he looked down at the t-shirt he was wearing. ‘Proud Father of Quadruplets’ he read it again and just started laughing hysterically.

Gideon threw him a puzzled expression, but otherwise made no comment. Brian eventually stopped laughing until they were once again walking in silence.

“Why are you following me?” Gideon eventually asked.

“Because I’m in Prague without a wallet, phone, or a passport. I need a ride home and that’s you,” Brian replied.

Gideon grunted and held out both hands. He made a flourish as if he were performing a party trick and then produced each of the specified items one after the other. “Phone…” he announced as he handed it over. “...wallet...and p-p-p-passport.” He handed those over as well. "There! Good day to you."

Brian was stunned silent as he took them one after the other. He stared at the objects in his hands and then asked: “You can just pull stuff from nothing?” The phone was even charged. He pocketed everything.

“Sometimes, but these are not from nothing. They existed somewhere in the world, didn’t they? Now they exist here instead,” Gideon answered.

They kept walking. “You’re still following me,” Gideon pointed out as he eyed the blonde man at his side.

“I’m in the country illegally. I need a ride home,” Brian answered.

“I’m not going home anytime soon,” Gideon told him.

“Then I’m going with you until you do,” Brian insisted.

“That’s not how this works. The fantasy is over. You got the t-shirt and now you need to leave,” Gideon said.

“Maybe for you it’s over,” Brian shot back.

Gideon, despite having incredible sorcerous powers, did something unexpectedly mundane: he ran off. He was fast, too. It took Brian a second or two to realize that Gideon was making real progress in leaving him behind before he took off in pursuit. They received plenty of odd looks from passersby as the chase continued through the alleys and boulevards all the way to the part of Prague called Old Town. Gideon came to a halt in front of a very old looking series of iron gates guarding a building surrounded in part by a tall stone wall. He looked quite pissed to see Brian pumping his arms and legs for all he was worth in rapid approach.

“There’s nothing worse than a one-night stand who refuses to get out bed and go home,” Gideon told him as Brian arrived and then bent forward with his hands on his knees to huff it out. Gideon hadn’t even broken a sweat.

Brian held up one finger to indicate that his response might take a while to arrive.

Gideon made a sound of disgust. “Maybe try some aerobics instead of hitting the weights so much,” he suggested before he just turned and headed through the gates. Brian coughed and stumbled through after him.

Beyond the gate were a series of buildings, as well as a clear church or chapel all built in the Gothic style of architecture. There was a large sculpture of what looked like wiry men in a grassy courtyard, and ivy covered a few of the gray stone walls of the buildings.

“What the hell is this? A church?” Brian blurted as he came up next to Gideon and caught his breath back.

Gideon had been scanning the buildings with a frown on his face as his pursuer approached. When Brian spoke, he heaved a dramatic sigh and rolled his eyes before responding: “This is the Convent of St Agnes of Bohemia, you troglodyte. It has the largest collection of medieval art in the country. If you’re going make yourself a nuisance that follows me everywhere, at least have a look and do try to get some culture. Just stay away from the lowmen my wife sent here a moment ago.”

“What!? Those freaky animal guys are here?” Brian asked with alarm. He then flinched as if hearing the rest on a delay. “Geez, why do you gotta be so insulting all the time? I’ve been to museums before,” he protested.

Gideon rounded on him. “I told you: you’re a one night stand who won’t leave when he’s been asked to. That’s why I’m being insulting. You see? I’m a nasty person, Brian. Doesn’t that make you want to go and be someplace else?” he snapped and put his hands on his hips.

“Yes, I want to be someplace else: home. Anyways, you and your crazy wife made me a one night stand, remember? It’s not like I had a choice!” Brian snapped right back.

Gideon opened his mouth as if to respond, but then he glanced over Brian’s shoulder and made a tired sound instead.

“Did you think you could run?” a deep voice demanded from behind Brian.

Brian turned to see three gorgeous male models wearing the most obscene armor imaginable striding right up to them. If you could call it armor, that is. They each held a curious curved object in their hands.

Brian backed away, but he couldn’t help but gawk at the approaching men with disbelief. “Are these strippers? This is the most perverted assassination I’ve ever witnessed,” he declared.

“They’re lowmen, not strippers. You approached me wearing the same outfit,” Gideon answered as he stepped forward. “Put those weapons down, you imbeciles. We’re on sacred ground. You know the rules,” he challenged them.

“I wore that!?” Brian asked in shock.

The lowman with the largest pectorals and most voluminous codpiece stepped forward as well. “Sacred? Since when do the Warricks care about Christian myths?” he shot right back.

Gideon once more heaved a sigh and rolled his eyes. “I’m surrounded by cavemen,” he muttered at the sky before he continued. “This is a part of the National Gallery. The largest collection of medieval art in the country is on display here. It’s thus sacred ground by law. Now shoo! Wait for us outside if you must, you prancing hussies!” he told them, adding a shooing motion to punctuate his words.

The lowmen turned to one another as if conferring. They each shot a dark look at Gideon and Brian, and then left, heading for the gate he and Brian had just entered from.

They weren’t the only people at the convent. It was something of a tourist attraction, but as far as anybody else was concerned, the three half-naked assassins seemed not noteworthy.

Brian noticed this right away. “How is no one reacting to the way they’re dressed?” he asked.

Gideon eyed the departing men. “Mundane people ignore lowmen. That’s what makes them fantastic assassins,” he answered and then started walking towards what seemed to be the entrance to the main exhibit. Brian followed. “Well, you missed your opportunity to escape by being so clingy. They’ll kill you if you leave the grounds, so you might as well come with me,” he then said, sounding thoroughly annoyed.

“Why would they kill me? Wait a moment! How is it that I can see them? Why don’t they have bird heads?” Brian asked in a litany as he moved to follow the man.

“It’s like being followed by a toddler,” Gideon muttered and then he replied: “They’ll kill you because you refused to leave when I told you to. See what I was trying to save you from? They now assume that you matter, even though you don’t. Why can you see them unlike the other mundanes? You participated in Lily’s fantasy, so you’re now cognizant of them. Their true state remaining hidden is far more complicated than all of that, and I refuse to explain further.” They then entered the building. There was a ticket taker at the entrance who seemed to be fully ignorant of their entrance, as he checked all others but pretended as if Brian and Gideon didn’t exist as they waltzed right in.

Inside the first building were several paintings displayed on panes of glass that were sticking out perpendicular to the stone walls, seemingly to increase the number of paintings that could otherwise go on display.

Gideon stopped amid the paintings with a broad smile on his face and his hands on his hips. “I love the smell of a museum!” he proclaimed.

Brian sneezed.

Gideon glared at him for a moment before heading for the first painting to inspect it with an odd degree of circumspection. He was peering it from many angles, including the sides of the frame.

Brian wiped his nose on the front of his shirt and then ambled over to look at the painting that Gideon was inspecting. It was a depiction of the Mary holding baby Jesus with all of the accompanying gold leaf halos, etc. After following Gideon for three or four similar paintings, Brian began frown deeper until he expressed a full scowl. “Look, I get that you’re an art guy or whatever, but all of these paintings look more or less the same. It’s Jesus and a bunch of other people with gold halos and shit,” he blurted.

Gideon froze on the spot as he was bent forward, examining yet another such painting. He leaned up slowly, turned to Brian, and opened his mouth as if to respond. He just as soon snapped it shut again and headed for the next painting without uttering a response.

As the minutes dragged on, Brian began to feel the weight of true boredom settling in and he soon relegated himself to leaning against the wall, or taking a seat at the closest bench to either people watch or keep an eye on the fleet-footed Gideon. The other man seemed to be in no mood for running this time, and he continued to spend excruciating attention on every art piece. At about an hour in, Brian began to have trouble keeping his eyes opened until...

“Aha!” Gideon exclaimed. He stood before a painting depicting a gray-haired, gray-bearded man holding a scepter and a gold disc. To the man’s left was a golden shield painted with a strange two-headed bird of some sort. Brian was seated on a bench not far from him, leaned forward with his face in his hands.

Gideon was all smiles until he looked at Brian. “I said: ‘Aha!’” he repeated himself.

Brian separated his fingers to look through them at Gideon, but otherwise he didn’t move.

Gideon heaved a exasperated sigh and asked: “Would you get up and get over here? Do you want to leave or not?”

Brian leaned up and blinked at him in confusion. “Leave? Aren’t those freaks waiting for us?” he asked.

“Whatever. Just stand up and take my hand,” Gideon instructed as he held his hand out to Brian.

Brian made a tired sound, but did as he was told. They clasped hands and then...nothing. Gideon started to look around the room. He then focused on the painting he stood in front of.

“Is something supposed to happen?” Brian asked.

“Hush. It’s more complicated to bring someone else along,” Gideon muttered in response.

Brian was about to ask another question, but then the colors of the world ran and bled like paint.

***

When Brian’s senses reoriented, he was struck breathless by the world he’d been brought to.

He seemed to be standing in a room made from wood. There were stacks of canvases, unfinished paintings, spilled paint on the floor and brushes in cans scattered all about. Behind them, a simple wooden easel stood propped with a canvas on it. The canvas on the easel was unlike the others because it seemed to be wrapped with a warped and bent view of the exhibition they’d left behind, as if that world existed in two-dimensions. Ghostly arms moved in slow, languid ways where the artist might have stood, one holding a brush and the other holding a palette. Where the artist’s body might have been attached to those arms, a singularity of light bent space right there.

The room had no walls. Instead, the floor and ceiling seemed to be adrift in a golden dawn sky among the clouds. The subject of the painting they’d been standing next to was standing in the pose of the painting just beyond the floor line. He looked like a real man rather than the somewhat cartoonish depiction of him that had been in the painting. Perhaps a few dozen feet distant, other rooms of similar make and design also drifted in the clouds like islands. Each had a corollary subject standing just beyond its floor, presumably meant to be another painting subject.

“What the fu…!?” Brian was about to express, but then he was silenced by Gideon grabbing his head and planting a kiss on his lips. Brian made a shocked sound and pushed him off. “What the fuck!?” he blurted. “You’re really giving me mixed signals here.”

“I’m so, so sorry about how horrible I’ve been. It was necessary. We were being watched, and not just by my wife,” Gideon told him. The expression on his face was very different than all previous interactions. There was regret and frustration there, as well as true concern. Gone was the haughty disdain, or the look of annoyance.

“Huh? First off, and before we dig into that: where the hell are we?” Brian asked as he looked around.

“A cognitive nexus to Anima Mundi. Master Theodoric’s nexus, to be specific. Nobody can spy on us here,” Gideon explained.

“We’re in the painting?” Brian asked in disbelief.

Gideon shook his head. “A cognitive nexus. Any artist with a bit of notoriety leaves a lasting imprint on Anima Mundi. Master Theodoric enjoyed quite a lot of notoriety as a Gothic painter in Bohemia back in the 14^th century, thus his nexus is coherent and useful,” he replied. “Can I just say that you have an amazing body, and that you’re cute as fuck. I very much want to just have nice, normal sex with you...if you want?” he then added with a grimace a the desperation in his own voice.

Brian blinked and made a choked sound. “Can you pause on that topic for a bit. Um...cognitive...what?” he stammered and then rubbed his forehead.

Gideon closed his eyes and took a breath before responding. “Are you familiar with the teachings of Plato?” he asked.

“Not in the slightest,” Brian admitted.

“Well then I’m not sure I’ll be able to explain it to you better. Suffice it to say that Plato was the first sorcerer, becoming so when he fathomed Anima Mundi which is the higher dimension we now find ourselves in. I’m one of his sorcerous descendants,” Gideon answered with a shrug.

Brian frowned. “What does that have to do with paintings?” he asked next.

Gideon took a deep breath and looked around. “That’s going to be very hard to explain. Uhh…” he began, stammering as he put a hand on his forehead. “Ideas exist when expressed creatively. Doing so also impresses the artist’s cognition onto the higher dimension which…” he gave it a try.

“OK, nevermind. I’m already lost,” Brian stopped him.

“Sorry,” Gideon muttered. “Anyways, this space right here is Theodoric’s cognitive nexus. We can move from idea to idea, and then exit from any one of them the same way we got in.”

“Really!?” Brian exclaimed, looking astonished.

Gideon nodded in the affirmative as he gestured around them. “He has several murals in the Chapel of the Holy Cross in Karlštejn Castle, so we can get that far at least. What would be even better is if he has an inspirational link to some other artist. We can then make an orthogonal jump and exit back into the mundane world someplace truly unpredictable,” he explained as he stepped to the edge of the floor and peered out into the clouds were the tiny pockets of workshop and subjects drifted.

Brian moved beside him to look at the next island over. It was a solid ten or so feet away. “That’s a far jump,” he noted before looking over the edge at the clouds drifting far below. He turned slightly green and stepped back.

Gideon looked at him and then over the edge. “You won’t fall or anything. I can pull you to the next island easily. This is Theodoric’s cognitive inspiration we’re drifting in. His inspiration was the divine. All of this, these clouds and what not, are his visions of heaven or the realm of the holy. We, as people, don’t belong there, and the rules he understood wouldn’t let us enter even if we leapt from here,” he said.

Brian once more blinked at him in disbelief. “This is so bonkers,” he muttered.

“Speaking of, we should at least move to the Chapel. Someone who knows what they’re looking for would be able to deduce that we’re still in the inspirational pocket of his painting of Charlemagne if they looked at it in the right way,” Gideon said as he grabbed Brian’s hand without waiting to ask. He took a step towards the next island, and then the room shifted around them in small ways. The subject changed to a golden haired women wearing a blue robe holding a sword in one hand and a wheel-type object in the other.

“Whoa…!” Brian had a second to exclaim before the room and subject changed again.

Gideon let go of his hand when they landed in a Gothic chapel with gold-leaf vaulted ceilings, and numerous religious portraits in the same design, clearly done by the same artist. The clouds beyond had changed as well, going from the golden rays of dawn to a stormy, roiling black and green. Thunder rumbled from far off. The subjects were dark, almost too dark to make out.

“His works in the Chapel were inspired by the Book of Revelation,” Gideon mentioned when he noticed Brian looking around them in alarm.

“No doubt,” Brian mumbled as he turned around to examine the next odd thing. The ‘canvas’ in this island drifted on a part of the wall. Ghostly arms worked the brush and palette in front of it. The two-dimensions of the mundane once more wrapped the canvas.

Gideon was wandering the perimeter of the chapel peering off into the distant storm clouds. “Aha!” he exclaimed after around twenty or so minutes. He had a hand pointed in the distance with excitement.

Brian had been crouched down, examining the various painting materials Master Theodoric had seemingly spread about the place to do his work. He turned his head to Gideon before heading over to see what the fuss was about.

“See there? He found inspiration in what looks like the frescoes of another artist,” Gideon exclaimed, beaming with joy.

Brian squinted in the direction Gideon had pointed. In the distance, along a chain of islands similar to the one they now stood on was an island that was clearly something different. The storm clouds, which formed a plane above and below them, twisted around this final island to become something of a tunnel with bright light in the distant end of it.

“Come on!” Gideon said, holding his hand out once more.

“Sure,” Brian said, feeling a bit ludicrous at everything that was happening.

This leap felt further. The tunnel of storm clouds twisted until they seemed to blow away entirely. Rather than the clouds surrounding this island, the idea space seemed to exist in the middle of a garden of broad-trunk trees with spindly, long leaves. The dirt was red clay and there were various colorful flowers about as well. The sun was bright in the sky as if it were noon.

The workspace of the artist was another panel of the wall a church, and the work not being tended by two ghostly arms was all likewise biblical again. A two-dimensional rendering of the mundane wrapped around the spot the arms were creating.

