Relief
The little island was shaking now. Skulls were dislodged from their perches, rolling into the water. The trolls were almost upon her, picking their way across the precarious walkway, squealing at every drop of water that landed on their fur. Any trolls still on the shoreline were hammering the earth with their knuckles, long ropes of drool swinging from their jaws.
Luna waited until the last moment for maximum effect. The telepod’s screen was pressed into the rubbish heap, so the approaching animals would not have a clue as to what was coming.
The first troll in the line reached the island. This was the pack leader. He reared up to a height of almost ten feet, shaking his shaggy head and howling at the artificial sky.
Then he appeared to notice that Luna was not, in fact, a female troll, and a savage rage took hold of his tiny brain. Dribbles of venom dropped from his tusks, and he inverted his talons for an upward slash. Trolls’ preferred kill strike was under the ribs. This popped the heart quickly and did not give the meat time to toughen.
More trolls crowded onto the tiny island, eager for a share in the kill or a shot at a new mate.
From what she remembered from one of her travels with her father, trolls hated the light if she had had her wand with her a simple Lumos would have done the trick. Sadly the strange girl named Opal had taken her wand and she was now left to her own devices, particularly with the telepod that was used to relay the said megalomaniac’s message.
Luna chose that moment to act. She swung the tele-pod upward, pointing the buzzing screen directly at the nearest troll. The creature reared back, clawing at the hated light as though it were a solid enemy. The light blasted the troll’s retinas, sending him staggering backward into his companions. A group of the animals tumbled into the river. Panic spread back along the line like a virus. The creatures reacted to water as though it were acid dappling their fur and backpedaled furiously toward the shore. This was no orderly retreat. Anything in the way got scythed or bitten. Gouts of venom and blood flew through the air, and the water bubbled as though it were boiling. The troll’s howls of bloodlust changed to keening screams of pain and terror.
Luna wielded the tele-pod like a giant flashlight, advancing step-by-step across the makeshift bridge. She tried to concentrate on keeping her balance on the treacherous ground. She stepped from rock to rock, wobbling like novice tightrope walkers. Luna swung the tele-pod in smooth arcs, blasting trolls from every angle.
“Oh, my” the girl commented on the large number of trolls coming “I wonder what Harry would do in a situation like this” she pondered.
A crafty bull ducked low, avoiding Luna’s first sweep. He reached out one talon, cracking the pod’s waterproof casing. Luna stumbled backward making her fall into the river, landing with a solid thump in the shallow water.
The blonde felt the air shoot from her lungs and took an instinctive breath. Unfortunately, she took in water rather than air. She tried to keep her elbows locked, so the ruptured casing stayed out of the river.
Some splash drops crept into the crack, and sparks began to play across the screen.
Luna struggled to her feet, simultaneously aiming the screen at the bull troll as she coughed water from her lungs.
“Oh no” Luna realizing that her weapon was no longer of use “I guess it’s time to run”
She trudged through the water, stepping around thrashing trolls.
Luna chose a clear spot on the bank to climb ashore. It was a relief to be on dry land again, but at the bar least, the water had been on her side, as it were; now she was truly in troll territory.
The remaining animals encircled her at a safe distance. Whenever one came too close, Luna swung the tele-pod in its direction, and the creature skipped back as though stung. She was now fighting the cold, the fatigue, and the shock in her system.
Luna took several deep breaths, building up her strength. Her arms were sore from holding the tele-pod, but she would not let the fatigue show in her face or the fear. She looked those trolls straight in their red eyes and let them know they were dealing with a formidable enemy.
“Artemis, you better get here soon”
Luna took one final breath, then charged. The trolls were not expecting this tactic. After all, what kind of creature would attack a troll? They broke ranks in the face of the arc of white light, and their disconcertion lasted just long enough for Luna to charge through the hole in the line.
She hurried up the incline toward the temple.
“Looks like puberty finally hit you huh?” Mulch commented as Butler drove Artemis and the dwarf to the fairy shuttleport in Tara. “Going as far as to ask me, to save a girl”
As soon as he made his deal with Mulch, Artemis quickly contacted Butler to meet him in Hogsmeade where they flooed to the Manor (which luckily was empty due to his parents being Westmeath again) fetched Diggums, and were now headed for Tara. Draco and Theodore were to cover for him at least until the next morning or so.
“She’s my assistant,” Artemis said coolly “She knows vital things about my research, and if she does survive the wave of trolls Opal might use her against me”
Butler looked at his charge from the side view mirror “I thought she was your partner?”
“That depends upon her mood” Artemis rubbed his temples “Or to be more specific if the Nargles tell her so”
The dwarf seemed confused “Nargles?”
“We’re here” Butler parked the Bentley five yards from the shuttleport’s camouflaged entrance.
“I guess I’m off to work” Mulch then dove from the rear door straight into the earth submerging himself into the rich Irish soil.
Butler then moved the car again going to where they agreed to meet Mulch for the shuttle. The manservant took this opportunity to talk to his charge “I assume Miss Lovegood was more than some pawn for you”
Artemis kept his straight face “She’s not a pawn, she’s not even a chess piece, she’s the bouncing ball you use when you play jackstones”
“Just saying you’re friends can’t be that difficult,” Butler told his young charge “You already call Draco and the others that”
The Irish teen turned to the window looking at the vast green pastures near Tara “Something I shouldn’t have done”
Butler raised a brow.
