Sirius-8
**TRIGGER WARNING** Talking about child abuse
“Alice, hey!”
“Sirius!” Alice smiled at Sirius and slowed her pace so he could catch up, “What’s up?”
“I spoke to Lupin yesterday. He and his gang want to apologise properly to you, if you will speak to them. They really are sorry, according to Lupin, and want to tell you in person. Will you try and talk to them?” Sirius said, tucking a stray piece of hair behind his ear.
Alice sighed, “Are you sure? DO they really want to apologise?”
“They do! Lupin was really upset and sincere.”
“Alright. I’ll give them a chance. If you’ve got Lupin’s number, please tell him I’ll meet them at the lake at three today,” Alice said.
“Will do. Thanks Al,” Sirius smiled and hugged Alice, before walking off towards his next class, texting Remus as he went.
Hi. Just spoken to Alice. She is willing to meet you at the lake at 3 today.
***
A few days later
Sirius was nervous. It was four pm and he was waiting by Madam Puddifoot’s tea shop for Remus. The two were planning on getting a drink from the shop then going for a walk around Hogsmeade, to the lake and up to the Shrieking Shack, so called for the way the wind whistled through the cracks and holes in the walls, sounding like a person screaming.
Alice and Remus had both said that the Marauders had apologised, and Remus had organised this. Sirius was excited but scared. He didn’t know what to say, or do, and he didn’t want it to be awkward. Though it most likely will be.
“Sirius, hi there,” Remus walked up beside Sirius and smiled, “Wanna grab drinks?”
“Sure,” Sirius said, and they walked into the shop. They came out a few minutes later with their drinks; Sirius – a chocolate milkshake, Remus – a mango smoothie, “Shall we go?”
“Yeah. The Shack. Let’s go,” Remus said, sipping his drink. They wandered through Hogsmeade on their way to the Shrieking Shack, stopping every now and again to peer through the shop windows. Sirius actually insisted that they go into Tomes and Scrolls once he spotted a book he wanted to read. They decided to race each other up to the Shack and when they finally arrived at the Shrieking Shack, they had already finished their drinks and were both laughing.
“Jesus Sirius,” Remus said, “You sure can run.”
Sirius grinned at his small victory in being able to outrun Remus, “Why thank you Mr. Lupin,” He bowed and collapsed onto the grass, smiling up at Remus, who rolled his eyes and sat next to Sirius on the ground.
“Git,” He said affectionately.
There was a pause, where both boys had to catch their breath. Who knew running up a hill used so much energy?
“Anyway,” Remus continued, “We talked to Alice. She was okay, just very pissed at us.”
“Yeah. She was quite upset after. You lot can be jerks,” Sirius said.
“We know,” Remus sighed.
“Are you okay?”
“Hm? Oh... Yeah. I’m fine. You?”
“I’m good. But... I miss you. I want our friendship back,” Sirius sat up and faced Remus, “You’ve apologised to Alice, she was okay with it, I don’t see why we can’t have our friendship back. If you want...?”
Remus was silent for a second, long enough for Sirius to wonder if he had said the wrong thing, until,
“I miss you too. And yeah. I want our friendship back too. Try again?” Remus held his hand out and Sirius shook it.
“Try again,” He grinned, flopping back onto his front, lying in the grass, “Oh, and thanks for when you stopped Snape and Crouch. That was decent of you.”
“Hey, it’s not a problem. They were gunna reveal your past, and I didn’t think you wanted the, too. And, I don’t take kindly to people discriminating against the LGBTQ community. We are people, just the same as them. It’s not fair.”
“We?”
“Oh... I... Er...” Remus blushed and rubbed the back of his neck, “Yeah. I’m gay.”
“Cool,” Sirius turned his head to smile up at Remus, “Thanks for stopping them.”
“No worries.”
They sat in comfortable silence for a moment and Sirius was having an internal crisis. Remus was gay... So... They might have a chance? Maybe? AAHH! And also, should he tell Remus about his past? Or should he not? Maybe he should. He knew Remus well enough, and if the two of them were going to have a relationship, he deserved to know. BUT THEY MIGHT NOT EVEN HAVE A RELATIONSHIP! They were friends again now sure... But a relationship? As real-life boyfriends? Jesus Christ. Why was life so confusing? He made his decision... And he hoped that he wouldn’t regret it. He sighed, sitting up again to face Remus.
“Hey, Remus,” He said, at the exact same time Remus said,
“Hey, Sirius.”
They both blushed slightly and laughed, Remus rubbing the back of his neck, Sirius playing with the cuffs of his jumper.