“Where is this?” Brian spoke first as he peered around.

Gideon had a frown on his face as looked at the art that visible on the section of wall. He snapped his finger and replied: “Scrovegni Chapel! Padua, Veneto, Italy. Giotto di Bondone is the artist. Ah! It makes sense that Theodoric would have found inspiration here. Excellent! Giotto inspired many artists. Our trail will be quite hard to follow if we leap to one of those other inspired artists.”

“We’re in Italy!?” Brian asked in surprise.

Gideon shook his head and pointed at the ghost arms. “We’re in Giotto’s cognitive nexus. Italy is that way. See? You can see all of the tourists wandering the Chapel,” he said.

Brian frowned and moved closer to the panel being worked on. It was true, although the vision of the mundane was warped into two dimensions, on occasion a flattened face of some random person would wash over it. “Bizarre,” he muttered. “What about all of the trees and stuff?” he then asked, gesturing around them.

Gideon glanced around and shrugged. “The Garden of Gethsemane, I’d guess? It’s a common inspirational theme among Christian creatives,” he said.

“I recognize the name,” Brian admitted with a nod. He then shrugged and said: “I was never religious.”

Gideon moved next to him and once more grabbed his hand. “Leaping sideways to the inspired is delicate work. Give me a moment,” he said and then stuck his free hand into the glowing singularity where the artist’s body should have been. He then looked off as if seeing things that weren’t there.

Brian took the moment to examine the man beside him. Gideon was rather cute, and had the right body to match Brian’s own tastes in a male lover. It was hard to pretend that their night of furious fucking hadn’t been beyond spectacular. Plus, the smaller hand wrapped in his own larger one was rather nice to feel. Despite the attitude he’d gotten from Gideon before, he had to admit that this version of him was great deal nicer and felt far more sincere. He was likewise beyond impressed by Gideon’s encyclopedic knowledge of art, despite having no interest in the subject himself.

Gideon suddenly turned to him and grinned quite boyishly. “Found a good one!” he declared and then the garden twisted into a tunnel before they once more stood on an island in the midst of inspiration. This time, however, the surrounding inspiration seemed to be someone’s home, but the notions were abstract. Furniture and windows drifted in and out of a tesseract of walls and floors. Occassional unintelligible voices could be discerned but not understood.

The two-dimensional workspace of the island was a broad panel of wall above an elaborately carved stone arch, under which was another fresco of the Mary holding her baby while surrounded by many on-lookers.

“Altichiero. Church of San Anatasia in Verona. This should be a safe spot for a breather,” Gideon mentioned as he released Brian’s hand and sat on the stone floor of the island. He heaved a sigh and leaned back on his hands.

Brian eyed him for a moment before sitting down as well.

Gideon watched him do so and then he said: “Can we talk about the other topic now?”

“Which one? The topic of you being an absolute fucking asshole to me up until now?” Brian replied.

Gideon winced and then slumped his shoulders. “I am sorry. I don’t expect forgiveness, of course. You have a right be resentful. Can I explain?” he asked.

Brian spread his hands and looked around them. “Where the hell am I going at the moment?” he responded.

Gideon nodded. “This is likely the only place we can have a frank discussion about this topic, which is why I paused,” he said. “The laws of my society are quite strict about certain things. Our bloodlines can only be strengthened and not weakened. There are seven sorcerous bloodlines that are tracked relentlessly. Mine, the Warricks, are the strongest. Lily, my wife, is from the Winters bloodline. We are expected to procreate three times before we turn thirty. We’re both twenty-seven and the clock is ticking. I’m forbidden from pursuing romance in any other form until that procreative obligation is complete. The punishment for failing at any of these things is severe.”

Brian frowned and shook his head. “That doesn’t seem like it should be much of a challenge. Pop out three kids and be done with it. You said you were bisexual, so what’s the big deal?” he said.

“I am bisexual. In truth, I’m a lot more excited about men than women, but I have a good imagination and a relentless libido. The problem is not me. It’s Lily,” Gideon explained.

Brian flinched. “Is she barren or something?” he asked.

Gideon shook his head. “Things would be a lot easier if she were. The problem is that she’s a total lesbian. The idea of being penetrated by a man is beyond anathema to her. Every time we’ve made an attempt, she starts feeling resentment and anger. She said she feels like she’s being raped,” he replied.

Brian made an astonished face. “Oh.”

“As for my behavior towards you; I really was doing it to save your life. If hers or my family had the idea that you and I were anything more than a one-night stand, they would kill you. They’d also make me watch as they did it to teach me a lesson. I’m not permitted such things until our procreative obligation is fulfilled, like I said,” Gideon told him.

Brian stared at him for a few silent seconds before declaring: “Your family fucking sucks.”

“I don’t disagree,” Gideon replied right away. “I am sorry, Brian. You seem like a decent man. I truly abhor my own behavior, but it meant life or death for you,” he reiterated.

Brian made no response other than a shrug.

Gideon made no other comment either. It was a few seconds of uncomfortable silence that followed until the sound of Brian’s stomach growling ended the moment.

“I’m starving. And I need to piss,” Brian complained.

Gideon nodded and stood up from the chapel floor. “Let me see if it’s safe to exit. We don’t want to just appear in front of a crowd of people,” he replied and then he moved to the wall of the two-dimensional mundane. He gazed at it intently for a few seconds before declaring the way to be clear. He offered Brian his hand again.

Brian looked at the offered hand and then stood up. “Are you going to turn back into an asshole on the other side?” he asked with hesitation.

Gideon winced. “I deserved that. No, I’ll be the non-asshole unless we’re discovered again, but unfortunately yes, at that point I’ll need to be a jerk in order to protect you. We’re in Italy now, and we moved here in a way that is orthogonal to the mundane world. It’s unlikely that we’ll be found anytime soon unless I do something stupid,” he answered.

“Good. I like this version of Gideon more than the other one,” Brian responded, and then they shared a furtive look. Brian cleared his throat. “Hey, wait! Why didn’t you just open a magic door like you did from your house in Vancouver?” Brian asked as he took Gideon’s hand.

“The door of my home was special in a way that’s quite hard to explain. So was the door at the restaurant that we wound up exiting to. We’re not likely to find another door like those any time soon,” Gideon answered. He returned his attention to the wall of mundane space and put his hand on it. Once more, all of the colors of the world ran together like wet paint.

***

When Brian’s awareness of his surroundings resumed a split second later, he found himself extremely disoriented.

“Breathe,” Gideon told him before swatting Brian a few times on the cheek.

Brian sucked in his breath and blinked a few times. He hadn’t even realized that he’d been holding his breath. “I’m alright,” he said, leaning away from Gideon’s hand. He found his eyes looking instinctively up at the wall were the fresco, which depicted soldiers and others kneeling before a woman sitting on a throne and holding a baby. They were in a vestibule that was very ornately decorated and covered in other frescoes. The one work Brian was staring at, he somehow knew to be titled: The Virgin Being Worshiped by Members of the Cavalli Family.

“Feeling a residual inspiration from the cognitive nexus?” Gideon asked as he looked up at the work with a smile.

“It’s beautiful,” Brian said, feeling both confused and moved. He had to fight tears from the magnificence of it, which was totally out of character for him. He’d had never once in his life cared at all about art. But this! He loved every line, detail, and every brush stroke. It had been a tribute to God, and an act of devotion to the Creator. What other work could compare?

“When you travel the paths of creative influence, you can’t help but become inspired by the love of the work that brought you here,” Gideon told him. He nodded once, touched Brian on the shoulder and then gestured with his head for them to leave. He then moved to do so.

Brian spent one final moment gazing at the fresco before turning away to follow Gideon. They left the church through the front doors, which exited right into a parking lot of all things. The squat buildings of Verona crowded close, and the streets ahead looked more like alleyways than anything else.

“What time is it?” Brian asked as he squinted up at the cloudless sky.

