Remus-7
Fuck. Just fuck. They should not have picked on Alice. They should have just met James, then gone straight to Honeydukes and Zonko’s, leaving Alice alone. But James insisted that they should torment her. And look at how well that had gone. Now Remus might’ve just lost Sirius. It wasn’t his fault. Okay, it kinda was, but he forgot that Alice and Sirius were friends. He only remembered they were when Sirius had come around the corner and shouted at them to get away from her. And then it was too late.
He groaned as he and Frank walked side by side behind James and Peter, walking down the streets of Hogsmeade towards Honeydukes. Frank gave him a sideways look and slung his arm around Remus’s shoulders.
“You’ll be alright mate. He’ll come around,” He said.
Remus looked sceptically at him, “Did you see the look on his face? He looked hurt, betrayed and angry. No. Furious. He hates me now.”
“I’m sorry. We should’ve left Mandip alone,” Frank sighed.
“Yeah. You can say that again.”
“OI! Frankie! Look!” James shouted over at Frank and pointed into Zonko’s window, where there was a display of new prank packs, “Some ideas to make chemistry more interesting?”
“Oh, Gods yes!” Frank let go of Remus and ran towards James, “Slughorn is so boring. I should get one of the chemistry kits. He’ll hate me for it, but it’ll be worth it.”
The four boys entered Zonko’s and Frank ran to get one of the chemistry prank kits, while James went to get some more dungbombs and Peter and Remus wandered around, looking at all the weird and wonderful jokes in the infamous joke shop.
“Hey, Re,” Peter grabbed Remus’s sleeve, “Wanna go to Honeydukes early? Those two will be in here for ages and I need some sweets. And you look like you could do with some too. Maybe some chocolate. C’mon.”
“Sure, hold up a sec,” Remus called to Frank, “Frankie, me and Pete are gunna go to Honeydukes while you and Jamie are in here for a bit. Meet you in there.”
“Right you are! See ya in there,” Frank called as Peter dragged Remus out of Zonko’s and towards Honeydukes.
***
The next few days were like hell for Remus. He rarely ever saw Sirius now. Occasionally he would see him around college, or in Hogsmeade with his friends, but they never spoke to each other. There might be a slight nod of the head as the two accidentally lock eyes, just to acknowledge each other, but never any spoken words. Remus was a mess without Sirius, and his friends could see it. They were more sombre now, whenever they were around Sirius or one of his friends, trying to leave them alone.
Remus felt like he was missing something without Sirius in his life. He felt like there was a hole in his soul. Which was weird, as he and Sirius never dated. Maybe it was because they had been such close friends. Friends. Remus wished he could’ve changed that. Maybe made it boyfriends, or lovers. Whichever. But now, it was too late. Sirius avoided him whenever he came near and refused to speak to him, or any of the other Marauders. It was hell.
***
“Remus. Fucking. Lupin,” James ran up behind Remus and grabbed his arm, “Bloody hell mate, just... Just slow down, okay?”
Remus looked at James, one eyebrow raised, “Oh? What’s up?”
“Jesus Re,” James grinned at him, “You are... You are... I dunno, but just...” He sighed, “Talk to me.”
“What?”
“You are upset, and you are pissed at all of us and you are angry a lot of the time.”
“Am I?” Remus asked, sounding sarcastic, “I wonder why.”
James scowled, “Fuck you.”
“You too.”
“Just... Listen. I had no idea that Mandip was a friend of Black’s. We should have left her alone. But I’m sure Black will come around. You two had a really good friendship, so you will kiss and make up. AND! You can’t just blame us. You joined in as well. You and Frank held her back. So, don’t put all the blame on us. It’s not fair,” James said, and Remus sighed.
“Yeah. Sorry. I’m just extra pissed at myself for losing a friend,” He said, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Hey, mate. I’m sure Black will see sense. He likes you Re,” James said, and Remus stared at him.
“He likes me?” He said, eyes wide.
“Oh, fuck. No. I’m pretty sure he’s straight. Sorry,” James looked sheepish.
“Nope. It’s fine Jamie. Jesus why can’t I turn back time?”
“Mood. Anyway. You gunna come with me, Frank and Pete to the lake? We’ve decided to take these exams seriously so we’re gunna do some studying.”
“Yeah sure. I could do with a distraction. Plus, I have a history essay that I could use your help with.”
“Sure! Let’s go.”
The of them left the college and made their way to the lake. On their way, they bumped into Lily, who was stood outside the post office, talking to a tall, dark boy, who Remus recognised as Kingsley Shacklebolt. When she spotted them, Lily glared at them.
“Don’t go near any of my friends. Either of you, or the rest of your gang ever again,” She hissed.
“Something happed Lils?” Kingsley said, stepping forward.
“No, just these two dickheads and their gang caught Alice outside her classroom and destroyed her German folder,” Lily said, putting her hand on Kingsley’s shoulder.
“Yeah, about that, we’re sorry,” James started.
“Save it Potter, I don’t want your apologies, just the promise that you will stay away from me and my friends. And you,” She turned to Remus, “You have no idea what you have done to Sirius. I will never forgive you for that. And I doubt he will either. So, both of you fuck off and leave us alone. Come on Kingsley.”
“Hurt her or them, and you will regret the day you ever stepped into that school,” Kingsley said simply, and turned away, following Lily towards the Three Broomsticks.
“Fuck.”
James looked sideways at his friend and slung an arm around his shoulders, pulling him away from Hogsmeade and towards the lake.
“Just forget about it for now. We have to study and you worrying about Black will not help. C’mon.”
Remus gave in to James and walked to the lake, collapsing next to Frank.
“You good there mate?” Frank asked, looking at Remus, who just grunted in response, pulling out his history homework.
“Just had a run in with Evans and that Shacklebolt dude, Kingsley, I think his name is, anyway. Evans had a small go at us. Wasn’t the nicest thing,” James said, sitting by Peter and stretching out, “God, I’ve missed coming down here. We should come here more often.”
The other three murmured their agreements and started studying their own textbooks. Remus tried to focus on his essay, but all that he could think about was what Lily had said earlier. ‘You have no idea what you have done to Sirius.’ It hurt him that he had hurt Sirius, but how? How had his actions to Alice hurt Sirius? Was it because he and Alice were really close? Or was it because of something else? Had it reminded Sirius of something? Remus’s mind flicked back to the conversation he overheard between the two doctors at the hospital.
“Oh, so it’s not the usual case?” Jason said
“No. Jason, you know that he was disowned when he was sixteen. He moved in with his aunt, Alya I think her name is, and she has been his legal guardian ever since,” Lex said.
Sirius had been disowned. Alya had told Remus that, but what had that got to do with Sirius being in hospital? ‘It’s not the usual case’ what usual case? And what did that have to do with Sirius being disowned?
Oh.
The realisation hit Remus like a bucket of ice water. He was an idiot. Such an idiot. But what could he do now? Nothing. He just had to sit back and see if Sirius would approach him. Which might never happen.
“Fuck,” He whispered, not loud enough for the others to hear. Chewing the end of his pen, be started his history work, trying to ignore the horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach.