Wuthering Heights
The next day, Sirius marched into the Great Hall with a small piece of paper in his hand, containing the names of eight of the women. What he would do next was the beginning of one of the things that Sirius most dreaded about the Selection. Sending them back home.
Sirius had promised himself, in his eighteenth birthday, that he would try his hardest to stay true to his heart. He didn’t want to marry someone based only on status, connections and money.
So what was the point on postponing the inevitable? It would only cause more pain, for him and for them.
The guards opened the double doors and reveled the 35 women, each sitting in their respective sit, all carefully chosen by McGonagall. Sirius had had his breakfast in his bedroom and arrived quite late, so everyone had already finished eating, waiting only for the prince’s arrival.
“Good morning, ladies,” he greeted them as he entered, receiving, not surprisingly, lots of shy smiles and low giggles.
“Good morning, Your Highness,” all of them echoed back in sync, slightly bowing their heads.
Sirius took a deep breath to calm himself down before he started speaking. He instantly felt better as he spotted James in the corner, alongside some other guards.
“Ladies, I am gonna call a few of your names now, and if I call yours, I ask you to please stay on your sits so I could talk to you. The rest can follow Minerva to the Ladies’ Room.”
He carefully unrolled the paper and read the names out loud. All the other girls stood up to go after Minerva, pausing shortly to make a reverence at Sirius before leaving. He tried not to feel terrible as he saw the happy faces of the girls he called. They probably thought that he liked them, when it was quite the opposite.
The next few minutes were terrible. Sirius witnessed the emotions cross the women’s faces as he spoke and gave them the news, as politely as he could. Excitement turned into confusion, then into sadness and, in some of them, into anger.
There were tears and hearts broken, and Sirius felt like he was the world’s biggest monster, but at least it was over. He knew he did what he had to do.
However, his relief didn’t last very long. Two guards escorted the women back to their rooms, where they would prepare themselves and wait for the carriage that would send them back home. Just as they left the Great Hall and Sirius felt like he could finally breath again, he found himself almost falling onto his back with the force of his mothers’s hand colliding with his face.
“Are you out of your mind?!” she yelled at him, face masked with fury as she stared at her son.
“It seems that is you that is out of your mind, mother,” he raised his voice slightly, not really wanting to upset her further but finding it impossible to keep quiet, “What the buggering hell was that for?!”
“For sending them away on the second day!” she screamed again, and Sirius swore he could almost see smoke coming out of her ears like a cartoon.
“What is the big deal about that?” he retorted, “What is the point of them staying if there is no future for them here?”
“You can’t possibly know that yet!” she spit, fuming.
“Yes, I can, and I do,” Sirius spoke firmly, tilting his chin to stand even taller, towering above his mother, “I don’t imagine myself with any of those women.”
Walburga stared into his eyes quietly for a few moments, hers the same grey as his, but at the same time completely different. After a few seconds that felt like hours passed by, she took one step forward, leaving almost no space between them.
“I couldn’t care less if you don’t want to be with any of these women,” she said in a cruelly cold voice, “I won’t let you disgrace this family. You will do the right thing, or I swear to God I will make you do it.”
Sirius felt as if someone injected ice inside his veins, all the warmth leaving his body and being replaced by a terrible sensation of emptiness.
He didn’t even notice how much time has passed and what was happening around him until he felt a familiar touch on his shoulder.
“Sirius? Are you okay?” he looked to his left to find James standing there, worriedly staring at him.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” Sirius tried to shrug it off, but he knew he couldn’t convince James. Sometimes he thought the man knew Sirius more than Sirius knew himself.
He let his mind trail of for a moment, remembering how he first met James. They were both eleven, and Sirius didn’t have any friends. James’ father worked at the palace as a guard, and James lived with his mother in a town near the palace.
When his mother passed, he came to live with his father on the palace, and that’s how he met Sirius. They basically grew up together, and both of them considered themselves brothers in everything but blood. Finally, in James’ seventeenth birthday, he was invited to join the guard, which he gladly accepted.
“Sirius?”
Sirius was startled back to reality by James’ voice calling him again, and finally caved.
“Okay, I am not exactly fine.” He told him, seeming reluctant to talk.
James’ eyes softened even more at that, and he pulled Sirius into a comforting hug.
“It’s okay, Sirius. You know you can talk to me, right?” He asked as they embraced.
Sirius sighed, sounding miserable, and James tightened his hold on him.
“I know, Jamie. It’s just...God, she hates me,” he choked, fighting back his tears, “Why does my own mother hate me?”
James took a steep back to look into his best friend’s eyes, and Sirius was surprised to see that they were a bit watery as well.
“Listen to me, Sirius,” he said firmly, grasping both of his shoulders, “Do not think, for even one second, that this is your fault, do you understand me?”
Sirius tried to answer him, tried to say something, but he found he just couldn’t. James seemed to understand it, though, as he simply embraced him once again.
They stayed quiet for a few minutes until James stepped back, a rather mischievous grin on his face.
“So,” he started, clearly attempting to cheer Sirius up a bit, “did you like any of them, at least?”
Sirius laughed loudly, and he saw James’ grin turn into a triumphant one.
“Piss off, you prick!” he shoved him friendly, still laughing, “Are you trying to steel one of them to yourself too, like Regulus?”
“Oh, my friend,” James’ face gained a dreamy look, his voice soft, and Sirius cursed himself quietly for bringing the subject up, “You know I only have eyes for Lily.”
Sirius rolled his eyes dramatically. ‘Now he won’t stop talking about it.’
“Any progress lately, my dearest friend?” he teased him anyway.
James sighed rather loudly at the question, which only made the situation funnier in Sirius’ eyes.
“Not yet, no. But one day she will realize that I’m the love of her life.” He spoke confidentially, and Sirius couldn’t help but hope that he was right. His friend’s happiness was just as important to him as his own.
~
Sirius woke up with a jump at the knocks on his door, shocked to see that his clock was already marking midnight.
The selected women were still preparing themselves and taking some lessons, so Sirius wasn’t free to start scheduling his dates until the next day.
Therefore, he spent the day trying to catch up on his studies, which he’d been neglecting for the past few weeks, his mind too full to really focus on anything. He wasn’t surprised at all that ended up falling asleep.
Quickly straightening his hair and making sure he wasn’t looking utterly terrible, Sirius made his way to the door and took a breath before opening it.
There Remus was, looking shy and insecure, no longer on his uniform and holding the book safely in his hands. Sirius didn’t know why, but he felt a funny new feeling in his stomach at the sight of him.
‘Weird,’ he thought.
“Good evening, Your Highness,” Remus greeted reverently from where he stood on the doorway, not quite meeting Sirius’ eyes.
“Remus, there you are!” Sirius answered the nervous boy with a grin, standing aside so he could enter. “Please, come in!”
“Thank you, Your Highness.”
As soon as Remus stepped into his bedroom, Sirius could see his eyes widen and his mouth open considerably. He stood awkwardly in the middle of the giant room, looking around in awe, like he was staring at a whole new world.
Sirius saw his eyes trail the king side bed leaning against the wall, the piano posing in the corner and the magnificent candle holder hanging from the golden ceiling. Meanwhile, Sirius found himself unable to let his gaze slip from the man.
“Wow, this is amazing...” Remus whispered to himself, seeming to have forgotten about Sirius’ presence.
“I’m glad you like it,” Sirius answered behind him, a soft smile on his pretty face.
Remus brutally turned around, blushing scarlet, and Sirius hold a chuckle as he thought he’d never seen someone look so red.
And there was that feeling in his stomach again. Sirius would have to request a doctor if that kept happening.
“I am deeply sorry, Your Highness,” Remus stuttered, “I didn’t mean to be so blunt.”
“There is no reason to apologize, Remus,” he told him fondly, before motioning to one of the two very comfortable chairs that laid right next to his writing desk, “Let’s take a seat and then we can begin, is that okay with you?”
“Yes, of course, Your Highness.”
Remus waited for Sirius to take the first seat before cautiously following him and taking the other one.
“Sirius,” Sirius blurted out without even thinking, earning in response an incredulous look from the man beside him.
“I am sorry, Your Highness?”
Sirius felt extremely vulnerable under Remus’ gaze, and struggled to understand why that man seemed to make him feel so...weird.
“Sirius,” he continued decidedly after only the briefest hesitation, “I want you to call me Sirius.”
He couldn’t really decipher all of Remus’ expression, but he was sure there was surprise there.
“With all due respect, Your Highness, I don’t think that would be—“
“Appropriate?,” Sirius cut him off, eyebrows raised and lips forming a teasing grin, “Just like you said coming here would be. And yet, here you are, aren’t you?”