“Just after noon. No time passes while we inhabit Anima Mundi,” Gideon answered. He marched right from the doors through the parking lot to the narrow street, with Brian in tow. Thanks to all of the luck in the world, there was a small cafe right across the street which he headed towards and entered. There were several other customers there, enjoying their lunch in the small tables out on the sidewalk. Brian followed.

It was the sort of place where one ordered things at a counter and then took them either to a table or to go. One notable feature was a beautiful, elaborate chandelier hanging from the ceiling.

Brian had an urgent need to see to, so he went right up to the woman at the cash register and asked: “May I use the restroom?”

The woman blinked at him and then replied in the most absurd language that he sort of understood and sort of didn’t.

Gideon chuckled and came to his rescue by asking about the bathroom in her own crazy language. She smiled at him and responded in like.

“That way. The code is 4005,” Gideon translated.

“Thanks,” Brian was grateful, because he thought his bladder was about to explode. He went off and did his business.

When Brian returned from the restroom, he found Gideon waiting patiently near the counter. “How are we gonna pay for this? I only have American dollars,” he said as he eyed the chalk-board to menu items with a confused expression. They seemingly only made panini, but that wasn’t what made him confused. What was written there was just...strange. He sort of understood it and sort of didn’t.

“You don’t realize that you’ve been speaking 14^th century Italian since we left Anima Mundi, do you?” Gideon asked him, sounding playful.

Brian blinked at him.

“It’s temporary. Take out your phone and read something in English to expedite your linguistic recovery,” Gideon said, and Brian proceeded to do so as the girl behind the counter spoke to them again in gibberish. Gideon responded in kind.

“What was that?” Brian asked him.

“She said that we need to order something since you used the bathroom,” Gideon answered.

Brian squinted at the menu, finding that it was still sort of gibberish.

Gideon took note and then volunteered to be Brian’s translator. He even paid for the food, handing over Euros that he took out of nowhere. Each bill he pulled with his hand below the counter so the cashier wouldn’t see, but Brian had a plain view of the seeming miracle each time it happened. They then carried their food out to the tables on the sidewalk when it finally arrived.

“Where did that money come from?” Brian asked in an off-hand sort of way. He eyed Gideon as the other man opened his panini, made an annoyed sound before removing a slice of onion to toss it to the ground.

Gideon shrugged. “The money came from somewhere in the world. There are bills all over over the place,” he answered.

“You just stole someone’s money to buy our lunch?” Brian asked, breaking into a grin.

Gideon wobbled his head. “They might’ve been bills that were lost someplace, too. I’m not choosy about the source when I need it. Listen, I’ve told you my sad tale of forced marriage, but I know very little about you other than the fact that you were in the military at some point. Care to fill me in?” he asked before taking a bite of his food.

Brian frowned. “I’ve got nothing as interesting as being a magician who can pull cash from thin air,” he answered.

“Tell me anyways. Where did you grow up?” Gideon asked.

“Sure, I guess. I grew up in Tacoma. My parents divorced when I was six, and I lived with my alcoholic dad until I ran away at fourteen. I went homeless for a week before the parents of a friend of mine let me stay with them. That’s the boy I used to fuck at night when his parents went to sleep. I dropped out of school at sixteen, worked at Burger King for cash and then joined the military as soon as I could. I served out my contract until I was discharged six years ago. Until recently, I worked as a night guard on demand, or a bouncer,” Brian told him.

“Sounds rough,” Gideon remarked.

Brian only grunted.

“Were you deployed to a war zone?” Gideon asked.

“Afghanistan,” Brian answered.

“Did you love him?” Gideon asked.

“Who?”

“Your friend. The one you stayed with,” Gideon replied.

Brian took a while to answer. He stared off at nothing until he did. “Yes,” he decided with a nod and then he broke into a wide grin. “You know, it’s sort of a relief to be able to admit that to someone. He had the most beautiful body. It was just perfect, you know what I mean? Slim and a little muscular. Oh man, I wanted him all the time. We didn’t just experiment. We fucked like rabbits. It was the first and last time in my life I remember being happy,” he confessed.

Gideon chuckled. “I can see the difference in your demeanor when you’re talking about it,” he noted. “What was his name, and how did you part ways with him?”

“He went by Ted or Teddy. He hated when other people called him Teddy, but he loved it when I did,” Brian replied before breaking into an easy smile. The smile faded. “We never got caught, but when I went into the army he went off to college and we just lost touch. He was a smart kid. I wasn’t. I’m sure he’s got a great life and a great career.”

Gideon eyed him for a bit, but then looked down at his panini without commenting. He took a bite and seemed to chew it thoughtfully.

Brian watched him. “What?” he blurted.

“Sorry. I’m trying not to be envious, that’s all,” Gideon responded.

“Envious!? You called me a closet case before and you were right. It sucks being me,” Brian retorted.

Gideon shook his head. “It sucks being you? You have no idea that you found true love, and you take that past of yours for granted. You should see the look on your face as you talk about Teddy. He meant the world to you for that brief period of time. I envy that. I’ve never felt such a thing,” he explained.

Brian frowned. “Never? What about this fucked up marriage? I thought she was your kinky friend or something? You’ve clearly been around the block a few times. Hell, I banged the shit out of you for twelve hours and got you pregnant! Are you really telling me that you’ve never had a lover you cared about?” he asked with incredulity.

Gideon took a deep breath and shook his head. “What you and I did was a part of a fantasy. It was nothing more than a brief pocket in Anima Mundi. It seemed real, but it wasn’t real. I’m not allowed to have lovers until I procreate with Lily, you see. Not real ones. It’s true that I’ve had thousands of fantasy partners in such a sense. In the end, though that’s all just masturbation. Here in the mundane world, I’m technically a virgin,” he answered.

Brian blinked. “You? A virgin!?” he began to guffaw, earning looks from the other customers.

Despite himself, Gideon saw the humor in it and he smiled as Brian laughed. “I know, it’s ridiculous from any perspective other than my own. It is true, though. You have to understand that the rules of sexual fantasy are quite nicer than they are in the mundane world. There is no pain. No mess. No tearing. No smells. No preparation needed. No clean up and no dysfunction. Everything and everyone are tidy, properly lubed, fit together perfectly and the only sensation of coupling is bright pleasure. Everyone has an orgasm before the ending, too. So you see? I am very much a virgin. I’ve never felt the awkward, visceral side of sex. I’ve never had to. Neither has Lily,” he said.

Brian could only stare at him in disbelief.

“Changing topics for a moment: what about girls? A prime specimen of manhood such as yourself must have had his share of luck among the ladies, closet not withstanding,” Gideon ventured.

Brian scowled. “Are you back to making fun of me?” he demanded.

Gideon shook his head. “No, I’m not. I’m genuinely curious, that’s all. I’m trying to find out more about you on our first romantic date at a small cafe in Italy,” he replied with an easy smile as he gestured to their surroundings.

“Oh, that’s alright then. By the way, we’re not on a date,” Brian corrected him as his stance eased.

Gideon gestured as if conceding the point.

“Girls? Yeah, I had a few girlfriends. It was about the appearances, but back in my late teens I could fuck anything with a hole and a heartbeat,” Brian told him before taking a huge chomp of his panini and chasing it with a chug of his sparkling water.

Gideon squinted at him. “How many?” he asked.

“How many what?”

“How many girls did you fuck?” Gideon put it out there.

Brian’s expression darkened once more.

“Look, Brian, I’m asking because it just might be that you and I can help each other depending on that answer,” Gideon said, looking rather thoughtful as he spoke.

Brian looked at Gideon as if the man’s head were on backwards. “Knowing the number of girls that I fucked helps you?” he asked and then laughed. “I gotta hear this. Alright, what bat shit crazy reason is there for you knowing my score?”

“I’ll explain as soon as you answer,” Gideon replied in a cool voice.