“I’ve put them in danger. Much like Potter a mere association with me has left my acquaintances and allies at risk.” He then added “Especially her”
“They’re all willing to take the hit” Butler spoke “You know that”
Artemis remained silent for a moment before he brought out his laptop to check where Opal’s shuttle was heading “The LEP is at a loss right now, Holly’s going to have a court-martial at any moment now and Foaly can’t help us”
“Looks like we’re on our own on this one then”
Artemis typed on his keyboard “If things go according to my calculations, we’ll be back in Hogwarts before the last feast”
“How is Miss Lovegood holding up?” they had finally reached their destination, fifteen miles northeast of Tara, near a cluster of rocks shaped like a clenched fist.
A few more clicks were heard and Butler noticed the young wizard’s eyes widened for half a second before replying in his normal tone “We better hurry, she won’t last long”
Luna looked down at the massing trolls. They were advancing warily up the slope, heads down in case of a second flash.
“I guess this is it” she did a weak smile. “At least an entertaining way to go”
The trolls were hurrying now, swinging their hairy forearms forward to increase momentum. As their confidence returned, so did their voices.
Their howls to the roof bounced back off the metal structure.
The howling made it hard to concentrate. The smell didn’t help either.
She tried to close her eyes; they always say it made the pain go away.
But she didn’t.
Luna was born an optimist; despite having the tragic childhood of witnessing her mother’s death she always remained positive. She always tried to look at things on the brighter side because taking things too seriously just gave you a headache.
So it wasn’t a surprise that she decided to look up. Maybe this way she could see her mother’s face than trolls eating her alive, maybe she could see all the faces of the ones she loved rather than her blood spill. Maybe she could see that silly boy who always gets mad at her making the beakers explode pink stardust.
But when Luna looked up she saw none of that. Instead, she saw what seems to be the most bizarre creature she had faced yet.
A section of the hemisphere’s panel had been removed, and a rope was being lowered toward the temple roof. Swinging from the rope was what appeared to be a naked and extremely hairy rear end.
“Is this a dream?” Luna blinked “Have you come to take my soul?”
“Lie flat with your hands over your ears. Shut your eyes and mouth. And whatever you do, don’t breathe in.” the creature told her. “I’m about to overload these troll’s senses”
The blonde girl obeyed and lay on the roof.
Overhead, Mulch Diggums (for of course it was he) released a gentle squib of wind from his backside. Just enough to propel him in a gentle circle on the end of his rope. The circular motion was necessary to ensure an even spread of the gas he intended to release. Once he had completed three revolutions, he bore down internally and let fly with every bubble of gas in his bloated stomach.
Because trolls are by nature tunnel creatures, they are guided as much by their sense of smell as their night vision. A blinded troll can often survive for years, navigating his way to food and water supplies by smell alone. Mulch’s sudden gaseous recyclings sent a million conflicting scent messages to each troll’s brain. The smell was bad enough, and the wind was sufficient to blowback the trolls’ dreadlocks, but the combination of scents inside the dwarf gas, including clay, vegetation, insect life, and everything else Mulch had eaten over the past few days, was enough to short out the trolls’ entire nervous systems. They collapsed to their knees, clasping their poor aching heads in taloned hands.
After doing a theatrical bow (which was not easy to do on a rope) he turned to the girl “Jump on, quickly”
Luna did not question the creature and stepped onto the rope and looked up to see a familiar face “Mr. Butler?” she was a bit surprised.
“It’s good to see you too Miss Lovegood,” Butler said as he quickly pulled her up away from danger. “Someone wants to see you”
When he saw Butler pull her up into the shuttle she was a total mess. Her hair had been frazzled, her uniform was torn up, and she had scabs on her elbows and dirt on her face. She was cold and signs of fatigue were everywhere, yet despite how rugged her appearance was she still had that damn smile of hers.
Artemis could hear Orion calling her an angel with a dirty face.
He didn’t realize he was just staring at her until she spoke “You should probably add trolls in the training manuals, though I think they’re a different breed”
The boy was silent while Butler just smiled.
Mulch, on the other hand, was having none of it “Hello” he waved “Your hero is right here”
At once Luna approached the dwarf and gave him a pet “Thank you Mr. . . . Buttocks, for rescuing me from those trolls”
Despite being called that Mulch had to admit the girl was sweet, she didn’t even seem disgusted by his appearance she seemed fascinated by him “Well no problems mud girl, and it’s Mulch. Mulch Diggums your friendly neighborhood dwarf.”
“Dwarf?” Luna’s blue eyes widened in excitement “The ones with very strong farts?”
Mulch smirked, “Well would you like another demonstration?”
Before Luna could get carried away by poking Mulch and doing who knows what Artemis did a cough “Mulch, we’ve got other issues to handle”
“Alright Mudboy, I won’t distract your lady here” Mulch gave the girl a wink before he went for the pilot seat and followed the coordinates Artemis had set up earlier that would locate Opal.
