Liandrin and I have been sneaking around with each other for a couple of years now. Usually finding each other on our sleepless nights allows us to bond, but not longer than just using each other for a quick lay.
However, back at the Tower, she always changed. Always more closed off, coming to me late in the evenings, always gone before the sun rose. It always annoyed me that she never stayed, even though our quarters were near each other, the furthest back in the Red Wing, where it was rare for anyone other than the two of us to be.
Then one day, it changed. She had slipped out of the Tower one night. I had dozed off before the telltale noise of my door opening and closing woke me from my slumber. I shoot off my power, lighting the candles to reveal Liandrin’s tear-stained face. I sit up and open my arms to her. She falls into me, tears soaking into my slip as she spills, what I thought at the time, all of her secrets, she tells me of her son, but never goes into more about what had happened to her.
I hold her until she cries herself to sleep in my arms. I ended up repositioning us until we were lying down, her head finding my heartbeat. Her even breathing and warmth eventually coax me to doze off as well.
From that point, we were more open with each other. We always spent nights in one of each other's rooms, only slipping out to get changed. While we decided to keep our relationship a secret, we agreed to be in a relationship. We knew too much of each other to keep it casual.
At the time, I never knew she was Black Ajah, and she certainly did not think I was either. Somehow, we never saw each other when we had the meetings about what was to come, nor did we know our orders; we brought two sides of the coin together. Little did we both know that the day of us finding that out was sooner rather than later.
Time Jump
I had been following behind Liandrin, steps in sync as we walked down to hall to suddenly be met with our Red Sisters. We slow to a stop as we’re approached by the three sisters.
“The Amyrlin requested a Sitting of the Hall. She’s called you to the floor.” I look at Liandrin with a puzzled expression. She ignores me, however, as she speaks.
“I have a few matters I’d like to raise before the Hall myself,” Liandrin states.
“We stand with you, sister, no matter the charges.” Liandrin glances at me before we start on our way to the Hall. Even though I’m following, I’m still stuck on what my sister had said. “No matter the charges.” What was that supposed to mean? More importantly, what had Liandrin done that she was going to have charges brought against her? And why hadn’t she come to me about whatever she was doing? Did she not trust me? I continue to stew on these thoughts as we make our way to the Hall.
As we pass by the respective Ajah, I can see Liandrin out of the corner of my eye, looking at some of our sisters as we pass. That only adds to my unease about this situation. Especially seeing the look Alanna bestowed on us.
We’re stopped at the Hall doors by Leane. We all glance at one another as she speaks.
“Mother has deemed this a Sitting sealed to the Hall…. And to the Red Ajah.”
“Every Sitter has the right to speak in the Hall,” Tsutama speaks up.
“Only 11 Sitters are required by tradition. Liandrin Sedai will speak for the Red’s today, but you will not hear her.” Leane is firm in her statement. Liandrin glances back at us before giving me one last look, her hand giving mine a soft but subtle squeeze before she makes her way into the Hall. Leane bangs her, honestly annoying, staff before the rest of our sisters make their way in.
“Attend you all. She comes. The Watcher of the Seals, the Flame of Tar Valan, the Amyrlin Seat.” Her voice fades as the doors close. Liandrin’s back is the last thing I see as the doors seal with a heavy thunk.
Time Jump
All of a sudden, there’s a commotion, both inside the Hall and out. Alanna’s warders are banging on the doors. Frankly, it almost makes me giggle that they think they could break down those doors. I hear approaching footsteps as I look at my Red Sisters.
“Stand back! Get away from the door.” Tsutama tried to order them. They draw their swords, saying they will not pass them. If only they knew I could easily draw on my power to move them. They try to reason with them, asking if they want their Aes Sedai killed, calling them fools. Again, I stand back, knowing that two of my Sisters would be walking around the corner.
They all have their swords drawn, seemingly ready to charge at the three. I simply stand back with a hidden smirk on my face, knowing that they were going to clear the path for my real sisters. They stare down at each other as we hear screaming coming from the Hall. Noises of destruction coming from inside.
“Out of our way. Move!” The warders and three Red Sisters are still standing odd when I see a flash of green and yellow turn the corner. Jeaine sends out a blast of power, knocking out one of the Red Sisters.
“Thank the light. Jeaine.” Makism seems relieved, but they were soon going to realize they were not on their side.