Brian made a scoffing sound and then shrugged. “I don’t know...a few dozen? Me and my boys were a bit wild back in the army. Like you said, I have a kind of look that women go for. It wasn’t hard to convince girls to offer it up. When we went on leave, I partied as hard as everyone,” he bragged with zero hint of pride. In fact, he seemed almost bitter about it.

Gideon leaned forward with intent. “A few dozen? Thirtyish? Forty? Were they beautiful?” he asked.

Brian made an annoyed sound. “What is it with you!? Yeah, I guess they were hot if you cared about such things. Maybe thirty? I never counted past ten. I was mostly drunk when it happened,” he answered and then his expression changed. He grimaced and confessed: “Right. I should have warned you, but I have herpes. I hope that didn’t ruin your fantasy, but you might want to be checked after what we did.”

Gideon seemed to be calculating something in his head when he moved as if hearing Brian’s words on a delay. He waved his hand dismissively. “I knew your viscera had an off-note the first time I took you into Anima Mundi. Congratulations, Brian: you’re cured! Now, give me a moment to think,” he responded before looking off at nothing.

Brian’s mouth dropped open. “You cured my herpes?” he asked in utter disbelief.

Gideon looked back at him and nodded with impatience. “Our bodies are a visceral harmony of cells and microbes. Infection and ailment create off-notes in that harmony. It’s beyond easy to correct. It’s child’s play, in fact,” he replied with a negligent wave of his hand.

“This is unbelievable!” Brian was astonished for the nth time.

“Uhuh. Forget about it. Listen, I have a proposal for you. Recall when I said that I could take you anywhere and whenever? I wasn’t lying. I can do that and more, in fact. I could take you home right now and make you wealthy. I could reunite you with Teddy. All of that in exchange for one thing,” Gideon proposed as he leaned over his plate to stare at Brian with intensity.

Brian was alarmed by the sudden change in his travel companion, and his defenses were raised. “Tell me what that one thing is first,” he replied.

“I want your body. I think I can fix my marriage problem through your visceral network of lovers,” Gideon explained.

Brian stared at him for a few seconds before once again bursting into laughter.

Gideon waited for him to stop before saying: “I’m serious.”

“I gotta hear this. Alright, explain this bullshit,” Brian said, still chuckling a little.

“Anima Mundi is an all-encompassing world soul. It’s not just a place where artists inspire one another. Every single human interaction is there as well, building an ever more complex and connected web of familiarity. Yes, even that cashier girl in the cafe is connected to you in Anima Mundi, though very weakly. The strongest connections: family, friends, lovers...those never fade, now matter the temporal distance,” Gideon explained.

Brian looked at him as if expecting a better explanation. “I still don’t understand what you want,” he confessed.

Gideon heaved a sigh and rolled his eyes. “If I can get a hold of...wait. That won’t make sense to you. Let me think. Ugh. Oh hell, I’ll just come out with it. Ejaculate inside me, and I’ll be able to use your seed like a painting to enter your visceral nexus in Anima Mundi. From there, I can hop to one of your female lovers and then make use of her nexus to entice Lily into a sexual act wherein I can impregnate her and be done with the whole marriage thing,” he blurted.

Brian blinked at him but didn’t laugh. “I’m sorry, but did you just say that you can use my cum to, uh, ‘hop’ to one of my old girlfriends?” he double-checked.

Gideon nodded. “Aside from flesh and blood, semen is the next most potent key to a man’s visceral nexus. I suppose we need not have sex, even though I would very much relish doing so. You could cum in a cup, and I could use that just as readily,” he confirmed.

Brian was once again in shock. “I don’t believe this. You just get weirder and weirder,” he muttered.

“I won’t deny it. Anyways, your semen is the same key I could use to return you to your home, or to some point in your past. Would you like that? You could go back in time through your life and do things differently. You could stay in school. Study more. Follow Teddy to college and see where that goes. I could do whatever you want. That’ll be my payment in exchange. What do you say?” Gideon said.

Brian gawped at him. “Are you fucking with me? A spurt of cum can send me back in time to be with Ted again?” he asked.

Gideon wobbled his head. “For you, yes, that’s all it takes. For me, it’s quite a lot more work I assure you,” he answered.

“OK, assuming that you’re not yanking my crank. How do my ex-girlfriends factor in?” Brian asked, playing along.

“You seem enticed. Are you agreeing?” Gideon pressed him.

Brian laughed and nodded his head. “Sure, man. I’ll jerk off in a mug to be with Ted again,” he agreed.

Gideon’s answering grin was shark-like. “Excellent! We’ll find a hotel after lunch. As for how your girlfriends factor: there’s a certain trick I can perform to imbue them with the potential of being pregnant by you. I can then transfer this to Lily if she’s open to it and then we’re both in the clear. Assuming she’s fine with having triplets, we’ll be through with our obligations at the end of nine-months,” he explained, looking beyond excited.

“Hold on. These’ll be my kids? I’m not OK with that. Anyways, I’ve been meaning to ask why you two don’t just go visit a clinic? You don’t have to fuck to get her pregnant, you know?” Brian replied.

“They won’t be your children, they’ll be mine. Why not visit a fertility clinic? Sorcerous ability does not follow genetics, it follows visceral connections in Anima Mundi. We must conceive with sexual intimacy, or we’re just wasting time,” Gideon told him and then he began wolfing down the rest of his meal.

Brian watched him eating for a few seconds before he, too, went back to his food to finish up. He felt a bit dubious about what he was getting into, but at the same time, if Gideon could deliver on his promise then he was willing to risk a lot more than a cupful of ejaculate.

After they finished their food, Gideon led Brian on a hunt through the alleys and streets of Verona for a hotel. They eventually landed upon a somewhat bland, tall hotel with an unremarkable aesthetic that was clearly a part of a hotel chain. Gideon headed right through the doors, passed the front-desk and went straight for the elevators as though he’d been staying there for a week. Brian followed him, because what else could he do?

“How is this going to work? I guess you don’t care to check in at the front desk?” Brian asked him with a smirk on his face.

Gideon snorted and shook his head. “Booking a rental is for the little people. Besides, we only need a room long enough for you to get your rocks off and then we’ll be on our way,” he answered.

Brian made a face, but didn’t respond.

“Have you decided on a wish? Do you want to go back in time? Do you want be a rich man? What do you want out of this?” Gideon asked him as the elevator moved.

“If you aren’t full of shit, then I want to go back to September of 2005. That’s when I ran away and got picked up by Teddy’s parents,” Brian answered.

Gideon eyed him as the elevator stopped on the sixth floor (seemingly chosen at random by Gideon) and then exited. He spun around once and headed in another randomly chosen direction down the two-way hall. “What would you do differently? Simply reliving the past is not what you’re signing up for,” he said as he eyed the room doors as they passed. He stopped at 608 and squinted at it. “It’ll do,” he muttered and then made a shooing gesture at the door. It popped right open.

“I’ll study and go to school instead of joining the army, like you said. I’ll follow Teddy,” Brian responded as they entered the dark room. He felt odd and a bit anxious. A part of him didn’t want to believe the promise in case Gideon was lying.

“A wiser choice, to be sure. So many things will be different as a result of those changes. Also, keep in mind that a high-school infatuation may not feel as acute to you with your adult sensibilities as it did in your youth,” Gideon said as he snapped his fingers and all of the room lights came on.

It was occupied, but the occupants weren’t in at the moment. There were suitcases and clothes spread out, as well as other detritus such as brochures and receipts indicating vacationers having a blast.

“Uh…” Brian hesitated upon seeing the room. The door closed behind him.

Gideon peered around and then shrugged. “Like I said, it’ll do. Alright! Down to business,” he said and then he turned to smile at Brian with expectation. “Last chance for a fuck!” he offered.

Brian shook his head. “Sorry. I’m just not interested. Not after all the shit you put me through,” he responded.

