Thief in the night
"I'm telling you he won't do it, he'll get halfway in and puss out."
"No, he wants those knickers too bad."
Draco started to pluck at the buttons of his shirt. "Fuck off both of you. This is the last time."
Blaise hummed, "you've said that every time since fourth year."
"Is there any particular reason you have to be naked?" Theo asked as the shirt hit him in the face.
"Because these are designer, I'm not leaving them in an alley. " Draco toed off his shoes, not seeing Blaise discreetly open a bin lid.
Theo's eyes meet Blaise's over Draco's shoulder. " You're right; let me hang on to those for you."
Draco threw his shoes trousers and boxers at Theo and stood there wearing nothing but moonlight. Blaise made a noise of disgust while Theo made a show of folding the clothes neatly.
"Jealous isn't becoming Blaise. "
"Quit stalling, Malfoy!"
"Fine. When I'm done, put me on the window ledge I can take it from there."
Draco closed his eyes and took a deep breath, concentrating hard on his animal form. The warmth of fur surrounded him, his spine elongated, and smells became sharper.
When he opened his eyes, Draco Malfoy was a white ferret once more.
Blaise and Theo's voices were distorted, but he was sure they were plotting something with his clothes. After being put up on the ledge and making sure his long ferret body could slide under it, he bit Blaise hard in the finger.
As luck would have it, the dresser was placed directly under the window so that Draco could drop directly onto the top. Tilting his head to get a better angle, he saw that the curly-haired witch was alone, and the room had been recently and permanently vacated by a certain ginger.
Willing his little ferret brain to focus, he nudged his nose down into the drawer’s cracks and slid down into the fabrics below.
Top floor, ladies undergarments. He thought with glee at having found the desired objects so quickly. The only color he could see was red, everything else was in varying shades of gray, but it so happened a pair of red knickers where he desired.
His first find was a red lacy bra with the tags still on it. Pulling it all the way out of the pile, he thought about curling up in one of the cups and taking a nap.
No. Knickers and go. Right underneath, he found the matching knickers by they still had tags too. He didn't want new ones that wouldn't prove anything.
"Lumos."
Fuck.
Draco took the nearest pair of knickers in his mouth and waited, sitting very still. The scratching must have awoken her. She was probably looking for a rat along on the walls, and when she didn't see one, she'd go back to sleep. Right? Right.
The inside of his pink nose began to itch from a stray piece of fur.
Don't sneeze, don't sneeze…
He sneezed, shaking his whole ferret body and the drawer. She ripped it open, and the light from her wand temporarily blinded him.
" What the - "
Hermione's warm, gentle hand closed around his middle as Draco squealed and trashed around, teeth still gripping tight to the knickers. After slamming the window shut, she set him on top of the dresser.
" Malfoy?!" With a jab of her wand and a few rapid-fire spells, Draco was human and started naked in front of Auror Hermione Granger, and a green pair of knickers still dangling from his mouth.
***
Hermione stared at him open-mouthed and then snatched the knickers from him. All she wore was a large Gryffindor tee shirt to which she kept tugging at the hem nervously.
"I can...I can see myself out. " Draco pulled himself to full height, trying to gather as much dignity as he could.
"No." She shot a wandless spell to lock the door. "Are you...are you an unregistered animagus?"
"No! I am a curse victim. A madman transfigured me against my will as a minor I might add, and I just happen to retain the ability to change back and forth. I am a victim, Granger. "
She snorted. "You're not a victim; you’re a naked lunatic and a knickers thief." Sighing, she started rummaging through her closet. "I'm going to have to bring you in."
Draco stilled, thinking very hard. If she brought him, she'd see all his other charges, the ones he'd paid to keep silent. There'd be no bribing the great and moral Hermione Granger, though.
"I don't see why that's necessary. Your knickers have been returned. I didn't cause any property damage. My clothes are waiting for me with Theo outside. "
Hermione peered past him to look out of the window. "Nope."
"Great. I'll just apparate home then."
"No, Malfoy." She pulled out a DMLE jumpsuit that dwarfed her but still didn't look as though it would cover all of him." The zips broken beyond repair but still might do the job. You'll wear this, and you'll sit in a holding cell until someone comes and gets you. "
Folding his arms across his chest, he gave her a defiant glare. " I don't think I will."
With a fiery stare at him, she flourished her wand, and he found himself in a pair of handcuffs and the jumpsuit—the handcuffs were enchanted to be resistant to magic, and he could feel them siphoning his energy away.
"Fuck."
Granger looked him over slowly, spinning the knickers on her finger. With a sly grin, she unzipped one of the jumpsuit pockets, stuffed the knickers in it, and zipped back it up.
"So you like what you see? "
"We'll talk once you’re out of my holding cell Malfoy. "
***
"Son, please tell me you were at least drunk this time. Something. Any shred of hope that you won't continue to tarnish the Malfoy name. " Lucius rubbed at his temple as Draco pulled on the robes his father had brought. Before answering, he made sure to stuff the knickers into his pocket.
"I don't know Father. I’m sure someone will come along and encourage me to fly right." He jerked his head in Granger's direction, who had taken that moment to bend over a desk to reach for something.
Lucius arched an eyebrow at the bent over witch then back at Draco.
"Should I just leave you here longer then?"
****
DAILY PROPHET
MALFOY, DRACO, age 24, was brought into ministry custody in the early morning hours. He was released to his father after paying bail. No word on what the Malfoy heir was up to this time, but one Auror was kind enough to release this mugshot taken upon his arrival.