Riley was curled up on her side, tail tucked between her legs, clutching her phone tightly as she cried quietly. The realization from the previous day weighed heavily on her, and she felt lost, vulnerable, overwhelmed, and she didn't know what else.
This was new to Riley. She had always been the, rather... Not so reasonable one in the relationship. Riley wasn't even sure if she could handle such a responsibility. What if she couldn't handle it? What if Ruby couldn't? What if she messed up? What if something went wrong?
Ruby had attempted at reassuring her, but Riley's mind was a tornado of doubt and fear, fear of the unknown. She felt like she was standing at the edge of a cliff, where she could either face it and fall or run away.
She had never been good at handling stress, let alone something so... so permanent. Riley knew that raising a child was quite a commitment, having seen and heard the ups and downs Zip and Claire had faced.
Riley was scared, and reasonably so. She had always been the one to throw caution in the trash. I mean, she played with fucking knives, but this? This was different, wayyyy different. It wasn't just about her anymore. There was a little life now, a life that was completely dependent on her and Ruby and would be for practically its whole life.
This was a lot for Riley's little head to take in. She was gonna be a mom, but how? How the hell was she supposed to keep her shit together for 9 months, plus 18 and more years, to be a decent parent? She could barely take care of herself and now there was something growing inside her, relying on her for everything.
Ruby was the one that got Riley through everything, always had been. She had Riley's back through everything, especially when she was at her worst! Even before they got together, Ruby had been there throughout all Riley's mistakes, all the rejections from Oliver, and even helped her the one time she accidentally hurt herself with one of her knives.
But this, this was like the universe, handed her the world's most complicated puzzle and said, "Good luck!" And she didn't even know what she was supposed to be making a picture of. Riley took a shaky breath, her eyes still red and teary from all her crying. She could be doing other things right now, but she didn't, instead she foolishly laid curled up in a scared, overwhelmed ball on the same bed she and Ruby cuddled on every night.
Ruby had finally arrived back home after a rather rough day, her boots heavy against the floor as she entered their shared apartment. Sighing, headed straight to their bedroom. The sight that met her was heart-wrenching. Ruby had seen Riley go through some pretty intense shit, but this was on another level. It wasn't anything like the other times Riley had cried her eyes out.
Usually Riley would just cling and talk to her for comfort and eat billions of tubs of icecream before going back to her usual self, but Ruby knew this was way harder than anything. She looked at Riley as she laid there, unresponsive, only the sound of her sniffles and whimpers being a break from the quiet room. Ruby sighed once again as she went up to her, taking a seat on the edge of the bed.
"Hey," she said softly, reaching out one hand to gently massage Riley's back, "you can't sit in here and do nothing but cry... this isn't good for you."
Ruby's voice was the only thing that broke Riley out of the storm in her head. She looked up, her eyes swollen from crying. "I don't know what to do," she said, her voice cracking. "I'm scared..."
Ruby nodded, her heart aching for her partner. "I know, but you can't just sit here like this," she said gently, her voice remaining soft to comfort Riley's anxiety. "Have you even eaten today?" She asked, concern hinting in her voice as she already predicted the answer.
Riley sat up and shook her head. Her eye's teary eyes meeting Ruby's fully. "No..." she admitted, her voice a little strained from crying.
Ruby sighed, pulling Riley closer to her. "Starving yourself isn't helping either," she whispered, stroking her hair gently.
"I know...B-but I can't," Riley stuttered, her voice muffled by Ruby's shirt as she buried her face into her chest. Ruby's scent and presence were familiar and comforting, but it didn't ease the turmoil in her mind.
"Riley..." Ruby was going to continue, but she decided not to press on it, knowing that Riley was already feeling fragile. Instead, she just pulled Riley into an embrace. Immediately, Riley clung to her like she was her whole life support.
"You wanna cuddle?" Ruby suggested, that was one of the things that Riley enjoyed and found solace in. They had spent many nights like that, especially after a bad day. Riley nodded into her shirt, still not letting go.
They laid down. Ruby could still feel Riley tremble slightly in her arms, but she said nothing. She just held her tightly. It was one of those moments where words just didn't cut it. Ruby held Riley like that until she had fallen asleep. The room went quiet except for their breathing. Ruby knew that the next 8 months were probably going to be tough. Riley was already an emotional mess. Who knew what her moodswings would be like, but Ruby knew she had to prepare herself? Riley needed her more than anything right now. She couldn't just leave her behind, not in a million years.