Gideon deflated. “Ah, yes. Brian hates fun. Fine, sour puss. Have it your way,” he grumbled and then held out a mug in his right hand (which had previously been empty). The mug was decorated like a beach. It also had a cartoon with a shirtless old man on one side with a speech bubble that said: ‘I dropped the kids off at the pool and could finally relax.’ He held the mug out to Gideon with a grin.

Brian frowned at him, but took the mug. He popped into the bathroom to do the deed. Due to the performance pressure, it took him a while to even get it up let alone ejaculate. It was the least fun masturbation session of his life, in fact. Gideon was watching a game show on the hotel room television when Brian emerged.

“Finally!” Gideon said with exasperation as he clicked off the television and approached Brian.

“Sorry, but I don’t do well under pressure, you know?” Brian responded as he handed over the mug, which Gideon took with the biggest grin on his face yet. “So, what are you…? Oh,” Brian had been about to ask a question, but then he was astonished to silence.

Gideon had downed the contents of the mug without hesitation. He even swished it before putting it down with a loud, obvious gulp. “Delicious!” he declared and then cleared his throat. “I’m lying of course. Mundane semen tastes awful.”

Brian made an annoyed sound. “If I knew you were just going to gulp it, then yeah, I could have done a blow job. It was just fucking that I was against. Blow jobs are not the same thing,” he said, putting his hands on his hips and fixing Gideon with a frustrated glare.

“You look so cute when you make that face. Do me a favor, milkman. Close your eyes, would you?” Gideon said to him.

“Why?”

Gideon rolled his eyes. “Just do it!” he goaded him.

Brian huffed and closed his eyes. He shivered and got immediate goosebumps. He then felt an odd sense of being weightless, and so he opened his eyes to avoid falling over. That’s when he discovered that he was now alone.

“Gideon?” Brian called out before looking around at the empty room. An odd tingling stirred his privates and he had to reach down to adjust a rising erection. A strong urge came to him to approach the wall mirror to his left, so he did so.

“Fuck!” Brian cursed as he saw his reflection. Rather, he saw Gideon and not himself staring back at him.

“Hello, beautiful,” Gideon said to him from the mirror. He grinned and waved.

“What the fuck is going on?” Brian demanded of the mirror.

“I’m nestled all up inside you, that’s what. It’s so cozy in here!” Gideon responded as he wiggled his eyebrows a few times.

“Get the fuck out of me!” Brian commanded.

“What? No, we’re not done yet. It’s time to send you home, for one thing. You do want to go home, don’t you?” Gideon asked.

Brian huffed and made another annoyed sound. “Yes, I want to go home,” he agreed.

“Perfect. Now, here’s how we proceed. Keep looking into the mirror and imagine that we’re someplace in your apartment with another mirror. Can you do that?” Gideon said.

“You mean like my bathroom or something?” Brian hesitated.

“That’ll work,” Gideon agreed with a nod.

“Sure thing,” Brian replied, fighting his sense of ire and doing as he was instructed. It wasn’t hard. The bathroom in his Seattle basement apartment was nothing special. It had a vinyl floor and a cheap porcelain sink and toilet. The tub and shower were plastic and likewise cheap. He bought towels from Goodwill, so they were any pattern or shape under the sun.

The image in the mirror began to shift a bit. The hotel room behind Gideon gradually began to shift into that of Brian’s apartment bathroom. It started off blurry, but within seconds the reflection of his bathroom was crystal clear.

“How utilitarian,” Gideon noted as he seemed to look around the room in the mirror.

“It’s what I could afford,” Brian replied, sounding defensive.

“Whatever. Close your eyes and touch the mirror right here,” Gideon instructed as he placed his own palm on what seemed to be the other side of the mirror.

Brian did as instructed. He kept his eyes closed, expecting some further instruction, but when none came he said: “Well?”

“Well what? Just open your eyes already,” Gideon’s voice said.

Brian did so and then his breath caught in his throat. He was in his own bathroom! He hadn’t felt a thing about the transition, either. “Thank God I’m finally back!” he cried. The sense of relief he now experienced was beyond sublime.

Gideon was looking at him in the reflection of the medicine cabinet mirror over his sink. “Yes, thank God and not Gideon, even though he did all the work. How typical. Ready for phase two?” he asked.

“Can I get a moment to relax, maybe take a shower first?” Brian begged.

Gideon regarded him from the reflection before flashing a smile. “Of course,” he said, and then Brian found himself staring at his own reflection in the mirror once more. Gideon was seemingly gone, although a renewed arousal in Brian’s genitals told him otherwise.

“Stay out of there,” Brian grumbled down at his own crotch before moving to shower and relax for a bit.

Unfortunately, Gideon was clearly doing anything but ‘stay out of there.’ By the time Brian had showered and tried to put on a bathrobe, things had become difficult due to the raging erection he couldn’t get rid of. He attempted to masturbate out of frustration, but he could only ascend towards a climax yet never reach it. It was as if he were unable to actually ejaculate.

“Alright you! What is this about?” Brian demanded in the bathroom mirror as he spread his robe open and indicated his stiff penis with a frustrated nod.

Gideon appeared. He smirked and seemed to peek down over the edge of the mirror. “You are truly glorious, I must say. Anyways, I’m summoning your past lover. Your contact with her involved that giant thing right there, and now I’m using it to call to her body through Anima Mundi,” he explained.

“That’s fucked up!” Brian muttered as he once more looked down at himself.

“It’s beautiful if you ask me. If the erection is bothersome, just go lay down in bed and enjoy the moment, stud,” Gideon teased him with a wink.

Brian growled and turned away from the mirror. He stomped to his bedroom and flopped onto the bed, yelping with pain when the stiffer part of his anatomy landed poorly in that act. He turned onto his back and lay there, staring up at the ceiling.

His bedroom was as sparse and functional as his bathroom. He had a king-size bed on a basic metal frame. His flimsy, black dresser was from a buy-nothing group and his closet was full of random attire slung on wire hangers. His bed sheets and blankets were from Walmart and none of them matched.

After two or so minutes of waiting for the throb to cease, he once more began to stroke himself. It was pleasurable but turned out to be fruitless and frustrating as the build-up never led to a climax. He put a hand over his eyes and yawned, feeling instantly drowsy. He then nodded off.

The dream began the second his eyes closed. A warm, wetness surrounded his erection. A moan. The weight of a body straddling his hips. Soft, warm skin to skin. Another moan, but from a woman. For Brian, it escalated quickly into the height of all pleasure. His eyes opened.

Her body was slender and light. Her shoulder-length hair was brown. She looked to be about Brian’s own age. She also looked vaguely familiar to him, and she appeared to be having the time of her life. Her eyes were rolling back into her head, her breath was coming in short gasps and her mouth was stuck open. Her hips were grinding into him, and he was penetrating her to the hilt. They cried out in unison when the orgasm struck.

Never in his life had Brian felt something so incredible. It seemed to go on forever, too. All the pent up frustration since returning home came gushing out in that one moment. He arched his back so hard he lifted both of them off the bed. When the moment finally ended, it was like having a bucket of cold water thrown over them both.

The woman was the first to react as she blinked and looked down at Brian with confusion. When she realized that she was naked and having sex, a look of utter horror marred her pretty face. “WHAT THE FUCK!?” she screamed and pulled off him, causing him a grunt of discomfort.

Brian, still a bit dazed, scrambled back from her.

She eyed his substantial genitals and then squinted at his face. “Wait a minute. I recognize that dick. Brian!? I was just thinking about your body when...? Where am I? Oh my god. Brian, I'm not on birth control and I’m married!” came her shocked recognition and rising vocal octave. Her words cut off.

“Uh…” Brian blurted.

She gasped once, closed her eyes, and threw back her head. Her eyes reopened and she faced him with a grin. “That felt better than I thought it would,” she said to him. “Her named was Christie, by the way. You were her first sexual partner back she was nineteen. Her feelings about you were quite strong, but you broke her heart. I could tell that you had trouble remembering, you heartless lummox.”

It was Brian’s turn to stare in horror at the naked woman before him. “Gideon!?” he guessed.

