Chapter 1
“Elphie? Elphie, are you awake?” Galinda’s whisper carried across the room.
Her roommate grunted a soft, “mmm,” but nothing more.
“Elphie?” it came again a moment later, a little louder this time. Still no response from Elphaba.
The sound of sheets rustling was followed by soft footsteps as Galinda tip-toed across the hardwood floor to the area of their shared room where Elphaba slept. Elphaba’s small cot was obscured by a rack of frilly pink dresses; a rack that moved around the room depending on the mood and activities of the girls, but oftentimes ended up blocking off Elphaba’s space from the rest of the dorm. Galinda often suspected her roommate did this on purpose - made more clear because it had been happening less and less often now that they were friends.
Galinda’s head peeked between lace and layers of fabric. Elphaba was mostly asleep, her back to the dress rack, trying desperately to cling to unconsciousness.
“Elphie?” Galinda practically shouted in a stage whisper.
The so-called whisper pulled Elphaba fully into consciousness and she turned around slowly, opening her eyes just enough to see Galinda’s face inches above her own.
“Elphie, I’ve been thinking,” Galinda began at full volume as she sat at Elphaba’s feet. “The cot really isn’t… ‘great,’” she said, referencing the word she’d used on their first day as roommates. The corners of Galinda’s mouth cocked up, which was Elphaba’s first indication that Galinda was about to do something she considered to be self-sacrificing.
“Why don’t you take mine?”
Elphaba propped herself up on her elbows and smiled. Now that they were friends, Elphaba found herself more and more entertained by Galinda’s grand gestures of niceitude. She reached for her glasses on the end table and put them on.
“Galinda, I’m fine,” she said in a lighthearted tone. “That really isn’t necessary–”
“I insist!” Galinda cut her off in a high falsetto. “Up you go.” She looked expectantly at Elphaba, then at the full-size bed on the other side of the room. Galinda loved communicating solely with pointed looks and raised eyebrows.
Without being able to help it, Elphaba glanced at her pillow, then, trying to cover up her vulnerability, quickly back at Galinda. Galinda noticed nonetheless, and smiled.
“Your mother’s bottle will fit just as well under my pillow,” Galinda said. Very slowly and tenderly, she reached under Elphaba’s pillow and pulled out a green bottle. Elphaba was slightly on edge, as she always was with anything to do with her mother, but she didn’t protest as Galinda placed the bottle gingerly in her hands.
“Please,” Galinda continued in her falsetto. “For me?” Galinda batted her eyelashes, a surefire way to get what she wanted.
Elphaba, resigned, tried not to smile as she slowly stood up from the cot. She gave one last exasperated look at Galinda, trying to point out how unnecessary it was, making a big show of how she really needn’t. Galinda firmly and with authority gestured yet again to the bed with her eyebrows. Elphaba dragged herself to the bed, acting put out, even though she secretly reveled in it. She carefully tucked the little green bottle under Galinda’s pillow, and crawled under the covers.
The sheets were still warm where Galinda had been moments before. Elphaba indulged in the scent of Galinda: the floral perfume she applied behind her ears, the oil she rubbed in her hair every other day, the soft velvety scent of her powdered skin. The sheets were remarkably Galinda-like: soft and silky, but without any give. Sturdy. Well-made. Pink.
Being in Galinda’s bed, surrounded by the smell and feel of her without actually being with her, was… odd. Elphaba had spent hours on this bed next to Galinda, talking, laughing, joking. On the one hand, without Galinda on the bed with her, Elphaba felt like an unwelcome stranger. But on the other hand, Elphaba felt like she was meant to be there. As if, by nature of being Galinda’s best friend, she was entitled to Galinda’s space, her smell, her things.
Elphaba burrowed down a little further into those sheets, bringing the covers over her nose so she was completely enveloped in Galinda’s essence. She was trying very, very hard to be completely silent.
Galinda, meanwhile, was tossing and turning rather loudly on the cot. She took a deep breath in, seemingly about to exhale loudly, but stopped herself mid-huff, as if she was reminding herself that she loved helping others. Elphaba listened, hyper-aware of the number of times Galinda flipped and groaned and huffed.
Elphaba sat up, smiling, glasses still perched on her nose.
