Guess who’s back bitches ( I kid don’t leave)
“Wait! You got a man?” Poseidon groaned at the questioning burying his head in his arms trying to make himself as small as possible.
“Does it matter who I’m seeing Apollo?”
“Yes, because you proposed to me just last month and I’d like to know you’re taking this marriage seriously” Apollo adopted a false stern look as he peered at the green-eyed man before him (he looked 20, why 20??), relishing in his obvious discomfort. “I mean what would your wife say?!!”
Poseidon let out another loud groan at the reminder and this time Apollo failed to successfully hide the laugh from slipping between his lips though he quickly took back his scolding tone at the glare sent his way. With an annoyed huff, Poseidon elected to ignore the annoying sun god in favor of the long-haired beauty (“he’s not that cute”, “Shut up Apollo you fucked Hermes once”, “SO DID YOU! IT WAS A THREESOME!”) lying before him.
Saying Poseidon had been surprised when Snape had suddenly fainted in front of him would be the understatement of the century. One minute things are getting thick and heated and Poseidon thinks that finally finally he’s opening up (or at the very least Poseidon can get back in those pants) and the next he’s closing off again, and fulfilling his long lost dream of becoming Sleeping Beauty. Poseidon has no idea if that’s his actual dream or not- because he never tells him anything!!!- but it was fun to think about so it stuck.
Sighing, he ran a finger down Snape’s cheekbone, breath hitching at the feeling of the soft skin on his. He looked so pale and fragile lying as he was, eyes closed and chest rising steadily up and down. Poseidon's finger found its way to Snape's mouth and Poseidon swore he could feel his heart stop at the warm breath puffed out between those full delicate lips tingling his finger just slightly. God could people get more beautiful??
“Hey, when you’re done with your boy toy could you ask him what skincare routine he uses because DAMN”
The sound of Apollo’s voice was enough to rip Poseidon from his reverie and remind him of the current situation. Snape accidentally put himself under a sleeping curse never to wake from again. Tears welled in Poseidon's eyes at the thought and he heard himself sniffling pitifully as he gently moved a strand of hair away from Snape's eyes. “It’s just like Slippy all over again”, he whispered mournfully.
The fate of Slippy the snake was not known to many people as the tale was so devastating those who knew of it refused to have it uttered.
He impaled himself on his own tail but not before leaving a note for Poseidon in the dirt. A very considerate “fuck you”, each letter spelled out with such care Poseidon couldn’t help but feel touched. Clearly this creature loved him too much to live and that’s why he chose not too.
“Do you understand how weird it is that you nicknamed your lover of 2 weeks after your pet snake who killed himself?” Apollo questioned not looking up from the clipboard he was writing notes on. Every once in a while he would reach out and poke Snape with the tip of his pen before going back to his notes with an unsatisfied grunt. Needless to say, it was very distressing for Poseidon to watch. “Nevermind that, do you know how weird it is that you’ve been dating this man for 2 weeks and you didn’t even know his name?” His tone grew more accusatory as he pointed out that fact and Poseidon just felt so attacked right now. (Like you know he’s unhappy, you know that he’s trying-)
“Bitch I am out here doing god’s work and fixing your suicidal love life the least you could do is answer the question”. Poseidon sent a weak glare in Apollo’s direction, his eyes still filling with tears.
“It’s not weird, it's romantic.”
Apollo rolled his eyes at the statement putting down the clipboard and giving the elder god his full attention. “And I’m ugly and you’re smart hun stop lying”
“I’m smart!”, Poseidon yelled indignantly, looking downright scandalized.
“What’s 26 times 3?”
Poseidon went silent at the question drawing numbers in the air and mouthing out possible answers. Apollo stared on in amused silence (cause he’s a bitch, what a bitch) as Poseidon’s cheeks grew redder and redder the longer it took for him to answer.
“Y’know what math is for pussy’s and I am fucking a man, therefore, it’s not needed”
“What?”
“Is he dead doc?!” Poseidon burst into tears, voice thick with emotion as he gripped Snape’s arms pulling him as close to his body as possible. Apollo had to physically stop him from shaking Snape so hard he fell off the bed.
“Will you stop that?!” He sneered, grabbing the sea king's hands forcing them to remain in his lap.
“Sorry”, Poseidon sniffed trying to remove a hand to rub at his eyes and failing, “I’m emotional”
“I noticed. God Poseidon what’s up with you?”. Finally letting go of Poseidon’s hands Apollo turned back to his research sending a mildly concerned glance back at his uncle. He was weird but not this weird.
Poseidon shrugged, lifting himself up on the bed, curling himself into the sleeping man’s chest. It was warm there and in this position, Poseidon could hear Snape’s heartbeat. Anything to remind himself Snape was alive. He wasn’t leaving him. He was alive.
Apollo sent one more glance the young man's way before delving into his medical report regarding the potion master’s condition. Poseidon of course despite knowing how important this information was, wasn’t listening because he was Poseidon and listening was of course for people who were not Poseidon… which he was.
