Saying Goodbye to Olivia
1st September 2003
“Livi!” Irwin called up the stairs, “you nearly ready?”
“Yes Dad,” she called back.
“You have to get into the basket,” said Olivia to a struggling Diana, “don’t you want to go back to Hogwarts?”
Diana stopped struggling at the H word. She hadn’t been to Hogwarts since she was a kitten, she thought she had liked it, lots of other cats to play with, and lots of mice to catch.
“There you go,” smiled Olivia sliding Diana into her basket.
Olivia did up the clasp firmly and checked her school robes in the mirror.
She redid her hair clips on her shoulder-length mousy brown hair which she was wearing down.
Her school robes were still plain black for now, as was her tie. Her new school jumper was still plain grey. But she knew that by this time tomorrow there would be colour on them. If her parents were right probably blue and bronze.
“You ready princess?” asked Irwin poking his head around the door.
“Yes Dad,” she nodded.
Irwin nodded and started to pull the trunk downstairs.
“Get out of the way Gryff!” said Irwin as he tried to heave the trunk downstairs.
“Are we going to Hogwarts now?” asked Gryffyn who was charging around the house.
“Your sister is going to Hogwarts,” said Anne picking up Gryffyn so he was out of the way of Olivia’s trunk, “but not if we don’t get a move on.”
“How are you so awake at this time in the morning?” asked Irwin shaking his head as he put the trunk down in the hallway
“He gets it from his godfather,” said Anne as she put Gryffyn back down.
“Come on Livi,” said Anne with her hands on her hips, “we’re going to be late!”
“It’s half past four in the morning,” said Irwin, “it takes five hours to get there, that still gives us an hour and a half to spare.”
Anne and Irwin had been up since a quarter to four, getting the triplets out of bed. The triplets were now four.
Gryffyn had a think head of curly red locks and emerald coloured eyes like Irwin. Gwenith also had dark red hair which she usually wore in two plaits and eyes like Salamanders as her great grandpa Newt liked to say.
Gawain had jet-black unruly hair like Harry but that was where the resemblance stopped, Harry’s eyes were green like Lily’s, but Gawain had light blue eyes like Anne’s, and of course Gawain didn’t have a lightning bolt shaped scar on his forehead.
Gryffyn had been bouncing with excitement to go to King’s Cross and it had been hard to get him to stand still long enough for him to pull on his jeans and jumper.
Gwenith was just upset, not because she had been woken up so early but because her big sister was leaving.
Then there was Gawain, quiet as usual. He seemed confused by being woken up so early in the morning, but that was just because his routine had been broken.
Anne and Irwin had noticed that Gawain was slightly different from his brother and sister; he didn’t like playing with the other children at play group, or even playing with Gryffyn or Gwenith half the time, he hardly ever talked to anyone, and flinched when anyone tried to touch him.
He had only just turned four and they weren’t the same symptoms as Anne had had, but they had taken him into St Mungos and Anne’s suspicions had been correct, Gawain had autism, and a much more severe version of her own.
“What about bad traffic?” she snapped.
“And I used to think that Dad was bad on the 1st of September, you’re far worse.”
“I’m not bad, am I?” she asked turning slightly to Irwin as she got out six muggle coats.
“You woke us all up at a quarter to four, Dad used to wait until six, see the difference?”
“Sorry Irwin,” she muttered laughing slightly.
“Anne, if you weren’t panicking so much about every tiny little thing in the world, you wouldn’t be the beautiful goddess that I married,” he said pulling her in for a hug.
“Ready,” called Olivia running down the stairs with Diana in her cat basket.
“Good,” nodded Irwin, “ok kids let’s start loading the car.”
“Kreacher!” Anne called.
“Yes, Mistress Anne?” said Kreacher appearing in the room
“We’ll be back in time for dinner, you can have the rest of the day off.”
“Thank you, Mistress Anne,” said Kreacher bowing before leaving again.
Irwin started to load Olivia’s things into the car. They also had two bags of food, one was bacon sandwiches for breakfast, and the other was more sandwiches for lunch.
“Come on Gryff,” said Irwin lifting up his son who had been trying to play on the bannisters.
Irwin carried Gryffyn out to the car and strapped him into his car seat.
“Why do you have to go?” sulked Gwenith as Olivia sat down next to her.
“Because, I have to learn how to do magic like Mum and Dad,” Olivia explained.
Gwenith seemed unimpressed.
“Why can’t I come too then?”
“Because you’re too little, in seven years you’ll be going to Hogwarts.”
Gwenith still seemed unimpressed.
“Tell you what,” said Olivia smiling, “I’ll be home at Christmas, and I can tell you all about Hogwarts.”
“Ok,” shrugged Gwenith taking her sisters hand and they both got up to get into the car.
“Gawain,” Anne called gently kneeling down next to him.
Gawain was staring at the wall and tracing the pattern of the trailing flowers on the wallpaper using his finger.
“Gawain,” she called again.
There was still no response.
Anne tapped him lightly on the shoulder and he flinched away from her.
“I’m sorry sweetheart,” said Anne, “we need to get in the car.”
Gawain nodded at her and started to get up from the floor.
Anne smiled as she got up from kneeling on the floor.
Gawain started to pull at her skirt.
“Yes sweetheart?”
“Book?” he asked curiously.
Gawain had not enjoyed playing with the other children at playgroup or his own siblings, but he had a fascination with books. With help from Anne he had starting learning to read when he had only just turned three, he could now read much better than most eight or nine-year olds.
“It’s too dark outside to read, but you can have your book later.”
“Book,” he said more stubbornly.
“It’s too dark outside,” she said gently as she helped him into his coat, “but you can have this,” she smiled pulling her Walkman and headphones out of her coat pocket.
Gawain calmed down as Anne put the headphones over Gawain’s ears.
“Just think about what you want to listen to,” said Anne.
Gawain nodded and a Queen album started to play on the Walkman.
They walked out to the car together where the rest of the family were already waiting. The other three children were already strapped into the people carrier, Gryffyn and Gwenith were in the back row and Olivia was sat in the middle row. Irwin was leaning against the car door playing with the keys.
“Everything alright?” he asked.
“Hmm” nodded Anne.
She indicated to Gawain that he had to take off his headphones for a second which he did almost instantly.
“I need to lift you into the car ok poppet?”
Gawain nodded and Anne picked up Gawain and did up his seat belt.
Gawain squirmed slightly as Anne lifted him up, but it wasn’t too bad, because he knew she was going to have to pick her up.
“That’s my big boy,” she beamed as she buckled him into his car seat.
Anne started handing out packet’s bacon sandwiches to everyone in the car before they got started.
“Everyone got sandwiches?” asked Irwin before he put the keys in the ignition.
It was just under a five hour drive to London so there was an extensive check list to get through before they could even leave the house
“Yes!” they all called.
“Everyone got their seatbelts on?”
“Yes!”
“Everyone been to the bathroom?”
“Yes!”
“No!” called Gryffyn.
Irwin turned around in his seat.
“Do you need the bathroom Gryff?”
“No,” he chuckled, “Mummy took me twice.”
Irwin rolled his eyes slightly.
“Have we all got everything?”
“I’ve got Lily,” said Gwenith holding up her ragdoll.
“Good girl,” said Anne.
“I’ve got my dragon!” called Gryffyn
“Jolly good,” nodded Irwin.
“Has Gawain got everything?” he asked turning to Anne.
“He’s got his headphones on, and once its light enough I’m going to give him his book,” said Anne holding up a copy of The Magicians Nephew. Gawain had recently started the Narnia books.
“You got everything Livi?” asked Irwin.
“Trunk, and cat so yes.”
“School books?” asked Irwin.
“Yes,” she nodded.
“Wand?” asked Anne.
“Yes,” said Olivia pulling it out of her robe pocket to show her.
“Anything else can be mailed on later if forgotten,” sighed Anne.
“You got the sandwiches for lunch?” he asked turning to Anne.
“Yes,” she nodded, “and I’ve got wizard and muggle money in my purse in case of emergencies.”