To get some sort of privacy Artemis brought Luna to a small bathroom at the rear of the shuttle.
“What a weird looking toilet” Luna commented on the in-door toilet which seat was made of some spongy material.
“It’s said to break down any waste that came through” Artemis made her sit on the small ledge by the porthole “But I wouldn’t test that if I were you”
He then proceeded to use healing charms to heal her words, fix her uniform and even clean her face (because he didn’t know what effect fairy soap had on humans and he’d rather not find out).
When Artemis was done Luna finally spoke “You’re probably mad, at what I just did”
The teen placed his wand back “I am”
“I had a sense that someone was after you” she refused to look at him at the moment and decided to stare at whatever this weird bathroom had to offer.
He closed his eyes “So you decide to get captured for my sake”
“You didn’t tell me you had enemies from other species”
“I believe that would have been a given” he sighed. “You were ‘this’ close from being troll meat”
“And what makes you think you could have fared better” she was staring at her reflection on the mirror on the side. What she saw was a young girl sitting on a toilet bowl with a boy who was just a few inches away from her, it was only now she realized how enclosed the restroom was.
Artemis opened his left eye “That’s beside the point”
Luna knew that part of the whole thing was her fault; she knew that she didn’t have any fallback plan when she drank the polyjuice potion. But right now she felt angry and Luna was never mad, not even to her tormentors, sure maybe to those who insulted her father though she never really let it out.
She stood up from her toilet throne and faced the Slytherin “I believe this conversation is done” she tried to get past him but there was no actual space to move so she was still trapped in this tiny room until Artemis was to move, and unfortunately for her, he didn’t.
“You’re acting like a child,” he told her in a tone a grandfather would use on a toddler.
Luna frowned “I’ve always acted like this”
“That’s your problem” their faces were now mere inches away from each other as Artemis moved forward “Why did you do it? Answer me that and I’ll let you go”
“I assume this letting go, is more than just me leaving this room” Luna glared.
He paused for a moment before he replied “Yes”
The girl clenched her fists and from behind him, Artemis could feel the mirror cracking “Fine” she finally said.
“So what will it be then?”
She suddenly asked, “What am I to you?”
“Excuse me?”
“Artemis Fowl” she raised her voice “I had enough of this animosity, I don’t know if I’m considered any value to you or just another of your pawns. I don’t know if this thing is going anywhere or nowhere at all. I don’t know if all we’ve been doing has been a waste of your time, my time, and everyone else’s” she didn’t realize she had been yelling until she ended her statement with a pant.
Shock was an understatement; Artemis didn’t know what to reply. Of all the things this girl had made him do, from riding Threstrals to reading the Quibbler (yes he read it, and he was baffled by the weather reports), she had placed him on the spot yet again and he didn’t know if he had an answer.
Originally he planned to finish this thing with Opal then cut ties with her as soon as they reached Hogwarts. Things were getting complicated and dangerous at the same time and Artemis didn’t know if they could both handle it. She was going to die if they didn’t come last minute, now what would have happened if it wasn’t the pixie who captured her but Death Eaters? He wasn’t an enemy to them yet but sooner or later he would be and he was sure she’d get tangled up in all of it again.
Luna was starting to get impatient, her logic left her when she got mad “Fine, you refuse to answer, or you probably don’t want to answer” she took a deep breath “The reason why I did that . . .”
Artemis was looking at her intently.
“Was because I care about you” the anger in her face was gone, though it was replaced with something else that seemed to be a combination of disappointment and exhaustion.
“I was worried about you, you’ve been stressed ever since the third task, even before it and I was starting to get scared for you. Then I saw that room . . . “
“So, you did see it”
“I didn’t go inside” Luna’s grey eyes bore into him “But I could already tell from the aura what you use that room for”
The room in question was the Chamber of Secrets in which after the events of that year Artemis had converted to use when he experimented with magic. Luna had seen the lab in question multiple times as it was safer for her to conduct potions experiments (also the fact that Professor Snape was getting irritated by his equipment being constantly damaged).
There is a section of the chamber in which Artemis had sealed. Artemis had used every trick he could think of to hide that room as he did not want anyone to enter nor did he want whatever was in that room to come out. Though he was not surprised that Luna eventually stumbled upon the place.
“The Dark Arts are a dangerous thing to enter into. I know you may think you are smart enough to overcome its corruption but that is not the case.”
“Are you referring to the incident that happened to your mother?”
She closed her eyes “I’ve seen what such power could do to a person” her voice went soft almost croaking “It’s more than pain, it’s more than having the life sucked out of you, and it’ll go to the point where you want to die . . .” she opened her eyes water starting to form in her pupils “I can handle my death, but I certainly can’t see yours”
“I assure you” he used his thumb to rub her tears “I know full well what I’m getting myself into”
“Because you’re Artemis Fowl?” she said with the corners of her mouth turning into a smile.
In hindsight, Artemis could have done anything else to sedate her. Comment on watersprites eating her tears, tell some joke about Mulch’s digestive tract, give her a hankie, heck a hug would have been enough.
Instead, he kissed her.