Cor phlebotomans

September 16th, and Hermione was finally clean and resembled a human being again. Her hair wasn’t as frizzy as it had been during the battle. It was shiny and fell in waves and not unruly curls. There wasn’t a permanent layer of dirt and swear clinging to her. There weren’t any wounds. There wasn’t any blood. She didn’t look like she had spent the last year on the run. The only reminder was burning a hole through her sweater. Her scar, an angry red and ugly. Mudblood, Mudbood, rang in her ears. She could still feel the pain that she had received at Bellatrix’s wand. It would never go away, she figured, the memory of the pain and the fear. Maybe she was doomed to jump at every loud noise and always reach for her wand first.
“Well, you are a bit late but that isn’t a problem. We will just sort you today at the evening meal- classes haven’t really started yet either. So you should be able to catch up.”

Headmaster Dippet was smiling at her. He didn’t know. Dumbledore was standing next to her, his hand on her shoulder. They had made up a story. It was short but believable. Her family died in a terrible accident, Dumbledore was a family friend. He had taken her in and wants to send her to Hogwarts now. It was her first time here. She will be sorted. She was a Gryffindor, she wanted to say. She didn’t.
“Yes, it will superb for you to be here. You’ll see. You will make friends fast and if you need anything, you can always come to me, my girl. My doors are open for you.”
Hermione only nodded. She really wasn’t in the mood to make a good impression on the headmaster. She really didn’t care. Even if she had to stay in this time. Everything seemed so unimportant to her.

She guessed that she still was in shock. The time after a war was always a difficult time. Finding back to normalcy was hard. She knew that. With time she will start to care again. The pain of having lost Harry and Ron will never vanish but she will forget, she will look back at her times with them and feel happiness and not start to ache all over. They weren’t dead after all, at least she didn’t know. Would probably never know.

“Thank you headmaster for being so welcoming.”, she finally said after the silence had become too much for her. It reminded her too much of the Malfoy dungeon, too much of the woods in the morning when the air was still crisp, too much of the last moment before the big battle, when everything and everyone had seemed frozen.
“Do you know anything of the houses here? We have four of them, named after the founders of this school and every student will be sorted into one of the houses. Slytherin, the house of the ambitious, shrewd and cunning. Slytherins are strong leaders and are achievement-oriented. They also have highly developed senses of self-preservation. This means that Slytherins tend to hesitate before acting, so as to weigh all possible outcomes before deciding exactly what should be done. Gryffindors are brave and act before thinking but they always have the best interests in mind. Ravenclaws are intelligent, creative and honour literature and science. Hufflepuffs are kind-hearted and mild in their temper but can be fiercely protective. Which one, do you think will you be sorted into?”

“I couldn’t possibly say, Headmaster. But I think I have an idea.”, Hermione didn’t elaborated. She had a feeling she knew which house she would be sorted into. She wasn’t a Gryffindor anymore. The war had made her too self-preserving. Being on the run for months at end will change a person.
“Well, if you don’t have anything against it, Albus, I’d say you spend the day with Hermione and show her around so that she can familiarize herself with her new school. Maybe show her Hogsmeade. You will see, my dear girl that life still has its bright places and you will be able to make happy memories here. Don’t you worry, time can heal any wounds.”
Hermione nodded, the words of the Professor hitting too close to home. He was right though. Of course he was. Tears pricked her eyes. She fiercely blinked them away.
“Thank you, Headmaster, you have been most gracious.”
~
“I believe you will be in need of clothes and school supplies. As I believe that you won’t be in need of familiarizing yourself with Hogwarts, I say we head to Hogsmeade and purchase everything you will be needing.”
Together they walked through the empty corridors. The sun was shining through the many windows. Hermione savoured the rays of sunshine that warmed her skin. It reminded her of the good moments last year. When Harry, Ron and her had had a second of peace. When they were walking through a field and the sun was shining. When nobody had talked. When she was looking at a like and watching the sun being reflected in glittering spots scattered over the surface. It reminded her that even in the worst situations there were good parts if you only looked for them.