“Good,” he nodded.
“Well then,” he sighed, “I think that’s everything.”
He turned the key in the ignition, and they drove away from the house. It was five o’clock in the morning already.
Gawain stared out the window whilst he listened to his music. Gwenith fell back to sleep in the back of the car. Olivia and Gryffyn were playing a game to see who could spot the most red cars.
About an hour and a half into the journey, just before they left Wales at about half past six, the sun had started to rise in the sky. As they crossed the bridge from Wales to England Anne turned around in her seat.
“Gawain,” she called gently.
“Gawain,” she called again indicating for him to take his headphones off.
Gawain turned around curiously and saw his mother miming for him to take his headphones off.
He took them off slowly and the music stopped playing.
“Here you go,” she said passing him his book.
Gawain took his book and there was a huge grin on his face as he opened it to the second chapter of the book.
“Wait a second,” said Anne clearly.
He looked up at her expectantly.
“What do you do if you don’t understand a word?”
Gawain raised his hand in the air slowly.
“That’s it,” she nodded, “then either me or Olivia can help you with the word.”
Gawain nodded as he immersed himself within the book.
“Ok,” said Irwin, “now that the sun’s up, who wants to play a game of I spy?”
After a couple more hours and a lot of I spy, it was Olivia’s turn to play it at I spy.
“I spy with my little eye something beginning with R D D B.”
“That’s a lot of words,” said Irwin, “I wonder what it could be.”
“I think it’s a red double decker bus,” said Gryffyn who had spent half the journey counting red cars.
“And does anyone know what that means?” asked Anne.
Gwenith and Gryffyn shook their heads.
“It means we’re in London, which means we’re nearly at Kings Cross,” said Olivia.
“Correct princess,” said Irwin.
Fifteen minutes later they found themselves at Kings Cross Station.
“Olivia,” said Anne before they got out of the car, “can you take your robe off for a few minutes?”
“But I love my new robe!” she protested.
“I know princess,” said Irwin “but if you take off the robe just until we reach the platform, it looks like you’re wearing a normal muggle school uniform.”
“Ok,” she muttered slightly annoyed at having to take off her school robe.
Anne got out of the car and started to get the triplets out of the car as Irwin fetched a trolley, it was only a quarter to ten so they could get a coffee as a family before finding the platform.
“Gerwain,” she said gently.
“Gerwain,” she said again as she undid his car seat buckle.
He looked at her curiously again.
“I need to get you out of the car.”
He nodded and didn’t squirm too much as she lifted him out of the car. She put his book in her handbag and then helped the other two out of their seats.
“Are we going to the platform now?” asked Olivia.
“No we’re very early,” said Irwin as he came back with a trolley, “we’ve got time for a coffee if you like.”
“Can I get a diet coke?” asked Olivia.
“Anything for my princess,” nodded Irwin as he loaded her trolley.
“Can I ride on the trolley?” asked Gryffyn.
“It’s your sister’s trolley ask her.”
“Can I ride on your trolley?”
Anne looked at him expectantly.
“Please,” he added as an afterthought.
“Of course, Gryff,” said Olivia lifting him on top of her trunk.
Irwin helped Olivia push her trolley and Gwenith held Anne’s hand.
Anne held out her other hand for Gawain, but he didn’t take it.
They headed off to the coffee shop and they got one coffee for Irwin, two diet cokes for Anne and Olivia and milks for the triplets.
Gawain didn’t seem interested in his drink though, instead he used his hand to summon over his book from his mother’s handbag.
“Annie,” muttered Irwin panicking slightly as he saw the book fly across the table in a muggle café.
“When did he learn to do that?” asked Irwin as Gawain casually opened up his book where he had left off, as if he had just done the most normal thing in the world.
“I don’t know,” whispered Anne nervously as they checked that no muggles had seen, “but we clearly need to talk to him about not using his powers in public.”
“Seconded,” nodded Irwin.
“We ready now?” asked Olivia as they finished their drinks.
“Yes,” said Irwin.
“Don’t do that again,” said Anne firmly as she put Gawain’s book back in her bag.