“Galinda,” she said. “Share the bed with me.”
“I couldn’t,” Galinda replied in her falsetto, nose pointing away in exaggerated defiance.
“Come on, there’s plenty of roo—“
Before Elphaba could finish her request, she heard hurried tiptoes across the floor, followed by feeling the weight of Galinda pulling the mattress further down to one side.
“Well, if you really do insist.” Galinda was already fluffing her pillows and smoothing the duvet over her legs.
Elphaba laughed at Galinda, who beamed back at her. Elphaba could make out her very white teeth, even in the dark. She looked away quickly, suddenly embarrassed, and felt Galinda look away, too.
The girls were left propped on their pillows, eyes straight ahead, and board-stiff on the bed. They stayed still, both afraid to move for fear of breaking this fragile thing between them now.
Elphaba could sense Galinda’s body next to hers, the warmth that radiated from her. She could hear the breaths Galinda desperately tried to keep even. Elphaba tried to match her own breath to Galinda’s. In, out. Sometimes Galinda’s breath caught ever so slightly, for only a tenth of a heartbeat. Elphaba matched her breaths anyway.
The bed, while much bigger than the cot, was still too narrow for two adult women to share without touching, as Elphaba became painfully aware. Each breath brought them a millimeter closer, before their exhales pulled them away again, like the moon to the tide.
After what felt like an eternity of not moving, Elphaba turned her head toward Galinda. She did so very apprehensively, prepared to yank back at any second. She was only half surprised to see Galinda still awake. Galinda mirrored her movement, allowing them to now stare at each other. The corner of Galinda’s mouth perked up quickly, reassuringly, kind, appreciative.
That was one unexpected perk of becoming friends with Galinda: the looking. Elphaba loved being able to look at Galinda as often as she wanted, but even more so, she loved being looked at. When most people saw her green skin, they averted their eyes as quickly as possible. When Galinda looked at her, she was seeing more than her green skin: the shape of her nose, her big eyes, the freckles, the gap between her front teeth.
Elphaba felt for the first time like someone saw her for who she truly was, down to her very essence. She could be looked at by Galinda for hours, for the rest of her life even.
Elphaba began to fear that Galinda would stop looking. She became acutely conscious of her body taking up so much of Galinda’s space, and she felt guilty and undeserving. So, she smiled at Galinda and whispered, “I’m going back to my bed. It’s great,” she crooned, teasing her friend. She began to stand up.
But Galinda grabbed her arm, pulling her back and cementing her in place.
“Don’t,” she said in her genuine voice, the one she doesn’t use often. It seemed she realized this and, needing to atone for being vulnerable for once, added in her falsetto, “Please. Stay here with me.” Her lips were tight and her big eyes stared Elphaba down, either begging or challenging her, Elphaba wasn’t sure.
Elphaba smiled, resigned. “Fine,” she said very quietly.
Galinda squealed and pulled Elphaba back onto the bed, but she didn’t let go of the sleeve of her thin black nightgown. Elphaba, without thinking, wrapped her own green hand around the pink one still holding her upper arm. Galinda rested her head against the other girl’s shoulder.
For a moment, Elphaba sat frozen, afraid that one twitch or wrong movement would remind Galinda where she was, what she was doing — who she was holding— and ruin it all.
But once Galinda drew a heavy, sleepy breath, sounding so at ease in Elphaba’s company, Elphaba finally believed Galinda wanted her there. She decided to rest her head on top of the soft blond curls, smelling that intoxicating hair oil.
Galinda, beaming, looked up at the other girl, and noticed her glasses were still on. With her free hand, she gently pulled them off and set them on the nightstand. Elphaba regretted the momentary separation, feeling cool air fill the space where Galinda had just been. Her heart panicked, not expecting Galinda to return to the same closeness.
But only a second later, Galinda was back. She rested her head a little further on Elphaba’s shoulder and squeezed her arm, and the girls drifted off to sleep, Elphaba’s heart finally calm.
–--
Elphaba never returned to the cot, and it goes without saying that neither did Galinda. They shared the bed and bedsheets, Elphaba’s mother’s bottle in its permanent space under the pillow closest to the balcony. Elphaba’s pillow now.