Remus tapped his fingers on the bartop as he waited for Rosmerta to finish serving the two sixth years down the other end of the bar. Although it was a Hogsmeade weekend, the Three Broomsticks wasn’t as busy as it usually was, thanks to the blizzard brewing outside. He found himself feeling thankful that a good portion of the students had opted to stay at the castle rather than brave the outdoors. Not that he was in a rush as such. Peter just looked like he could use a good butterbeer to lift his mood a bit. He turned and looked over to where the small plump boy sat scowling as he subconsciously shredded a paper napkin. He was obviously upset about something — had been for a while, in fact — and Remus couldn’t help but feel protective over his friend. If someone was bullying him…
“Are you wanting to be served, young man?” Rosmerta’s friendly lilt caused him to jump slightly, and he found himself shaking his head to clear away his thoughts before ordering a couple of butterbeers and some hot snacks for them both to nibble on. Rosmerta, quick as ever, returned with the drinks, promising to bring the food over as soon as it was ready. Remus gratefully pressed several galleons into Rosmerta’s palm with a wink and carried the butterbeers back to the table.
“Here you go!” declared Remus, as he plonked the bottle of butterbeer in front of Peter with forced cheerfulness. “That’ll sort you right out! Nothing like a butterbeer to chase the blues away!”
“If you say so,” sighed Peter doubtfully, before giving in and taking a small tentative sip of his drink.
Remus watched him for a moment, taking in how pale the boy was, the dark circles under his worried eyes. If there was one thing he couldn’t stand it was seeing his friends upset or hurt. Whatever it was, he needed to convince Peter to talk to him about it. There was nothing he could do if he didn’t know what the problem was, after all.
“Peter, is everything ok?” Somehow he had managed to keep his voice light, so as to not pressure his friend, but when Peter simply shrugged in answer, he couldn’t stop the frown that creased his forehead.
“You would tell me if something was bothering you, wouldn’t you?” he pressed softly. Surely Peter knew that he could tell him anything? Receiving yet another shrug in response, Remus decided to press a bit more.
“Come on, I can see something’s on your mind. Why not tell me? Maybe we can sort it out?”
FInally, after a long pause during which Remus was starting to despair, Peter spoke, his voice coming out in a quiet squeak.
“It’s nothing. I just didn’t get any sleep is all.”
“It doesn’t look like nothing to me. Please, Peter, I’m worried about you.”
“I...does James not like me anymore?” breathed Peter, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment.
The whispered question took Remus by surprise, so much so that his eyebrows were sitting high on his brow.
“What makes you think that? Of course he likes you?”
“Then why didn’t he tell me about the prank?” Remus felt his forehead relax as he finally understood what Peter was talking about. The prank that James and Sirius had played on Severus the night before, the reason that they were both currently in detention and not in Hogsmeade with them.
“Oh Peter, honestly.” chuckled Remus in relief, “Is that why you’re so upset? Because they didn’t tell you about it?”
“Don’t laugh!” demanded Peter as his eyes began to rim with tears. “They’re always running off without me, making plans, playing tricks, and they never ever bother to tell me about it or ask me to join in! Why?”
“I wasn’t laughing at you, Peter. It’s just I thought you were being bullied or something.” He took a sip of his butterbeer to buy himself some thinking time before continuing. “Remember, they didn’t tell me about it either. Sometimes they like to do things just the two of them. It’s not a big deal.”
“Of course it is! He likes Sirius more than he likes me!”
“They’re best friends!”
“We’re all best friends!”
“Yes, but they’re closer. More like family, really. It’s ok that they want to pair off sometimes.”
“He never wants to pair off with just me, though…”
“Have you ever asked him to do something just the two of you?” When Peter shook his head in negation, he found himself sighing at his friend.
“You can hardly complain if you haven’t ever asked him, can you?” he reasoned, feeling as if he was suddenly back in primary school again. Of all the things he thought could be bothering Peter, this was at the bottom of the list. “Later on, when they’re out of detention, I’m probably going to spend an hour or so catching up with Sirius. Why don’t you ask James if he wants to hang out? Play some chess or exploding snap or something?”
At that moment, Rosmertta arrived at the table with a plate of chips and another plate with some cheese toasties on it, before smiling at the boys and flouncing off back towards the bar with a swish of her colourful skirts.