Gawain glared at her slightly and tried summoning the book back from her.
“No,” she said firmly putting it away and doing up the clasp on her handbag.
“Book!” he said stubbornly stamping his foot.
“No,” said Anne trying to keep calm, “you can’t have your book, we need to get Olivia on the train.”
Gawain huffed audibly and followed Anne from the café.
Gryffyn was already sat back on top of Olivia’s trunk.
“Daddy,” said Gwenith.
“Yes Gwenny?”
“Up?”
“Ok,” he chuckled picking her up for a piggyback ride.
“Gawain,” said Anne gently, “this is a very crowded place, so could you please walk right next to Mummy, if you wonder off, I’m going to have to hold your hand.”
Gawain nodded and walked next to Anne as they walked towards the platform.
They reached the barrier between platforms nine and ten and Irwin took Gwenith from off of his shoulders.
Olivia was standing still, looking at the brick wall and worrying if she was going to crash.
“Want to go together Livi?” asked Irwin.
Olivia nodded.
Irwin took hold of the trolley around Olivia and made sure there were no muggles watching.
“You ready princess?”
“Ready as I’ll ever be.”
“Hold on tight Gryff,” said Irwin before they started to run at the barrier.
Gwenith winced slightly when it looked like they were about to crash, but then they disappeared.
“Where’d they go?” she exclaimed.
“Let’s go find out, shall we?” said Anne chuckling.
Anne Gwenith and Gawain walked towards the barrier, Gwenith holding Anne’s hand and Gawain walking beside them.
Just as they were about to reach the barrier Anne felt a tugging on her skirt.
“Yes sweetheart?” she asked looking down at Gawain who was trembling slightly.
He held out his hand for her.
“You nervous?” she asked crouching down.
He nodded.
“I was nervous the first time too, but it’s ok, we’re going to do this together.”
Anne took hold of Gwenith and Gawain’s hands and they walked firmly towards the barrier. Gawain winced slightly when they were about to hit the brick wall and he closed his eyes, but the next thing he knew they were standing on a different platform which was steadily getting more crowded as the train was leaving in half an hour.
He looked around curiously at all the different animals in their cages and all the families. His hand slipped out of Anne’s now they were through the barrier, but he continued to walk beside as he had promised.
“Daddy?”
“Yes Gwenny?” asked Irwin as he looked around for the other Scamander’s.
“Why are there so many people staring at us?”
Anne had been pulling at the end of her plait and staring down at her shoes to avoid eye contact with all the dozens of families that were staring at them, over half the platform were had their eyes fixed on their little family.
“Well,” said Irwin dramatically, “it’s because many years ago, your Mummy saved the wizarding world from an evil wizard by stabbing him in the heart with a glass dagger.”
“Mummy could never kill someone,” said Gwenith her mouth agape.
“You’re making it up,” laughed Gryffyn, “Mummy could never be that brave!”
“If only he was,” muttered Anne still staring down at her shoes, none of the children heard her though apart from Gawain, who looked at her curiously for a moment before going back to looking at a tawny owl.
“There they are!” said Irwin beaming as he spotted Landon.
They walked over to where Landon was standing with Gwen, Newt, Averett and Aislynn.
“Hi son,” said Landon pulling Irwin in for a hug.
“Hi Dad,” chuckled Irwin.
“Grandma!” yelled Gwenith running over to give her a hug.
“Hi there little Gwenith,” beamed Gwen picking her up.
“You’re getting so big,” she exclaimed.
“I’ve got a loose tooth,” said Gwenith proudly.
“Have you been eating too many sweeties?” asked Averett.
You were only supposed to be allowed to take one animal into school but Averett’s trolley seemed to have at least five on it, including an owl and a bowtruckle and what looked like a baby niffler poking its head out of his jacket pocket.
“Grandpa!” yelled Gryffyn as he clamoured off of his sister’s trunk.
“Hi there Gryff,” said Landon picking him up.
“You look even more like your father every time I see you,” he chuckled.
“I saw thirty red cars on our way here.”
“And when did you learn how to count up to thirty?” asked Aislynn impressed.