“Er... You go first,” Sirius said, smiling shyly.
“Okay, thanks,” Remus said, “Um... So, I get it if you don’t want to answer coz, I guess it’s really personal, but… When you were at hospital... I overheard two doctors, Lex and Jason, I think they were, and they were talking about you. Jason was saying stuff like, ‘again? What happened this time’ and Lex told him about your car accident. And Jason said like, ‘it’s not the usual case’ and Lex said no you were disowned and live with Alya now. And... Well... I was wondering what happened? You don’t have to answer at all... And I’m sorry if I’ve-”
“Remus, hey,” Sirius cut Remus off and he was smiling slightly, “That is what I was gunna tell you. I figured you would find out eventually and I wanted it to come from me, haha.”
“Oh, okay,” Remus grinned encouragingly at Sirius.
“Right. Just so you know, this is a long story, and I might cry.”
“No problem. Take your time and you can stop whenever.”
“Thanks... So... My parents were... Are... Not the best. They were very prejudice and ya know... Racist, homophobic... Upper class arseholes. Rich and horrible. From a young age, they drilled their beliefs into me and my brother, Regulus, and expected us to follow in their footsteps. From the beginning, I was very... Opposed to their beliefs. I hated how they discriminated against people of colour, LGBTQ people, poorer people... So, I started to rebel. I would hang out with the poorer kids at school, stand up against them when they discriminated... I wouldn’t follow them. And they couldn’t deal with that...” Sirius paused, wiping his eyes.
“They started to... To punish me... Whenever I opposed them... They would hurt me. It started as a slap, or a kick... Then it developed to a whipping and a beating... Maybe a cut or two if I really wasn’t behaving. Sometimes... The... punishments would be so bad... I would have to go to St. Mungo’s. That is why Jason said it’s not the usual case. Coz I would usually be in hospital for my parent's beatings. The hospital only found out it was my parents doing the beatings when I was disowned and Alya told them. My parents would always tell them it was school bullies, or I had fallen down a hill or whatever excuse they could come up with. I have multiple scars from the... Punishments. Anyway. They would never touch Reggie... Coz he was a good boy and did everything they said... But he hated it there. We-we both did. It was hell. And then...” He was now full on crying and Remus put an arm around his shoulders.
“It’s okay. You’re safe here. You don’t have to continue,” He said, rubbing Sirius’s back.
“No, I-I will,” Sirius took a deep breath, “And then I came out as bi when I was sixteen, had a go at them... Like, a really big go at them... And they made me go to my room and pack everything I need. They were so calm... It was terrifying,” Sirius looked so haunted, as if he was reliving his trauma.
“I did just that. I packed all my things. I had very little things. I got it all in two backpacks. Then they called me down to the living room. I had to bring my bags... They punished me so much. More than they had ever done, and I was surprised they didn’t kill me... After that, I was so weak... I couldn’t move. My mum shoved me in the car with my bags... I didn’t even get to say goodbye to Reggie... And she drove off. Drove for ages. Dumped me in a field somewhere. Told me never to come back and I was no longer part of the Black family. I lay there ‘till I got very cold... Then I made myself get up and I walked around with my bags... Realised I was near Hogsmeade, so I went to find Alya. Found her and she took one look at me and took me to St. Mungo’s. I told her what had happened, and she was so upset. Decided she was my guardian and looked after me ever since... I never got to say goodbye to Reggie,” Sirius completely broke down in Remus’s arms, sobbing his heart out while Remus rubbed his back and whispered in his ear, calming him down.
“Th-that was who I had talked to when you found me having a panic attack the other day. Reggie had called... Jeez... Remus...”
“Hey, Sirius. You’re alright. That was really brave of you to share your story, and I cannot believe your parents are that shitty. It’s not fair at all, and if I had the chance, I would go find them and kill them for you,” Remus said.
Sirius laughed weakly through his tears, “Ta mate, means a lot.”
“Anytime. Wanna stay here a bit or get back?”
“Stay here. I like it up here.”
Remus smiled as he started running his fingers through Sirius’s hair, which the smaller boy liked, “Me too.”
They ended up staying by the Shack until night, watching the sunset and chatting. It was an enjoyable time.
“Do this again sometime?” Sirius asked as they walked back down the hill towards Hogsmeade.
“Absolutely. I’ll see you at college. Bye Sirius!” Remus said, waving goodbye.
“Bye!” Sirius smiled at Remus’s retreating back, his heart fluttering.
‘That was a great... Date? Was it a date?’ He thought on his way back home. He had cried, but it was worth it. He had Remus back.