“I don’t have any money, Albus.”, Hermione suddenly said, remembering that she came here with nothing but her clothes, wand and time turner. Instinctively she clutched her chest again, savouring the familiar feel of the turner.
“That won’t be a problem. I will gladly help you out Hermione. I don’t really spend any money anyway. So this will be a pleasure, truly.”
“Thank you, that is very gracious.”, after hesitating a moment Hermione continued, “I was wondering Albus, I don’t know anything about forties fashion…”, she felt stupid even saying it. But she knew that tight fitting jeans and t-shirts were probably not acceptable.
“That is a good question and for clothes I would say we head to Diagon Ally, they will have everything you will need.”
“Diagon Ally?”, Hermione asked, stunned, “but then we will have to…”

“Apparate, yes. Will you hold on to my hand?”, They had left school grounds. Hermione grabbed his hand and was instantly pulled away. She knew they were apparating side by side. She had done it a thousand times. The nausea didn’t even hit her anymore like it had done before. It felt natural.
“Quite impressing, you didn’t even flinch…”, Dumbledore gazed down at her. They had landed on Diagon Ally.
Hermione suddenly wanted to cry. It looked so heart achingly normal. Not like it did during the war. Nobody used to set foot in Diagon Ally anymore lest they absolutely had to. Every corner had crawled with thugs and dark magic. Not in this time. Everything was bright. Woman in long dresses and flowing hair, men in suits and children in colourful clothes milled around. Everything was so full of life. Hermione looked around, taking it all in. She felt strangely content but at the same time as if she didn’t belong. Which she really didn’t.

“Follow me”, Dumbledore threw over his shoulder before walking away, heading for one of the shops.
The day went by faster than Hermione anticipated. They went from one shop to the next. Sometimes Dumbledore would leave her for herself and wander of himself. They bought dresses, skirts, stockings, shoes and to her embarrassment knickers. Dumbledore was gracious enough to eat ice-cream with her. Everything felt so normal. She felt slightly uncomfortable with that many people around her. She was scared, she realized, even if there wasn’t any imminent danger. She tried to ignore it.
They returned to Hogsmeade at five in the afternoon. The sun was still shining but it had a tinge of red in it. The sky was a wonderful blue, the fields around the small village were as green as in early spring.
“Why don’t you get yourself a treat from honey dukes?” Dumbledore smiled down at her, his eyes crinkling. He put a few gallons in her hand and pushed her in the direction of the brightly coloured shop. “You deserve it Hermione. You were very brave today.”
Hermione nodded. It was ridiculous how difficult it was to just be normal again.

She wandered into the shop, taking in the familiar smell. At least this hadn’t changed much. Her skirt (she had immediately changed to something more time-appropriate while buying clothes) made an unfamiliar swishing sound as it whispered against her calves. She wandered through the store, looking at the students that happily strolled through the aisles. Looking at the chocolate section, she stopped in front of the dark, rich bars. They truly looked delicious. When was the last time she had had chocolate? She really couldn’t remember. It had been a long time. It made her think of her parents. They had been dentist. They would definitely not have approved.
She grabbed a bar. She deserved this, didn’t she?

“A very good choice. I myself favour the dark ones over those light, sugary bars. They make my teeth hurt.”
Startled Hermione whirled around, her hand instinctively going to her wand, a stupefy already ready to leave her lips. Before her stood a boy, no a young man, with broad shoulders, dark hair that was sleekly styled to keep off his forehead. His skin was unblemished and incredibly pale. He was, Hermione realized, truly beautiful, a kind of beauty that hurts to look at. She also realized she hadn’t said anything in a very long time and had just stared at him, which was stupid, she was Hermione not some airheaded idiot.
“I favour them too.”, she said plainly, not looking to engage in a conversation if that boy was… well that. Even if the boy was so handsome it nearly broke her heart but it made her think of Ron and how she never thought of him as startlingly beautiful even though at the time she had thought herself to be in love with him. He had been… what? Passable? He had been there. That was probably the reason for the crush she had had. She glanced at the boy again. Why hadn’t they had men like that in her time? The boy was probably completely stupid and incompetent. Hermione had learned that the pretty ones usually were. That was the reason why everybody had been so bloody surprised at the Yule ball. Because Hermione had been clever and a book-worm, she shouldn’t have been pretty. She should have stayed ugly.
“Well, then I feel obligated to purchase it for you, Miss…?”, the boy asked, smiling lightly. It did not reach his eyes and Hermione felt instantly wary. Something about this boy was off. As much as he pulled her in, like a flame did a moth, he also pushed her away with his perfect acting skills and impenetrable charming front he put up.
“Thank you, that won’t be necessary.”, Hermione answered, clutching the chocolate closer to her as if cared that he would rip it from her.
“Oh, but I insist.”, he said. The way he smiled made Hermione uncomfortable. It was fake, so much she knew. She handed over the bar, not wanting to fight.
“Granger. My name is Granger. Hermione Granger.”, she finally added giving him a half-hearted smile.
“Pleasure, Hermione, my name is Tom, Tom Riddle.”