“On our way up from Wales,” said Olivia, “I taught him.”
“Well done that girl,” said Newt.
“You ready for your OWLs Ais?” asked Irwin. Averett and Aislynn were about to go into their fifth year.
“I was born ready,” she nodded.
“That’s my girl,” beamed Irwin patting her on the back.
“You can have this back now Livi,” said Anne pulling Olivia’s neatly folded school robe out of her handbag.
“Thank’s Mum,” she grinned as Anne helped Olivia back into her robe.
“Is that a prefect badge I see gleaming upon your chest little sister?” asked Irwin.
“You know it is,” laughed Aislynn, “I told you about it a month ago.”
“Well I never,” said Irwin shaking his head.
“Just ignore him,” said Anne giving Aislynn a hug, “well done, you’ll be great.”
“It’s all a little bit much sometimes isn’t it,” said Newt sitting down on Aislynn’s trunk so he could talk to Gawain.
Gawain only half looked at him, he was still thinking about the book he had been reading.
Soon Averett started looking for a compartment so he could get his animals in safely.
Landon and Irwin helped Averett load his trunk and animals into an empty compartment, followed by Aislynn’s trunk.
“I’ve got to go,” said Aislynn, “prefect meeting.”
“See you at Christmas sweetheart,” said Gwen pulling her in for a hug.
“Bye Mum,” she said before rushing off to the compartment.
“Want to come in with us Livi?” asked Averett, who knew that Olivia didn’t know anyone yet.
“Yes please,” nodded Olivia and he helped her load her trunk and cat cage into their compartment.
“The train leaves in five minutes,” said Averett as they put Diana safely in the compartment.
Their family were waiting on the platform outside the compartment.
“Bye Dad,” said Olivia giving him a hug.
“Bye princess,” he said kissing her on top of the head, “what house do we want to be in?”
“Ravenclaw,” she chuckled.
“Why?”
“Because it is the house for creative minds and hard workers like myself.”
“Exactly,” said Irwin beaming.
“Bye Granny, Bye Grandpa,” she said as they both gave her a hug.
“Goodbye Livi,” said Landon.
“Bye Mum,” she said walking further down.
“Bye sweetheart,” said Anne pulling her in close, Anne had tears running down her face.
Olivia crouched down so she could say goodbye to her brothers and sisters.
“Bye Gryff,” she said giving him a hug.
“Are you going to write to me?” he asked.
“Every day,” she nodded beaming.
“Bye Gwenny,” she said giving her little sister a hug.
Gwenith pulled her in for a tight hug and didn’t seem to want to let go.
“I’ve got to go, or the train will leave without me,” she chuckled slightly.
“Bye Livi,” sobbed Gwenith finally letting her go.
Olivia knelt down on the platform in front of Gawain who was watching a toad that was trying to jump away from its owner.
“Gawain,” she said gently, “I’ve got to go now.”
Gawain just kept looking at the toad.
“I’m not going to be coming home with you today, I’ll see you at Christmas.”
Gawain looked at her curiously for a moment before going back to looking at the child with the toad.
“Gawain,” said Irwin getting frustrated, “your sister is going away to school, don’t you even care!”
“It’s ok Dad,” muttered Olivia getting up from the ground and giving him one last hug.
“Bye Gawain,” she said before heading to get on the train.
Gawain waved goodbye as she got into the compartment.
Olivia and Averett stuck their heads out the compartment window to wave goodbye as the train began to start.
“Take care of her!” called Irwin as the train started to pull away.
“Bye Livi!” said Gwenith who Irwin was holding.
Anne started to cry slightly as the train pulled away from the station. Olivia wasn’t really their daughter, she was adopted, but they had brought her up for the last six years and they loved her just as much as the other children.
Eventually the train pulled out of sight and the families were left on the platform.
“Come on,” said Irwin putting an arm around Anne, “let’s get you home.”
“I just can’t believe she’s gone,” said Anne sobbing slightly.
“I know,” said Irwin.
Anne took Gryffyn’s hand and Gawain walked next to her as they headed out from the platform.