“Chesmal. Help us get inside.” Jeaine instead fixes them with a smile as I make way over to join them. She chuckles as she says, “No.” They all turn and look at each other in disbelief. She blasts again at Tsutama, who barely put up a shield. Her warders stepped forward then, before Tsutama killed them.
Before I knew it, the doors to the Hall were blasted open. I gasped at Liandrin’s state, clothes darkened with blood, her face tinged red with more blood under her lip. I can tell she hasn’t noticed me yet, more focused on watching her step over the rubble.
“Quick, get to the docks.” She states to us, all of our sisters nodding their heads as they start.
“Liandrin!” I call to her, catching her attention as I make my way to her as we’re walking out of the main hallway. She looks in shock to see me, and I could see the wheels turning in her head, however, she keeps walking.
“Liandrin! Stop!” I reach out and grasp her arm, halting her movement.
“I know that you're a Darkfriend Liandrin.” One of our sisters bumps into us, so we continue moving. Liandrin goes to open her mouth, but I put a hand up to stop her. I grasp her wrist again, falling to the back of the group to try and have a little bit of privacy as we make our way out of the Tower.
“It’s not safe to discuss this further. All you need to concern yourself with is that I stand with you, love, okay?” I grab the hand closest to me and give it a soft squeeze. She gives me a small smile and a curt nod. As we made it onto the street, our fingers had interlocked, bodies subconsciously seeking the other out.
Our trek is cut short by Alanna and her Warders. I roll my eyes at their dramatics as she says, “You will not leave this city alive.” I see Liandrin clench her jaw as we prepare to attack them. There's a split moment of silence before Alanna channels, sending it into the ground to create a pathway of broken bricks at us. I just barely put a shield up as the dust settles over us.
Suddenly, Alanna charges, and Liandrin channels. Alanna jumps over Liandrin’s fireball as her warders get to work on our sisters. I ignore them, knowing they can handle their own as I focus on aiding Liandrin.
They go at it with each other, two powerful Aes Sedai creating more chaos. Suddenly, her warders sliced me with their blades, forcing me to drop the shields I had. As I fall to my knees next to Liandrin, I watch as they slice her arm and leg, forcing her to drop to her knees.
“No!” I heard myself scream along with Liandrin as they plunged their swords into her chest before they pulled out. They moved to slice her neck but were stopped by Chesmal and Jeaine. Alanna is angered as she blasts them away. Liandrin falls next to me as Chesmal and I rush to heal her, Nyomi shielding us before Chesmal moves to heal my wounds as well.
Liandrin gets back up just in time for Alanna to grab her throat, drawing a blade with the One Power before Liandrin can throw her through the air, knocking her unconscious into the pillar. They blast her warders away, and we’re able to take the opportunity to finish our trek to the awaiting ship.
However, Liandrin has to have her moment of revenge. I stand next to her as she looks to Alanna’s unconscious body, then to the discarded sword on the ground before drawing on her power. I watch as she launches the sword through the air towards Alanna. Her warders scramble to protect her before it pierces through Ihvan.
“Liandrin, we must hurry,” I call her back to me with a hand on her arm, pulling her with me, away from the chaos as well as Alanna’s wailing. As we made our way to follow the others, she linked our hands together, both of us guiding and pulling each other along.
Once we made it to the ship and had sailed far enough into the sea, we collectively took a deep breath. I watch as Liandrin tells the captain where our destination is before she makes her way over to me.
“I’ve been told the captain has given his quarters for you. I already had them prepare a bath and some food as well.” She gives me a curt nod before she sets off. I give a glance around at everyone before I set off after her. Upon reaching the door, I see that she’s standing in front of it, casting me a glance before walking inside, the door open as my invitation.
Once I've closed and locked the door, setting a ward for protection and privacy, I turn to see her back facing me. I watch as she struggles to take off her bloody dress.
I step up behind her, brushing her braid over her shoulder as I get to work on her dress. I leave the ruined garments on the floor, knowing that they were beyond saving. I watch her make her way to the small tub in the room. I channel to heat the water as she steps in.
I follow, going to kneel behind her as I start my work on her braid. Gently untangling the golden locks before pushing them into the water. I move to grab the cup, but her hand on my wrist stops me. I watch her swallow before she opens her mouth to speak.