Everything seemed to freeze, she didn’t dare to make an abrupt move, show any indication that she knew that name. Knew that Tom Riddle was Voldemort. Of course things could only get worse. What was she supposed to do? She could kill him, rid the world of Voldemort and make it a better place, wasn’t that what Dumbledore had said. She was still clutching her wand, the wood digging into her flesh. She could do it but he was just a boy. He didn’t look innocent but he hadn’t done anything to harm her in any way. She didn’t want to kill. The world had seen too much death, she had seen too much blood already. She wasn’t the one to decide who got to die or who got to live. Only because the edges of good and bad had blurred during the war and every one of them had done things that were questionable didn’t mean that killing was acceptable. Not for the greater good, not for saving future lives.

Dumbledore was right, this was a different reality, she would never return and the boy that stood before her wasn’t responsible for the crimes his future-self did. Even if she knew that Tom had already had made Horcruxes and therefore had killed people, it still wasn’t her place. Who knew who would arise in his stead? Maybe someone worse. She wouldn’t do anything to make this timeline worse. Would you kill Hitler if you could travel in time was the muggle equivalent, she mused. For children or youths the answer almost always had yes, I would. Their understanding of moral was limited and unenvolved. It was easy to say, I would kill for the greater good. In the end, however, the right answer had always been no. Neither was it morally justifiable nor was it wise as nobody could truly tell what would happen in his stead. Killing someone was never an option.
“I can’t but think that I don’t know you. I have not seen you around. Are you new?”, Tom asked his tone polite. They stopped at the counter and he paid for her chocolate. It was absolutely surreal. Hermione wanted to laugh and maybe cry. He was standing close to her, his arm nearly brushing her. Clever, Hermione thought. An easy way to establish trust was to casually invade the other person’s personal space.
“Yes, I am new, I will be sorted at dinner.”, Hermione replied nonchalantly.
Tom looked exited. Why, Hermione didn’t know.
“That is fabulous, so little happens at Hogwarts. Have you already heard about the houses?”, he said and to Hermione’s surprise there was actual excitement in his voice. He smiled down at her. A kind of real smile this time and it made Hermione feel weird, because this was Voldemort for god’s sake. But the smile made him even more handsome.
“Yes”, Hermione said with a bit more venom than intended, trying to get rid of these strange feelings she had. She still wasn’t sure if shouldn’t just kill him. Ron would have. Harry probably would have. But Ron was cruel in his own stupid way. She had seen how he took pleasure from seeing those, who he thought evil, die. Harry wasn’t like that. He had always had more of a bleeding heart. Like herself. Maybe he wouldn’t have been able to do it, just like she couldn’t bring herself to do it.

“Well, I am in Slytherin. I believe it is the best house but opinions differ very much you will find. If you want I can show you around in Hogwarts, it would be my duty as headboy.”, Tom said as the lady finally returned his change. He smiled again, this time it was definitely not a real smile and he looked too greedy when he offered her to show he around. She was new, Hermione realized, she was new and therefore a challenge and interesting. He was trying to see if she was worth collecting.
“I will have to decline, Professor Dumbledore already showed me around.“, Hermione answered, uncomfortable again at how close he was standing. It wasn’t close enough to warrant a glare and a step back but it was still too close. He looked surprised at her mention of Dumbledore, his eyes narrowing, before he schooled his face back into a polite smile. He had expected her to say yes. Had expected her to be eager to spend time with, after all he was the spitting image of the perfect boy, polite, handsome and charming. She narrowed her eyes and didn’t break eye contact.

“Ah yes, I see…”, Tom’s tone was suddenly not as polite as it was a second before. They had arrived outside and he was looking at Dumbledore with open disdain. “I’ll leave you to it then, hopefully I will see you at dinner.”, with that he walked away briskly. Hermione stood still for few seconds. Letting it all sink in. Her life really had gone to shit, hadn’t it?
~
She wore the forties appropriate school uniform that was given to her when she finally entered the great hall. Shocked she stopped and just looked. Everything was like it used to be in her years in Hogwarts. The ceiling was enchanted so that clouds were hanging over the tables the students were sitting at. The whole room was filled with laughter and people talking in all directions, the tables were filled with all kinds of food.
The last time Hermione had seen it, everything had been grey and lifeless. The window shattered, the walls crumbling, the tables destroyed, wooden splinter and rubble littering the stony floor. The sight of this great hall, still intact and so beautifully alive, was… unhinging. Hermione felt sad to her very core. Why had she been born to such a time? She thought of Harry and Ron. Why had they been born to such a time? None of them deserved that, none. Maybe she could change everything. Make Harry have a better life, at least in this reality.

“Are you quite alright, Hermione, was it?”
She had been lost in her own thoughts, something that she hadn’t been for years. Constant vigilance had been the motto.
She turned around, a bit too forceful, her hand instantly going to her wand and clutching it in a tight grip. She found herself staring into dark eyes that spoke of extraordinary intelligence and cunningness. They were staring back at her intently with a good measure of mistrust in them. Of course Voldemort didn’t trust her. He probably saw right through her polite demeanour and saw that she hated him. She did, didn’t she? It was hard to associate this boy, this student, with the snake like creature she knew as Voldemort. It was… unhinging, again. But then again she was unhinged, a war did that to everyone, she supposed.
“Perfectly fine, thank you. Thomas, was it?”, she said, just to spite him.

“Just Tom.”, Tom answered, his brow furrowing. Hermione just hummed non-committedly, her eyes leaving his aggravatingly beautiful face.
“Well, it’s been a pleasure but I will have to get going.”, she finally said, walking away without glancing back. She felt Tom’s eyes on her back. She knew he didn’t trust her. Well, the feeling really was mutual but she hoped he wouldn’t pursue his interest with her. She wasn’t sure how well she could lie to him. She wasn’t a good liar.
“Ah Miss Granger, just on time.”, Headmaster Dippet said cheerfully when she approached the table the Professors were seated at. The hall had become quieter, everyone wondering why a lone student dared to approach the table. She didn’t care, being in a war had unsensitised her in many ways. Being the centre of unwanted attention was hardly the worst thing she had ever experience. Being Harrys friend had more often than not brought on a lot of hate.
“Dear students at Hogwarts.”, Dippet announced to the room that had gone deathly silent now, “We will be sorting someone today so that she can begin her education as soon as possible. Please take a seat, Miss Granger.”, the Headmaster gestured to a lone stool. In his right hand he was carrying the hat. Hermione eyed it with disdain. Not this again.
The worn leather seated upon her head felt like it did in first year. Oddly familiar.

What do we have here?, she heard it say inside her head. Let’s get this over with, she thought back hauntingly. Oh yes, the lion is coming through, but at heart you aren’t one anymore, are you? I suppose not, things have changed, she thought. Yes, I think we both know you are too self-preserving to be a Gryffindor, you have seen too much to be that unthinkingly brave anymore.
“SYLTHERIN”, the hat shouted, confirming what Hermione had already known for some time now. She had changed, drastically so, but while Harry and Ron would have been devastated, she knew that it wasn’t necessarily for the worse. It all depended on what you did with that change, now wasn’t it?