One More Shot (Oneshot collection)

<<Shit, Y/N’s home, Y/N’s home!>>

Alarmed whispers and jarring sounds of moving furniture were what welcomed the H/C-haired girl in the apartment she shared with her boyfriend, and occasionally -much more often than one might think- his best friend.

Suspicious, to say the least.

The young woman took a deep breath, mentally preparing herself for whatever could be waiting for her in the house. Her preparation should have been a little more physical, however, as all the years she’d spent with her other half should have taught her.

Maybe she decided to have some faith in him, even just a little…

That trust resulted in her almost face-planting against the floor after tripping over something. Luckily, two strong arms caught her before severe injures occurred

<<Y/N! Are you ok?>>

She tilted her head upward, meeting the young man’s steely grey eyes, filled with concern. 

Well, at least for that she could count on him.

The thought brought a smile to her face, but it was quickly wiped off her face when she took in the state of the room

<<What the hell, Sirius?>>

Cardboard boxes, sellotape shreds, bolts and screws littered the floor, along with some tools like hammers and… Was that a saw?

Parts of what she guessed were supposed to be chairs and a couch completed the mix. All in all, it looked like a jenga game gone wrong.

The sheepish twenty-something wizard awkwardly scratched the nape of his neck, avoiding her gaze

<<Well, you see…>>

<<Yes, I do see! The living room is a mess! Did a bomb explode in here or something?>>

In the corner, James was crouching out of sight behind what should have been the back piece of the sofa

<<No, wait; a bomb would have caused less damage than you two>>

<<I’m sorry! We needed new chairs after the, uhm… Accident>>

Y/N crossed her arms, pinning him with a glare

<<Oh, you’re talking about the time you got drunk, changed into Padfoot and chewed all the legs off the furniture?>>

He gulped guiltily, still not looking at her.

Merlin knows what would have happened if Remus had not intervened to restrain him

<<Uh, yeah>>

<<And?>>

<<We went to that strange store muggles call I… I…>>

<<I… What?>>

<<Wait, it’s on the tip of my tongue…>>

<<Su->>

<<Prongs, what the hell was it called?>>

<<I… Ig… Ice…>>

<<Are you two talking about IKEA?>>

<<YES!>> The two Marauders exclaimed in unison <<How did you know?>>

<<I’m a muggle-born, remember?>>

Sirius smirked

<<Darling, how could I ever forget? My parents’ reaction when they found out I’m dating you will be forever burned in my mind>>

It was Y/N’s turn to grin at the prospect of stumping her significant other

<<Really now? Is that the only reason you are dating me, Sirius?>>

He rushed to her side, taking her hands in his and spewing reassurances so fast that she had trouble understanding him

<<No, of course not. I love you, your beauty, your sense of humor, your intelligence, your kindness…>>

Sirius was a little flustered; Y/N giggled

<<Are you done, darling?>>

<<Uhm, yeah>>

<<Good. Now, shall we take care of this mayhem together?>>

Both boys nodded fervently, making the female chuckle

<<Awesome. Will one of you hand me the instructions sheets, please?>>

That simple question was enough to make them freeze like two criminals caught red-handed

<<I’m scared of asking, but I’ll take the chance… What happened to those papers?>>

Her boyfriend looked like the statues outside the Hogwarts castle; his best friend hesitantly lifted his hand, pouting at a pile of scraps in the corner

<<What the hell?>>

Y/N suddenly had the feeling that she would be repeating that sentence a lot more during this absurd conversation

<<Well, you see…>>

<<No, this time I do not see! Why would you do that?>>

The young witch cocked an eyebrow, crossing her arms with a snort

<<Please: I’ve seen you in action as Padfoot>>

<<Alright… I may have chewed them out of frustration>>

<<Very mature>>

<<They were unintelligible! I was going crazy! I mean, look at this chair!>> He exploded, pointing at the piece of furniture by her side.