Snuggling deeper into Snape’s chest, Poseidon let Apollo’s clipped voice drag on in the distance as he traced shapes on the silky skin in front of him. Heat emanated from the wizard and licking his lips Poseidon took the time to once again study the man before him. With lush black hair that rested limply on his frail shoulders and pale, delicate skin, resembling porcelain he was definitely pretty. Not to mention those small, shy lips that felt so loving yet spiteful drawn slightly making him look both peaceful and upset at the same time. And those long lean legs, just peeking out of those unforgivingly conservative robes the man insisted on wearing. And that perfect ass all perky and round always swinging just out of reach. Don’t even get Poseidon started on his body type all gentle curves and sharp edges, the man was a literal piece of art that Poseidon could look upon for hours.
Pushing his legs tighter together Poseidon hoped to be able to ignore the growing bulge in his pants. Chaos. he hadn’t even gotten to the man’s dick yet and he was already hard. At least let him have time to describe the perfection that is Snape’s very evil and destructive penis before he goes all hot and bothered in the doctor's office.
“I can hear you panting from all the way over here. Jesus Poseidon if you aren’t gonna listen to me talking about THE LITERAL WELL BEING OF YOUR PLEASURE STICK OVER THERE, the least you could do is not start acting like a bitch in heat halfway through”. With that lovely and well-worded complaint, Apollo dug a couple coins out of his coat pocket and threw them in the sea god’s face. “Here’s a bit of change, go pay someone to fuck you up and then come back I do not need my office smelling like horny sea gods”
Poseidon pouted, puffing up his still red cheeks. “And who’s to say I would need to pay someone?”
Apollo smirked at the cute green-eyed boy (what? They were still engaged even if it was probably a joke) because you’re you and by now it’s common knowledge on Olympus you’re crazy as fuck.”
“I personally resent that but fine”, with a mischievous glint in his eye that Apollo had come to both love and fear Poseidon threw the change back in the blond man’s face, “you fuck me instead”.
Apollo dropped his pen and Poseidon dropped his pants.
“You cannot be serious”, he raised an unamused eyebrow and took a deep breath, sending a heated glimpse towards Snape's sleeping form. “We are literally right next to your boyfriend. You’re straddling him right now!”
Poseidon wiggled his eyebrows quickly pulling off his shirt. “Kinky”. Laying his head down on Snape’s chest Poseidon made sure to present his ass high up in the air, even giving it a little shake for emphasis. Dam was he smart for wearing his white-washed, skin-tight underwear today, they always made his ass look full and alluring.
Pinching the bridge of his nose, Apollo gave another heart-wrenching sigh. He did not have the energy to deal with Poseidon today. Not him or his legendary ass, because if there was anything else that was public knowledge on Olympus it was that Poseidon had the best ass. The fact every. Single. Resident. Could say something about it, however, said a lot more about Poseidon than even the sea god was willing to admit probably.
“You know I’ve probably slept with every single god on Olympus and they’ve all got good reviews- even Ares- so I know I’m good”.
Nevermind, bitch was proud.
Taking another deep breath Apollo once again attempted to talk sense into the sea god. “Poseidon. No. Your boyfriend is Right. There.”
Poseidon frowned looking up at the wizards sleeping face. It was silent for a few moments with Poseidon staring intensely at Snape’s face and Apollo staring literally anywhere else when an ear-piercing scream filled the air. With the air of someone who has suffered literal centuries of this same treatment, Apollo turned towards the source of the sound. The source of course being Poseidon squealing in what could only be characterized as fangirl adoration as he snuggled Snape closer and closer to his chest.
“Of course I would never forget you, my little slippy! You’ll always be my number one okay! Of course, how could even begin anyone compare to you?!!!”
“Oh my gods, Poseidon Shut up! Just take your potion dude and leave!”
A momentary pause was made in Poseidon's gushing as he processed what Apollo just said. They could leave? But what about Snape? He hadn’t even woken up yet??
When voicing his concerns (“???”, “How the fuck did you say that?!”) Poseidon graciously replied “Dude I could have healed him like an hour ago, I just wanted to spend time with you - which was a mistake - but give him this and he should be fine in like a day”, he looked tired with blond strands sticking haphazardly out of his makeshift bun and yet fondness shone in his eye as he watched Poseidon light up with glee at the news that his beloved would be okay.
“Wait a second you could have cured him this whole time?!”, Poseidon’s delight was twisted with confusion as he looked upon the tired medical god.
Apollo clapped his hands together brightly and smiled as large as he could at his old friend.
“Yep”
“Okay”
And just like that Poseidon was gently raising Snape up princess style and carrying him out of the doors of the clinic. Waving to Apollo as he left he flashed himself into the living room of that faithful apartment, and gently laid the half-blood prince on the couch. He’s surprisingly light Poseidon noted as he settled the man in with a blanket and pillow. Laying a small kiss on the man’s forehead Poseidon whispered “Till next time slippy”. Maybe he was imagining it but he swore he saw those precious lips raise just a fraction of an inch.
Chaos, this boy really shouldn’t make Poseidon blush so much.