“Will you join me…. Please?” I see how she hesitates. I smile as I nod, planting a soft kiss on her head as I move to stand. My clothes add to her pile on the floor as I make wat wat back to the tub. She moves forward, allowing me to slip in behind her. She settles against me, grabbing my wrists to wrap my arms around her.
We sit in the steaming water in silence for a few minutes, my hands rubbing absent-mindedly over her chest when she lets out a sharp breath. I pull my hands away and force her body to turn and face me, letting out a gasp once I see the state of her chest.
The quick healing during the battles only healed the worst of the injuries, the life-threatening ones. I grab the cloth and soap that were laid next to the tub.
I work gently, starting at her face to wipe the dried blood off. Finally allowing me to see her face clearly, ensuring no injuries were hiding. I then move to her chest, being gentle around the two fresh scars where Alanna’s warders had pierced her. We both let out a breath, one of pain and the other out of upset. I stop my hand, just staring at the wounds that I witnessed almost take her life.
I’m brought out of my trance by a hand touching my cheek. My eyes follow the pale arm until I meet Liandrin’s sharp blue gaze. Her thumb rubbing my cheek as I bring my hand up to wrap around her wrist, pressing my fingers to the steady thumping I find there. We both take in a shaky breath as we gaze at each other. She uses the hand on my cheek to guide our lips together. We kiss softly for a minute before I pull back and rest our foreheads together.
I gaze down at her battered body for a second before I start to draw on the power. She brings her other hand up to my face, holding our foreheads together as I bring my hands to hover over her body, allowing the power to course through her body, and heal her injuries. She gasps at the first contact and brings her head to rest under my chin, shivering at the chill that comes with healing. I press my lips to her head as I withdraw my power, her body physically healed, but still left with the memory of what happened.
She pulls away, gathering the cloth from my hand to bestow the same treatments to my body until we’re both physically left with no marks of the day, the water tinged red from the blood. I move first, rising out of the tub and reaching for the towels, drying myself before turning to her, waiting with the towel between my arms.
She gives me a small smile as she steps out of the tub, walking into my waiting arms. I wrap the towel around her as I dry her off before moving to the bed, gathering the night clothes that had been set out. I make my way back to her, helping her get dressed before I do the same for myself. I help her move to the bed before I grab the cup of water and a small helping of food, and make my way to her. We sit and eat in silence for a moment before I finally speak.
“How are you feeling now, my love?” I reached out and brushed some hair from her face as she avoided my eyes. I let her, knowing that she’s wary of everything due to what happened, and confused how I knew she was Black Ajah.
“I, I’m okay. Thank you, Y/N.” I give her a soft smile as she meets my eyes, before I see the questions start to plague her mind as she opens her lips to speak.
“What… what did you mean that you knew I was a Darkfriend? And how?” She pulls away from me, her trust issues causing her to never allow anyone close, and preventing her from ever being able to fully open up to me.
“I only recently found out, when Lady Lanfear visited my dreams, and told me what was coming to the Tower. She revealed that she knew I was your ‘plaything’ and that…” I paused, looking away from her as a tear fell down my cheek. She reaches out and brushes it away before grasping my hand.
“She, uh, um said that I was nothing more to youthann just a way to allow you to release your frustrations on, and that I was a hindrance to the plans.” I stop again as my lips tremble, and another tears fall. She squeezes my hand as I take a deep breath and start again.
“She propositioned me. Told me to join the Black Ajah if I wanted to remain with you, and protect you from any harm. If I denied, she was going to take me and lead you to me. That…” I let out a sob before I regained myself.
“That she would make me watch as she hurt you before she took my life in the same way she took your son, ensuring that you watched this time. So I agreed. I didn’t want her to hurt you, so I stayed quiet, not telling anyone but always helping in the background. I, I-I’m sorry, Liandrin. I’m so sorry.” She pulls me into her, allowing my tears to wet her slip as she runs her hands on my back, my own gripping her to me. She pulls back and wipes the tears from my face. Her orbs sparkling with unshed tears.
“Why didn’t you come to me, love?” I sniff before I answer, hands grasping her wrists again.