Christie (?) winked and laughed. “Aren’t I beautiful?” (s)he asked, turning this way and that to shake her rump at Brian.

“Gideon, is that you? What the hell did you do!?” Brian demanded, feeling quite outraged.

“Yes! It is I, Gideon Warrick, master sorcerer and now a lovely specimen of womanhood. What have I done? I used your substantive machinery and threw open her visceral nexus in order to achieve my goal, just as I told you. One half is done, and now I want to repay you,” Gideon said through Christie. She began snatching clothes from nothing to put on: bra, panties, a see-thru negligee. It was tasteless and racy all at once.

“What are you doing to her? Gideon, this is wrong!” Brian protested. He felt bad for not remembering her name. He felt bad for getting her involved. He just felt bad.

Christie was studying the wedding band on her left hand with a frown. “Oops,” she muttered. She then made a negligent wave of that same hand at Brian. “She’s to be our prophylactic. Once the need is met and Lily and I are satisfied with the result, I’ll make her the same offer I made to you. Who wouldn’t want riches or the opportunity to go back to fix everything? Nobody leaves the service of a Warrick feeling cheated, I assure you.”

“You’re unbelievable! Don’t you have a conscience at all? She’s married. What if she has kids at home?” Brian demanded as he stood up from the bed to confront her.

“She doesn’t have children...yet. And, yes, as a matter of fact I do have a conscience. I’d much prefer to indulge my own fantasy than meddle in the life of another. Alas, I can’t afford to pretend that things are peachy in my life. I’m desperate to avoid a descending meteor of consequences for inaction, and Christie is my key to doing so. I’m sure you know what feeling desperate is like,” Christie replied to him.

“Let her go,” Brian demanded, making a fist. He wanted to punch Gideon, but couldn’t for obvious reasons.

“Calm down! When I’m done, she’ll be free and better off. That is no longer your concern. Anyways, I want to give you your big prize. Now is your last chance to have a change of heart. Go back in time and tread a different life path, or alter the course of your life right now. Do you want to be rich? I happen to know what lottery number is going to win the Powerball next month. It’ll be worth many hundreds of millions. You see? Legitimate wealth can be yours very easily,” Christie offered.

“It feels like I made a deal with the devil,” Brian said, looking Christie up and down with disgust.

“Except there’s no gotcha. Devil’s bargain? Religious nonsense! I’m making a real offer. Come on, half-man-half-horse. As much as I’m enjoying the show, I have someplace to be and the door of your nexus is closing. The option to go back in time is going away soon,” Christie pressed him.

Brian growled and shook his head. “I still want to go back. My life sucks!” he chose.

“Having taken a peek at your past choices, I happen to agree with this decision. The wisdom of a hard life lived will suit a wayward teen Brian better than it does this bitter and lost adult Brian standing in front of me,” Christie said and then she reached forward to place her fingers on his temples. He tried to flinch away, but Christie tsk-tsked him and held him steady. “There’s a particular moment of your visceral timeline that I think will work best. Close your eyes and recall...Alanis Morisette,” she intoned.

“Huh?” Brian blurted once more.

“Just do it!” Christie chided him, giving Brian’s head an impatient rattle.

Brian heaved a sigh and closed his eyes. He had no idea what about Alanis Morisette he was supposed to be remembering, so he just imagined her face. A song started to play in his ears right away…

***

“...I’m here to remind you of the mess you left when you went away…” Brian heard the lyrics of You Oughta Know by said artist. He was in the back seat of a Nissan Altima and that song was playing on the radio. Memory returned. He was being driven through the streets of downtown Tacoma away from something terrible and into something hopeful. He felt relieved and relaxed for the first time in weeks. The car smelled like a dog. The owners of the car had a dog named Dingbat.

“We’ll go to your house tomorrow to pick up your things, Brian. I know you don’t want to, but we can’t keep you at our place if your dad called the police. You have to talk to him. I’ll be there with you when you do,” a woman said to him. She was kind to Brian, and always had been. Teddy’s mom was the driver.

Brian opened his eyes and found himself in true disbelief at what he saw. He held up his hands to stare at them. They were thin and youthful, but dirty. He had a bundle on his lap of the belongings he’d taken with him when he’d run away from his drunken father a week or so ago.

“Let him get a shower first, mom. Pee-yoo!” a wonderful, familiar teen boy voice spoke from the shotgun seat as the voice’s owner rolled down his window. There he was! Teddy! His ear-length black hair hung loose around his head in the way that Brian remembered. The jaw and face that he’d studied so often in the aftermath of their sex was as perfect as he remembered. He was even wearing the same red and black flannel that Brian remembered.

“Ted?” Brian managed a word, barely recognizing the lighter sound of his own fourteen year-old voice.

Ted turned his head, flashed him a wide grin and his light blue eyes sparkled. He then wrinkled his nose and pinched it. “You. Stink,” he mouthed the words and then laughed before turning back to face forward.

Brian couldn’t help it. He wept. “Gideon,” he whispered to the window as he turned to hide his tears.

***

Lily stepped through the door of her mansion with irritation. She’d just entered through the door from Prague after going on a pointless hunting effort to find her escaped husband. It turned out to be even more of a waste of time: he’d just came right back home again.

“Ready your weapons,” she said to her cadre of scantily-armored lowmen as she stomped through the foyer and headed up the grand stairs. Creating the beasts was one of her talents and now she brought eight of them to help her with her task.

Lily headed for her office. The various realm-shifted baubles she’d stashed there told her when an intruder had entered her sanctuary. That was where her husband had gone to wait for her.

“This was a mistake, Gideon,” Lily said as she pushed open the door and strode into her office with her hands on her hips. What she found there caught her breath. There was a beautiful woman sitting at her mahogany desk with her delicate feet propped up. She had dark brown hair, slender and soft features, and she wore an eye-popping see-through negligee.

“Welcome home, my love,” the woman greeted Lily with a smile as she stood up from the chair. Her lovely forehead wrinkled as Lily’s lowmen came in behind her and pointed their coiled weapons in her direction.

“Who are you?” Lily asked. She wasn’t afraid, but she was confused.

“Sorry, Lilith. I’m ending this episode earlier than you’d probably like,” the woman said, ignoring the question as she snapped her right fingers.

With a scream that lasted only a split second, the eight lowmen seemed to collapse into one swirl each that ended with a poof of dust. They were gone and the two women were now alone.

Lily scowled at the drifting motes of her annihilated minions and then regarded the other woman. “That was rude. Gideon, is that you?” she guessed.

“In her flesh,” the woman replied with a smile.

“What the hell are you up to this time? Who’s this morsel?” Lily asked as she walked forward to study the woman’s body with naked appreciation.

“A solution to our predicament,” Gideon answered.

Lily quirked one eyebrow and folded her arms. “Explain,” was all she said.

“I’ve broken her visceral nexus wide open. She’s thus been prepared to become our prophylactic. Our surrogate,” Gideon responded.

Lily made a tired sound and shook her head. “There can’t be a surrogate. That isn’t how this works,” she retorted.

“Your not thinking about it the right way. If we share her body for pleasure in the moment of mutual fertile climax, it can still work. You provide three eggs, and I provide the sperm. She’ll be a vessel for all of it, and you need never know the touch of a man in the process,” Gideon explained.

Lily squinted at her. “Three eggs? You mean to conceive triplets?” she asked with a laugh of disbelief.

“Yes. We have only three years until the consequences of our failure are to be paid. Having babies one at a time cuts it too close,” Gideon pointed out.

“Speaking of failure: I’m told that you’ve acquired a boy-pet. That well-hung, blonde beefcake I sent you. I knew you had a thing for blondes. Your family will not be pleased,” Lily changed the topic.

“Ah, yes! Thank you for that. He was very useful. You’re staring at his ex-girlfriend. It was that bond between them that I used to pry her nexus open,” Gideon replied with an easy smile on his lady-puppet’s lips.

