Star
For what must’ve been so much of his life, intelligence has made a habit of showing its face around every corner Zuko turns, whether he wants to find it there or not.
He knows he’s being more than a bit dramatic, even gauche in blaming his troubles on something abstract– unfortunately the two people who most clearly manifest such intelligence are too close to him in either proximity or intimacy for him to feel actually comfortable laying the blame at their feet. They’re both like the sun, burning so brightly in their glory they can’t help but cast a titanic shadow. Few people ever manage to worm their way into their orbit.
Pages on pages from Zuko’s journals look like this: attempts to philosophize, to make his petty feelings seem somehow beautiful. His writing, in some ways, reshapes him. There is no getting around the ugliness of it, though. His sister has been around since as soon as he could form memories, and so some of his earliest seem to star her as their protagonist. She can’t help but shine, it’s just in her nature. Maybe at times he resented her for so effortlessly stealing the show, but growing up meant shedding those kinds of resentments, realizing he and his sister have dominion over their own arenas in life. There’s no need for envy.
He could only indulge those pseudo-enlightened thoughts for so long. Ghosts always like to come back to haunt, so he chastises himself for being so surprised that he’d end up in this position again. It was only a matter of time before someone else would show up to steal the show.
Any and all conversations with friends begin to be dominated by a particular someone’s name. What’s worse is that the awe seems almost warranted, Zuko can admit that much. The man is prodigious, wielding unheard of intellect like it’s his plaything, all the while coasting by socially with what some of Zuko’s friends have been calling his “pretty privilege”. One shared class between the two of them is all it takes for Zuko to see so clearly the source of this boy’s reputation.
Sokka– the newest star of the show this time around in Zuko’s life, and he’d be damned if he keeps letting other people take the spotlight.
“You’re being ridiculous,” Suki tells him. She does so loudly, trying to stay heard over the bustle of students flooding out of their lecture hall after their dismissal. “Why does he bother you so much?”
“Why does he interest you so much?” Zuko sneers. “Come on. If a whole campus kept shoving a single person down your throat constantly, you’d get sick of it too. I know you would.”
“Maybe I would,” she agrees. “But Sokka isn’t just smart or charming, he’s nice. You don’t even know him, you refuse to talk to him. So your judgment is unfounded. To be honest, it sounds like envy to me.”
“Oh, you are sick for that.”
Suki chuckles. “I’m just being real. Anyways, you’re the one who drew the comparison between him and Azula. And you guys have been getting along just fine recently, haven’t you?”
“After literal years of frustration, mind you. It’s always easier said than done, and excuse me for not wanting to stick my neck out and pour all my time into a stranger.”
Azula, the mirror opposite to her brother, has taken flight. She’s in a faraway land now, making money through unseen methods and studying unimaginably difficult subjects, all while looking maniacally wealthy and flaunting all on every social media page known to man. Despite still managing to outshine her brother in every sense of the word, she sends him encouraging messages everyday, reminding him that he’s not a failure for not blooming as quickly as she has, he just needs time to find his stride. She tries her best to be kind. That’s Zuko’s territory.
He knows and has seen the roots of her excellence, so it becomes easier for him to understand and tolerate it. Sokka, however, is no one to him. And yet no one can manage to stop themselves from forcing his sparkling image onto the boy. Suki’s eyes shine when she speaks of him. She can’t hide anything from Zuko.
Days pass as she sings the man’s praises, wearing down Zuko's senses, and perhaps striking at his curiosity too. Every other conversation eventually gives way to another spiel about the oh-so special character that is Sokka and how he’s continuously managed to find new ways to impress Suki and the rest of their peers. Suki insists, “Zuko, you’d love him, I swear. You just need an open mind.”
It seems others have fallen into this peculiar practice of trying to convince Zuko to care. Aang, who’s been dogged by his studies recently, appears seemingly out of nowhere asking to hang out with Zuko. They spend a day together, they go out to eat, and unexpectedly, his friend wonders aloud, “I wonder what Sokka would think of this place?”