Remus stared at him for a few seconds and Sirius was sure that he had just screwed everything up, that Remus would realize the craziness of the situation and leave.
But the boy surprised him once again when his lips formed an easy smile.
“Alright, you’ve got a point...Sirius.” The name left his mouth rather hesitantly, but that didn’t do anything to decrease the joy Sirius felt at that moment. He liked the way his name sounded on Remus’ lips.
‘Why am I thinking about his lips?’ Sirius reprehended himself, frustrated, a frown forming on his forehead.
“Are you okay?”
Sirius looked at Remus to find his eyes fixed at him worriedly, and immediately felt bad for concerning him.
“Yeah, sure, I am alright ,” he answered casually, and felt himself relax when he saw the worry in Remus’ eyes subside. “We can start already, if you want.”
Remus opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but then closed it again just as quickly. He looked at the book on his lap, and then at Sirius, before starting to talk again.
“Your High—Sirius,” he corrected himself with a short laugh before turning serious again, “I have to ask...why are you doing this for me?”
Sirius was caught off guard with the question, remaining quiet for a moment too long before answering him.
“I don’t know. Why wouldn’t I be?”
Remus just stared at him for a minute, his gaze so intense that made Sirius feel bare. Finally, his face lit up in satisfaction.
“Well, I can’t thank you enough,” he continued, his eyes strong and sincere, never leaving Sirius’, “It means a lot to me.”
Sirius thought of shrugging it off, maybe say that it was nothing and he shouldn’t worry about it, but for some reason he thought Remus wouldn’t be pleased with that. So he settled for returning his gaze, just as firmly, and replied a soft “You’re welcome.”
Remus smiled at him before opening the book, and they began their lesson.
It turned out Remus was a pretty good student. He was patient and determined, so he was learning really fast.
Sirius only noticed how much time has passed when Remus glanced at the clock and cursed.
“Oh fuck, it’s two in the morning. I didn’t even realize.”
“Me neither,” Sirius answered laughing, but secretly sad their time was up. He had enjoyed spending time with him more than he had expected. “You were very good, though, so it was worth it a night of almost no sleep.” he added, receiving a full grin from Remus.
“Just because you are a really good teacher.”
They just smiled at each other for a moment, and when Remus closed the book and motioned to stand up, Sirius gave in to his curiosity.
“This book...it seems very important to you.”
He had noticed a few times during the night, on the way that Remus’ hands flipped the pages, how his fingers carefully followed the words and how he looked at it almost respectfully.
Suddenly Sirius felt like he had intruded in something very personal as he saw the way Remus hesitated, and guilt filled his body.
“You don’t have to talk about it, of course,” he added not even a second later, “It really isn’t any of my business.”
“No, no, it’s, umm, it’s okay.”
Sirius watched as Remus briefly closed his eyes and took a deep breath, before opening them again.
“This was my mother’s book,” he told him quietly, almost in a whisper.
“Was?”
Sirius’ heart clenched in his chest when he saw Remus’ eyes fill with tears.
“She passed away when I was younger,” his voice was heavy when he spoke, and Sirius felt a surprisingly strong urge to wrap his arms around him.
“I am so sorry, Remus, I... I don’t know what to say.”
Remus gave him a watery smile before looking down at his feet.
“It’s okay, really. It was a long time ago.”
They stayed silent for a minute, just standing there facing each other, before Remus spoke again.
“Mom found this book in the streets one day, next to our house, when I was around three years old. She said I was fascinated with the figures on the cover, and that I always asked her what that story was about.”
Sirius observed Remus’ face as he went through his memories, eyes unfocused as he tried to reach the past.
“So one day, after my constant insistence to learn more about the book, she had this idea. She would open the book and tell me countless stories, all of them fruit of her own imagination. Then she told me, when I was a little bit older, that one day, she would be able to read. She would learn and teach me, so we could read it together.”
At that point, some tears had escaped Remus’ eyes, leaving a trail on his scarred face. Sirius tried to come up with something, anything to say, that could ease the man’s pain. He looked so vulnerable, so broken, and Sirius just wanted to make it go away.
“She would be so proud of you, Remus,” he settled for telling him once he could speak again.
And as Remus smiled at him, face still wet, Sirius knew that boy was special. He just didn’t know how much yet.