“You used a love bond to break into her nexus? That’s demonic! You’re a devious son-of-a-bitch,” Lily said, fixing him with a look that was a mix of awe and disgust.

“I’m bored with this game, Lily. I want to move past this obligation, just like you do. Are you willing to give it a go, or do you truly want to waste more time scheming until the clock runs out? The Winters and the Warricks share a similar incapability for mercy when dealing with problematic children,” Gideon asked, all pretense of her amusement gone and replaced with sterner words. She folded her arms and regarded Lily with cold eyes.

Lily heaved a sigh and shook her head. “I’d rather get it done if there’s a chance to do so without being raped by a man,” she answered before eyeing the other woman up and down again. “Do you intend to trap her until she reaches full term?” she asked.

“I leave that decision up to you. It would be your choice to carry our children, not mine,” Gideon replied.

Lily rolled her eyes and nodded as if agreeing that the point had been obvious. “If they manage to inherit the sorcerous boon, then I’ll gladly carry them. If they’re mundane, she can have them,” she said before waving a hand at Gideon dismissively.

“Right. No need to waste more time then. The bedroom awaits. I’ll explain the enhanced mating process as we go,” Gideon replied, gesturing in that direction with a flourish.

***

Brian sat at the bar sipping a scotch on the rocks as he paid attention to the game. Unlike his partner, he quite enjoyed watching football. His cell phone buzzed from his pocket, and he pulled it out to check what was up.

“Grab a good wine bottle on your way home,” the message said. Brian smiled and replied in the affirmative.

A round of moans and grumbles went up around him, recalling his attention back to the game. The Seahawks were losing. Badly. He sighed with irritation, sat back in the bar stool and folded his arms.

“I’d rather watch speed-walking than this pathetic mess of a game,” a stranger to his right said loud enough to earn a few chuckles from the rest of the bar. Brian laughed as well. The stranger summoned the bartender to pay his tab and he left without waiting for the game to end.

During an idle moment, Brian glanced about the place to note that most of the crowd had already left as well. There were perhaps ten others waiting the horrible game out.

“Can I get you another?” the bartender asked Brian. He was a young man, perhaps twenty-seven or so. He had a mustache and styled brown hair.

Considering the request of buy wine, Brian decided to cut himself off. “Nah. Close the tab. I’m think I’m done, too,” he said.

Another customer pulled up the stool beside Brian. “I’ll have what he’s having,” the new guy said.

Brian frowned and looked to his left where the man had sat himself. The bar was mostly empty, and it seemed unnecessary to sit so close. It was like picking the adjacent urinal when the remaining row of urinals was entirely unoccupied.

The stranger had short black hair and bright green eyes. He looked athletic and slim, like a runner perhaps. He was handsome and boyish. He wore a black long-sleeve shirt and a stylish pair of designer slacks. His eyes sparkled as he met those of Brian.

“Sure thing,” the bartender replied and moved to fetch the order. He was interrupted, however, by the sudden appearance of a group of patrons wanting to settle their checks.

Brian meant to look away from the stranger, but his gaze lingered. The face seemed familiar. “Do I know you?” he asked with a frown.

“In another life,” the stranger answered and then the recognition struck Brian like a thunderbolt.

“Gideon!” Brian hissed the name in shock and disbelief.

Gideon quirked his eyebrows and flashed a huge grin. “The one and only. No need to be worried, Brian. I have no strange adventures to drag you on. I was just curious to see how the second time around worked out for you,” he said as he looked Brian up and down. Brian was not nearly such a meat head as before, though he did keep in shape. His hair was a bit longer; trimmed to around ear-length and nicely styled. He had a silver earring on his left ear, wore nice jeans, and his white button-down shirt looked like it had been tailored.

“I don’t believe it,” Brian whispered as he took in the other fellow with alarm.

“Stay calm! I told you: I’m just curious about how things turned out. Did you go to university like you’d hoped?” Gideon asked.

Brian blinked a few times and then he seemed to grow calmer. He nodded. “Yeah, it was a lot easier to focus in school this time around. I knew the consequences of doing otherwise, and Teddy helped me get caught up with everything,” he replied.

“Excellent! How did things go with Teddy? He meant a great deal to you, I know,” Gideon responded with enthusiasm.

Brian managed a smile. “We both got into the University of Washington, but by the end of freshmen year we decided that we were better off as friends. He’s still my best friend. He’s coming over for dinner tonight, in fact,” he answered.

“As graceful a conclusion to romance that one could hope for,” Gideon noted, looking quite happy. “What about that little secret of yours?”

Brian chuckled and shook his head. “Out and proud. Been that way since college. In fact, I’m married to a man named David. We’ve been together for five years, wed for three,” he responded before holding up his left hand and wiggling the adorned ring finger.

Gideon made a happy sound. “Amazing! Which career path did you choose? What did you study?” he then asked.

“Accounting. I have a CPA. It’s not the most exciting work there is, but the pay is good and the position is in high demand,” Brian replied.

Gideon made an approving face. A loud round of booing went up from the patrons, and Brian looked up at the television to see that the opposing team had just scored a touch down. Brian sighed and shook his head.

“I knew you’d make the right choices. This news makes me truly happy,” Gideon told him.

Brian looked back at Gideon and studied him for a second. “What about you and that crazy wife of yours. And what happened to Christie?” he asked.

“Mind you, I dropped back for this reunion. Lily and I are going to be the proud parents of triplets nine months from now, from the relative perspective of this moment. From my point of view, my three children, two boys and a girl, are already five years old and as magical as Merlin. Both sets of grandparents are ecstatic and also off our backs about obligation. The ensuing divorce was amicable and swift. As for Christie: she chose the Powerball numbers. She and her husband will be filthy rich by the end of next month,” Gideon answered with an easy smile.

Brian frowned and nodded.

“It’s been wonderful catching up, Brian, but I must go. Have a wonderful life. I’m glad we got to meet in that other time, even if the moments were short,” Gideon said as he moved to stand from the stool

Brian flinched. “Wait! Want to drop by for dinner tonight and meet Dave? You’ve done so much for me, I’d at least like to stay in touch...or something,” he said.

Gideon gave a sad sigh and shook his head. “I would love to, but I’d be showing up as a stranger at your door. Today is the temporal reiteration of your decision, you see. Once that iota of time when I sent you back passes, you right here will officially become the only version of Brian there ever was. You’ll have zero memory of me, or those events which motivated your change of behavior as a child,” he explained.

“What? Why?” Brian asked, wrinkling his forehead.

Gideon shrugged and answered: “That’s just how Anima Mundi ends a cognitive paradox. If we’re to be friends, we’ll have to start over. If you recall how I behaved during our first encounter, that may not be such a bad…”

The interaction ended entirely and abruptly. Why not? There was nobody in the stool beside him. He hadn’t been talking to anyone, in fact.

Brian turned back to the bar just as the bartender arrived with a scotch on the rocks to put it down in front of him. Brian frowned and said: “Sorry, man, but I didn’t want another one. I asked for the check, remember?”

The bartender looked immediately confused, but then he sighed and shook his head. “Right. I remember. Sorry. I guess this shitty game is scrambling my brain. It’s yours if you want it. No charge. Let me grab that check,” he replied and then went off again to do that.

Brian eyed the drink but decided to push it away. Two drinks were enough since Dave also wanted to have wine tonight.

Once the check was settled, Brian stood from the stool and turned to head home. Something under the empty stool next to him caught his attention though, so he bent forward to pick it up. It was a post card with a work of art on the front which depicted a colorful explosion of sorts erupting from what looked like some kind of Greek temple. He turned it over to read the back:

Firelei Baez Exhibit

November 3, 2024 – March 16, 2025

Vancouver Art Gallery

Brian grunted and tossed the card onto the bar. It had been a while since he and Dave made a trip up north to that great Canadian city. Maybe it was time to do so again? He considered making plans as he left the bar and headed out to grab a nice bottle of wine before going home.

The End