Gawain pulled at her skirt again.
“Yes sweetheart?”
He held his hand for hers, he was scared of the weird wall and didn’t want to walk through it on his own.
“It’s ok Gawain,” she said gently taking his hand, “Mummy’s here.”
They walked towards the wall and soon found themselves back on the muggle side of the platform.
Anne was surprised when they reached the muggle side of the platform and Gawain didn’t let go of her hand.
The train station was so crowded that he was scared so he kept close to his mother.
They headed back to the car, and they started loading the children into the car.
“Do you want to go in the middle with Gwenith and Gryffyn or do you want to go in the back on your own?” asked Anne kneeling down.
Gawain seemed to think for a moment.
“Middle,” he answered.
“Ok,” she nodded as she picked him up and strapped him into his car seat.
Irwin had already put Gwenith and Gryffyn into their seats which he had moved into the middle row, Gwenith was sitting between her brothers.
“Do you want your music or your book?” she asked.
He thought for a moment again.
“Book,” he answered.
Anne took the book out of her handbag and started to pass it to Gawain.
Gawain put his hand to levitate the book towards him.
“Gawain no!” said Anne urgently checking that no muggles had been watching.
“You can’t do magic in front of muggles ok?” she said passing him the book.
“No magic in front of muggles,” he said tonelessly.
“That’s right,” said Anne in relief as she closed the door and started to get into the front of the car next to Irwin.
“No magic in front of muggles,” he repeated tonelessly.
“Same goes for you two as well,” said Irwin turning around in his seat to look at the triplets.
“No magic in front of muggles,” said the whole family.
“Good,” nodded Irwin, “who wants to go home?”
“Me!” said Gryffyn and Gwenith throwing their hands in the air.
“No magic in front of muggles,” said Gawain again.
“That’s right sweetheart,” said Anne gently, “why don’t you read your book?”
“Who wants a good old sing song?” asked Irwin as they started to pull away from London.
“There’s a bus!” exclaimed Gryffyn pointing at a bus that was going past the window.
“I’ll take that as a request,” chuckled Irwin.
“The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round, the wheels on the bus go round and round, all day long.”
Anne, Irwin, Gryffyn and Gwenith sung all the way back to Wales, Gawain hummed along slightly as he read his book.
When they were nearly back at Calleg Lwyn, Gawian put his hand in the air.
“Mummy,” called Gwenith.
“Yes sweetheart?”
“Gawain want’s something,” she said indicating that Gawain had his hand in the air.
“Are you struggling with a word darling?” she asked.
Gawain shook his head and handed the book bag to her.
“You finished?”
He nodded.
“Did you enjoy it?”
He nodded again with a smile on his face.
“Do you want me to find you the next book when we get home?”
He nodded again.
“And here we are,” said Irwin as he pulled the car back in front of the house and turned off the engine.
“Right,” he said as he and Anne got out of the car “all off the skylark!”
Anne started to unpack the boot
Irwin had already got Gryffyn and Gwenith out of the car which just left Gawain.
Gawain flinched away as Irwin tried to help him out of his seat.
“Gawain,” said Irwin starting to lose his temper slightly, “I’m your Dad, you can’t flinch away every time I try and touch you.”
Gawain shook his head frantically.
“No!” he screamed.
“I’ll do it,” sighed Anne.
“It’s ok sweetheart Mummy’s here,” said Anne gently as she undid the car seat.
Gawain struggled slightly as she lifted him out of the car, but he stopped screaming.
As Anne put him down on the ground he sprinted into the house.
“For God’s sake!” muttered Irwin putting his head in his hands.
“Just leave him,” muttered Anne as they headed back into the house with Gryffyn and Gwenith.
“Why don’t you two go play for a bit?” suggested Anne, “we’ll have tea in a bit.”
“Ok,” said Gryffyn as they both ran up to his room to play.
Gryffyn and Gawain shared the slightly larger room, which was slightly Gryffindor themed, and Gwenith was still in the room that had originally been their nursery.
Irwin was leaning against the car trying to keep his temper.