“I-I was scared that she’d go back on what she said and hurt you. I couldn’t risk your safety, so I stayed quiet. I figured you’d find out on your own, so she couldn’t hurt you. I’m sorry, Liandrin. I love you too much to allow anyone to hurt you anymore.” She uses her hands on my cheeks to wipe the tears that continue to fall. She holds me to her, eventually guiding us to lie down and draw the covers over us. We fall asleep wrapped in each other's arms.
Time Jump
Liandrin and I never got the chance to speak further. Once the ship docked in Tanchico, we were on the move. On the hint for an item. She never really told me what exactly it was, but it must have been important enough that we had to come back to her home.
We make our way through the town, eyes focused on Liandrin, regal as ever at the front of our group, her outfit a red of warning. The boom of the doors opening echoed in the hall, drawing the attention of the veiled individuals gathered in the… hall. We all gather behind Liandrin as she walks in, branching out to get a look at everyone.
She pulls the veil covering her face, looking at what I assumed was the soon to be wife and husband. The man speaks. “Who are you?” His finger pointing at Liandrin.
“What’s your name, boy?” She’s firm in her question, expecting an answer.
“Jaq Lounalt.” His voice sends a shiver through me, the One Power dancing on the tips of my fingers. My eyes flick to Liandrin as I watch her inhale.
“Lounalt.” The disdain dripping from her voice is heavy. “You still here afte all this time?” The man steps back, barely able to see the confusion dressing his face as she continues.
“You must be the great grandson of the man I called husband.” She scoffs.
“Man who never bothered to bring me to an altar.” I watch as she starts walking forward, finger pointing at the girl dressed in white. “Man who put our wedding bed in the dark, wet cell in the depths of this Keep.” She moves closer to them, my body following hers, itching to channel.
“Until just before my 13th birthday, he found out there would soon be an addition to our…” I can hear her voice tremble as she takes a breath to regain herself. “Wholesome little family.” I hear a whimper, realizing it's coming from the bride as Liandrin snaps her head to her, approaching the girl.
She lifts the veil from her face, taking in a shaking breath as I let out a gasp of my own. “Another child.” She lets out a sharp exhale upon seeing her, thumbs rubbing on the girl's cheeks. The man speaks again, almost touching Liandrin. “Don’t touch her. She’s mine.” How I wish I could channel him. Liandrin beats me to it.
“Oh, well.” Faster than I could blink, she turns to the man, the One Power circling her body as she reaches into his chest, lifting him in the air before throwing him. I watch as she looks down at her hand, my eyes following. I let out a breath at seeing the man's heart in her hand, the blood dripping over her hand before she throws it to land next to his now lifeless body.
She looks to all of us before speaking. “Don’t hold back.” My sisters turn then, going after everyone. I instead make my way fully over to Liandrin as she sees the girl retreating, scared out of her mind. “No. Come here.” I hear Liandrin say as I keep my back to her, ensuring no one was going to try and ambush her as her focus went to the child.
“Don’t be afraid. This is our house now.” I glance back at them, now on the floor. The poor girl as terror, running through her, the screams of everyone in the room certainly not helping Liandrin try to calm her. I hear as she calls for Nyomi. I drop my sheils for her to pass through, my ears tuning into their conversation.
“My friend can make all the scary thoughts go away.” I can hear the change in Liandrin’s voice, how she’s trying to keep her front up.
“She’ll lose more than just her memories of today,” Nyomi explains to Liandrin, but I can tell there's something more to her words when she speaks.
“A return home is meant for one of two things. Remembrance or revenge. I think it’s best not to remember a thing.” The screaming stops, my Sisters' leaving bodies piled on the floor. I make my way over to the three of them, watching as Liandrin still grasps the girl's hand.
Time Jump
“Has anyone seen Liandrin?” All I get in response is heads shaking no, as well as some verbal denials. I huff, leaving the library as I start on my second lap of the Keep. I decided it was desperate measures and drew on my power, seeking out the trace of Liandrin’s. I follow it until I reach what I can only assume is the basement. The feeling down here only brings me despair, fear, and loneliness, and pain seeping into my bones the further down the hall I walk.
The sound of sniffling and sobbing reaches my ears. I make my way over to what appears to be a cell of some kind. Rounding the wall, I see Liandrin on the floor. I’m about to call out to her when I stop, watching as she paints a symbol on the floor, her broken voice reaching my ears.
