No return
His chest was suffocating. He was suffocating. He needed to breathe.
Goodness! Will someone remind him how to breathe. It felt like he was taking in air with no oxygen. He could inhale as many times as possible but it felt like he could die with no air at any time.
He was never one for dramatics. But Merlin was he dramatic right about now. And he didn't know how not to be. Because right now it seems so natural. Those stupid romantic movies she would play Saturday nights in his room, her head in his lap and hands always, always interlocking his own, doesn't seem so dramatic and fake. Draco felt just like those lousy male characters who didn't even try their best to keep their lovers, it felt like he was in those crying in the rain scenes, cue the rain.
He's now returned back to the common room. His eyelids are heavy he could fall asleep on the couch any second, he wanted to lay down but he thought it would be bad if he really fell asleep there, tomorrow being Saturday and the time kids would enjoy their weekend, he doesn't really want the whole of Slytherin to witness the aftermath of his breakup. Not that they know he has any relationship, they probably think he's incapable of loving, they'd probably think Harry Potter outshone him in something.
Still, his eyes wouldn't stop flooding out. Every time he felt like he ran out of tears, more surprisingly came trickling down his cheeks and drops onto his trousers. He wouldn't be surprised if blood was to drip on his hand right about now.
Goodness, that Nicholas Sparks chap she loves to read would probably profit a lot from this heartbreak of his.
He was using all his power not to think of her again, but he couldn't. What would she be doing now? He tried being foolish and telling himself she's probably sound asleep, but he knows. He knows she's still up in the tower, crying her heart out. He only prayed tonight she cried it all out, and tomorrow she's laugh about it all.
Oh god, he'll miss laughing with her. He hardly laughs heartily, it was mostly sarcastic laughs or snickers of mockery. But when he does, it's because of her. Those loud unladylike chokes of laughter she'd make when she can no longer control her laughter. Her eyes would crinkle so much, and her smile would be so wide, there are days he thought chocolate frogs would jump into her mouth as she laughed. Her eyes were always bright, bright - Merlin what was her eye colour? Panic choked his throat. No, he can't forget about her already, he made sure to have a last look and he promised to himself it should last him years and years of memory. She'd still be in the tower, wouldn't she? Can he have one last look? He swears to Merlin it'd be the last. He swears.
Another wave of warm tears rushed through him, there was no stopping it. He tried to remember. Tried to remember that laugh he loves so much but he couldn't come up with anything. He waited for the ghost of laughter to hit his ears, even if it's all his hallucination, he waited and waited. Maybe if he focused a little more he'd hear it again, maybe, maybe, maybe, but his ears started ringing instead.
He tried to remember the colour of her eyes again. Nothing. Tried remembering her smile.
Yes. Her smile, the dark cherry lipstick she'd use, no, wait, was it raisin coloured lipstick or dark cherry? No no, it has to be a classic red. No. This can't be happening. This shouldn't be happening. He was supposed to have these memories last him years and years. No. He can't handle not being able to see her smile anymore.
He couldn't take it anymore.
His legs moved quicker than they ever did before. He pleaded to Merlin to let him have one last look, he won't do more, he won't even show himself to her. He'd look, and leave. Just let him see her one last time.
"Merlin." He choked up, his quick legs starting to take a toll on his exhausted body, stumbling every ten steps, his breath shallow from the run and crying, he sounded so vulnerable that he pitied himself.
He's a fool to let go of the best thing in his life. Too much a fool to realise that he's being a fool.
As soon as he got there, there was nothing, just the wind and the mocking moon reminding him of what he lost.