Peter reached out and picked up a steaming chip from the plate then looked at it dolefully. “I could, but he would just say no. I like him way more than he likes me, that’s obvious.”
“Oh come on, you don’t know that. You’re one of his mates and there’s no reason for him to say no. You’re being really silly about this.”
Peter simply shrugged at him again before proceeding to eat. Fine, thought Remus practically, if he wants to eat, then fine. Godric, what a palava over nothing. He reached for a toastie and began to eat.
One hour and two butterbeers later, Peter was looking slightly less anxious and Remus was starting to need the loo. However, before he could get up and go, Peter picked up from where they had left off.
“All I’m saying is no one cares about James more than I do; I just have no idea why he can’t see it. I should have been the one to help him with that prank, not Sirius.” Remus took a deep breath and tried to force some reasonability into his tone.
“Peter, James doesn’t belong to you. He’s your friend, as am I, as is Sirius.”
“Sirius isn’t my friend,” hissed Peter harshly. “He hates me. Always with his sly little digs and snide looks.”
”I think you’re imagining it,” insisted Remus, shaking his head to emphasise his point.
“Well, you would say that, wouldn’t you?” The insinuation behind Peter’s words caused his hackles to rise. Just what was he trying to say? That he was a mindless buffoon bumbling around after his master?
“Sirius is my boyfriend; it’s not like he’s got me under the Imperius or something. I can think for myself, you know.”
“I know; I’m sorry, Remus. I didn’t mean that, not really. I just, I don’t know. I get all angry and confused and I think these horrible thoughts, you know?”
“What kind of horrible thoughts?”
Remus watched as Peter fidgeted with the tattered remains of the paper napkin and felt his stomach squirm with an increasing feeling of dread. What on earth was upsetting Peter so much to get him in this state? And what in Merlin’s name did he mean by horrible thoughts? However, before he could get into it, he needed the loo and badly! He doubted Rosmerta would be too pleased at him marking his territory! He mumbled a quick explanation to Peter and dashed off to relieve himself.
Remus braced himself against the sink and leaned his forehead against the cool glass of the mirror. Just what the bloody hell am I meant to do? He couldn’t put his finger on it, but something was off with what Peter was saying. Yes, it was a bit jealous of him, but there was something else...an instinct that something wasn’t quite right. After a moment, he pushed himself off of the mirror and splashed some cool water onto his face. He must be picking him up wrong. Peter was harmless. Merlin, he was a shit friend to think such things about Peter. Squaring his shoulders, he strode out of the bathroom and back to his friend, determined to reassure him once and for all.
It had been half an hour and Remus felt as if he were getting nowhere. If anything, he thought he might be making the situation worse. Peter’s face, although still pale with dark shadows, was much more animated now, and his eyes had taken on a manic light.
“I’d die for him, Remus. Would Sirius?”
“Peter, what—” He felt himself floundering as he sought out the right words. As the moment drew longer, Peter obviously waiting for him to finish, he wished for any words at all. They didn’t need to be the right ones as long as they were sound.
“Don’t talk like that,” he asserted finally, fighting to keep his voice steady. “No one’s going to die for anyone.”
“But if we had to, I would,” insisted Peter, his grip on his bottle of butterbeer tightening dramatically.
“Of course, if we had to, that’s what best friends do.” Remus felt like, instead of injecting reason into the conversation, he was actually getting caught up in the madness.
“And not just die for him,” continued Peter as if Remus hadn’t spoken at all. “I would kill for him too.”
Remus felt his jaw sag open with shock as he tried to process what Peter had said. In the absence of any comments, Peter continued.
“It’s like you and Sirius. You would die for him, and you would kill for him. It’s what love’s all about, isn’t it?” Peter paused as he took a deep sip of his drink and wiped his mouth on the back of his hand. “You know, I think you’re right, Moony. I need to talk to James. Ask him to do more stuff, just the two of us.” He looked at Remus, who was still sitting dumbly, his mouth opening and closing soundless like a codfish. “Thanks,” said Peter earnestly, his podgy pale face now beginning to flush with hope, “you’re really an amazing mate.”
As Peter tipped the last of his butterbeer down his throat, Remus resolved to convince Peter to go back to the castle. He had always thought of his friend as harmless, but the things Peter had said had sown the seed of doubt into his mind. He needed to talk to Sirius. Hopefully, it would all turn out to be nothing.