“From where you died to where you were born, we walked every step together. Let your soul find its way back to me.” I watch as the tears drip down her face, her head and eyes turning to the wall the cot is resting against. I step further into the cell, eyes following hers. I scan the walls, seeing scratches on the walls. As I glance back at her, I see she’s moved to sit on the cot. Her face turned away in anguish and anger as she sniffled.
I say nothing as I make my way next to her, careful of the drying paint on the floor. I sit next to her, not speaking, allowing my presence to hopefully be enough for her in this moment. Our legs brush, but I make no move towards her, restraint drawing all my strength. I want to give her the chance to come to me before I confront her.
Finally, she moves, her hand coming to grab mine on my thigh. I turn to her then, letting the questions in my eyes do the talking as I wait. I watch as a tear falls onto our joined hands as she sniffles, before opening her mouth to speak.
“This is where he kept me, you know.” She pauses as she glances at me, lip trembling. I stay silent, squeezing her hand to encourage her on. Letting her know I was here, and she would never have to be in a cell again.
“I was forced, much like that child, into marriage. Before my first blood.” She pauses again, eyes raking over the cell.
“Every day he kept me down here, locked, chained, and caged like an animal. Barely feeding me enough to survive. And… every night, he would come down here. Knowing I didn’t have the strength to fight against him. He always stunk like some form of drink.” I give her hand another squeeze as he voice trembles, tears falling fuller down her cheeks. My own eyes are wet with tears for her, but I still don’t speak, knowing if I did now, she wouldn’t finish.
“He forced himself on me every night. Eventually, my screams and cries fell silent. When he found out there would be an addition to our family, I knew then I had to escape. I gave birth to Aludran here, in this cell. I was alone, scared, for myself and my son. When he came into the cell, he tried to take him from me. It was the first time I channeled. I killed him, and I ran.” I pull her to me then, allowing her body to fall onto mine, tears soaking into my robes. I pressed silent kisses on her head, hands rubbing her back.
“It was during that in which I met Ishamael. His hand was the only one of help. He told me of promises, of what I must do before I could join him. I obeyed, but if only I had known the true weight of his words.” Her voice fades then, tears still soaking me as her arms wrap around my body.
I pull her again until she's sat in my lap, her entire form wrapped around my body like I was an anchor and she was the drifting piece of seaweed caught in its grasp. We stay for a moment, her ear pressed to my heart as I continue pressing kisses into her head, hands holding her firm to me.
“I’m so sorry, Liandrin. Tell me, what can I do? Anything within my power, name it and I will do it.” She pulls back from me then, hands reaching to grab my face as she connects our lips. She pulls back to rest our foreheads together, thinking on my words.
“Take me out of here, Y/N. Please.” I give her head another kiss before I wrap my arms more securely around her. She moves her own around my neck, legs squeezing as I stand with her in my arms. I take us out of the cell, the basement, all the way to the room I claimed for us.
I set her form on the bed, kneeling in front of her to take off her heels, moving to do the same to myself. I pull the covers back, getting comfortable before drawing her into my arms again. She gives no resistance as she settles again with her ear resting over my heart. I move my fingers into her hair, untangling the knots that have formed.
“Oh, Liandrin. My love. I’m so sorry. I’m here now. And I promise, I will never leave you alone again. I will never allow anyone to harm you if I have any say in it.” She lets out another sob then, moving to kiss me again, before resting her lips on my neck, feeling my heart beating on them.
“Y/N…. T- thank you, my love. I-I’m sorry I never came to you. I-I just couldn’t risk someone finding out about what happened here or anything else about my past. I wanted to tell you but I…” She trails off, another tear soaking my skin. I understand where she was leading, however.
“Shh, my love. You don’t have to explain to me. I understand. Why don’t you rest now, Lia? I’ll be here when you wake, and we can continue. Right now, you need to rest. You used a lot of power today.” I press another kiss to her head, bringing the blanket tighter around us, squeezing her body closer to mine. She presses a lingering kiss to my neck as I feel her breathing start to even out, finally allowing the tears in my eyes to fall. The pain of her suffering bled into me. Knowing how alone she was, and how if it weren’t for me, she would still be alone.
“I love you Liandrin, and I will never let you suffer again.” I feel her unconscious bosy snuggle furhe into me. My lips rest on her head as I stare into nothingness. My sleep can come later. Right now she needed me. And right now, she had me.
Forever.