At first, Y/N merely glanced at it, not finding anything out of the ordinary. Then, she froze; her brain refused to elaborate what she saw, so she slowly turned around again and came face to face with… An unusual sight, to put it nicely

<<What the hell?>>

Yes, the feeling was right

<<What is this? It looks like something out of a modern art museum!>>

In spite of themselves, Sirius and James laughed, unable to hold back. Her glare brought them back in line though

<<Would one of you care to tell me why this damn chair has eight legs?>>

<<The drawings->>

<<Wait wait wait wait wait>> She held up a hand, trying to prepare herself again <<So you’re telling me you read the instructions->>

<<We read them!>> 

<<And still managed to get this result?>>

<<I did!>>

For the second time, Y/N pinned him with a  harsh glare, making him squirm uncomfortably

<<Okay, I tried…>>

Her scowl worsened

<<Well, I tried to want to?>>

In the corner, James was still hiding behind the back piece of the couch.

The woman let out a long, frustrated sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose

<<I can’t believe you two…>>

<<Hey, did you expect us to understand Swedish?>>

<<The English version is written on the back, you idiots!>>

<<Oh>> They gaped

<<Don’t “oh” me>> The exasperated female scolded, taking in again the chaos the living room had been reduced to

<<There better be no more surprises in the house>>

<<Well, we were thinking of tackling the bed, but->>

<<No!>> She hastened to stop them <<You know what? Why don’t you two go buy groceries or something and I’ll deal with this… Octopus chair and the rest of your bedlam>>

At that, the other guy immediately ran out of the house, leaving his best mate to face his unnerved girlfriend. He just gave her an enormous smile and pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her

<<How on Earth did I ever get so lucky to be loved by you?>>

<<The real question is, what did I ever do to deserve you?>> She mumbled in his chest, making him cackle

<<You lucked out, darling>>

<<It wasn’t a compliment, you dumbass>>

The coal-haired wizard let out a belly laugh, pecking her on the forehead

<<I don’t care what you did, but I am grateful you did it; my life wouldn’t be even half as wonderful without you in it>>

The S/C-skinned witch raised her face to look him in the eyes, smiling sweetly

<<You managed to placate my fury, but it’s not gonna last long, so I suggest you apparate as far away as you can while I can still keep my killing instincts at bay>>

<<Roger that, my love. I’ll see you later!>>

With that, he was gone.

Y/N chortled, shaking her head in amusement

<<Whatever it is I did, Sirius, I am immensely grateful I did it too…>>

She pulled out her wand and got to work.

A couple of hours later the house looked fit to live in again. All pieces of furniture had the correct number of legs and there was no litter on the floor; it was spic and span.

That was the sight that greeted Sirius when he decided to go back home. It made him smile as he headed to their shared bedroom.

There, he found his girlfriend lying on the bed, taking a rest after working out the mess he’d made. To make up for it he’d bought her a bunch of F/F and a plushie

<<Y/N?>>

<<Mh…>>

<<Darling, could you wake up a moment?>>

Her eyes fluttered open and she sat up, stretching and yawning

<<What is it? What did you do now?>>

Chuckling, the young man revealed his surprise

<<Well, I wanted to give you something to thank you for being so wonderful to me and tolerating all the trouble I stir>>

The smile she gave him made him melt. She accepted the flowers but, before she could move a muscle, he put them in a vase that was somehow already on the bedside table.

The plushie made her giggle

<<Dear, it’s ok. You are a wonderful boyfriend, you just suck at putting together furniture.

You really need to learn, though>>

He furrowed in confusion

<<Why? We don’t need anything else from I… Ic… Ig…>>

<<IKEA, Sirius, and yes, we do need one more thing>> She informed him with another yawn, getting back under the covers

<<What would it be, my dear?>>

<<A crib>> She murmured.

Four letters.

That was all it took for a wizard who’d faced countless Death-eaters to freeze on the spot

<<A c- A cri- Y/N?! Are you->>

A teddy to the face was his answer

<<Yes, yes I am. Now let me sleep>>

The H/C-haired witch did not see the tears pooling in her boyfriend’s eyes, nor the humongous smile stretching his lips.

He lay down beside her and slowly, cautiously, rested his hand on her abdomen

<<How on Earth did I ever get so lucky to be loved by you?>>

That was the last thing he said before succumbing to sleep.

Sirius did not see her smile either, but he did feel her squeezing his hand.

He was looking forward to their next trip to Ic- Ih- whatever the hell that store was called.