Zuko groans. It always has to be about Sokka. He corrects himself briskly when Aang frowns. “Sorry. I wasn’t groaning at you. Just thinking about something.”
It’s apparent that this fascination has gone campus-wide and that there’s no real way to avoid it. He can’t wait for Suki to move on. No, he has to confront the issue head on, he has to meet this man for himself and thwart the pervasive hold he has over his life and the lives of his friends. He texts Suki promptly: i wanna meet that sokka guy.
Eagerly, she agrees and arranges for the three of them to meet. Strangely, though, she neglects to tell Zuko when and where this meeting is taking place, instead directing his attention towards other things. She makes mention of a club meeting she wants to go to, she thinks Zuko should join her and try his best to relax. Of course, he doesn’t think he needs to relax at all. But he wants to support her. He does.
“It’s something I’ve had my eye on since we went to the student organization showcase thing,” she tells him, skipping just a few paces in front of him as she leads the way to the building where this meeting is being held. “I’m really pumped about it, and I think you might like it too.”
“Alright, alright.” He just barely holds back a smile at the sight of her enthusiasm. They arrive at the building, and when they make it to the room, Suki parks herself just outside the door, nervously smiling as she turns to face Zuko again.
“Zuko.”
“Yes?”
“You know that I really love your writing.”
“Yes…?” He raises an eyebrow. He hasn’t shared much of his work with her, but what he has, she’s slobbered over with praise. “Why are you suddenly bringing this up?”
“You know I’ve been trying my hand at some writing too. And I’ve been having a lot of fun! I’m asking you to keep an open mind here, Zuko. Let’s try to do this together.”
She grabs him by the hand and pulls him into the classroom. There’s around a dozen students already in there, and at the front of the room is a projector image that reads: WELCOME TO KYOSHI MAGAZINE’S INTEREST MEETING. Kyoshi Magazine. He remembers their stand during the organization showcase. It’s an arts and culture magazine.
Zuko’s mouth falls agape. “A magazine?”
“They need staff writers,” She begins to explain hurriedly, tripping over her words. “I thought it’d be a nice extracurricular activity. I’ve been getting better and I wanted to try something new. And I know you prefer writing fiction, but they said they’re going to publish a fiction piece in their coming issue and they plan on taking submissions. I know how good you are, you should try it.”
“First, breathe.” He doesn’t like it when she stumbles trying to explain herself. It makes him feel like a parent being appeased by a teenage daughter. “I’m not angry or anything. Just surprised. But Suki, I don’t know. It’s not like I’m writing to get published or anything.”
“You don’t have to make up your mind right now,” she assures him. “Let’s just get through this meeting and you can think about it some more later.”
He purses his lips. Scanning the room, he quickly gets a feel for the kind of people this magazine is home too. These people, they’re all artsy characters, fashionable and creative-looking. He must stand out like a sore thumb. Suki blends into the crowd, into the colorful outfits, even into the damn walls. She shines.
“Suki!” A voice calls out from the other side of the room, its source hidden away by the crowd.
Suki beams, nudging Zuko with her shoulder. “Oh my gosh, he’s here! Zuko, look!”
She points forward, prompting Zuko to narrow his eyes. A man, just about his height, dressed more akin to a preppy, studious type, shuffles through the crowd. He doesn’t look like the rest of the students in the room, but he doesn’t fall to the wayside. No, in fact, he looks amazing.
“Zuko,” Suki says, gesturing towards the man before them. “This is Sokka.”
The man gives him a toothy grin, slinging an arm around Suki’s shoulders as he does. He extends a hand to Zuko. “It’s nice to meet you.”
There’s a number of things Zuko would like to say in order to describe this moment, but he knows very well none of them would be appropriate. Instead, he tries his best to swallow his thoughts and stifle the tightening feeling in his chest. Instead, he smiles and takes the man’s hand into his own. Instead, he lies. “It’s nice to meet you too.”