He survived

Regulus had just explained to everyone his plan for the war and James agreed. How could he not? Come on, it's Regulus Black we're talking about right now. Regulus had revealed to everyone what Peter was going to do to James and Lily, and James feels sick inside. He feels like the world he once knew is falling apart. Peter? His best friend Peter? The fourth Marauder? No, no absolutely not. James sits in Sirius and Remus's room, on their bed. He keeps thinking about him and Peters friendship, all the things they did when younger, all the pranks they pulled, all the times James stood up for Peter, and Peter was just going to throw it all away? Peter was going to kill James? James couldn't think about it, he just couldn't.

He felt like he was going to cry, he could feel the tears prickling up in his eyes but then the door opened. Sirius walked in and gently closed the door behind him and sat down by James. He immediately wrapped on arm around James's shoulder and let James lay his head in Sirius's lap and cry. James loved Sirius, not the way that Sirius loved Remus or James loved Lily. No, no, the love James has for Sirius is different, its brotherly. James found Sirius's presence very comforting, so it was very easy to cry with Sirius, and he usually didn't cry for long.

But this time was different. James hated having fake friends, his friends lying to him, or betraying him. And Peter lied to him and was betraying him. James couldn't handle it, he hated it. James thinks he cried for almost an hour, but who's keeping track of the time? The whole time James was crying Sirius was running his hands through James's hair. When James was done crying, he rested the side of his face on Sirius's knee and looked up at him. Sirius smiled at James and James smiled back. What is it with the Black brothers and their smiles? James definitely had to talk to Remus later. Him and Remus loved to gossip. Which a lot of people find surprising, James did too. When he first met Remus, Remus was the shy, quiet kid who was very defensive, didn't open up, and definitely had trauma. But now James and Remus always gossip. "You okay Prongs?" Sirius said and messed up James's hair since Sirius had smoothed it out.

James nodded. "I'm fine, just... Shocked I guess" Sirius nodded. "I just don't understand why Peter would do what he was planning on doing? Like, did we ever leave him out, maybe planned a prank without him?"

Sirius shrugged. "I don't know, but I don't like it" James nodded. "I'll talk to Regulus about it later. Maybe he'll know"

James nodded. Okay, he really needed to talk to Remus. "Hey pads" Sirius nodded. "I want to talk to Remus, it's teatime"

Sirius raised his eyebrows in confusion. "How the hell is it teatime right now?"

"Reasons. Very good reasons" James lifted his head off Sirius's knee. Sirius got up and left the room. James sighed and laid back onto the bed. Why does he feel this way towards Regulus? It's his best friend's brother, and James is dating Lily, and the prophecy says they have a child! But is it really James's fault, like Regulus is- Well he's Regulus, he's just attractive. But then there's Lily. Fuck, Lily, Lily, Lily- Remus walked in and closed the door behind him.

He laid down on the bed next to James. "So, I heard its teatime" James nodded. "What's the tea Prongs?"

James bit his lip, closed his eyes then sighed. "Okay just-don't kill me"

"Well, I'm not sure what I would be killing you for"

"So, I may or may not like Regulus... And Lily" James closed his eyes tighter

James could hear Remus stifle a laugh. "Prongs, you've spoken to Regulus like... Twice" James nodded. "And you have a crush? Or is it more than a crush?"

James opened his eyes and turned his head to look at Remus. "Are you serious?"

"No, but I am his boyfriend"

*James laughed. Yes, they've been telling that joke since first year, yes, it's still funny. "Remus, please I'm in a crisis!" James dramatically rolled on top of Remus.

Remus laughed. "Get off me weirdo!" James shook his head. "James Fleamont Potter, if you do not get off my bad leg, I will use my cane to beat the shit out of you, and I won't help you with your crisis" Remus sounded serious so James rolled back on to the bed. "Okay, so you said you like both of them?" James nodded. "Hold on, Sirius can help. Just hand me my cane, you rolling on my fucking leg did not help my leg"

James got off the bed and grabbed Remus's cane that was right by the door. He handed Remus his cane. "Sorry Rem"

Remus grabbed the cane and used it to help stand up. "It's fine Prongs. I'll be right back" Remus walked out of the room, his cane making small thuds against the hard floor. James flopped down onto Remus and Sirius's bed again and sighed. James couldn't stop thinking about Lily, he still likes her, yes. But then there's Regulus. He's French and has an accent, and his curls, and his hands, and his eyes. Oh, don't get James started on Regulus's eyes.

James gets snapped out of his thoughts when the door opens again and Sirius comes skipping into the room with Remus slowly following behind him, still using his cane. Sirius sat on one side of James, and Remus sat on the other side. "So, I'm finally in on the top secret teatime meetings. What is this one about?" Sirius said with a smile on his face.

Remus smirked. "It's about your brother. And Lily"

Sirius blinked hard a few times. "Sorry?" James nodded. "You- what with my brother?"

James sighed. "I may like him"

"we aren't eleven, you can say the 'L word'" Remus smirked again.

Sirius shook his head and smiled. "I was right! I was fucking right!"

James looked at Sirius in surprise. "You're what?"

"Right, I'm right" Sirius smiled. "Okay when did you realize you loved him?"

James sighed. "When him and Lily were fighting a couple of hours ago. But-but I think I've always known, in a way"

Sirius nodded. "And what do you- Wait, what about Lily?"

"That's my problem" James sat up.

"If it helps any, I think she is in love with Mary"

James looks at him curiously. "What do you mean? How would you even know" James doesn't know how to feel, he feels a little jealous, but also happy at the same time because he could date Regulus. Wait, Regulus would never date James.

Sirius shrugged. "I mean, she looks at Mary the same way you do with Regulus and used to do with her. So technically it's just an educated guess. But Prongs, you chased after Lily for six fucking years, do you seriously not love her like that anymore?"

James sighed. "I don't know. I love her but I also love Regulus. And I honestly, think her and Mary would make a better couple than me and Lily" Remus and Sirius nodded. "But Regulus... I can't stand it when even Barty touches him, and it's pretty obvious Barty and Evan are in love with each other. But I can't help but feel possessive over Regulus"

Remus nods. "I think that gives you the answer Prongs"

James nods and looks down. "But I'm not good at breaking up with people, I can't break up with Lily. How would one even break up with Lily Evans?"

Sirius chuckled and pats James's shoulder. "You'll figure it out mate"

Shortly after Sirius and Remus left to let James think. Should he break up with Lily? Yes, no, yes, no, yes. Yes, he will. He does love Lily, but he does see the way she looks at Mary and he knows Lily sees how he looks at Regulus. It would just be better for both of them. Now James can't stop thinking about Regulus, does this ever-fucking end? Probably not. But that's fine, he can happily think about Regulus all day, every day for the rest of his life. But first he needs to break up with Lily.