“Come on Irwin,” said Anne putting an arm around him, “let’s go talk.”
Irwin took a deep breath and they both went back into the house together.
They walked up to their bedroom and then Anne moved aside the rug on the stone floor of their tower room.
Irwin lifted the latch and they both climbed the ladder down into the secret room under their bedroom.
Anne cast a Muffliato charm on the ceiling so that the children couldn’t hear them.
“What’s wrong?” she asked lighting some of the candles on the walls with her wand.
“What do you think’s wrong?” he yelled as sat down on top of his desk.
“Is this something to do with Gawain again?” she asked sighing slightly.
“Our sons not normal!” he shouted.
“I know darling, but we can cope.”
“At least he fucking talks to you!” he shouted pacing back and forth, “he doesn’t say a word to anyone else.”
“Look,” she muttered, “I know it’s hard.”
“Hard?” he screamed.
“Did you see him at the station today?”
“What do you mean?”
“He wouldn’t even care that his sister was leaving today, wouldn’t even say goodbye!”
“Does he even actually care about his own sister?”
“He does care Irwin,” said Anne crying as he shouted at her, “he just has a different way of showing it.”
“Our son isn’t normal,” he said pointing to her, “and we know who he bloody gets it from!”
Anne sat down leaning against the wall and burst into tears.
“I’m sorry Annie,” he muttered sitting down next to her, “I shouldn’t be taking this out on you.”
He put an arm around her, and she started sobbing into him.
“You think I’m a freak, don’t you?” she sobbed.
“No of course not Annie,” he said stroking her hair, “I never have done I never will do.”
“It’s ok,” she muttered.
“He screams or flinches away when I even try and touch him,” he sighed, “how is that ok?”
“I know darling but give him time.”
“You weren’t this bad, were you?” he asked turning towards her.
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“Not talking to people, flinching away if anyone tries to touch you.”
“Irwin,” said Anne gently, “Gawain is four, you didn’t meet me till I was eleven.”
“I know that but were you this bad at his age?”
“No,” she admitted, “but his autism is worse than mine.”
“What are we going to do Irwin?” she asked sobbing into him as he stroked her hair.
“I don’t know darling,” he sighed, “learn to cope I suppose.”
“Come on,” said Anne drying her eyes after a while, “the kids will be worrying where we are.”
They both got up from the floor and headed back up the ladder and closed the trap door after them.
“We should start finding the kids,” said Irwin, “dinners in a few minutes.”
Anne washed her face slightly and headed through to Gryffyn and Gawain’s room.
Gryffyn and Gwenith were playing on the floor, with their toys.
“Dinners in five minutes,” said Irwin kneeling down to join them and picking up a dragon toy to join in for a few minutes.
“Do you two know where Gawain is?” asked Anne.
“Olivia’s room,” said Gwenith as she moved her unicorn through the air.
“Strange,” muttered Anne as she headed to Olivia’s room.
It wasn’t a Disney princess room anymore like it used to be. Instead everything was pink and purple. There was a small double bed with a pink and purple patchwork quilt on top.
The door was only slightly ajar, but she could see that Gawain was in there.
Gawain was curled up in the foetal position on top of Olivia’s quilt and was hugging one of her teddy bears, he wasn’t crying but he was clearly upset.
“Gawain?” Anne called opening the door slightly more.
There was no answer.
Anne sat down on the bed next to Gawain and stroked his hair slightly.
“Do you miss Olivia?”
Gawain nodded slightly as he clung onto the teddy bear.
“I’m sure she misses you too,” she told him.
“I’ll tell you what,” she said as she stroked a lock of jet-black hair off of his forehead, “if ever you miss your big sister why don’t you come through here, I’m sure Olivia won’t mind.”
“Ok,” he muttered.
“Shall we go get something to eat then?” asked Anne.
He nodded and hopped off the bed followed by Anne.
“You two ok?” asked Irwin as they came down for dinner.
“Yeah we’re fine,” nodded Anne as they sat down, “we were just talking about how much he misses his sister.”
“Oh,” said Irwin slightly surprised. Maybe his son did have some feelings.